That's... that's the new craze.

這是新流行欸！

[I] Don't consider 30 old, per se, I consider it on the way up.

我覺得 30 歲本身不算「老」，我覺得它是代表「邁入人生巔峰」。

30 is midlife crisis and then you find yourself...

30 歲的時候會有中年危機，然後你會發現自己...（變胖）。

When I hear the age 30, I think of better, you know, more wisdom.

我聽到「30 歲」的時候，我覺得應該會更好、更有智慧。

I don't... I... don't... I don't wanna be 30.

我不想要變成 30 歲。

- It seems old. It does. - 30 seems old.

-看起來會很老，真的。- 30 歲感覺超老。

- It does. It's okay. - I know.

-真的超老。沒關係。-我知道。

That's the scary part, is that you go to bed 29, you wake up 30 and it's the same life.

最恐怖的地方是，上床睡覺的時候你是 29 歲，醒來時雖然已經 30 歲，但你的人生還是一模一樣。

Like, everyone said "midlife crises", that's not...

大家都說會有「中年危機」，但並不是這樣...

Yeah, that's the weird ones.

那是一個奇怪的說法。

It's funny; what they don't realize is that the quarter-life crisis, I feel like, is actually pretty true.

還滿好笑的，他們沒有意識到他們的「青年危機」，我覺得很合理。

- Okay, like... - Like, you get out of college and then you're like...

-就像... -你從大學畢業後，你就像...

- What am I doing with my life? - Oh, shit.

-「我的人生到底在幹嘛？」-「該死。」

See, I think the quarter-life crisis is just... you have to pay rent.

我覺得「青年危機」就是發現你要開始繳房租了。

Parties will be irrelevant because I'll be too old.

派對應該都會跟我無關了吧，因為我已經太老了。

Parties will be ending early.

派對一定都會很早結束。

Parties will be boring.

派對會變得超無聊。

30-year-olds just drink wine and "let's have a night watching SVU".

30 歲的人只會喝點紅酒然後一起看個《法網遊龍》。

Parties at 30 actually get a lot better.

老實講，30 歲的派對好多了。

- Yeah. - Because the parties that you're going to now are just loud music and skunk beer.

-對啊。-因為你現在去的派對都只是在播超大聲的音樂然後喝著發臭的啤酒。

Oh, and sweat

還有汗臭味。

- And sweat. - And shame.

-還有汗臭味。 -還有丟臉。

Maybe this is good or bad, but I still host a lot of parties that go till 4 a.m.

這可能有好有壞，不過我其實還辦過很多嗨到凌晨 4 點的派對。

- Where did you get that we all drink wine all the time? - You see... I...

-你是從哪聽到說我們只喝紅酒的？-你看，我...

I've had wine before.

我以前都喝紅酒啦。

Wine will become your best friend in your thirties if, maybe, ditched the boxed wine.

如果你拋下那些盒裝紅酒的話，紅酒在你 30 歲時會成為你最好的朋友。

When you leave, the party's over.

你離開的時候，派對就已經結束了。

So, it doesn't really matter what time it is.

所以到底幾點結束其實並不重要。

When I leave.

當我離開的時候。

Hopefully, boys will be men by the time they're 30.

希望男孩們到他們 30 歲時可以成為男人。

That's gonna be the best⏤or not.

那是最好的，也可能不是啦。

I mean, maybe they need to be, like, 35, I don't know.

也許他們要等到 35 歲之類的。

I feel like by the time I turn 30, I really wouldn't care what people think, at all.

我覺得等到我 30 歲的時候，我就真的完全不在乎別人怎麼想了。

Depending on how cool my twenties are, maybe I'll be married.

要看我 20 幾歲時有多行吧，或許我會結婚。

But nobody will know that I am 30 when I'm 30.

但當我 30 歲時，沒有人會知道我 30 歲了。

Everyone's gonna think I'm still 29.

大家都會以為我還只有 29 歲。

Like, right now, I'm still kind of in that, like, teenage mindset, where I feel that everyone's, like, criticizing me.

我現在可能還有點處於青少年的心態，我還是覺得大家都在評論我。

- But when I'm 30, I just wanna... I just wanna live. - Right... and...

-但等我 30 歲時，我只想要享受人生。-對...。

We'll be the wine-night 30-year-olds who are, like, "Ugh, those 20-year-olds don't know what they're doing."

我們 30 歲會是那種有紅酒之夜的人，然後會想說：「那些 20 歲的根本不知道自己在幹嘛。」

Huh, but they sure are hot.

可是他們一定比較火辣。

-Yeah. - The only thing that I've learned from 20 to 30 is that I don't know anything.

-對。-我從 20 歲變成 30 歲學到的唯一事情，就是「我什麼都不懂」。

- Once you realize that you don't know shit... - Done loads of shit.

-當你理解到你自己其實啥都不懂時...。-會做出很多爛事。

- Then you know shit. - Then... then you know shit.

-你才真的開始懂了。 -你才開始懂了。

Yeah, you definitely come into your own and it's... you feel so much more comfortable just being yourself.

你確實想展現自己的本事，而且你會對「做自己」感到自在許多。

If you think that... that women are... are gonna get better by the time they're 30, just wait till you have a 40-year-old.

如果你以為女人到 30 歲會變得比較好的話，你就再等等好了，等到她們 40 歲。

The answer is, you're not gonna be where you think you are.

答案是，你不會待在你以為你會在的地方。

- Yeah. Totes. - Deep.

-真的，絕對不會。 -對吧。

There's one last thing I'd like to say: Fireball is...

我還想說最後一件事：撒旦威士忌...

- Delicious! Oh. - Awful!

-超讚！-難喝死了。

None of these fools know what the f*** they're talking about.

這群笨蛋沒有一個知道他們自己在講啥什麼。