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[theme music]
-Renfield, is that you?
If I catch you parading around in my cape again,
there'll be trouble.
Well, I wonder where he could be hiding.
[screams]
-What's the matter, master?
What's wrong?
-Nothing's wrong, you fool.
Get off!
-Was it another one of your nightmares?
-What?
Don't be ridiculous.
Count Dracula does not have nightmares.
-Was it the one where Magda gets staked and her hideous, evil
ghost comes back to haunt you?
-Mention that again and I will remove your privileges.
-I don't have any privileges.
-Then I shall find something else to remove.
-I'm telling you, Vlad.
Tonight will go down in history as the greatest Halloween ever.
-Yeah, about that--
-A spooky old castle, a family of real vampires.
I mean, what more could we ask for?
I bet you've got some really scary stuff planned, right?
-Well actually--
-I admit I've pulled some legendary Halloween
stunts before.
But me and you together, think of the mayhem we could cause.
-I'm sorry, Robin.
I'm going to the school party.
-What?
-Everyone else is going.
-We're not everyone else, Vlad.
We're different.
People may think we're freaks, but tonight we're not.
At Halloween we rule.
-But I don't want to rule.
I wan to fit in.
-So I thought maybe we
Cook some food.
Watch some telly.
Dad?
-Hm?
Whatever you think.
Just can't shake this feeling that I've forgotten something.
-Don't know why.
Nothing special about tonight.
-Hold still.
It keeps on tearing off.
-This is stupid.
I don't want to go dressed as a loo roll.
-You're supposed to be a mummy.
-Got it.
Why don't you go as a vampire?
What was I thinking?
Where would you get a vampire costume at this hour?
And on Halloween?
-Oh, is it Halloween?
-Shh!
I don't want dad to know.
-Why not?
-Halloween affects dad like a lit match
at a firework factory.
-Even a sausage through the heart wouldn't subdue him.
-You mean a stake.
-Oh, yes.
You see the Count has banned me from using that word.
That word and bunfight.
-Sunlight.
-Mm-hmm.
Bunfight and sausage.
-Great.
We can't even talk about it.
This is the worst Halloween ever.
-Look, dad's got a whole trunk full of old clothes
stashed up in the attic.
I bet I could find some great scary outfits for the party.
Better than this anyway.
-Real vampire clothes?
Are they black?
-Oh wow.
Spooky.
-Exactly.
It's weird and very dangerous.
So don't touch anything.
-There aren't any spiders, are there?
-Probably.
Why?
-Just starting, because Robin's terrified of them.
Aren't you, Robin?
Robin?
Robin?
-Boo!
-Idiot!
This attic's awesome.
Wow, what's this?
-I don't know, and I don't want to know.
Put it back.
-Hieroglyphics.
-Chloe, I don't think a 10 year old girl can
translate complex Egyptian hiero--
-Danger.
Do not open.
Run, hide.
-I told you not to touch anything.
-Chill out, will you?
It's just a biscuit tin.
What's the worst that can happen?
-That.
-I told you not to open it.
Now look what you've done.
-What's it say?
-Have we won a holiday?
-No, Robin.
We've awoken an ancient curse.
-All day I've sensed impending evil.
And now I can smell it.
-It's probably those eggs.
-Perhaps.
What's the date?
-It's the, um, the Friday.
-No, Jonathan, the date.
-It's, uh, the um--
-Well?
-Trick or treat!
-Ahh!
Get back, bloodsuckers.
Don't force me to use this.
WOMAN: What on earth are you doing?
-No, I thought that they were-- Nothing.
-Come away form there, children.
That man's not very well.
Trick or treat, of course.
You know what this means, Jonathan?
-Only five days till bonfire night?
-It's Halloween.
-A terrible curse on you and your family, foul fiends.
From midnight tonight you will be stripped or your evil powers
and reduced to the status of mere mortal breathers, ha ha.
-Oh great.
How am I going to explain this?
Sorry dad, but we've accidentally
awoken an ancient curse, and we're all
going to be turned into normal living-- hang on.
Normal.
Robin, you're a genius.
-I am?
-Don't you know what this means?
I'm going to have a normal family.
-We can go on camping trips together.
-Barbecues in the summer.
-Family bike rides.
-But think of what you're going to lose.
-What, fangs and a dad who turns into a bat?
Who's going to miss that?
-Me.
-Oh.
-Oh?
What do you mean oh?
-Come here.
CHLOE: If three screams are heard from your family
after sunset tonight, you'll be freed from the curse.
-But I don't want to be freed.
I like the curse.
CHLOE: The pyramid will turn with each scream.
If it gets to three, that's it.
Game over.
-Like that's gonna happen.
Vampires aren't scared of anything .
-Ahh!
-Much.
-You do that in an hour, and you're in big trouble.
-Great.
My only chance to be normal, and I've
got to stop people screaming at Halloween.
-At least your dad doesn't know it's Halloween.
[MUSIC - BOBBY (BORIS) PICKETT AND THE CRYPT-KICKERS,
"THE MONSTER MASH"]
-Oh, no.
-Oh, wicked.
-Think he remembered.
-Ah Vlad!
There you are.
Renfield, take a break.
-Ah, thank you master.
-That's long enough.
Back to work.
VLAD: What's going on?
-It's Christmas.
What does it look like?
Can't you feel the pride stirring in your chest?
Tonight we celebrate our vampire heritage.
Hundreds of years of history and culture.
-I had no idea you breathers could be so tasteful.
-Good.
You have fun tonight.
Unfortunately, we've got other plans.
ROBIN: Nothing that can't easily be dropped.
-Splendid!
The bloodletting-- the fun begins
at six when the sun has set. ROBIN: Should be a scream.
-I saw fangs and a cape.
It was an easy mistake to make.
JONATHAN: Dad, you nearly whisked an 8 year old.
-I was acting on instinct, son.
VAN HELSING: As a vampire slayer,
I've developed finely tuned senses.
-Dad.
VAN HELSING: Heightened awareness
that warns me when trouble is brewing.
-Dad.
VAN HELSING: And at Halloween.
It's at its strongest.
Almost like a sixth sense.
-Dad, your trousers are on fire.
-Ahh!
-Well spotted, son.
-That's it.
You're definitely staying in tonight.
-Dad?
THE COUNT: Not now, Ingrid.
Can't you see I'm engaged in heavy manual labor?
Two inches lower, Renfield.
INGRID: I need a costume for the school party.
-Why?
What happened to that dress thing?
-Ruined.
I found it in Renfield's wardrobe
with all the stitching burst.
-Well there's a simple solution to this.
You'll have to get a job.
-Me, work?
-It'd do you good to get out of the castle.
You can be someone else's problem.
-Why can't Vlad get a job?
INGRID: Because he has one already.
Heir to my throne.
Oh dear.
Well that's a day's wages you owe me.
And you can forget about going to any parties until I get it.
-The night starts here.
-Just six short hours and you'll be normal.
-I better go home and let mum and dad know what we're doing.
Then we can figure out how to make your dad scream.
-You mean stop him scream?
-That's what I said, wasn't it?
-Zoltan, I need your advice.
I've got this problem.
-Bathe it in warm water and keep it bandaged overnight.
That works for me.
-No, it's should you do what's better for yourself,
or what's better for your friends?
-Most would say you should put the well
being of others before your own.
Look at me.
I've never selfish, now I'm stuffed,
ignored, mounted on wheels.
-Thanks, Zoltan.
-Glad to be of assistance.
-One more thing.
Do you know if the count's scared of anything?
Something that might make him scream?
-Well, only golf balls.
Golf balls
ZOLTAN: Of course.
Well he is a vampire.
Golf balls
[doorbell rings]
-Trick or treat!
-Trick.
-What?
-You don't know what you're doing, do you?
There's no point in trick or treating
if you haven't got any really good tricks.
-Like what?
-Well fortunately, you've come to the right person.
-Right.
Let the evil games commence.
-Dad, just in time.
-You can a start on the sky.
-What is the meaning of this?
This is not scary Halloween fun.
-It is scary.
What if we got to the end and found
there was a piece missing.
-I want to play games that chill to the very core of a man's
being.
-Charades?
-I'm not happy about leaving you on your own tonight.
You know how you get at Halloween.
-I'm going to Vlad's.
Anyway, you can trust me.
-That's what you said last year.
We still haven't finished re-plastering.
-That wasn't my fault.
Pumpkins aren't supposed to explode.
ROBIN'S FATHER: And the year before?
-Like the doctor said, that broomstick
was an accident waiting to happen.
[doorbell rings]
-Your father and I have looked forward
this slide evening for weeks.
I don't want it ruined by more of your silly Halloween antics.
-You little monsters.
-I'm so sorry.
I don't what came over them.
You apologize.
-It was him.
He told us to do it.
-Right, I've called the agency.
The babysitter will be here soon.
You're to do what she tells you.
You behave yourself, understand?
-You can't do this to me.
-If you behave like a child, Robin,
then you get treated like one.
-I've got to go back to Vlad's. It's a matter of life and death.
-Well you should have though of that
before you started stirring up trouble.
-Sorry we can't stay and change your nappies, Robin.
-We've got a Halloween party to go to.
-Shut it, tweedle-dummies.
-Shh!
Not another word.
-You two let the babysitter in and pay her.
We'll pick Chloe up on the way home.
-And hen we get back, I want to see
this house exactly as we left it.
No tomfoolery.
And no
-Shenanigans.
-Shenanigans.
And no--
-Hijinks.
-Hijinks of any sort.
-What was that?
-Me putting the cook down.
-This time, Jonner.
But the next it could be a vampire breaking
in trying to suck our blood.
We've got to stop them.
-Why don't you leave them and come watch some TV?
TELEVISION: And now it's time to hide behind your sofas
as we kick off our Halloween mumbo movie night with a 1931
classic-- Strong winds it's supposed to give
your young trees some support by taking a big wooden stake
and hammering it into the soil.
It's a bit stiff.
The female mosquito possesses a highly serrated proboscis,
which it uses to pierce the skin of humans
and drain them of their blood.
-So I got this babysitting job.
And guess who my first baby is?
ROBIN'S BROTHER: Robin's not in his room,
and his window's open.
The little snake must have done a run--
INGRID: You've let him escape?
You fools.
-Oh well.
That's his funeral.
Come on, Ingrid.
Let's go party.
-Nobody move!
I need money.
And that means somebody is going to get babysat.
If there's no one else around, it'll have to be you two.
-You're joking.
-Prop forwards do not get babysat.
-Sit.
-How's it going?
Anyone scream yet?
-No, thank goodness.
-Yeah.
-Well, now that we're all assembled,
we should play a proper Halloween game, apple bobbing.
-Oh great.
Sounds harmless.
THE COUNT: Instead of apples, we shall
be bobbing for giant fish eyes.
-Master, this one's staring at me.
-Renfield!
Renfield, are you OK?
-Yes, thank you, master.
Thank you.
-And how about now?
-And then, from the window behind them,
they hear the tap, tap, tap noise.
So if you ever hear that sound and you
want to keep your head attached to your neck,
then you'd better run.
Run as fast as you--
[knocking]
-What was that?
Suckers.
-We had you shaking like a little girl.
Ian, you can let go of my hand now.
-I'm bored.
I mean can't someone liven things up a bit?
What is this?
-Stokely Halloween tradition.
The throwing of a golf ball ceremony.
-Splendid.
-Ah, yes.
-I thought you said golf balls made him scream.
-Uh, yes.
But what I actually meant was G-A-R-L-I-C.
-Garlic.
The count's forbidden you from saying that.
-Mh-hmm.
Sausages, bunfight, and golf balls.
-Think I might take the dog for a walk.
-OK.
Dog?
-What are you doing?
Give me that key.
-No, this is for your own good.
-What about those poor innocent people out there?
Their lives are in mortal danger.
-Not while your in here, they're not.
-So how do you think vampires and peasants again?
-Right, well the peasants must hide around the castle,
and then the vampires, well, they find and bite them.
-What a surprise.
-I'm in.
Who wants to be on my team?
CHLOE: OK.
-Chloe?
-But to make it fair the first time we should be the vampires,
and you and your dad can go and hide.
-Oh, right.
Yeah, sounds good.
I'm in.
-Well no, that's not how it works.
-Come on, dad.
We can work up an appetite.
-One, two, three, four.
Right,
-Right.
-Five, six, seven, eight.
-Well, go on then.
Aren't you going to hide?
-Are you kidding?
This should kill an hour or two.
-Truth or dare?
-Truth.
-Chicken.
OK> Who's the most popular, stylish,
and beautiful girl in school?
-OK.
We've decided.
-This is going so well.
I think I can feel a pulse already.
-Great.
-What, but-- no one screamed.
[scream]
-Jennifer Smith?
But she's plain, and dowdy, and her ears stick out.
-Only joking.
You should've seen your face.
-Do you know what happens to dogs who misbehave?
-Get off.
We won't pay you.
-You've got the money?
-Yeah, in the kitchen.
Mum gave it to us.
-Then why are we sitting around here?
Let's go to the party.
-But you need to costume.
It's not fancy dress.
-Really?
You mean that's not your real fur.
-Borrow something of mums.
She's got some pretty horrifying outfits.
CHLOE: It's OK.
It's only on scream.
-But it's not even nine o'clock yet.
Where's Robin?
-He left while you were lying on the floor
in the fetal position, master Vlad.
I think he's gone to give your father another golf ball.
Golf ball What you talking about?
-Well there was a bit of a misunderstanding.
Master Robin wanted to know if there was anything
that would make the Count scream.
And so naturally, the first thing I thought of
was golf balls.
-Garlic.
Of course, I didn't actually mean golf balls.
Well that would be ridiculous.
Just like I didn't actually mean sausages.
-Come out, come out wherever you are.
I know you're in here.
-Caught you.
Traitor.
-Vlad, I was just looking for the bathroom.
Nope.
Not in here.
Where did that come from?
-Some friend you are.
ROBIN: I'm just trying to do what any friend would.
Save you from a life of terminal boredom.
-No, you're not.
You're just thinking about yourself.
-Someone has to.
You're the only person that doesn't think I'm
a freak, Vlad.
No one else even talks to me.
And if you become normal, you won't either.
You'll be to busy going on stupid camping
trips and bike rides.
And I'll just be on my own again.
-Let's get rid of this before dad sees it.
If there's one thing that's going to make him scream,
it's garlic.
Was that?
And I just?
-Yep.
[scream]
[whistling]
-Come on, dad.
You've been in there for ages.
-This is terrible.
This is a disaster.
-What happened?
-It's OK, Vladdy.
I'm all right.
-What?
Oh, good.
-Never fear, master.
I'm here.
-Get off me, you imbecile.
You're too late.
-I'm sorry.
I heard you scream and I panicked.
-Scream?
Me?
Count Dracula does not scream.
-Well you do when you have that nightmare master.
-Shut up, Renfield.
-What nightmare?
-Oh, it's terrible.
It starts off with your mother being staked.
-Right, who's for a brisk night walk?
-And then a ghost comes back to haunt him.
A hideous vision of the bride of Dracula.
When she pulls back her veil, her eyes are cold and dead.
Her skin pale.
She raises her terrifying claws, her breath rancid.
Blood drops from her mouth.
And then she launches at his throat.
And that's about the point he screams and wakes up.
-Dad?
I've got your money.
I'm going to the party.
-What?
Oh, just leave it in my study.
What, what, what?
-Ah, he's biting.
-Thanks, Robin.
ROBIN: Only an hour till midnight.
This might be the last time I see as a vampire.
-Well, we'll still be friends even if I'm normal.
-Of course.
I mean, I probably won't come over to see you as often.
-Shove off.
Wait.
Here, you can have this.
I guess I won't be needing it anymore.
-Thanks.
-Look out!
He's got a sausage!
-Ahh!
-Uh, trick or treat.
VLAD: That's that then.
-Sorry, Vlad.
-You better get home.
ROBIN'S FATHER: What are you doing here?
We told you to stay at home.
-And what have you done to your hand?
I knew you couldn't be trusted.
-Expect to be grounded for the rest of your life, young man.
-See you tomorrow.
-Bye, Vlad.
Wait.
You're still going to need this.
-For now.
[theme music]
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小小吸血鬼 (Young Dracula - BBC Series - Season 1 Ep 12 'Halloscream')

2843 分類 收藏
yi 發佈於 2015 年 1 月 28 日
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