I took some topics from my Facebook page and I was so glad that you posted what you wanted.

我從粉絲專業上找到一些主題，我很開心你們把自己想聽的主題都發表上來

And here is my response. So one of you asked “how you move on after a breakup or divorce”,

而我現在就來回應大家，其中有人問「分手或離婚後該如何調適？」

and this Facebook spirit junkie was mentioning how she was my book Spirit Junkie

臉書，這個會讓人成癮的網頁已經說明了我的書Spirit Junkie如何

to help further her healing after a divorce.

幫助她調適離婚後的生活

I know that Spirit Junkie has landed in hands of many many folks

我知道Spirit Junkie解決了很多人

in spiritual or relationship crisis.

心靈及人際關係上的危機

And it’s a big book on healing codependency healing that fear based perception of romance.

這本書主要在治癒關係成癮及對談戀愛的恐懼感

And so I’ve seen it as a guide for many people.

所以我把本書當作導引

So I want to touch on some of the topics that they bring up in that book that really serve you when you’re in that experience of a breakup or divorce.

藉由書中部分主題來教導人們如何調適分手或離婚後生活

And so the first thing is that we have to really start to look at our side of the street.

首先，我們得檢視自己的行為

When we end a relationship, we really want to point the finger and say you know, “look what you’ve done, look how you’ve hurt me, look… that I am the victim.”

關係結束時，我們其實都會指著對方說：「看看你做的好事，你竟然這樣傷我，我是受害者。」

Of course the miracles teach us that we must be an energy of “I am not the victim of the world I see.”

當然，奇蹟總是教我們不要成為受害者

And start to really make a responsibility and a commitment to not living in that role of the victim.

開始學會負起責任，並承認自己不是受害者

And one of the best ways to get out of that energy is to take ownership for your part.

而其中最好的解決辦法就是對自己負起責任

What is your part?

那部分是你的責任呢？

And I said this in many romance lectures. Sometimes your part is that you stuck a round a little to long.

我在戀愛學程都提過了，有時候，你的問題是太拐彎抹角了

Sometimes you part is that you were unwilling to forgive,

有時候，你的問題是不願意原諒

sometimes your part is that you were unwilling to let go.

有時候，你的問題是不願意放手

And so I’ll challenge you right now, just make a list of all the ways that you played a role in the chaos of this relationship.

所以現在我要給你一個挑戰，把交往時所有失控的行為都列在紙上

And the end of it. How did you participate?

並改進這些缺點，你該如何改進？

The next message here is that we must bring in the practice of forgiveness.

其次，務必要學著原諒對方

We must start to open our hearts and our minds to release our attachment to that past relationship. If we want to clear the space to receive more romantic love in the future.

敞開心胸，放下已逝去的感情，如果以後還想要有其他戀情

If we carry that resentment then we’re going to create it in our future relationships.

如果把怨恨帶給下一段戀情

If we release that resentment, then we will set ourselves free and create a new pattern.

如果放下怨恨，給自己空間去找尋新戀情

And so I have a lot of great resources for forgiving relationships.

我有很多應變方法來原諒另一伴

I can just give you a free link at the bottom of this blog where you can listen to my fearless relationships forgiving meditation.

我在網誌最下面會貼上連結，讓你聽聽看我如何勇敢面對感情，原諒對方

And that will be very very helpful for you.

那對你非常有用

And I have a whole album called “medidating, meditation for fearless women.”

我還有一本相簿叫「沉思吧！勇敢的女人沉思吧！」

And this album will give you the guidance to heal those past wounds and then start to align yourself with an energy of magnificence to attract in that new partner.

這本相簿會指導你如何撫平過去的傷痛再次做回高尚的妳吸引新伴侶

And so that piece of forgiveness is not necessarily easy but it is a blessing that is bestowed upon you.

原諒非常不容易，但如果你願意敞開心胸接受

when you open up to receive it.

它會是贈與妳的祝福

So I welcome you to start to say to yourself, “I’m willing to forgive. I’m willing to let this go.”

所以我很歡迎你現在就對自己說：「我願意原諒，我願意放下一切。」

And then I want you to really pay attention to the language that you’re using around your past relationship.

接著，我要你靜下心來思考對前伴侶講過的話

If you’re walking around putting down your partner, talking negatively about it.

如果你還放不下他，仍說些負面的話

You’re bringing more energy to the issue.

你就得花更多力氣來改變

So I challenge you to start to hold that relationship with a lot of high regard.

所以我要你開始高度尊重這段感情

Even if it was really dramatic, even if it was scary in any way.

即使它很曲折、很可怕

You could just start to say I’m grateful for that experience because it taught me what I don’t want.

你可以說，我很感謝那段感情，因為它讓我知道我不想要什麼

I’m grateful for that experience because it’s guiding me to go bigger in my life and have a higher expectation for what I deserve and what I desire.

我很感激那段感情，因為它讓我變得更茁壯而且我的期望變更高了

And start to move into an energy of gratitude for what you have learned rather than anger and resentment for what you have lost.

要嘗試將力氣放在感謝你得到了什麼，而不是生氣或怨恨你失去了什麼

And that will really reorganize your energy.

那會重整你的能力

If you feel called to go deeper in this concept of fearless relationships.

如果你覺得要更深入了解如何勇敢面對感情

I have a fearless relationships digital course that’s now available.

我可以借你勇敢面對感情的線上教學光碟

And you can go to fearlessrelationships.tv to get all of the details there.

你也可以上fearlessrelationships.tv得到更多資訊

So if this is something that you wanna dive deeper into or you need further guidance, check it out.

所以如果這是你想鑽研的部分，或是你需要更深入的解說，瀏覽這個網頁吧！

And feel free to use the free resources in this blog.

網誌上所有連結也都可以任意點選

I hope this serves you. I trust that you are definitely being guided to heal the past.

我希望這有幫助到你們，我相信你們都知道要撫平過去的傷痛

If you’re even watching this video, a presence within you guided you here and great healing is available to you now.

如果你看過這部影片，就證明你用過這種方式，過去的傷痛早已治癒

So many blessings to all of your future romantic relationships.

祝福你們未來都能幸福

I hope to hear all these beautiful stories. Maybe officiate some of your weddings one day. Keep me posted.

我希望能聽到這些美麗的故事，也希望可以幫你們證婚。再回應我囉！

I love you all!

我愛你們