Oh, Janine just liked one of my photos on Instagram.

喔！Janine 剛剛在 Instagram 上按我的一張照片讚。

That's weird.

太詭異了。

I've never even talked to Janine.

我甚至從來沒跟她講過話。

Like why would she like one of my photos?

她為什麼會按我的一張照片讚呢？

She doesn't seem like a person that will like just any photo on Instagram.

她不像是會在 Instagram 上隨便按讚的人。

What's this mean?

這意味著什麼？

Does she like me?

她喜歡我嗎？

Oh my God.

我的天啊！

That's it.

一定是這樣。

She hit the heart.

她動心了。

She gave me her heart.

她把她的心交給我。

It's so obvious now.

這太明顯了。

How could I have been so blind.

我之前怎麼都看不見。

The signs.

這些暗示。

Liking my photo and...

按讚我的照片，還有...

Well, just liking my photo.

嗯，就只有按讚我的照片。

If that's your quirky way of asking me out, yes.

如果那是妳要約我出去的怪方式，好。

I will go out with you.

我會跟妳出去約會。

Will I be your boyfriend?

我會是妳的男朋友嗎？

Duh.

這還用說。

Is that too upfront?

這會太直接了嗎？

Well, you were upfront enough to profess your love to me on Instagram.

但妳已經直接到在 instagram 上向我表達妳的愛了。

No ones ever made me feel the way you make me feel right now.

從來沒人讓我感受到像妳現在讓我感覺到的一樣。

Food tastes better.

食物變得更好吃。

Flowers smell better.

花聞起來更香。

I don't have a care in the world.

所有煩惱都拋到九霄雲外。

What color should my wedding tux be?

我的結婚禮服要是什麼顏色？

(intense music)

(音效聲)

Did you just like Zack's photo?

妳剛是不是按了 Zack 的照片讚？

Wait, what's going on here?

等等，怎麼回事？

Are you cheating on me?

妳劈腿嗎？

(crying)

(哭聲)

Okay.

好。

We can work through this.

我們可以度過的。

We're gonna have twins.

我們會有一對雙胞胎。

We're gonna be so happy.

我們會過得很幸福。

No wait, no!

不等等，不！

How could you?

妳怎麼能？

Zack?

Zack？

Why Zack?

為什麼是 Zack？

He was gonna be the best man at our wedding.

他應該要是我們婚禮的伴郎才對。

(yelling) Fuck you, Janine!

(大喊) X妳的，Janine！

We're done.

我們玩完了。

We're through!

我們結束了！

Why?

為什麼？

Oh, Janine just liked my photo on Instagram.

噢，Janine 剛剛在 Instagram 上按我讚。

Eh.

痾。