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  • Alright. Let's get this shit over with. Come on.

  • *cheery elevator music*

  • Have a seat. Don't get too comfortable though.

  • You're never going to see this office ever again.

  • Oh I'm going to talk as white as I can during this interview *chuckles*

  • My smile has gotten me through everything in life. So I'm just going to be smiling a lot.

  • You didn't happen to bring a piece of paper with a surface level description of what you do on it?

  • I made this in college, and it's just covered in lies.

  • Here's a template from online. If you could just not read that.

  • No. Redstone Real Estate does not exist. I saw it on a coffee mug and put it on my resume.

  • Yeah, I'm not actually reading this. It's just a bullshit formality. *Crunches up paper*

  • Let me start by giving you a vague description of what this job entails.

  • I'll listen poorly.

  • Yeah that's gonna help me realize it's never gonna work out.

  • Now legally I'm not allowed to ask you any questions about age, sex or nationality.

  • But I'm gonna go 'head and make some wild assumptions about you based on your appearance.

  • As a woman, I wouldn't expect for you to get past the surface level observation.

  • I'm more concerned with the background check.

  • I'm gonna try to mold myself into what it is you want me to be.

  • So tell me. What makes you so damn special?

  • You know what? I can't think of a damn thing

  • I'm actually constantly afraid that I'm not special at all.

  • So when you're not at work, how do you waste your time?

  • Oh mostly drinking at bars, and hopefully complaining about you in the future.

  • *chuckes* I'm not listening. Do you have any ill informed questions for me?

  • I didn't think about this part at all.

  • How many people here are douchebags like you?

  • Do you think I got the job?

  • Well my gut feeling right now is that you have a lot going on on the outside.

  • You are a nightmare to be with in conversation

  • and you're unfortunately still a woman.

  • So you're not going to get the job.

  • But let's go ahead and press our dirty palms together anyway.

  • That's fine. I've got two more shitty job interviews to get to today.

  • Safe to assume I won't hear from you again?

  • I'm gonna go cry in my car and replay this conversation and tell myself how much of an idiot I am.

  • Well this was a complete waste of both of our times

  • because I'm just going to hire the boss' nephew anyway.

  • I will literally never think of you ever again.

  • *cheery elevator music*

  • Google search. How to get away with sexual harassment.

Alright. Let's get this shit over with. Come on.


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B1 中級 美國腔

如果每個人在面試時都是誠實的 (If Everyone Was Honest At Job Interviews)

  • 999 56
    Halu Hsieh 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日