You're not who you are in front of your friends.

在朋友面前，你不是你自己。

You're not who you are in front of your parents or your children.

在父母和孩子面前，你不是你自己。

Or who you are at church.

或者你在教堂裡是誰。

Or who you are at the country club when you let your hair down and go wild.

或者，在鄉村俱樂部裡，當你盡情放縱時，你是誰。

None of those are who we are.

這些都不是我們的本性。

We put on a different persona for each one of those situations.

在每一種情況下，我們都要扮演不同的角色。

Really who we are is when no one's watching.

當沒有人注意時，我們才是真正的我們。

What are our habits, what are our decisions?

我們的習慣和決定是什麼？

What are the things that we do?

我們都做了些什麼？

It's like someone saying they want to start a business, they tell everybody they want to start a business, but when no one's watching they're binging out on Netflix complaining about rich people, right.

這就好比有人說自己想創業，他們告訴所有人自己想創業，但沒人看的時候，他們就在Netflix上抱怨有錢人，對吧。

Or saying they want a good relationship, but when no one's watching you're on the phone texting someone you met two years ago or five years ago, right.

或者說他們想要一段美好的關係，但在沒人注意的時候，你卻在給兩年前或五年前認識的人發短信，對吧。

And my congruency in my relationship wasn't there.

而我在人際關係中的一致性並不存在。

When that relationship ended, Ed, I had to look in the mirror and say, if I bring this guy.

當那段感情結束時，艾德，我不得不照照鏡子說，如果我帶著這個人，

Doesn't matter if I meet the perfect woman who's beautiful inside now if I bring this guy, I'm six months, six days, six years away from the same crap happening again.

如果我現在遇到一個內心美麗的完美女人，如果我帶著這個男人，我離同樣的破事再次發生還有六個月、六天、六年的時間，這並不重要。

And I had to really evaluate the man I was.

我不得不對自己進行真正的評估。

And I took again, if once you take complete ownership and and.

我再次強調，如果你一旦擁有了完全的自主權，那麼你就會有更多的機會。

I could digress a million ways but I really feel the world is evolved at what we're pointing fingers.

我可以扯得很遠，但我真的感覺到，我們的指手畫腳讓世界變得越來越不一樣了。

It's the president, no, it's the previous president, no, it's the current president, no, it's the liberals, no, it's the conservatives, it's the Democrats, it's it's it's the foreign agents, it's China.

是總統，不，是前任總統，不，是現任總統，不，是自由派，不，是保守派，是民主黨，是外國代理人，是中國。

There's a million things that could be.

有無數種可能。

I don't know and I'm not giving judgment other than.

我不知道，我也不做評判，我只是說：

But I've never grown as much.

但我從未像現在這樣成長。

Until you point the finger at the guy in the mirror.

直到你把矛頭指向鏡子裡的那個人。

And before I met my wife, instead of trying to meet the perfect woman, I was just trying to figure out how I could be a better human.

在遇到我的妻子之前，我並不是想遇到一個完美的女人，我只是想知道如何才能成為一個更好的人。

And when that happened, when I decided, I want to be a man that.

當這一切發生時，當我決定，我要成為一個這樣的人。

If my children found a way to have a private, secret video on me 24 hours a day.

如果我的孩子們找到了一種方法，可以每天 24 小時對我進行私人祕密視頻。

And they could watch that when they're older, when I'm dead and gone, and they go, wow, they could either go, wow, he was a good dad, but when no one was watching, my dad, oh my God, can you believe he did that and he did that.

等他們長大了，等我死了，等我走了，他們就會看，哇，他們會說，哇，他是個好爸爸，但是當沒有人看的時候，我的爸爸，哦，我的上帝，你能相信他那樣做了嗎，他那樣做了嗎。

I would love for my kids to watch that video and go, wow, dad was the same whether people were watching or not.

我很希望我的孩子們看了那段視頻後會說：哇，不管有沒有人看，爸爸都是一樣的。

And when I took that to my heart, I want you to hear that.

當我把這句話記在心裡時，我想讓你們聽到這句話。

Like think about that.

想想吧

Think about if your kids could see a video of you when no one's watching.

想一想，如果你的孩子能在沒人看的時候看到你的視頻，那該有多好。

When I went through a divorce, Ed, I was either like.

當我離婚的時候，埃德，我要麼像：

I'm going to be the best version of me and I'm going to attract that other half.

我要做最好的自己，我要吸引另一半。

Or I'm going to be a kickass single dad for the next 30 years.

或者，在接下來的 30 年裡，我將成為一個出色的單親爸爸。

That's that's the way I looked at it.

我就是這麼看的。

And I have to tell you, I brought a better version of me.

我必須告訴你，我帶來了一個更好的自己。

Or I created a better version and I attracted the love of my life.

或者，我創造了一個更好的版本，吸引了我的夫妻。

And we've been together years, four or five years now, and it literally grows better, stronger every single day.

我們在一起已經好幾年了，有四五年了，我們的關係一天比一天好，一天比一天強。

And again, I keep moving that lighthouse to say how can I light this woman up more, how can I make her more attracted to me, how can I make it so our intimacy is off the chart.

同樣，我不斷地移動燈塔，告訴她我怎樣才能讓這個女人更喜歡我，怎樣才能讓她更喜歡我，怎樣才能讓我們之間的親密關係更上一層樓。

How I how can I surprise her?

我怎樣才能給她一個驚喜？

How can I make you know.

我怎樣才能讓你知道

Tony Robbins, I love when he used to say if you treated the end of a relationship like the beginning, there'd be no end, right?

託尼-羅賓斯（Tony Robbins）曾經說過，如果你把一段關係的結束當作開始，就不會有結束，我很喜歡這句話，對嗎？

I love that saying.

我喜歡這句話。