Faster than a cat chasing a laser pointer?

比貓追脈衝光筆還快？

Sometimes it's less about the looks and more about their negative, off-putting attitude.

有時，與其說是因為長相，不如說是因為他們消極、令人討厭的態度。

Because in the realm of interpersonal relationships, attractiveness goes beyond physical appearance.

因為在人際關係領域，吸引力不僅僅是外表。

It encompasses personality, behavior, and emotional traits.

它包括個性、行為和情感特徵。

And one significant factor that may repel others is toxic ego.

而一個可能會排斥他人的重要因素就是有毒的自我。

Left unchecked and out of balance, a toxic ego can manifest in a lot of destructive, unpleasant ways.

如果不加以控制，失去平衡，有毒的自我就會以許多破壞性的、令人不快的方式表現出來。

With that being said, here are some of the most common ways your toxic ego can make you unattractive to others.

說了這麼多，下面是一些最常見的方式，你的 "有毒自我 "會讓你對他人失去吸引力。

The egocentric abyss.

以自我為中心的深淵

Imagine going out for dinner with a friend, excited to share the news of your recent promotion.

想象一下，你和朋友一起出去吃飯，興奮地分享最近升職的消息。

As you start narrating, you notice your friend's attempt to interject their own exciting news, only to be subtly steered back to your achievements.

當你開始敘述時，你注意到你的朋友試圖插入他們自己的令人興奮的消息，但卻被你巧妙地引導回到你的成就上。

That's the toxic ego stealing the stage and dimming the light on mutual sharing and connection.

這是有毒的自我在搶奪舞臺，讓相互分享和聯繫的光芒變得暗淡。

A toxic ego is like having a one-way mirror where your needs, desires, and opinions are spotlighted, but others fade into the background.

有毒的自我就像一面單向鏡子，你的需求、慾望和觀點都被聚焦，而其他人卻被淡忘。

And regardless of whether or not this is intentional on your part, self-centeredness is still unattractive.

不管你是否有意為之，以自我為中心仍然是沒有吸引力的。

Stuck in our rigid ways.

固步自封

Have you often been told you don't work well with others?

你是否經常被告知不善於與他人合作？

Do you have trouble with group projects because of a rigid adherence to your own ideas and beliefs about how things should be done?

你是否會因為死守自己的想法和信念而在小組項目中遇到困難？

Refusal to adapt or compromise stifles more than creativity and collaboration.

拒絕適應或妥協，扼殺的不僅僅是創造力和協作。

It makes people like you a lot less.

這會讓人們更不喜歡你。

Not being open to considering alternative perspectives can stem from a toxic ego that's resistant to change.

不願意考慮其他觀點，可能是因為自我有毒，抗拒改變。

Thus hindering personal growth and putting a strain on your relationships.

從而阻礙個人成長，給人際關係帶來壓力。

The validation trap.

驗證陷阱。

Another way a toxic ego can manifest is through a constant need for the validation of others.

有毒自我的另一種表現形式是不斷需要他人的肯定。

Constantly seeking validation can be exhausting for those around you and may make you appear insecure and unattractive.

不斷尋求肯定會讓周圍的人感到疲憊，也會讓你顯得缺乏安全感和吸引力。

As true confidence comes from within and isn't reliant on external affirmation.

因為真正的自信來自於內心，並不依賴於外界的肯定。

The armor of defensiveness.

防衛的盔甲

Having a toxic ego can make us more defensive, dismissive, or even hostile when confronted with our shortcomings or mistakes.

當我們面對自己的缺點或錯誤時，有毒的自我會讓我們更加自衛、不屑一顧，甚至充滿敵意。

It makes it difficult for us to accept even the most constructive feedback.

這讓我們很難接受哪怕是最有建設性的反饋意見。

For example, suppose your supervisor at work offers some pointers to enhance your project presentation.

例如，假設你的上司為你的項目演示提出了一些建議。

A toxic ego might react defensively, immediately justifying every choice made, instead of considering the valuable feedback that could significantly improve the outcome.

一個有毒的自我可能會做出防禦性反應，立即為所做的每一個選擇辯解，而不是考慮那些可以顯著改善結果的寶貴反饋。

This defensiveness can be unattractive to others.

這種防衛心理會對他人沒有吸引力。

As it implies arrogance and an inability to reflect on one's actions and improve.

因為它意味著傲慢，意味著無法反思自己的行為並加以改進。

Sorry seems to be the hardest word.

對不起似乎是最難表達的一個詞。

Admitting when you're wrong and apologizing is a sign of emotional maturity and humility.

承認錯誤並道歉是情感成熟和謙遜的表現。

However, a toxic ego can often prevent us from apologizing or acknowledging our mistakes.

然而，有毒的自我往往會阻止我們道歉或承認錯誤。

Picture a situation where you accidentally overlooked a close friend's important event due to a mix-up in your schedule.

想象一下，由於日程安排的混亂，您不小心忽略了一位好友的重要活動。

A toxic ego might lead you to rationalize the oversight or deflect blame rather than owning up to the mistake and offering a sincere apology.

有毒的自我可能會讓你將疏忽合理化或推卸責任，而不是承認錯誤並真誠道歉。

Such a blatant lack of accountability not only erodes the trust and respect others have towards us, it's also a major turnoff that diminishes our attractiveness in the eyes of potential friends or partners.

這種公然缺乏責任感的行為不僅會削弱他人對我們的信任和尊重，也會大大降低我們在潛在朋友或伴侶心目中的吸引力。

Seeking genuine connections based on mutual respect and support.

在相互尊重和支持的基礎上尋求真正的聯繫。

In conclusion, recognizing and addressing a toxic ego is essential for personal growth and successful relationships.

總之，認識和解決有毒自我對於個人成長和成功的人際關係至關重要。

Cultivating self-awareness and fostering a mindset of continuous improvement can help combat these unattractive traits and create more meaningful connections with others.

培養自我意識和不斷改進的心態有助於消除這些不吸引人的特質，並與他人建立更有意義的聯繫。

So psych to goers, what are your thoughts on this video?

那麼，心理諮詢師們，你們對這段視頻有什麼看法？