TODAY INSTEAD OF ME CHOOSING WHAT TO TALK ABOUT,

今天不是我去選擇要講些甚麼

I AM GONNA SPIN THIS WHEEL RIGHT HERE, AND--

我要轉在這個轉輪，就在這裡

[laughter]

(笑聲)

IT'S FAIR.

這絕對公平

SO WHAT HAPPENS IS, IF IT LANDS IN THE RED SECTION,

結果是，如果它停在紅色區塊這兒

WE'RE GONNA LOOK AT A CAT VIDEO.

我們就來看一隻貓的影片

IF IT LANDS IN THIS TINY, TEENY, TEENY, LITTLE GREEN SECTION,

如果它停在這個非常小，應該說極小，極小的綠色區塊

THAT'S "BROUSKO," WHICH IS--

這是「BROUSKO」，它是

IT'S A CLIP FROM A GREEK SOAP OPERA.

一部希臘肥皂劇中的一個片段

PROBABLY NOT GONNA HAPPEN,

可能也不會發生

'CAUSE THIS--THIS IS MOST LIKELY.

因為這個是最有可能的

ALL RIGHT, SO I'M GONNA SPIN IT, AND LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

好的，我要轉動它了，我們來看看結果是甚麼

OH.

喔

[laughter]

(笑聲)

YUP, YUP. NO, NO.

好，好，不，不

OH!

喔！

UGH!

啊！

WHO SAW THAT COMING?

誰會料想的到？

I'M AS SHOCKED AS YOU ARE.

我跟你們一樣驚訝

I WANTED CAT VIDEOS TOO. ALL RIGHT.

我也想要看貓的影片。好吧

STUPID WHEEL.

爛轉輪

ALL RIGHT, DO WE HAVE ANY GREEK SOAP OPERA FANS HERE?

我們有任何希臘肥皂劇的粉絲在這裡嗎？

I SHOULD ASK-- OKAY, SO--

我可以問一下嗎...好吧...所以

[laughter]

(笑聲)

"BROUSKO" IS A POPULAR ONE.

「BROUSKO」是非常有名的一個

IT'S FILMED IN GREECE, AND I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF IT BEFORE.

它在希臘拍攝的，而我在此之前從來沒聽過

ONE OF MY VIEWERS IS A FAN OF THE SHOW.

我的其中一位觀眾朋友是這個劇的粉絲

HER NAME IS MARIA. SHE LIVES IN FLORIDA.

她的名字是瑪麗亞。她住在佛羅里達

AND SOMEHOW MARIA WATCHES THIS ON HER FANCY SATELLITE DISH,

不知怎麼的瑪麗亞在她高級的衛星光碟機上看到這個

AND MARIA NOTICED SOMETHING WHILE SHE WAS WATCHING,

然後瑪麗亞在看的時候發現了一件事

AND SHE THOUGHT THAT I'D BE INTERESTED IN IT.

而她覺得我對這件事應該很感興趣

WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SHOW YOU

我現在要給你們看的

IS A REAL CLIP FROM THE SHOW IN GREECE,

是一個真實的片段，取自希臘肥皂劇

AND THE SCENE IS WHERE A POWERFUL VINEYARD OWNER

這個場景是關於一位有權有勢的葡萄莊園主人

IS THINKING ABOUT HIS LONG-LOST LOVER.

在思念他逝去已久的愛人

LET'S TAKE A LOOK.

我們來看一下

[woman singing in Greek]

(一位希臘女人在唱歌)

[cheers and applause]

(歡呼和鼓掌)

WHAT?

甚麼？

WHAT? [laughter]

甚麼？(笑聲)

THAT IS TOTALLY REAL. IT'S NOT EDITED.

那完全是真的，沒有被後製過

I--IN CASE YOU DON'T KNOW, THAT'S MY HIGH SCHOOL PHOTO.

我......以防你們不知道，那是我中學時的照片

THAT'S MY SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL PHOTO,

那是我高中時的照片

AND IT'S THERE IN A GREEK SOAP OPERA, "BROUSKO."

而它竟然出現在一部叫「BROUSKO」的希臘肥皂劇當中

AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.

我真的沒辦法理解

I DON'T KNOW GREEK.

我不瞭解希臘

I KNOW MY HAIRCUT IS A GREEK TRAGEDY RIGHT THERE.

不過我現在知道，我的髮型在那是個希臘悲劇

SO WHY DOES THAT OLD MAN HAVE MY PICTURE, NUMBER ONE?

所以，第一，為什麼那個老人會有我的照片？

IS IT SUPPOSED TO BE SERIOUS OR FUNNY,

這應該要嚴肅還是感到開心

OR IS IT 'CAUSE I'M HIS LONG-LOST LOVER?

還是因為我是他逝去已久的愛人？

IS THAT-- [dramatic music]

是嗎？(戲劇性音樂)

AND OF ALL THE PICTURES OF ME, WHY THAT ONE?

所有我的照片當中，為什麼就選那張？

WHY?

為什麼？

HERE'S THE--HERE'S WHAT'S HILARIOUS ABOUT THAT.

這才是最好笑的地方

SO I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TWO YEARS

我進學校兩年

IN ATLANTA, TEXAS.

在德州的亞特蘭大

I MOVED FROM NEW ORLEANS TO ATLANTA, TEXAS,

我從紐奧良搬到德州的亞特蘭大

JUST FOR TWO--MY TWO FINAL YEARS OF HIGH SCHOOL.

僅僅兩年，我高中的最後兩年

AND THAT DAY, I WOKE UP, AND I SHOWERED,

那天，我起床，洗澡

AND I TRIED TO FIX MY HAIR,

試著梳理我的頭髮

AND THAT THING HAPPENED RIGHT THERE.

而那張照片就在那時拍的

AND I TRIED TO FIX IT, AND I THOUGHT,

我試著再梳理一次，然後我想

"OH, WHO CARES?

「喔，誰在乎」

"I'M MOVING TOMORROW. I'M LEAVING.

「我明天就要走了，就要離開這兒了」

"IT'S ATLANTA, TEXAS.

「要去德州的亞特蘭大」

WHO'S EVER GONNA SEE THIS PICTURE?"

「誰會再看到這張照片？」

[laughter]

(笑聲)

AND NOW IT'S IN A GREEK SOAP OPERA.

而現在它竟然出現在一部希臘肥皂劇中

OH, MY GOD. LIFE, HUH?

喔，我的天啊，人生就這樣，是不是？

AND SO IF THERE'S ANYONE OUT THERE

所以有沒有人可以跟我解釋

WHO WATCHES THIS SHOW--

在看這個秀的人

PEOPLE FROM GREECE, JOHN STAMOS, WHOEVER--

可能是希臘人，JOHN STAMOS，管他是誰

IF YOU CAN EXPLAIN WHAT I'M DOING WITH THAT OLD MAN...

如果你可以解釋我跟那位老先生的關係

I DON'T WANT TO SPOIL THE ENDING FOR YOU,

我不想透露結局

BUT WE ARE NEVER, EVER, EVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER.

但我們絕對，絕對，絕對，不可能在一起

[laughter]

(笑聲)

THAT'S-- [cheers and applause]

那..(歡呼和笑聲)

I MEAN--MARIA, THANKS FOR SENDING THAT IN

我的意思是，瑪麗亞，謝謝你傳送影片過來

AND FOR HAVING SUCH A KEEN EYE.

也謝謝你有一雙銳利的眼睛

WHAT I'M DOING IS, I HAVE AUTOGRAPHED A PICTURE TO YOU,

我要做的是，送一張我的親筆簽名照給你

AND I AM GONNA SEND YOU THIS TO THANK YOU FOR THAT, I THINK.

我要送你這個來謝謝你的影片