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  • Riley: Please, don't try this at home.

  • Jory: Because nobody likes roasted nuts!

  • Jon: Uh, apparently, you like SOMETHING in the room, though, huh, Jory?

  • Jory: Hello, and welcome to...

  • Jory and Riley: ..."Is It a Good Idea to Microwave This?"

  • I'm your host, Jory Caron.

  • I'm your early-retirement sidekick, Riley McIlwain.

  • Jory: You guys want BIG BOOM?

  • Riley: HERE'S a big boom!

  • *Riley moans*

  • Jory: That's not the big boom they're wanting, Riley.

  • Riley: Sure it is!

  • Jory: Give 'em the Big Boom!

  • Riley: BIG BOOM!

  • Jon: WOW! That's almost as big as my dick!

  • Riley: Disco stick!

  • Jory: (referring to Jon's comment) Not true...

  • Riley: BOOM stick!

  • Jory: Disco stick?!

  • *Riley squeals*

  • Jory: Oh, we're gonna give it to you! How are we gonna give it to you?

  • Riley: Shake Weight!

  • Jory: On a gold plate!

  • *theme song plays*

  • Jory: It smells like victory!

  • Jory: All hands to the deck!

  • Jory: Nobody likes roasted nuts!

  • Jory and Jon: WHOA!

  • Jory: You got that on camera, right?

  • Riley: I don't trust this bitch!

  • Jon: Are you out of your mind?!

  • Jory: The masks- they do nothing!

  • Riley: You TOTALLY could have died!

  • Riley: The tin foil shield- it actually worked!

  • Jory: Stopping, stopping!

  • Riley and Playlist Live crowd: 3.5!

  • Jon: YEAH!

  • Jory: Is it a good idea to microwave this?

  • Jory: Let's find out! Here at the Jory Caron Field of Destruction...

  • Jory: (yelling) ...THREE...

  • Jory and Riley: (yelling) ...POINT-OH!

  • *Riley stops yelling "oh," but Jory continues for a long time*

  • Riley: Alright, alright, alright! We get it, we get it! STOP!

  • Riley: (through clenched teeth) We get it, we get it, we get it!

  • Riley: Oh, God!

  • *Jory finally stops yelling "oh"*

  • Jory: Microwaving things is what we do here! And that's why we don't have any tin foil shield...

  • Riley: (whispering) No tin foil shields!

  • Jory: ...to protect our nuts, because, let's be honest here...

  • Riley: No one likes roasted nuts!

  • Jory: ...they're all gone, and there's only two more episodes, and it doesn't really matter now, does it?

  • Riley: (screaming) NOTHIN' matters anymore!

  • Jory: Let's do this as a blowout!

  • Jon: You guys have gone over the edge!

  • *Riley excitedly pounds on the top of Heather*

  • Jory: OH, look at that microwave! Sweet microwave! Too bad she's gonna be GONE!

  • Riley: WHOO!

  • Jory: Fill 'er up!

  • Riley: With that BOOM stick, baby!

  • Jory: Fill 'er up!

  • Jory: Aw, yeah! AW, yeah!

  • Jory: So, now, all we gotta do is put some time on the clock!

  • Riley: Some time!

  • Jon: How long should we put it in there for, guys?

  • Jory: Like 30 minutes!

  • *whistling of screamer firework, followed by explosion pop*

  • Jory: Plugging in!

  • Jon: Be careful!

  • Jory: I'll try my best!

  • Riley: At least we got it on film!

  • Jory: Exactly!

  • Jon: I don't wanna see you blow up, so don't!

  • Riley: Let's go, let's go!

  • Jon: (screaming in terror) GET OUTTA THERE!

  • Riley: (screaming) GO, GO, GO, GO!

  • *Ryan laughs*

  • Riley: Alright, pull the string!

  • Jon: Alright, so we have the entire mechanism hooked up to a pull-string.

  • Jory: You ready?

  • Riley: I'M ready!

  • Ryan: Let's do this!

  • Jon: Alright, cross your fingers, hope to die!

  • Jon: Actually, DON'T hope to die...

  • Ryan: I didn't hear the generator rev up.

  • Riley: I think it's hittin' it twice.

  • Jon: It must've slipped, Jory.

  • Riley: (to Jory) Go and hit it twice.

  • Jory: The string isn't working 'cause it was hitting "start/stop" immediately. It just wasn't going.

  • Jory: So, uh, I'm gonna hit it by hand.

  • Jory: Uh, I still have two hands. Hopefully, I will when this is done!

  • Jon: Alright, good luck, Jory. We're gonna back up. You stay here.

  • Jory: Yup, yup.

  • Jory: Godspeed to myself! (chuckles)

  • Jon: Yes!

  • Jon: Good luck! We're all counting on you!

  • Ryan: Godspeed!

  • Jon, Riley, and Ryan: (yelling) RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN!

  • Riley: (laughing) RUN! [Beep]!

  • *firework mortar explodes*

  • Jon, Riley, and Ryan: WHOA!

  • Jory: I didn't see it!

  • Riley: Where'd the microwave go?!

  • Jon, Riley, and Ryan: RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN!

  • Riley: (laughing) RUN! [Beep]!

  • *firework mortar explodes*

  • Jon, Riley, and Ryan: WHOA!

  • Jory: I didn't see it!

  • Jon, Riley, and Ryan: RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN!

  • Riley: (laughing) RUN!

  • *firework mortar explodes*

  • Jon: (to Jory) You didn't see it, did you?

  • Jory: No.

  • Jon: You were running from the explosion, 'cause you're THAT bad-ass!

  • Jon: (to Jory) You got pretty far in five seconds, though! I think you don't give yourself enough credit.

  • Jon: Look at all the [beep]in' smoke!

  • Jory: So, you may be wondering where the hell the microwave is!

  • Riley: I don't know!

  • Jon: There's the DOOR!

  • Jory: It took a journey back here!

  • Jory: So, how did it look?

  • Jon: I don't know. It looked pretty cool!

  • Ryan: It was awesome!

  • Jon: It's a lot smaller than I thought it would be, though.

  • Jon: Can you pick it up, or is it still too hot?

  • Riley: REAL hot!

  • Jory: Oh, it's touched.

  • Jory: [Beep]! That IS hot!

  • Riley: I TOLD you it was hot!

  • Jory: Why do I always touch the hot things?!

  • Jory: (in redneck voice) Pick it up like a beaver! We got a beaver right here!

  • Jon: Whoo! Look at that thing- it's just wrecked!

  • Riley: (sarcastically) It smells great!

  • Riley: I wonder if it still works?

  • Jory: So, you may actually be wondering if it's a good idea to microwave a large mortar firework.

  • Jory: Just get a shot of that right now, and that's your answer- right there!

  • Jory: No, it's not a good idea. It's a horrible idea, unless it's your job!

  • Jory: Seriously, though, don't try this at home.

  • Riley: No, no. WE'RE not even at home!

  • *Jory chuckles*

  • Jory: That's about it for this episode of...

  • Jory and RIley: ..."Is It a Good Idea to Microwave This?"

  • I'm your host, Jory Caron.

  • I'm your sidekick, Riley McIlwain.

  • *end credits play*

  • *funeral montage music plays*

  • Jon: Hamilton Beach?! Is that a location in New Hampshire, or is that the name of a microwave?

  • Jory: Have we done "Heather"?

  • Jon: No!

  • Jory: I'VE never done a Heather!

  • Jory: We really should let it burn...

  • Jory: (moaning) ...RIGHT there!

  • Jory: You know, they all blend together!

  • Riley: That fire is... out!

  • *Jory laughs*

  • *firework mortar explodes*

  • Jon, Riley, and Ryan: WHOA!

  • *funeral montage music stops*

  • *Click on episode #77 to witness the beloved Helga die by screeching pyramid, as well as hear "all hands to the deck"!*

Riley: Please, don't try this at home.

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B1 中級

用微波爐加熱煙花砂漿好嗎? (Is It A Good Idea To Microwave A Firework Mortar?)

  • 170 8
    阿多賓 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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