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Here's what's good about 30, is that you drink through your mouth instead of pouring, uh, alcohol into a funnel into your butt.
關於 30 歲有件很讚的事,就是你會用「嘴巴」來喝酒, 而不是用漏斗把它灌進你的屁股裡。
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That's... that's the new craze.
這是新流行欸!
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[I] Don't consider 30 old, per se, I consider it on the way up.
我覺得 30 歲本身不算「老」,我覺得它是代表「邁入人生巔峰」。
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30 is midlife crisis and then you find yourself...
30 歲的時候會有中年危機,然後你會發現自己...(變胖)。
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When I hear the age 30, I think of better, you know, more wisdom.
我聽到「30 歲」的時候,我覺得應該會更好、更有智慧。
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I don't... I... don't... I don't wanna be 30.
我不想要變成 30 歲。
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- It seems old. It does. - 30 seems old.
-看起來會很老,真的。- 30 歲感覺超老。
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- It does. It's okay. - I know.
-真的超老。沒關係。-我知道。
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That's the scary part, is that you go to bed 29, you wake up 30 and it's the same life.
最恐怖的地方是,上床睡覺的時候你是 29 歲,醒來時雖然已經 30 歲,但你的人生還是一模一樣。
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Like, everyone said "midlife crises", that's not...
大家都說會有「中年危機」,但並不是這樣...
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Yeah, that's the weird ones.
那是一個奇怪的說法。
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It's funny; what they don't realize is that the quarter-life crisis, I feel like, is actually pretty true.
還滿好笑的,他們沒有意識到他們的「青年危機」,我覺得很合理。
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- Okay, like... - Like, you get out of college and then you're like...
-就像... -你從大學畢業後,你就像...
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- What am I doing with my life? - Oh, shit.
-「我的人生到底在幹嘛?」-「該死。」
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See, I think the quarter-life crisis is just... you have to pay rent.
我覺得「青年危機」就是發現你要開始繳房租了。
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Parties will be irrelevant because I'll be too old.
派對應該都會跟我無關了吧,因為我已經太老了。
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Parties will be ending early.
派對一定都會很早結束。
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Parties will be boring.
派對會變得超無聊。
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30-year-olds just drink wine and "let's have a night watching SVU".
30 歲的人只會喝點紅酒然後一起看個《法網遊龍》。
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Parties at 30 actually get a lot better.
老實講,30 歲的派對好多了。
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- Yeah. - Because the parties that you're going to now are just loud music and skunk beer.
-對啊。-因為你現在去的派對都只是在播超大聲的音樂然後喝著發臭的啤酒。
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Oh, and sweat
還有汗臭味。
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- And sweat. - And shame.
-還有汗臭味。 -還有丟臉。
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Maybe this is good or bad, but I still host a lot of parties that go till 4 a.m.
這可能有好有壞,不過我其實還辦過很多嗨到凌晨 4 點的派對。
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- Where did you get that we all drink wine all the time? - You see... I...
-你是從哪聽到說我們只喝紅酒的?-你看,我...
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I've had wine before.
我以前都喝紅酒啦。
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Wine will become your best friend in your thirties if, maybe, ditched the boxed wine.
如果你拋下那些盒裝紅酒的話,紅酒在你 30 歲時會成為你最好的朋友。
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When you leave, the party's over.
你離開的時候,派對就已經結束了。
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So, it doesn't really matter what time it is.
所以到底幾點結束其實並不重要。
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When I leave.
當我離開的時候。
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Hopefully, boys will be men by the time they're 30.
希望男孩們到他們 30 歲時可以成為男人。
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That's gonna be the best⏤or not.
那是最好的,也可能不是啦。
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I mean, maybe they need to be, like, 35, I don't know.
也許他們要等到 35 歲之類的。
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I feel like by the time I turn 30, I really wouldn't care what people think, at all.
我覺得等到我 30 歲的時候,我就真的完全不在乎別人怎麼想了。
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Depending on how cool my twenties are, maybe I'll be married.
要看我 20 幾歲時有多行吧,或許我會結婚。
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But nobody will know that I am 30 when I'm 30.
但當我 30 歲時,沒有人會知道我 30 歲了。
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Everyone's gonna think I'm still 29.
大家都會以為我還只有 29 歲。
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Like, right now, I'm still kind of in that, like, teenage mindset, where I feel that everyone's, like, criticizing me.
我現在可能還有點處於青少年的心態,我還是覺得大家都在評論我。
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- But when I'm 30, I just wanna... I just wanna live. - Right... and...
-但等我 30 歲時,我只想要享受人生。-對...。
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We'll be the wine-night 30-year-olds who are, like, "Ugh, those 20-year-olds don't know what they're doing."
我們 30 歲會是那種有紅酒之夜的人,然後會想說:「那些 20 歲的根本不知道自己在幹嘛。」
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Huh, but they sure are hot.
可是他們一定比較火辣。
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-Yeah. - The only thing that I've learned from 20 to 30 is that I don't know anything.
-對。-我從 20 歲變成 30 歲學到的唯一事情,就是「我什麼都不懂」。
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- Once you realize that you don't know shit... - Done loads of shit.
-當你理解到你自己其實啥都不懂時...。-會做出很多爛事。
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- Then you know shit. - Then... then you know shit.
-你才真的開始懂了。 -你才開始懂了。
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Yeah, you definitely come into your own and it's... you feel so much more comfortable just being yourself.
你確實想展現自己的本事,而且你會對「做自己」感到自在許多。
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If you think that... that women are... are gonna get better by the time they're 30, just wait till you have a 40-year-old.
如果你以為女人到 30 歲會變得比較好的話,你就再等等好了,等到她們 40 歲。
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The answer is, you're not gonna be where you think you are.
答案是,你不會待在你以為你會在的地方。
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- Yeah. Totes. - Deep.
-真的,絕對不會。 -對吧。
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There's one last thing I'd like to say: Fireball is...
我還想說最後一件事:撒旦威士忌...
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- Delicious! Oh. - Awful!
-超讚!-難喝死了。
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None of these fools know what the f*** they're talking about.
這群笨蛋沒有一個知道他們自己在講啥什麼。