[growling]

-I'll show you to your coffin room.

-What's she doing here?

-I've asked Erin to stay with us.

-This half-fang?

Why?

-She saved Ingrid's life.

-You're really not selling her.

-She's staying whether you like it or not.

-My castle, my rules.

[growling]

Renfield!

Chuck her bag out.

-Yes, sir.

-Times have changed, and I say Erin stays.

-And I say she goes.

-Don't I get a vote?

-No.

-Yes.

Listen to Ingrid.

-I don't want her.

-You don't get a vote.

-You can't have two queen bees in a hive.

It would be a fight to the death.

[coughing]

-My money's on the half-fang.

-I will not have fighting in this house.

Erin is staying, and you two will leave her alone.

-Look, I don't want to cause a rift

between you and your family.

I can look after myself.

-Not if the Slayers Guild catch you.

Ever since Ingrid's attack on Stokely,

they've been staking first and asking questions later.

Dad will be fine.

At least stay until you get your full powers.

There's so much you need to learn.

-All right, I'll stay.

'Til I'm ready.

Thanks, Vlad.

I'll just get the rest of my stuff.

-Quickly.

That was the last of the serum.

-So what now?

Can't exactly ask the Slayers Guild for more.

We're on our own, Sis.

You know what they'd do to me if they knew.

-It's OK.

I've got a plan.

-Does it involve a large wooden pointy thing?

We have to talk about this.

I was bitten.

We both know what that means.

And when the time comes, you know what has to be done.

-(TEARFULLY) I told you I'm going to cure you.

If I can wipe out the bloodline that infected you,

the curse will be lifted.

-You can't wipe out the Draculas.

-Ever since Ingrid bit you, she's

been getting weaker and weaker.

All I need is one chance to get close to her.

-And how do you plan to do that?

-They've just invited me to live with them.

-You can't live with vampires.

You're a vegetarian.

-And a trained slayer.

-With a pulse.

-I've been using stasis spray, remember?

It blocks out my heartbeat and my breathing and my scent.

They'll think I'm a newly-bitten half-fang.

-You can't.

-The serum's working.

You rest.

I'll be OK.

I'll let them get used to me.

And just when they think they're safe, I'll strike.

[choking]

VLAD: Ingrid?

[vacuum cleaner roaring]

-I-- I've never seen anything like this before.

I just-- I don't know what to do.

-Maybe I can help.

I could take care of Ingrid if you'd like me to.

-Really?

-We need to make her more comfortable.

See if you can find whatever us vampires like.

-I know this vampire stuff seems strange at first,

but you'll get used to it.

OK, I'm on it.

Thanks, Erin.

-She's a vampire.

It's not like killing a human.

[gasping]

-Vlad!

-What's wrong?

-She's breathing.

-Breathing?

Ingrid.

Ingrid!

[choking]

[vacuum cleaner roaring]

-Her pulse.

Dad?

Dad!

-What now?

-Ingrid's getting worse.

-Do let me know when she crumbles to dust.

-Seriously.

She's breathing and she's got a pulse.

We need to do something to cool her down.

-Looks like an advanced blood infection.

It's a temporary thing.

All her vampire abilities are shutting down.

No, no, no, but this is good news.

-What?

-It's incurable.

She'll be gone within a week.

-Oh, but there must be something we can do.

-To cure a vampire illness, you'll need a specialist

in the dark arts-- an alchemist, someone who's

dared to probe into the dark places,

no matter how twisted and wrong.

-Renfield.

He means Renfield.

-Sir?

-Mistress Ingrid is very ill.

-Oh.

Would she like a cup of tea?

[sighing]

-A little bit iller than that.

It's a shame.

I'm going to have to bring his memory back.

-Sir?

-Look into my eyes.

-I thought you said you couldn't do that.

-I lied.

When I click my fingers--

-For four years, this squeaky-clean

imbecile has been tottering around--

-Do you want him back or not?

You will open your eyes, and you will

see things as they really are.

And you will remember.

-Did it work?

-Oh, look!

Cockroach.

A cockroach!

[chortling]

-Ugh.

-Hmm.

Oh, it's off.

-The old Renfield's back.

-Well, this calls for a celebration.

Renfield, open a bottle of someone red and full-bodied.

-Yes, master.

-Not yet.

Ingrid's more important.

-Since when?

[ingrid wheezing]

-Oh, very well.

Do what you must.

-Yes, master.

-And your insolence needs correcting.

[giggling]

[loud burp]

-Mr. Count, please don't do that.

Are you trying to give me a heart attack?

-Oh.

Don't joke about such matters.

-So what's the problem?

-You said Vlad needed more confidence in school.

I've hired a private tutor.

And, well, I've worked out a time table.

Vlad will only need to miss your most stupid, pointless classes.

-Sport, Personal and Social Development, Home Economics.

These subjects aren't stupid or pointless.

-Well, I hardly think Vlad need concern himself with-- cookery.

-I thought we had an understanding.

-Oh, we do.

-Vlad may be your son, but he is my student.

And in my school, he must do things my way.

-Of course.

But on this occasion, I suggest you make an exception.

-I'm sorry.

Vlad must follow the rules like everyone else.

-Really?

-I'm afraid we'll have to agree to disagree.

-Miss McCauley, are you sure?

Hmm?

-Quite sure.

Thank you.

-Fascinating.

I'm disappointed in you, Vlad.

-You always are.

-First Ingrid, then the half-fang, and now Renfield.

You lack discipline.

You're insubordinate.

And worst of all, you never listen to me.

-You never listen to me.

-I don't need to.

I know what's good for you.

And like it or not, you have to learn

in order to fulfill your potential.

That's why I've arranged a tutor for you.

-Whew.

OK.

I'm ready.

You be the tutor.

-You want me to improvise?

-Just come over here.

-All right.

But I'm really not sure of my motivation.

Ah.

This is like the cage which trapped your father.

-Actually, it is that one, with modifications.

-An excellent booby trap.

Of course, it is ineffective against hell hounds.

-One wrong move, and that tutor is going to be toast.

Show time.

[knocking]

[door creaking open]

-Go on, open it.

I wonder who they've sent.

-Not exactly what I was expecting.

-Good evening, Count Dracula.

And you must be Vladimir.

I'm Goody McEldrich.

-We are honored, madam.

-Are we?

-Goody McEldrich is infamous.

-You're talking to Transylvania's

greatest expert in shape-shifting.

-So why'd you choose that one?

[SNICKERING

Why'd you choose--

-You were right to call upon me.

This boy needs discipline.

-Yes.

I'm afraid I've been too soft with the lad.

-You certainly have.

I smell breather.

-Oh, that'd be Renfield.

-The Chosen One should not harbor breathers in his lair.

The only good breather is a drained breather.

-Actually, I quite like them.

-We'll soon cure you of that.

Let the training begin.

-Good luck, Vladdy.

Oh, and by the way, I took the liberty

of disabling your little booby trap.

-Dad, I--

-I'm waiting.

-Off you go, Vlad.

-You too, Count Dracula.

His un-vampiric behavior is your fault.

You need to be taught a lesson in parenting.

[roaring]

-(CHUCKLING) Put them away.

-Hmm?

-Boys who answer back get put on the naughty step.

-What?

-She sounds just like my old nanny Clontarf.

-Fingers on fangs!

Now who's going to tell me where the training room is?

Lesson One the relationship between us and them.

Now, breathers have feelings just like us.

They experience pain just as we do.

Which is why it's so much fun to play with your food.

-I hope you're paying attention, Vlad.

-What did I say about fingers on fangs?

-I was just speaking-- ow.

-Silence.

Don't make me use this again.

-You can't just go around hitting people.

-You're right.

The next time one of you is naughty,

I shall cut off a limb.

-What?

-Oh, don't be such a baby.

Where do you keep all your weapons?

-Weapons/

-Your-- your swords, your axes.

-Over here.

Please.

-Over here?