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  • Here's what's good about 30, is that you drink through your mouth instead of pouring, uh, alcohol into a funnel into your butt.

    關於 30 歲有件很讚的事,就是你會用「嘴巴」來喝酒, 而不是用漏斗把它灌進你的屁股裡。

  • That's... that's the new craze.

    這是新流行欸!

  • [I] Don't consider 30 old, per se, I consider it on the way up.

    我覺得 30 歲本身不算「老」,我覺得它是代表「邁入人生巔峰」。

  • 30 is midlife crisis and then you find yourself...

    30 歲的時候會有中年危機,然後你會發現自己...(變胖)。

  • When I hear the age 30, I think of better, you know, more wisdom.

    我聽到「30 歲」的時候,我覺得應該會更好、更有智慧。

  • I don't... I... don't... I don't wanna be 30.

    我不想要變成 30 歲。

  • - It seems old. It does. - 30 seems old.

    -看起來會很老,真的。- 30 歲感覺超老。

  • - It does. It's okay. - I know.

    -真的超老。沒關係。-我知道。

  • That's the scary part, is that you go to bed 29, you wake up 30 and it's the same life.

    最恐怖的地方是,上床睡覺的時候你是 29 歲,醒來時雖然已經 30 歲,但你的人生還是一模一樣。

  • Like, everyone said "midlife crises", that's not...

    大家都說會有「中年危機」,但並不是這樣...

  • Yeah, that's the weird ones.

    那是一個奇怪的說法。

  • It's funny; what they don't realize is that the quarter-life crisis, I feel like, is actually pretty true.

    還滿好笑的,他們沒有意識到他們的「青年危機」,我覺得很合理。

  • - Okay, like... - Like, you get out of college and then you're like...

    -就像... -你從大學畢業後,你就像...

  • - What am I doing with my life? - Oh, shit.

    -「我的人生到底在幹嘛?」-「該死。」

  • See, I think the quarter-life crisis is just... you have to pay rent.

    我覺得「青年危機」就是發現你要開始繳房租了。

  • Parties will be irrelevant because I'll be too old.

    派對應該都會跟我無關了吧,因為我已經太老了。

  • Parties will be ending early.

    派對一定都會很早結束。

  • Parties will be boring.

    派對會變得超無聊。

  • 30-year-olds just drink wine and "let's have a night watching SVU".

    30 歲的人只會喝點紅酒然後一起看個《法網遊龍》。

  • Parties at 30 actually get a lot better.

    老實講,30 歲的派對好多了。

  • - Yeah. - Because the parties that you're going to now are just loud music and skunk beer.

    -對啊。-因為你現在去的派對都只是在播超大聲的音樂然後喝著發臭的啤酒。

  • Oh, and sweat

    還有汗臭味。

  • - And sweat. - And shame.

    -還有汗臭味。 -還有丟臉。

  • Maybe this is good or bad, but I still host a lot of parties that go till 4 a.m.

    這可能有好有壞,不過我其實還辦過很多嗨到凌晨 4 點的派對。

  • - Where did you get that we all drink wine all the time? - You see... I...

    -你是從哪聽到說我們只喝紅酒的?-你看,我...

  • I've had wine before.

    我以前都喝紅酒啦。

  • Wine will become your best friend in your thirties if, maybe, ditched the boxed wine.

    如果你拋下那些盒裝紅酒的話,紅酒在你 30 歲時會成為你最好的朋友。

  • When you leave, the party's over.

    你離開的時候,派對就已經結束了。

  • So, it doesn't really matter what time it is.

    所以到底幾點結束其實並不重要。

  • When I leave.

    當我離開的時候。

  • Hopefully, boys will be men by the time they're 30.

    希望男孩們到他們 30 歲時可以成為男人。

  • That's gonna be the bestor not.

    那是最好的,也可能不是啦。

  • I mean, maybe they need to be, like, 35, I don't know.

    也許他們要等到 35 歲之類的。

  • I feel like by the time I turn 30, I really wouldn't care what people think, at all.

    我覺得等到我 30 歲的時候,我就真的完全不在乎別人怎麼想了。

  • Depending on how cool my twenties are, maybe I'll be married.

    要看我 20 幾歲時有多行吧,或許我會結婚。

  • But nobody will know that I am 30 when I'm 30.

    但當我 30 歲時,沒有人會知道我 30 歲了。

  • Everyone's gonna think I'm still 29.

    大家都會以為我還只有 29 歲。

  • Like, right now, I'm still kind of in that, like, teenage mindset, where I feel that everyone's, like, criticizing me.

    我現在可能還有點處於青少年的心態,我還是覺得大家都在評論我。

  • - But when I'm 30, I just wanna... I just wanna live. - Right... and...

    -但等我 30 歲時,我只想要享受人生。-對...。

  • We'll be the wine-night 30-year-olds who are, like, "Ugh, those 20-year-olds don't know what they're doing."

    我們 30 歲會是那種有紅酒之夜的人,然後會想說:「那些 20 歲的根本不知道自己在幹嘛。」

  • Huh, but they sure are hot.

    可是他們一定比較火辣。

  • -Yeah. - The only thing that I've learned from 20 to 30 is that I don't know anything.

    -對。-我從 20 歲變成 30 歲學到的唯一事情,就是「我什麼都不懂」。

  • - Once you realize that you don't know shit... - Done loads of shit.

    -當你理解到你自己其實啥都不懂時...。-會做出很多爛事。

  • - Then you know shit. - Then... then you know shit.

    -你才真的開始懂了。 -你才開始懂了。

  • Yeah, you definitely come into your own and it's... you feel so much more comfortable just being yourself.

    你確實想展現自己的本事,而且你會對「做自己」感到自在許多。

  • If you think that... that women are... are gonna get better by the time they're 30, just wait till you have a 40-year-old.

    如果你以為女人到 30 歲會變得比較好的話,你就再等等好了,等到她們 40 歲。

  • The answer is, you're not gonna be where you think you are.

    答案是,你不會待在你以為你會在的地方。

  • - Yeah. Totes. - Deep.

    -真的,絕對不會。 -對吧。

  • There's one last thing I'd like to say: Fireball is...

    我還想說最後一件事:撒旦威士忌...

  • - Delicious! Oh. - Awful!

    -超讚!-難喝死了。

  • None of these fools know what the f*** they're talking about.

    這群笨蛋沒有一個知道他們自己在講啥什麼。

Here's what's good about 30, is that you drink through your mouth instead of pouring, uh, alcohol into a funnel into your butt.

關於 30 歲有件很讚的事,就是你會用「嘴巴」來喝酒, 而不是用漏斗把它灌進你的屁股裡。

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