Apparently, we drink too much, grope women, and get sunburnt.

很顯然的，像是我們（作者為英國人）喝太多酒啦，到處把妹，或是輕易地曬傷自己。

Outraged at all these lazy stereotypes, the British press decided to hit back with some lazy stereotypes about the Germans.

英國人被這些不經思考的刻板印象言辭激怒，所以決定要以世人對德國人的刻板印象來個絕地大反擊。

So I thought it would be a good idea to take just a few of these and examine them a little more closely.

當然，我覺得這是個好主意所以就選了些例子來為大家仔細檢驗一下它們的真實度。

I’ve chosen five.

我選了五個例子，

Germans always lay their towels on the sun-loungers in order to reserve them before anyone else can get to the pool.

（第一）德國人總是把浴巾丟在太陽椅上目的只是為了不要讓其他人搶先於他們佔到位置。

At least one study has confirmed that, in fact, yes,

至少有一個研究明確指出這項指控．．．是真的。好吧。

the Germans really are more likely to do this than anyone else.

德國人的確是極度有可能幹出這種事情，比起其他國家的人。

But do you know who came second?

但你知道，接下來第二名會幹這種事的人是哪國人嗎？

The British.

答案是：英國人。

Germans have no sense of humour.

（第二）德國人一點幽默感都沒有。

I’ve made a couple of videos explaining this one, and no matter how clearly I state that yes, in fact Germans do have a sense of humour,

我其實之前的影片都有討論過這一點了，但不論我講的多清楚，多明白，其實德國人是有幽默感的。

I’m regularly accused by Germans of saying the exact opposite.

我常常被德國人嗆說我常說反話，

Yes, the Germans have a sense of humour: of course they do!

但是啦，德國人是有幽默感的，百分百絕對有！

It’s just that humour is a product of culture, and so the British simply don’t understand the German sense of humour.

只是幽默感其實是文化的一種產物，所以理所當然英國人不太懂德國人的幽默感。

Germans don’t know how to enjoy themselves.

第三：德國人不會自得其樂（此指享受生活）。

The British have this view of the Germans as being well-behaved, strait-laced,boring, unable to have fun or enjoy themselves.

英國人大部分都覺得德國人循規蹈矩，一板一眼，平庸無趣，又不會享受人生。

This is probably because, outside of London,

這可能是因為在倫敦以外的地方，

most British people's experience of German tourists to Britain is of retired couples going to Cornwall touring the settings of the books by Rosamund Pilcher,

大部分英國人都會看到去英國觀光的德國人多為已退休的德國夫婦造訪康瓦爾郡（英國西南方島）到Rosamund Plicher 小說中的場景遊覽,

which are very popular among that age group in Germany.

而且他的書在那個年紀的德國人中非常受歡迎。

In fact, these people are enjoying themselves; just without the need to get senselessly drunk first.

事實上，德國人是很會享受的，只是不是以喝個爛醉做為享樂的開頭而已。

But if you try some of the Mediterranean resorts, like the Platja de Palma on Majorca,

但是如果你去地中海附近的觀光勝地，像是西班牙的帕爾馬，

you’ll find lots of young Germans getting just as stupidly drunk as the British twelve miles down the road in Magaluf.

你就會看到很多年輕的德國人喝得很醉很開心，就跟距離不遠的Magaluf（也是西班牙旅遊勝地）那同時也有英國人在那喝酒一樣。

Germans can’t cook.

第四：德國人根本不會煮菜。

There’s some irony about this one, because the Germans say that it’s the British who can’t cook.

關於這點，其實是用來挖苦德國人的，因為德國人說英國人才是不會做菜的人，

Well in fact, German cuisine is as varied and interesting as any other cuisine:

但事實上呢，德國佳餚就如同其他國家一樣也擁有豐富又有趣料理的，

it’s not all just potatoes and cabbage.

而非全部只有馬鈴薯跟包心菜。

What about all the different types of fish that you can get in the north of Germany?

比如說你可以在德國北部嘗到完全不一樣魚料理?

Or, if you’re in the south, how about...

或是...如果你在德國南方，可以嘗到像是...

Swabian Maultaschen? Sort of pasta, stuffed with meat and spinach.

施瓦本道地餛飩？某種塞滿肉及菠菜的義大利麵，

Or how about... grilled chicken?

或是...德國烤雞？

Onion tart? Or...pork tenderloin in a mushroom and pepper sauce served with fried potatoes and salad?

洋蔥塔餅？或是...嫩豬排加了蘑菇，還有辣椒醬，搭配薯條和沙拉 ?

Germans think Mr.Bean is funny.

第五：德國人認為豆豆先生很搞笑。

Actually, that one is true.

事實上呢，這點是真的了。

If you have something for my notice board,

如果你有對我的板有任何想提出的，

please send it to this address.

歡迎你寄到下面的地址，

Please note that I can only accept letters and postcards,

請記得我只能收信件及明信片，

so please don’t send me parcels or packages,

所以請不要寄給我包裹或箱子，

or anything that must be signed for.

或任何需要簽收的東西。