Oh, hello, I didn't see you there.

噢，哈囉，我沒看到你在那兒

Welcome to "How to Act Like Your Favorite Actor".

歡迎來到「如何演得像你最愛的演員」

I can assure you that if you follow all these tips and techniques, you'll be acting....in a long time, and you'll be able to do things like this.

我可以保證，如果你照著這些技巧做，就可以...一段時間後，你就可以演得像這樣

Happy, sad, confused, transition

開心、傷心、困惑、轉場~~~

(Robert Pattinson)

(羅伯派汀森)

In order to act like Robert Pattinson, also known as Edward from the Twilight movies, all you have to do is to talk real quietly and sound like you're in pain.

要演得像羅伯派汀森，也就是暮光之城的愛德華一樣，你要做的就是輕聲說話，然後聽起來像你很不舒服一樣

It's like a drug to me.

(妳的氣味) 像藥一樣讓我如此著迷 (註：暮光之城的台詞)

More pain than that.

再痛一點

It's like a drug to me.

(妳的氣味) 像藥一樣讓我如此著迷

Even more.

還要再更痛

It's like a drug to me.

(妳的氣味) 像藥一樣讓我如此著迷

You just had spoiled milk in the morning and somebody punched you in the stomach, and now you have to hold in your pain.

就像你早上喝了壞掉的牛奶，有人在你的胃裡猛敲猛打，然後現在要忍痛

It's like a drug to me.

(妳的氣味) 像藥一樣讓我如此著迷

You're like my own personal brand of heroin.

妳是讓我上癮的海洛因

Kristen Stewart

克莉絲汀史都華

I don't know why Kristen Stewart gets so much hate for being a bad actor.

我不懂為什麼很多人討厭克莉絲汀史都華，覺得她演得很爛

In order to be a great actor, the character you're playing has to be consistent.

要當一位好演員，你演的角色必須有一致性

And Kristen Stewart is the master of consistency.

克莉絲汀史都華在這點就做得超好

(Shocking)

(震驚)

Oh my god, it's shocking.

天哪，好震驚

(Happy)

(開心)

Oh my god, I'm so happy.

天哪，我好開心

(Sad)

(傷心)

Oh my god, it's terrible.

天哪，好可怕

(Ninja)

(忍者)

Oh my god, I'm a Ninja.

天哪，我是忍者

(Pirate)

(海盜)

Arg my god.

天哪

(Lifeless piece of wood)

(無生命之木頭)

Oh my god.

天哪

See? They're all the same.

看到了嗎？他們都一樣

So people may give her a 1 out of 10 for acting.

演技滿分十分，大家可能會給她一分

But I give her a consis...10 out of 10.

但我給她一...十分

How do you feel about that, Kristen?

克莉絲汀，你覺得如何？

Oh my god, that's shocking.

天哪，好震驚

(Alan Rickman)

(艾倫瑞克曼)

In order to act like Alan Rickman, also known as Professor Snape from the Harry Potter movies, all you have to do is to make the Stitch voice from Lilo and Stitch.

要演得像艾倫瑞克曼，也就是哈利波特的石內卜教授的話，你要做的就是發出在星際寶貝裡史迪奇的聲音 (註：stitch是雙關：像針一樣、史迪奇)

Ohana means family.

Ohana就是家人 (註：史迪奇電影裡講的話)

And once you got that done, all you have to do is to make your voice deeper and talk with your teeth closed.

完成後，你要做的就是讓聲音深沉一點，講話時牙齒要合起來

I can teach you to bewitch the mind.

我可以教你擾亂心智

I can teach you to ensnare the senses.

我可以教你迷惑感官

I can teach you to strip the pet and sponge the bob.

我可以教你把寵物脫光光、海綿抹寶寶 (註：SpongeBob是海綿寶寶)

I can teach you to sound like Squidward.

我可以教你聲音聽起來像章魚哥

I can show you the world.

我可以帶你看這個世界 (註：這剛好是阿拉丁主題曲A Whole New World的第一句歌詞)

shining, shimmering, splendid

一個閃亮輝煌的世界 (註：A Whole New World的第二句歌詞)

(Arnold Schwarzenegger)

(阿諾史瓦辛格)

Everybody knows the accent.

大家都知道阿諾有很重的奧地利德語口音

But in order to sound like Arnold, all you have to do is to make the Kermit the Frog voice.

但要演得像阿諾的話，你只要發出科米蛙的聲音就好 (註：科米蛙是芝麻街裡面的一個布偶人物)

Kermit the Frog here.

我是科米蛙

And then sound like you're throwing up.

然後讓聲音聽起來像在嘔吐

Listen to me!

聽我說！

You have to get out of here!

快離開這裡！

Get to the chopper!

快到直升機那裡！ (註：阿諾在鐵血戰士裡最經典的台詞，後引申為往目標前進)

Get down!

趴下！

(Jim Carrey)

(金凱瑞)

In order to act like Jim Carrey, all you have to do is to flex every single muscle in your body and have really sharp quick movements.

要演得像金凱瑞一樣，你只要收縮你的每一寸肌肉，然後快速頓點移動

Well alright then

就這樣吧 (註：此句為電影王牌威龍的台詞)

(Taylor Lautner)

(泰勒洛特)

A lot of people say that Taylor Lautner is a bad actor but he's not.

很多人說泰勒洛特是爛演員，但不是啊

He just has a different style of acting called "distracting".

他只是有個特別的演戲方式，叫做「演到你分心」

All you have to do is to have a nice body and take off your shirt to distract people from your bad acting.

你只要身材好，利用脫衣服來讓大家分心，沒注意到你演得很爛

Oh my god, you're bleeding.

天啊，你在流血

Yeah, can you pass me that towel over there?

對啊，你可以幫我拿那邊的紙巾嗎

No no no, here.

不用了，這裡

Thanks.

謝啦

Got some blood on the counter, too.

桌上也沾到血了

Do you mind passing me...

你可以幫我拿...

Oh no, don't worry, here.

不用，別擔心，這裡

Okay.

好吧

Shoot! Spill the pepper.

可惡，胡椒灑出來了

Do you mind handing me that trash can over there?

可以幫我拿那邊的垃圾桶嗎？

Where do you keep getting those shirts from...

你從哪一直拿出這些衣服來...

Look! I don't know how you're doing that shirt magic but the bleeding is not stopping.

聽著，我不知道你怎麼變出那些衣服的，但是我的血一直流不停

So can you just call an ambulance or something?

你可以直接幫我叫台救護車嗎？

Oh yeah, sure!

當然

You don't need to take your shirt off. Just to call the...

你不用脫掉衣服，就幫我叫個...

Hello? - 911, what's your emergency?

喂？ - 這裡是911，請問是什麼緊急事件？

Hi yeah, you guys have any more shirts?

你好，你們那邊還有上衣嗎？

I'm running low.

我這邊的不夠了

(Robert Downey Jr.)

(小勞勃道尼)

He's like really sassy and sarcastic and do that stuttering thing where you don't really finish that sentence.

他講話有點無禮、諷刺，而且要結結巴巴地說話，然後講不出一句完整的話

So...you...you don't want me to...okay...yet...

所以...你...你不想要我....好...

Get...just....grab it my...yah

就...自己去.....

I just grab it myself.

我就自己去拿

(Ben Stiller)

(班史提勒)

What you gotta do is to hunch forward, throw up your arms and always be angry.

你要做的就是駝背向前傾，手舉起來，看起總是在生氣

I don't know, okay?

我不知道，好嗎

Why don't you ask the monkey over here?

你怎麼不問問那邊的猴子？

Oh, now you don't wanna move.

噢，你現在不想動

Oh, look at me. I'm a little monkey.

看我這邊，我是小猴子

I'm a little monkeyhead.

我長得像猴子

(Rick Grimes)

(瑞克格萊姆斯) (註：陰屍路的一個角色)

Carl

卡爾 (註：瑞克的兒子)

Carl!

卡爾

(Merle)

(梅爾) (註：陰屍路的角色)

Mouth full of chewing tobacco

嘴巴裡嚼著菸草

Well, well, well. What we've got here? Baby brother

瞧瞧誰來了呀？小兄弟

(Glenn)

(葛倫) (註：陰屍路的角色)

(Jennifer Lawrence)

(珍妮佛勞倫斯)

Jennifer Lawrence is a great actress.

珍妮佛勞倫斯是很棒的演員

But what makes people really love her is that she's really down to earth, and she doesn't care what people think.

但真正讓大家喜歡她的原因是她很沒有架子，而且她不在意別人怎麼看她

She's silly, she's clumsy.

有時傻，有時笨

She puts her pants on one leg at a time, just like everybody else after they take nudes.

她只是個平凡人，自拍裸照後也就像大家一樣，好好地把衣服穿回去

too far? - you're okay.

我這樣會太超過嗎？ - 還可以啦

Hey Jenn, do you think you can put that fork down?

珍，你可以把叉子放下嗎？

Why? Were you calling me fat?

為什麼？你覺得我很胖嗎？

What does it even matter how much I weigh?

我就算體重很重又如何？

I don't want little girls watching this and see Katniss as this anorexic supermodel character.

我不希望小女孩看了這個，把這個有厭食症的凱妮絲當作超級偶像

You don't have to be that skinny and beautiful.

不用一定要瘦成皮包骨才漂亮

Just to be a really strong, independent woman.

只要成為一位堅強獨立的女性

Okay, that's fine.

這當然可以

But this is Hunger Games. You supposed to be starving in the scene, not eating.

但這是飢餓遊戲，你在戲裡應該要飢餓，不是一直吃東西

Oh my god. I'm so embarrassed.

天哪，我太糗了

I'm so sorry guys. I am only human after all.

對不起各位，畢竟我只是個平凡人

It's okay.

沒關係

Here, I'll go put this over here.

我把這個放過去

(Matthew McConaughey)

(馬修麥康納)

All you have to do is to talk like you're in very deep thought all the time.

你要做的就是說話讓人感覺一直在深思

so that everything you say, even if it doesn't make sense, sounds like it's very deep and dramatic.

所以你說的每句話，即使是沒意義的，聽起來都要很深、令人印象深刻

Sometimes you gotta go back to actually move forward.

有時候要前進就必須先後退

I don't mean that like some fancy metaphor. I mean literally.

我沒有做什麼隱喻，就是字面上的意思

When you crash into one of those big old green tube things in Mario Kart, gotta press B and reverse a little.

當你玩瑪莉兄弟時撞上綠水管，按B可以倒退一點點

And then you can keep going.

然後你就可以繼續走了

Even though I know all that, still have so many unanswered questions, like

雖然我知道這些，還是有很多問題沒解決

Did they name the tree after the palm,

他們是以棕櫚命名那棵樹嗎

Or the palm after the tree? Did Delilah ever tell that guy what it was like in New York City?

還是以樹命名棕櫚？ Delilah有告訴那個人紐約市是什麼樣子嗎？

Of course the greatest question of all

而當然最大的問題就是

What is the meaning of life?

生命的意義是什麼？

Cereal.

是麥片

I mean it don't taste that good.

我的意思是它的味道不太好

It's not the healthiest cereal around.

也不是最健康的麥片

It's just there.

它只是剛好在那裡

Yeah, life is still a cereal cuz life is still surreal.

是啊，生命就像麥片，因為生命太不真實 (註：cereal跟surreal諧音)

(Samuel L. Jackson)

(山謬傑克森)

In order to act like Samuel L.Jackson, all you have to do is to talk like you're in a club or at a concert or any places that's really loud where you have to shout.

要演得像山繆傑克森，你只要說話大聲，像是在夜店裡、演唱會上，或其他吵雜的地方，讓你不得不用吼的

Why are you stopping, Mr. Cruz?

庫茲，你為什麼停下來了？ (註：此段參考電影「卡特教頭」)

Do you want to be a part of this team?

你想成為隊上的一份子嗎？

Yes, coach!

是的，教練！

And now I'm asking you one last time, Mr. Cruz.

庫茲，現在我要問你最後一次

What is in your wallet?

你皮夾裡有什麼？

What?

蛤？

You got a hear problem, Mr. Cruz?

你聽力有問題嗎？庫茲

I said what is in your wallet!

我說你皮夾裡有什麼

I don't know. Cash?

我不知道，現金嗎？

Well guess, Mr. Cruz. That's a hundred more pushups.

猜得真好！再做一百個伏地挺身

I got pictures?

我有照片？

Let's make that a thousand.

做一千個吧

Some gum?

口香糖？

Ten thousand pushups, Mr. Cruz.

一萬個伏地挺身！

Cards! I have credit cards.

卡！我有信用卡

Okay, what kind of card is that?

很好，哪一家的卡？

It ain't that hard, Mr. Cruz.

沒那麼難吧，庫茲

I..I..

我...

What kind of card do you have, Mr. Cruz? What is in your wallet?

到底是哪一家的卡，庫茲？你皮夾裡到底是什麼？

Visa?

Visa卡？

Get your way as back on the ground and give me a hundred thousand!

回去你原來的位置，給我十萬個伏地挺身！

A hundred thousand with Capital One!

十萬....用Capital One！(註：Capital One是山謬傑克森代言的信用卡公司)

Capital One, the xxxx in your own wallet!

Capital One，就在你的皮夾裡

(Leonardo DiCaprio)

(李奧納多狄卡皮歐)

Acting like Leonardo DiCaprio is really difficult because of all the different characters he plays.

要演得像李奧納多很困難，因為他演的角色都非常不一樣

However, there's one similar role that he plays every single year.

但是，他每年都會扮演這個角色

And in order to act like that, all you have to do is to start nodding your head, press your lips together and begin clapping.

要演得像那個角色，你只要點點頭，抿抿嘴，然後開始鼓掌

And the Oscar for the Best Actor goes to Matthew McConaughey.

奧斯卡最佳男主角得獎的是，馬修麥康納

(Every Horror Movie)

(每個恐怖片)

Normally when you're scared of or frightened of something, you move really quickly.

一般來說，當你很害怕某個東西時，你會移動得很快

But every horror movie actor knows that it's the complete opposite of what you wanna do.

但恐怖片演員都知道，這跟你想做的完全相反

In order to act like a horror movie actor, all you have to do is to move in slow motion when something frightens you.

要演得像恐怖片演員，當你被嚇到時，只要慢動作移動就好了

It's just you, Marley.

Marley，原來是你

It's just shoes

原來只是鞋子

Oh my god, I'm just gonna go kill someone else already.

老天，我都想去殺別人算了

You're so damn slow! God!

你也太慢了！天哪

(Every drama movie actor)

(每個劇情片演員)

Every drama movie actor knows that if you wanna look really sad, look out a window.

劇情片演員都知道，如果你想要看起來很悲傷，往窗外看吧

(Every sci-fi movie actor)

(每個科幻片演員)

You don't actually have to know anything for this one.

你不用真的知道關於科幻片演員的什麼事

You don't even need to know your lines.

你更不用知道你的台詞

Just come up with the combination of the scariest and the most dangerous things you can think of.

只要想出一個結合最駭人和最危險的事的劇情就好

And then have an editor put it in for you with really good effects.

然後請個剪輯師幫你加些超棒的特效

So you're saying that the machine fell in mount volcano, and it's gonna erupt at any second?

所以你是說機器掉進了火山，隨時可能噴發？

Yes. I'm afraid this time it's not just gonna be molten lava erupting.

是的，恐怕這次不只是熔岩噴發這麼簡單

What else is there?

還有什麼？

Lasers

雷射

Laser Volcano only on sci-fi.

雷射火山，只在科幻電影

So you're saying all the animals...they've been sucked into the sky?

所以你是說所有動物，牠們都被吸進了天空？

Yes. And I'm afraid this time when storm hits, it's not just gonna be rain.

是的，恐怕這次風雨來襲，不只是下雨這麼簡單

What do you mean?

你的意思是？

It's literally gonna rain....cats and dogs.

字面上的意思，這次會下....貓跟狗 (註：rain cats and dogs是俚語，下大雨的意思)

The Reign of Cats and Dogs only on sci-fi.

貓狗帝國，只在科幻電影

So you're saying a tornado that's forming in the ocean is heading towards us?

所以你是說龍捲風在海上形成，然後朝我們撲來？

Yes. I'm afraid this tornado is so big that it's gonna suck up man-eating sharks.

是的，恐怕這次的龍捲風大到會把食人鯊魚都捲進去

It's not gonna just be a normal tornado.

這不只是一般龍捲風這麼簡單

It's gonna be.... a "sharknado".

它會是....鯊捲風

Wait, if a tornado is forming in the ocean, isn't that just a hurricane?

等等，如果龍捲風在海上形成，這不是應該叫颶風嗎？

No I mean, tornadoes can form over water too, right?

我的意思是，龍捲風應該也可以在水上形成，對吧？

Not sure. I know hurricanes do.

不確定，我知道颶風可以

Then should we just call it "Shark Hurricane"?

那我們應該叫它「鯊魚颶風」嗎？

Yeah, but that doesn't sound as good as Sharknado.

對，但那聽起來沒有「鯊捲風」好聽

Yah, but I mean just to be safe.

對啊，但是保險起見

I think we're thinking too much into this.

我覺得我們想太多了

Yah, this is the sci-fi network.

沒錯，這是科幻頻道

We don't have to know real science for this, right?

我們不用知道真的科學，對吧？

Sci-fi Network.

科幻頻道

Our science may not be accurate but at least we have good effects.

我們的科學可能不精確，但至少我們有很棒的特效

So I know what you're thinking.

我知道你在想什麼

That was nothing like how those actors act.

那根本不像那些演員所演的

In fact, that wasn't even good acting.

其實那根本不是好演技

That's because you used to see these people in movies.

那是因為你都是在電影片段裡才看到這些演員

And if we would put all these stuff you just saw in the form of a movie, see how perfect the acting actually was.

如果我們把你剛剛看到的這些製作成一部電影，你就知道這些演法有多完美

Sometimes you gotta go back to actually move forward.

有時候要前進就必須先後退

Even though I know all that, still have so many unanswered questions.

雖然我知道這些，還是有很多問題沒解決

What does it even matter?

那又有什麼關係？

I don't know, okay? Why don't you ask the monkey over here?

我不知道，好嗎？你怎麼不問問那邊的猴子？

What?

蛤？

You got a hear problem, Mr. Cruz?

你聽力有問題嗎，庫茲？

Yes, coach.

是的，教練

Oh my god, it's terrible.

天哪，好可怕

It's like a drug to me.

(妳的氣味) 像藥一樣讓我如此著迷

What do you mean?

你的意思是？

It's like a drug to me.

像藥一樣讓我如此著迷

What else is there?

還有什麼？

shining, shimmering, splendid

一個閃亮輝煌的世界

Listen to me! You have to get out of here!

聽我說！你必須離開這裡！

Get down!

趴下！

Get your way back on the ground

回去你原本的位置

Cuz life is still surreal.

因為生命太不真實

Okay, yeah, that still sucks.

好吧，沒錯，還是很爛

So thank you guys again so much for watching.

謝謝你們觀看這影片

You want to see blueprints behind the scenes, so going to the left.