字幕列表 影片播放 列印英文字幕 -Sorry. Great tackle though, wasn't it? -Actually, it was a foul. You tackled me around the neck. -Oh. I'll never make the rugby team. -I'm surprised your father's allowing you to take part. -Hello. Favorite child, son and heir. -So you haven't asked him yet, have you? -I'm waited for the right moment. -(WHISPERING) This probably isn't it. -I thought a mob of peasants was trying to break into the castle. What's with all the noise? ZOLTAN: Master Vladimir wants to play a game with the breathers. THE COUNT: Oh. Like a see who can get the most screaming villagers on a spike kind of game? -No, dad. It's called rugby. THE COUNT: The rugby players huddle together, toss the ball around, and pat each other on the back for being good sports. Good sports. I didn't impale half of Wallachia, so you could be a good sport. -But all the other boys play rugby. Please let me try out for the team. THE COUNT: No. You mustn't play with your food. You'll spoil your appetite. VLAD: Please, Dad. Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please--- -No, no, no, no, no. This is not happening. -It's no good. Does he look like a rugby player to you? -Thanks, Chloe. I think. MR. BRANAGH: You know if he took off that cloak. Got a bit of sun on his face. He might look quite normal. ROBIN: Hello. I'm right here, Dad. -Oh, we're sorry, love. It's only because we care about you. -And yet, you want me to get my teeth knocked out. -Come on, Robin. You'll learn to love it. You're a Branagh after all. ROBIN: Read my lips, N-O way. -This is not up for discussion. You're playing rugby, and that's final. -Hey, cool rugby top. -No, it's not cool. My parents made me wear it. -They said I have to try out for the rugby team. -They want me to join in and look normal. -Those barbarians. Forcing their beloved child to turn against his own nature. A boy should be free to follow the desires pulsing in his heart. -Exactly, so can I play rugby, dad, please? -Absolutely not. ROBIN: Are you mad? Rugby's a horrible, brutal sport. -It is? -The teachers actually encourage the players to push each other in the mud. And then they huddle up close before they push the other team and stamp on their heads. -And my Vladimir wants to partake. Why didn't you tell me before? -I did. Wait. I can play? -Of course, you can. I'm proud of you, boy. At last, you're showing an interest in violence and cruelty. INGRID: I'm violent and cruel, Dad. Look. -Ow. THE COUNT: Ingrid, of course you are, but there's something very important you've overlooked. -What? -It's Vlad that I'm interested in. Finally, you're going to bring glory to the family name. -Whoa, Dad. Slow down. I may not get picked. -You shall triumph with my help, of course. I will teach you a few vampire tricks that never fail. -Yes. I can't wait. THE COUNT: Ingrid, Ingrid, Ingrid. When are you going to accept that you're a girl. You don't need to learn any tricks. Now go bother yourself with-- oh, I don't know, dusting skulls, polishing coffins, whatever. INGRID: You can't ignore me for the rest of my life. -Yes, I can, and I will. And then one day, your husband will ignore you instead. INGRID: We've been over this. I don't need a husband. -Of course, you do. Someone has to tell you what to do. -Wait a minute. Are you saying that once I married, you won't tell me what to do? -I won't even have to talk to you. -Fine. I'll go and get myself a husband then. THE COUNT: And you're getting that fixed, young lady. -What delusion of grandeur made you think I would pick you? You're pathetic, talentless, and your blood type doesn't go with anything. -Next. -Ugh. His hairline is all wrong. -Next. -Branagh. Ian Branagh. License to thrill. I've entitled this poem, "An Ode to Ingrid." [clears throat] I wandered lonely as a dog that hasn't found his owner yet. When all at once, I saw Ingrid, and I knew she would want a pet. -Groveling. Pathetic. I kind of like that. Write his name down. -Move on, loser. It's time for rock. (SINGING) It's about Ingrid. It's about Ingrid, baby. It's about Ingrid. -Great. More wailing. -(SINGING) It's about Ingrid. Yeah. -So when's the good bit? Write his name down. He's as ugly as the other one. FRIEND: Next. -Wait. I don't suppose either of you is any good at carpentry. -Why? -I broke a table at the castle, and someone needs to fix it. -Oh. I'm ace at woodwork. Well, quite talented. Average-ish. OK. I'm pants. -Next. -Hi, Ingrid. I know someone who can-- -I've told you a million times, Jonathan. I am never, ever going to go out with you. -Now, into the center. Go on. Right. Repeat it back to me. -I must not bite ears, kick shins, or elbow the other players. -Until? -Until I'm sure the referee can't see me. -Now, we're talking rugby. -But Dad, it's cheating. -I know. Isn't it fun? Right. Let's try some offensive play. I'll tackle. Renfield! -You two, try and block me. -Tackle me? -Ready. One, two, three-- Go! -Mommy! Oh. -For the dead travel fast as they say in my homeland. I know. I know I-- I make it look so easy. ROBIN: That was brilliant. -I thought you didn't like rugby. -I don't. This is evil. -What are you doing? -I got great idea, Jonno. I'm going to snap that parasitic vampire in action. Show the pictures to the world. -Dad, vampires don't exist. -Don't exist? There's one in this very town, Jonathan. He wears a cloak. He lives in a castle. What more proof do you need? Now, where's my dynamite? -Dynamite? -Well, I got to get into the castle somehow. -Oh, brilliant plan, Dad. Very under cover. Because no one will know it's a massive explosion, will they? -Trust me, son. I've been doing this a long time. Dynamite has never let me down before. -You won't need dynamite, Dad. Ingrid broke a table at the castle, and they need a carpenter. Why don't you offer to mend it? -Jonathan, is it really you speaking? I'm proud of you, my boy. We'll make a vampire slayer of you yet. -Right, Vlad. Now it's your turn. Renfield, stand over there. Renfield! -Mes, Yaster. -Try to stop Vlad from getting past you. Now, Vlad, to the attack. -No one gets past, Renfield the Repulsive. -This is useless. I'm never going to get on the team. -Don't be ridiculous. Of course, you will. He'll never get on the team. What's wrong with him? -He needs to get a thirst for it, your evilness. -Ah, thirst to succeed. Come think to think of it. All this violent exercise has given me a thirst. -Whoops. -Vlad, your dad's got that funny look in his eyes again. -No. Don't worry. You won't feel a thing, not after you're dead anyway. -Vlad! -Dad, stop! Friends are not food. Remember. -There. I knew you could do it. -What? Was all that a trick? -Of course, a trick. Very funny. -How could you? -Just proving a point. You see. You can use your powers when you want to. -But Dad, I didn't use any powers. -Well, then how did you get past Renfield the Repulsive? -(SQUEAKY) With a well-aimed tackle. -Oh, I'm proud of you, my son. What a vampire I'll make of you yet. ROBIN: No. No! Don't pass it to me. CHLOE: Robin, Robin, wake up. Wake up. -I just had a terrible nightmare. I was playing rugby. CHLOE: And? -No, that's it. Help me get out of the trials tomorrow. I'm begging you. CHLOE: Well, I might have one idea that might help. -Thanks, Chloe.