So,

some of you are probably aware

that my best friend has,

um,

been kidnapped and um there’s really, absolutely nothing that any of us can do about it.

But instead of sitting around and panicking, I decided to make myself useful.

There’s a lot to clean.

So, that’s done.

Oh. I should go check on the brownies.

[Perry leaves]

[Later]

[Laura wakes up]

Good morning, Laura.

It’s 6 AM.

I know.

But I ran out of things to clean, so I thought it was time we have a little talk.

Brownie?

Uh, thanks.

Sorry, I keep dreaming there’s this giant cat thing sleeping on the floor.

Oh, that’s probably just Carmilla.

Carmilla. Carmilla.

Ugh. What?

Want a brownie?

Seriously?

I was just getting to sleep.

Did you vacuum around me?

Okay. So now that you’re both awake, I think it’s time that we had a floor meeting.

So we’re in hell now.

Seems so.

Brownies are good.

The two of you can be flip all you like, but the fact remains that LaFontaine is missing

and we need to start doing something about it right now.

So, first,

I think we need to put this thing on some kind of delay so that we aren’t just giving ourselves away if something evil is watching.

Second,

are we calling the police?

Possibly hiring a private investigator?

Mercenaries? Bloodthirsty killers for hire? We can do that, right?

We went over all of this with Betty.

The police won’t come unless campus security calls them and no private investigator will even set foot on this campus,

Which,

really is an indication,

and I don’t even know how you go about finding

mercenaries.

But we’ll hit the book. There’s supposed to be something in there.

In the meantime, I think I saw some mould behind the toilets, you could…

Okay.

[Perry goes into the bathroom]

And now for our daring daylight escape?

And now for hitting the book.

She might be traumatized, but she isn’t wrong.

[Hitting the book/cleaning montage]

[Perry bumps into Carmilla who spills blood on the book]

Ugh, goddammit.

Oh, I’m sorry I-I-I didn’t mean…

Is that new stuff appearing on the book because you spilt blood on it?

Right, of course it is.

It’s an entry from something called

Lophiiformes.

The light that devours. An ancient evil that demands…

I’m not sure about the symbol there…

five,

shocker, virgins every twenty years.

Uh, once victims are marked their world narrows to celebration.

It likes party girls. That’s it! That’s our thing! So, how do we stop it?

Uh,

old as the ocean’s depths, the light that betrays all,

blah blah blah blah, draws the devoured to it and consumes

their minds, which increases the light

and draws in more of the devoured.

So, it’s absorbing their minds and using the energy to draw more people in.

And if Ell is reaching out to us then…

They’re conscious in there.

God, this just gets creepier and creepier.

Word.

[Lafontaine in the doorway]

Hey. Why are we all freaking out?

Oh, you’re back! You’re back! You’re alright.

What do you mean I’m back? I didn’t go anywhere.

Did I… go somewhere?