Name: 川普上任時，為美國男子冰球隊準備了麥當勞大餐！ (Trump Serves McDonald's to U.S. Men's Olympic Hockey Team)
Uploaded: 2026-03-02T22:12:02.000Z
Duration: 15 min 10 s

And now, if you don't mind, we're gonna get to the news.

接下來，如果大家不介意的話，我們要來聊聊新聞了。

In a post yesterday on Truth Social, President Trump criticized Democratic Congresswoman Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib for interrupting his State of the Union address and said that they, quote, screamed uncontrollably last night at the very elegant State of the Union.

昨天在 Truth Social 上發的一篇文，川普總統批評了民主黨的國會議員 Ilhan Omar 和 Rashida Tlaib 打斷了他的國情諮文演講，並說她們，引述，「昨晚在非常優雅的國情諮文上，歇斯底里地尖叫」。

Oh, is that the same elegant State of the Union where you signed a guy's Trump tie like you were a retired pitcher at a card?

喔，這跟那個優雅的國情諮文是同一場嗎？在那場你像個退休投手在簽球卡一樣，幫人簽了川普領帶。

In an interview this week, House Speaker Mike Johnson said if Republicans lost in the midterms, it would, quote, be the end of the Trump presidency in real effect.

這週接受訪問時，眾議院議長 Mike Johnson 表示，如果共和黨在中期選舉中失利，那將會是，引述，「川普總統任期實質上的終結」。

See how easy it is to come up with a winning message, you guys?

各位看，想出一個贏的訊息是不是很容易？

In her opening statement while testifying today before the House Oversight Committee about Jeffrey Epstein, Hillary Clinton criticized the panel and said that if they were serious about getting new information about Epstein, they would force President Trump to testify.

希拉蕊·柯林頓今天在眾議院監督委員會就 Jeffrey Epstein 作證時，在她的開場白中批評了該委員會，並表示如果他們是認真想從 Epstein 那裡獲得新資訊，就應該強迫川普總統作證。

If you forced Jeffrey Epstein to testify, He'd actually take the vow, you think?

你覺得如果強迫 Jeffrey Epstein 作證，他會真的發誓嗎？

During a confirmation hearing yesterday, Surgeon General designate Dr.

昨天在任命聽證會上，候任公共衛生局長 Dr.

Casey Means said she would not direct parents to vaccinate.

Casey Means 表示她不會建議家長接種疫苗。

Against measles and the flu, mainly because if children go to a doctor's office or a Walgreens, they'd have to put out their cigarettes.

主要針對麻疹和流感，因為如果孩子們去看醫生或去 Walgreens，他們就得把煙熄掉。

That kid was psyched today when we brought him in for the photo shoot.

這小孩今天來拍寫真時超興奮的。

他就說，我可以把這個留下來嗎？

President Trump's America250 task force unveiled the design today for an official time capsule that will be buried on July 4th to celebrate the country's 250th anniversary.

川普總統的 America250 特遣部隊今天公佈了一個官方時間膠囊的設計，這個膠囊將在 7 月 4 日埋下，以慶祝國家 250 週年。

And then accidentally dug up next year when he demolishes the vice president.

然後明年他拆除副總統時，會不小心挖出來。

vance announced yesterday that the Trump administration will freeze nearly $260 million in Medicaid funding for Minnesota in an effort to combat fraud.

Vance 昨天宣佈，川普政府將凍結明尼蘇達州近 2.6 億美元的 Medicaid 資金，以打擊詐欺。

Oh, sure, it's definitely because of the fraud and not to get back at them for laughing when that ICE agent slipped and fell on his ass.

喔，當然，這絕對是因為詐欺，而不是因為他們嘲笑 ICE 探員滑倒在地而報復他們。

And yeah, yeah, we had to show the video.

是的，是的，我們必須播放這段影片。

During a press conference yesterday, Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services Administrator Dr.

昨天在記者會上，聯邦醫療保險和醫療補助服務中心 (Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services) 的行政長官 Dr.

Mehmet Oz criticized people who scammed federal healthcare programs and called them, quote, self serving scoundrels.

Mehmet Oz 批評了詐騙聯邦醫療保健計畫的人，並稱他們為「自私的無賴」。

And then said, the whole thing gave me a headache.

Sort of buy it wherever pharmacists aren't paying attention.

大概是在藥師不注意的地方買的。

During their White House visit this week, President Trump reportedly served the US Men's Olympic Hockey Team McDonald's.

這週訪問白宮時，據報導川普總統請美國男子奧運冰球隊吃了麥當勞。

我的意思是，他當然會這樣做。

I think he only invites people to the White House so he can get McDonald's.

我想他只會邀請人們去白宮，這樣他才能吃到麥當勞。

The website NorthJersey.com has launched a March Madness style competition to determine the best chicken parmesan in the state.

網站 NorthJersey.com 發起了類似三月瘋的比賽，要選出全州最棒的雞肉帕瑪森起司。

Though it's going to be confusing when 30 of the choices are my cousin Angela's.

不過當中有 30 個選項都是我表姊 Angela 的時候，一定會很讓人困惑。

Authorities in Canada recently raided two convenience stores and discovered illegal synthetic cannabis.

加拿大當局最近突襲了兩家便利商店，發現了非法合成大麻。

Cigars, knives, brass knuckles and hallucinogenic edibles.

雪茄、刀子、指節銅套和迷幻食品。

Who goes to a convenience store to buy cigars?

And finally, New York's MTA has announced that later this year it will begin testing an audio advertising program.

最後，紐約的 MTA 宣佈，今年稍晚將開始測試一個音訊廣告計畫。

It will mark the first time passengers had ever said a. Oh, thank God, a mariachi band.

這將是乘客第一次說「喔，謝天謝地，一支墨西哥流浪樂隊」。

Everybody, we got a great show for you tonight.

各位，我們今晚有個很棒的節目要帶給大家。

You know him from fantastic shows such as your Friends and Neighbors and Mad Men, as well as films like Bridesmaids and Top Gun Maverick.

你們可能認識他演過的精彩節目，像是《六人行》和《廣告狂人》，還有電影《伴娘我最大》和《捍衛戰士：獨行俠》。

He's currently starring in Hoppers, which is in theaters March 6th.

他目前正在主演《Hoppers》，這部電影將於 3 月 6 日上映。

各位，Jon Hamm 又回到節目上了。

He's a Grammy Award winning rapper, songwriter, drummer, record producer, making his directorial debut and starring in the film K pops in theaters February 27th.

他是一位葛萊美獎得主，身兼饒舌歌手、詞曲創作人、鼓手、唱片製作人，這次更是首次執導並主演電影《K-Pop》，將於 2 月 27 日上映。

Before we get to that, the Trump administration is once again threatening war with Iran over its nuclear program, despite claiming they already obliterated that nuclear program.

在我們進行到那之前，川普政府再次威脅要因為伊朗的核子計畫與伊朗開戰，儘管他們聲稱已經摧毀了那個核子計畫。

For more on this, it's time for a closer look.

更多相關資訊，是時候來深入瞭解了。

before Trump took office in 2017, we had a deal with Iran to prevent them from building a nuclear weapon.

在川普上任前的2017年，我們和伊朗有個協議，阻止他們製造核武。

I've been making lots of wonderful deals, great deals.

我做了很多很棒的交易，很棒的交易。

Never, ever, ever in my life have I seen any transaction so incompetently negotiated as our deal with Iran.

我這輩子從來沒有，從來沒有，從來沒有見過任何一筆交易，談判得像我們和伊朗的協議這麼無能。

Your list of failed businesses includes Trump Airlines, Trump Vodka, Trump Mortgage, Trump Stakes, Trump Magazine, Trump University, Trump Waters, Trump Vitamins, and

你失敗的企業名單包括川普航空、川普伏特加、川普抵押貸款、川普賭注、川普雜誌、川普大學、川普之水、川普維他命，還有

Trump the Game, which is like Monopoly, but

instead of a thimble or a top hat, you can play as a golf ball or a up hand.

你可以玩高爾夫球或手部動作，而不是玩頂針或圓頂禮帽。

Seriously, can you imagine sitting at home and playing this with your family?

說真的，你能想像在家裡跟家人一起玩這個嗎？

Ooh, looks like I landed on community chess.

喔，看來我停在「社區象棋」了。

It says, uh, oh, you slept with a porn star.

上面寫著，呃，喔，你跟一個A片明星睡覺了。

The point is, Trump really hated the Iran deal and immediately started messing with it, although he wasn't always super familiar with the words he was reading.

重點是，川普非常討厭伊朗協議，而且立刻開始搞砸它，雖然他對他讀的字詞不一定都很熟悉。

Key House and Senate leaders are drafting legislation that would amend the Iran Nuclear Agreement Review act to strengthen enforcement, prevent Iran from developing an Internet.

眾議院和參議院的關鍵領導人正在起草立法，修改《伊朗核協議審查法》，以加強執行，阻止伊朗開發網路。

I thought he said Internet, but then he said, this is really important.

我以為他說網路，結果他說，這真的很重要。

Did you really think the teleprompter said the words an Internet missile?

你真的以為提詞機說的是「網路飛彈」嗎？

I mean, what's an Internet missile anyway?

A text next to the family group chat that says, dad cheated on mom.

家庭群組裡的一則訊息，寫著「爸爸對媽媽不忠」。

Seriously, who is the staffer who met President Trump and thought, oh, he'll be able to say intercontinental ballistic missile, no problem.

說真的，是哪個幕僚遇到川普總統，然後想說，喔，他應該可以順利說出「洲際彈道飛彈」吧。

They're developing an inter condo where the is Gavin.

他們正在開發一個公寓，裡面住著 Gavin。

Seriously, dude, if you can't say the words intercontinental ballistic missile, then just don't put them in the script.

說真的啦，如果你洲際彈道飛彈講不出來，就別放進劇本裡。

You know, use acronyms like wmd, which stands for weapons of mass destruction, or gsp, which stands for giant sky penis.

你知道的，用縮寫，像是 wmd，代表大規模毀滅性武器，或是 gsp，代表巨型天空雞雞。

Now, just FYI, no one uses that one yet, but I am trying to make it a thing.

現在，只是讓你知道一下，還沒有人在用這個，但我正努力讓它流行起來。

The point is, stick to words you can pronounce.

It's like how my writers know not to put the word pundit in a script because I pronounce it with a second N at the end, like pundit, which, as we all know, is what you say when someone makes a bad pun, you know?

就像我的編劇知道不要把「評論家」這個詞放進劇本，因為我會唸成最後一個 N 結尾的 pundit，你知道的，就像我們都知道，當有人講了爛笑話時，你就會說，你知道嗎？

So Trump scrapped a deal we already had in place to stop Iran from building a bomb.

所以川普取消了我們已經達成的協議，阻止伊朗製造炸彈。

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川普上任時，為美國男子冰球隊準備了麥當勞大餐！ (Trump Serves McDonald's to U.S. Men's Olympic Hockey Team)

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