Name: 【TED】為何我們都需要情緒急救 Guy Winch: The case for emotional hygiene
Uploaded: 2015-03-09T16:00:08.000Z
Duration: 17 min 29 s

我和我的雙胞胎哥哥一起長大，

程度副詞

Now, one thing about being a twin  is that it makes you an expert

要知道，做為雙胞胎，你很快就在某件事上成為專家，

If his cookie was even slightly bigger  than my cookie, I had questions.

如果他的餅乾比我的大，哪怕只是一丁點，我就會質疑。

When I became a psychologist, I began to notice favoritism of a different kind,

當我成為一名心理學家，我開始注意到另一種偏愛，

and that is how much more we value the body than we do the mind.

那就是我們對自己的身體比精神更為珍視。

I spent nine years at university earning my doctorate in psychology,

我花了九年時間獲得心理學博士學位，

and I can't tell you how many people  look at my business card and say,

但不知道有多少人會看了我的名片就說：

"Oh, a psychologist.  So not a real doctor,"

「哦，是個心理學家，原來不是真正的醫生。」

好像我的名片上就該這樣註明：

「只是心理醫生（不是真正的醫生）沒錯，很讓人失望」（笑聲）

This favoritism we show the body  over the mind, I see it everywhere.

這種對身體多過精神的偏愛隨處可見。

and their five-year-old was getting ready for bed.

他們五歲的小孩正準備上床睡覺。

He was standing on a stool  by the sink brushing his teeth,

他站在小凳子上，在洗手盤邊刷牙，

when he slipped, and scratched his leg  on the stool when he fell.

然後他滑倒了，摔到的時候刮傷了他的腿。

He cried for a minute,  but then he got back up,

got back on the stool, and reached out for a box of Band-Aids to put one on his cut.

站回小凳子上，拿了一個 OK 蹦貼在自己的傷口上。

Now, this kid could barely  tie his shoelaces,

but he knew you have to cover a cut, so it doesn't become infected,

但他都知道要保護傷口以免感染，

and you have to care for your teeth by brushing twice a day.

同時還要一天刷兩次牙來保護牙齒。

We all know how to maintain our physical health

我們都知道怎樣保持身體的健康，

and how to practice dental hygiene, right?

還有怎樣保持牙齒衛生，對嗎？

We've known it since we were five years old.

我們從五歲起就知道這些東西了。

But what do we know about maintaining our psychological health?

但是我們知道怎樣保持精神上的健康嗎？

What do we teach our children about emotional hygiene?

How is it that we spend more time taking care of our teeth

為什麽我們花在照顧牙齒上的時間

比花在關注精神健康的時間還多呢？

Why is it that our physical health is so much more important to us

We sustain psychological injuries even more often than we do physical ones,

我們承受心理上的傷害比身體上的多得多，

injuries like failure or rejection or loneliness.

And they can also get worse if we ignore them,

如果我們忽視它們，情況也可能惡化，

and they can impact our lives in dramatic ways.

它們同樣會給我們的生活帶來重大的影響。

And yet, even though there are  scientifically proven techniques

然而，雖然有科學證實的療法來幫助我們治療這些心理上的傷害，

we could use to treat these kinds of psychological injuries,

我們甚至都沒意識到我們應該採取行動。

It doesn't even occur to us  that we should.

「哦，你感到憂鬱嗎？別去想了，那都在你腦袋裡面。」

"Oh, you're feeling depressed? Just shake it off; it's all in your head."

你能想像對一個斷了腿的人說這樣的話嗎？

Can you imagine saying that to somebody with a broken leg:

「哦，走走就好了，都在你腿上而已。」

"Oh, just walk it off; it's all in your leg."

我們應該消除這種對身體和精神健康的區別對待。

It is time we closed the gap between our physical and our psychological health.

說起雙胞胎，我哥哥也是個心理醫生。

Speaking of which,  my brother is also a psychologist.

事實上，我這輩子經歷過的最困難的事

In fact, the hardest thing  I've ever done in my life

is move across the Atlantic  to New York City

那是我們倆這輩子第一次分隔兩地，

We were apart then for the first time in our lives,

這個分離對我倆來說都很殘酷。

and the separation was  brutal for both of us.

But while he remained among family and friends,

but international phone calls were really expensive then

and we could only afford to speak for five minutes a week.

那是我們第一次不能在一起過生日。

it was the first we wouldn't be spending together.

我們決定奢侈一回，那個星期我們要聊十分鐘。

We decide to splurge, and that week we would talk for 10 minutes.

那天早上，我一直在房間裡踱步，等著我哥哥給我打過來 －

I spent the morning pacing around my room, waiting for him to call --

and waiting and waiting,  but the phone didn't ring.

「好吧，他一定是和朋友在一起，他晚點兒就會打來的。」

"Ok, he's out with friends,  he will call later."

我開始意識到，離開十個多月以後，

And I began to realize that after  being away for over 10 months,

he no longer missed me  the way I missed him.

但那一晚是我一生中最傷心，最漫長的一晚。

but that night was one of the saddest and longest nights of my life.

我瞅了一眼電話，意識到自己把電話線踹飛了，

I glanced down at the phone, and  I realized I had kicked it off the hook

我剛把電話插回接口，一秒鐘之後電話就響了。

I put the phone back on the receiver, and it rang a second later,

是我哥哥打來的，他可氣壞了。

and it was my brother, and, boy, was he pissed.

那也是他一生中最傷心漫長的一夜。

It was the saddest and longest  night of his life as well.

當我跟他解釋事情的經過，他說：

Now I tried to explain what happened, but he said,

「我真不明白。如果你意識到我沒給你打電話，

"I don't understand.  If you saw I wasn't calling you,

why didn't you just pick up  the phone and call me?"

他說的對。我為什麽沒有打給他呢？

我當時無法解釋，但我現在明白了，

I didn't have an answer then, but I do today,

Loneliness creates a deep psychological wound,

扭曲我們的感知能力，剝奪我們的思考能力。

one that distorts our perceptions and scrambles our thinking.

它使我們以為身邊的人不再在乎我們。

It makes us believe that those around us care much less than they actually do.

because why set yourself up for rejection and heartache

when your heart is already aching more than you can stand?

我那個時候被孤獨緊緊包裹著，

I was in the grips of real  loneliness back then,

但我總和別人在一起，我自己都沒意識到。

but I was surrounded by people all day, so it never occurred to me.

But loneliness is defined  purely subjectively.