The liberal hippie girl.

愛好自由的嬉皮女孩

The police are an organization sanctioned to oppress us by our government, and we're just supposed to take that?

警方是一個政府允許要來壓迫我們的組織，然後我們就應該乖乖接受嗎？

The ultra conservative guy.

守舊老古版

Things is, if you give them welfare, you disincentivize them to work.

事情是這樣的，如果發放津貼，只會降低人們想去工作的慾望

And the guy who thinks they're both wrong.

還有認為兩者都是錯誤的人

Okay, America was never supposed to be a two-party system.

是的！美國從來就不該是兩黨制

That's why we need Ron Paul.

這就是為什麼我們需要榮·保羅(美國眾議員)

Girls who post party pics.

愛炫耀的跑趴妹們

There's nothing wrong with it except for the fact it's the same pictures every weekend.

其實這也沒什麼不對，但每個周末的照片幾乎都一樣啊

And then it gets really weird when you see this guy, your friend from eighth grade.

而最詭異的是你會看到這個傢伙：你國中時的麻吉

He is closer to his thirties, yet he's keep partying with nineteen years old.

他已經快三十歲了，但還是和青少年一起跑趴

And then there's this girl.

再來就是這個女生

The workout enthusiast

狂熱的健身分子

she just posts pictures of her nice, fit body.

她只上傳炫耀自己妖嬌苗條身材的照片

we get it, you're hot.

好啦，我們都知道妳很辣

Parents who are obsessed with their kids.

迷戀自己小孩的父母

You post a bunch of pictures, and it's annoying

你們總是上傳一堆照片，很煩人耶

What's more annoying is people who complain about parents who are obsessed with their kids.

更討人厭的是那些抱怨這群迷戀自己小孩的父母的人

You are the worst.

你們爛透了

And there's this guy.

再來是這個傢伙

I just wanted to let you all know that my grandma died.

我只是想讓你們知道我祖母過世了

The pity seeker.

博取同情者

Also my dog died, and I am not looking for your sympathy.

還有我的狗也死了，我不是在尋求你們的同情可憐

I am more looking for a date because I'm single.

其實我是比較想找人約會，因為我還單身

You know what's even worse than the pity seeker?

你知道哪種人比博取同情者還糟糕嗎？

You see this car?

看到這台車了沒？

The f*cking douche bag show off.

該死的炫富王八蛋

New promotion, I know, I know, I know. It's pretty awesome.

哥升遷了！我知道我知道～很棒對吧！

I'm getting married.

我要結婚了！

Your ex-girlfriend.

你的前女友

I should have given you that ring.

應該是我給你那只戒指的

The person who keeps promising they're going to change.

想改變但從沒成功的說說哥

I've learned my lesson guys.

嘿～我學乖了

I swear to God, never ever party again.

我發誓，我再也不會去跑趴了

He doesn't mean it, not at all.

他當然只是說說

The guy who thinks Facebook is his own stand-up comedy show.

把臉書當個人喜劇秀的傢伙

And if you don't think he's funny, he's going to hit you with this:

然後如果你認為他不好笑的話，他就會這樣回覆你：

And I'm not really sure that you would get it

我不確定你是否懂我在說什麼

it's a little meta and I am not sure... You suck dude.

這有點隱喻啦，我想.... 你遜斃了！

And worst of them all,

而最討人厭的是...

You suck, oh my God

噢天啊！你很爛耶！

The guy who's too cool for Facebook

以為自己酷到不需要用臉書的傢伙

He hates on everything about it,

他討厭臉書的一切

yet he's still on it.

但他卻還是在使用

You suck!

你爛透了！