Name: 白宮走廊成梅蘭妮亞伸展臺？裴德·海塞如何迴避戰爭罪指控？| 主播新聞 (Pete Hegseth Dodges War Crime Allegations & Melania Decks the WH Halls | The Daily Show)
Uploaded: 2025-12-05T00:59:31.000Z
Duration: 11 min 9 s

程度副詞

Pete Hegseth throws his admiral under the boat.

Pete Hegseth 把他的 admiral 犧牲了。

Kash Patel 穿上了他的大男孩衣服。

And at the White House, Melania decks the halls that haven't been bulldozed.

而在白宮，Melania 裝飾了那些還沒被夷平的廳堂。

So let's get into it with another installment of the Worst Wing.

所以，讓我們開始本期的 Worst Wing。

It's been a chaotic year for the White House, from the ballroom construction to a new decor style that design experts are calling leprechaun bukkake.

對白宮來說，今年真是混亂的一年，從舞廳的施工到一種被設計專家稱為 leprechaun bukkake 的新裝飾風格。

The point is, the People's House is in rough shape, and

重點是，人民的房子現在狀況很糟，而且

I don't know if anything at all could save it now.

我不知道現在還有什麼能救得了它。

Who gives a about Christmas stuff and decoration, but I need to do it right.

誰管聖誕節的東西和裝飾，但我需要把它做好。

The first lady unveiled the 2025 White House Christmas decorations today.

第一夫人今天揭曉了 2025 年白宮聖誕裝飾。

This year's theme, Home is Where the Heart Is.

今年的主題是 Home is Where the Heart Is。

I love how she's touching everything like that.

Would someone who hates Christmas do these?

一個討厭聖誕節的人會做這些嗎？

I mean, good God, she didn't even take her coat off.

我的意思是，天啊，她連外套都沒脫。

And while Melania was decking the halls, Donald was dreaming of sugar plums dancing in his head.

而當 Melania 在裝飾時，Donald 則夢見糖梅仙子在他腦中跳舞。

Unfortunately, it was in the middle of a cabinet meeting where he somehow kept falling asleep while people worked really hard to kiss his ass.

不幸的是，這發生在一次內閣會議中，他竟然在大家努力拍他馬屁時睡著了。

As we speak to you now, Steve Woodkoff is in Moscow trying to find a way to end this war to save lives of 8,9000 people, Mr.

在我們跟您說話的同時，Steve Woodkoff 正在莫斯科試圖找到結束這場戰爭的方法，以拯救 89,000 人的生命，總統先生。

President, as you want to, are dying every week.

總統，就像您想要的，每週都有人死去。

Jeez, normally dudes fall asleep after someone blows them.

天啊，通常男生在被吹完後才會睡著。

If you're falling asleep mid blowjob, you should see a doctor.

如果你在吹喇叭吹到睡著，你應該去看醫生。

But let's move on to Kash Patel, FBI Director and man who just found out that Cash Patel is the FBI Director.

但我們來談談 Kash Patel，FBI 局長，也是剛發現 Cash Patel 是 FBI 局長的那個人。

And now a new report is giving people yet another reason to question Cash's priorities as Director.

現在一份新報導又給了大家一個質疑 Cash 局長優先順序的理由。

The day after Charlie Kirk's assassination, sources in this report say that Kash Patel flew in to Provo airport on the FBI jet and then refused to get off until someone provided him with a medium sized FBI raid jacket.

報導中的消息來源說，在 Charlie Kirk 被暗殺的隔天，Kash Patel 搭乘 FBI 專機飛抵普羅沃機場，然後拒絕下機，直到有人給他一件中型的 FBI 突襲夾克為止。

One was found belonging to a female agent and taken to the plane.

找到了一件屬於女性探員的夾克，並送上了飛機。

Obviously, as an enlightened, progressive person, I believe that gender expression is a.

顯然，作為一個開明、進步的人，我相信性別表達是。

And we shouldn't judge people for what they wear at the same time.

同時我們也不應該評判別人穿什麼。

But honestly, you can't even tell that it's a women's jacket.

但說實話，你根本看不出來那是女生的夾克。

Although looking back on it, you can tell that he was up there thinking, I hope no one can tell I'm wearing a women's jacket.

雖然回頭看，你可以看出他當時在想，希望沒人發現我穿了女生的夾克。

Throwing a tantrum and refusing to get out of the plane until he had exactly what he wanted to wear.

還發脾氣，不肯下飛機，直到拿到他想要的衣服為止。

I know he borrowed a woman's jacket, but did he borrow her period, too?

我知道他借了女生的夾克，但他有順便借她的生理期嗎？

And getting his jacket wasn't even enough cash still needed to accessorize.

而且拿到夾克還不夠，Cash 還需要配件。

But then Patel, according to these sources, was displeased by the fact that it didn't have velcro patches on the upper arms.

但根據這些消息來源，Patel 對夾克上臂沒有魔鬼氈補丁感到不滿。

And so then these agents had to go scurrying around trying to find velcro patches.

所以這些探員又得四處奔波，想辦法找魔鬼氈補丁。

Finally, some SWAT raid guys produced them off their own jackets.

最後，一些 SWAT 攻堅的隊員就從自己的外套上拆下來給他。

It's like trying to get your 8 year old out the door for school.

這就像是要叫一個八歲小孩出門上學一樣。

No, mom, I'm not leaving until I find my special jacket, the one with the cool patches.

「媽，我沒辦法走，除非我找到我的那件有酷炫補丁的特製外套。」

Let's move on to the big news about Pete Hegseth, Secretary of Defense and guy who will buy you a beer even if you're underage.

好了，我們來聊聊 Pete Hegseth 的大新聞，他是國防部長，也是那種就算你還沒成年也會請你喝啤酒的人。

And also, you didn't even ask him for beer.

And also, he's just drinking the beer all by himself.

Pete assures us he's sober, although he might need a drink now.

Pete 向我們保證他很清醒，不過他現在可能需要一杯了。

Now to the intensifying controversy surrounding Defense secretary Pete Hegseth over an alleged order to kill everyone on a suspected drug boat and a second strike that targeted survivors.

接下來是關於國防部長 Pete Hegseth 的爭議，他被指控下令擊斃一艘疑似毒品船上的所有人，以及第二次攻擊目標是倖存者。

Lawmakers from both parties and legal experts say this could be a war crime.

跨黨派的立法者和法律專家都說，這可能會構成戰爭罪。

I can't believe Pete Hegseth might be going down for war crimes.

我真不敢相信 Pete Hegseth 可能會因為戰爭罪而垮臺。

I thought for sure it'd be a hit and run.

While running away from another hit and run.

還是在逃離另一起肇事逃逸的途中。

And one thing we know, if somebody did something wrong, he's going to man up and take responsibility.

有一件事我們知道，如果有人做了錯事，他會挺身而出並承擔責任。

As the Secretary of War, Pete Hagseth put the blame for the second strike squarely on his commander, Admiral Mitch Bradley, saying on X, I stand by him and the combat decisions he has made on the September 2nd mission and all others since.

身為戰爭部長，Pete Hegseth 將第二次打擊的責任完全歸咎於他的指揮官 Admiral Mitch Bradley，他在 X 上表示：「我支持他以及他在 9 月 2 日任務和之後所有任務中所做的戰鬥決定。」

Blaming someone by pretending to praise them.

假裝讚美某人，實際上卻在怪罪他。

I stand by him and all the decisions he made on his own while I was out of the room.

我支持他，以及我在房間時他自己做出的所有決定。

If you want to get to him, you know what?

I also love how Pete's also pre blaming Bradley for all the other since.

我也很喜歡 Pete 事先怪罪 Bradley 在之後所有其他事情上的做法。

And I also congratulate the admiral for cheating on my wife at the holiday party next week.

我也要恭喜這位 admiral 下週在年終派對上對我太太不忠。

So, yeah, things are starting to look a little dicey for the Secretary of defensiveness, But

所以，是的，國防部長的處境開始有點不妙了，但是

Pete is fighting back the way a true warrior does with memes.

Pete 正在以一個真正的戰士的方式反擊，那就是用梗圖。

But Defense Secretary of the United States today posting this meme of Franklin the Turtle, a children's character standing on the edge of a helicopter firing a missile at a boat.

但美國國防部長今天卻發布了一張富蘭克林烏龜的梗圖，一個兒童角色站在直升機邊緣，朝一艘船發射飛彈。

Okay, well, this whole image is deeply disturbing, especially the part where the turtle is wearing a helmet.

好的，這個畫面實在令人不安，尤其是那隻烏龜戴著頭盔的部分。

And obviously, Hegseth should not be using Franklin this way.

很明顯，Hegseth 不應該這樣利用富蘭克林。

There's already several turtles who famously kill people for a living.

已經有好幾隻烏龜以殺人為生了。

So obviously this story is developing rapidly, but

所以很明顯這個故事正在快速發展，但是

it really does show you why it's so important to vet your cabinet members.

這真的讓你明白為什麼篩選內閣成員這麼重要。

If only there were signs that Hegseth would be so cavalier about war crimes.

要是早有跡象顯示 Hegseth 會對戰爭罪如此輕率就好了。

Back in 2019, Hegseth reportedly spent months personally lobbying Trump to pardon multiple U.S.

回到 2019 年，據報導 Hegseth 花了好幾個月親自遊說川普，希望他赦免幾名美國

service members who had been accused of war crimes.

服役人員，他們被控犯下戰爭罪。

If he committed premeditated murder, then Duncan did as well.

如果他犯了預謀殺人罪，那 Duncan 也一樣。

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白宮走廊成梅蘭妮亞伸展臺？裴德·海塞如何迴避戰爭罪指控？| 主播新聞 (Pete Hegseth Dodges War Crime Allegations & Melania Decks the WH Halls | The Daily Show)

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