Sipping on my son right chat the Sun right? So usually, you know, we're boys usually we're friends

啜飲我的兒子 右聊太陽吧？所以通常，你知道，我們是男孩 通常我們是朋友

But today we're gonna be enemies in the bathroom mirror. So you have do you have any boxing experience?

但今天我們要在浴室的鏡子裡成為敵人你有拳擊經驗嗎？

Yeah in the bathroom mirror dude when I feel like out of control

是啊，當我覺得自己失控的時候，我就會對著浴室的鏡子發呆。

Before

之前

We start boxing each other we have zero gear

我們開始互相拳擊，我們沒有裝備

So we're outside sports check right now and we're gonna go shopping for a little bit of boxing gear

我們現在就在體育用品商店外面，我們要去買點拳擊裝備

You know, what do we need mouth guards headgear mouthguards, especially cuz I paid for Invisalign

你知道，我們需要什麼護齒頭套護齒，尤其是因為我付了隱形矯正的錢

Like raw and I can't like that'll be fucked up with my teeth. Like I will cry. Oh my god

就像生的，我不能，就像那會搞砸我的牙齒。我會哭的我的天啊

You know how much of an overreaction I would have if my teeth started bleeding. Okay. Well, that's that's fine

你知道如果我的牙齒開始流血 我會有多過激嗎？好吧 Okay.好吧，沒關係

I don't think teeth can actually bleed like I don't think that's a thing that can happen head. What is it called headgear?

我不認為牙齒會流血，就像我不認為頭會流血一樣。什麼叫頭套？

I don't know here. Um, no concussions here

我不知道這裡。這裡沒有腦震盪

I'm also like if you get a concussion you have a higher chance of beating like your spouse. Yeah, so I can't yeah

我還想，如果你得了腦震盪，你打你配偶的機率會更高。是啊，所以我不能

We're gonna be doing best of three rounds and each round is gonna be taking place in a different location

我們將進行三局兩勝制，每局比賽都將在不同的地點進行

We honestly don't know where we're gonna fight yet and have each round one place. It'll be like smash, bro

老實說，我們還不知道要在哪裡打，每輪都在一個地方。就像粉碎一樣，兄弟

So you like switch maps? Yeah, so we're gonna be looking for different places. Let's go guys. Let's go. Oh

你喜歡切換地圖？是啊，所以我們要去尋找 不同的地方。讓我們去的傢伙。走吧哦

That's so lit. Whoa, dude. Everyone's going in here. Wow. This is the spot today. Yo, okay. Yeah, what's up?

太亮了哇，夥計每個人都在這裡。哇哦 Wow.這是今天的現場。喲，好吧。是啊，這是怎麼回事？

Tyler Swift, you know, this is that's Kelke. That's Kelke. That's Taylor. So that's my favorite basketball player

泰勒・斯威夫特，你知道， 這是Kelke。那是凱爾克這是泰勒。所以，這是我最喜歡的籃球運動員

We've never been in here before. I honestly don't know where the boxing gear is. And so we're gonna we don't talk to employees either

我們從沒來過這裡我真的不知道拳擊裝備在哪裡所以我們也不和員工說話

I hate one of them. So can you just ask them? No, I'm not gonna ask for fucking help. Um, excuse me. Hi

我討厭其中一個。那你能問問他們嗎？不，我他媽不會求人幫忙的打擾一下你好

I was wondering do you know where your boxing gear is? I'm an independent guy if I always ask for help. That means I'm I'm nobody

我想知道你知道你的拳擊裝備在哪裡嗎？我是個獨立的人 如果我總是尋求幫助的話這意味著我誰也不是

I

I

Love an honest employee. She says honestly, I don't know where he is man. And that's that's totally fine. That's okay. Nico. Do I look good?

我喜歡誠實的員工。她老實說，我不知道他在哪兒。沒關係的沒關係尼科我好看嗎？

Do you want me to be frank with you I

你想讓我對你坦白嗎？

Think it could use some tweaking bro. It just doesn't look good on the head, bro like you should let me just

我覺得還需要調整一下，兄弟。只是頭上看起來不好看，兄弟，你應該讓我只是

See that's cute, that's cute. No, you honestly you should buy it look in the mirror looks cute. You look cute

你看，多可愛，多可愛。不，老實說，你應該買下來 照照鏡子，看起來很可愛你看起來很可愛

I don't look that bad

我看起來沒那麼糟

Like you like like I want to cuddle you like I want to squish you wait bro

喜歡你，喜歡我想擁抱你，喜歡我想壓扁你，等等兄弟

Cuz if I wasn't wearing this jacket, maybe I'd look like a fucking loser

因為如果我不穿這件夾克，也許我看起來就像個該死的失敗者

But like this looks like it looks it like it looks like you just got off work as a lawyer

但就像這看起來就像你剛下班的律師一樣

But you're also like it's cold outside

但你也覺得外面很冷

Also, and you're going to the bar with your friends

還有，你要和你的朋友去酒吧

My hair is long in the back if I didn't have like the long hair in the back

我後面的頭髮很長，如果不是因為我後面的頭髮很長的話

I would look like a fucking I look like a foreskin boy. That's there's nothing wrong with that

我看起來就像一個他媽的包皮男孩。這沒什麼不對的

Shut up to my foreskin users. I

對我的包皮使用者閉嘴I

Didn't touch it. I got scared like whoa, dude, you're not supposed to do that DZ don't man

沒有碰它。我嚇得哇哇大叫，老兄，你不該這麼做的，DZ 別這樣。

Dude worst case look at me

老兄，最壞的情況是看著我

That's pretty cool

太酷了

Witness me

見證我

Okay, sorry. We already have one pair of boxing gloves. So we just need one pair

好吧，抱歉我們已經有一雙拳擊手套了所以我們只需要一雙

Are these the ones you have if I have a bigger ounce?

如果我有更大的盎司，你們有這些嗎？

Glove wouldn't that like wouldn't I have an advantage? I'd be fucked up. No, it would be heavier on your hands

這樣我不就有優勢了嗎？我就慘了不，你的手會更重

I mean, you know, which one are you? I don't know. I my gloves are so old

我的意思是，你知道，你是哪一個？我不知道 我的手套太舊了 I don't know.我的手套太舊了

I like use them literally when I was like 15 my hands still fit them. Unfortunately, sadly. Hey Siri

我喜歡用它們，就像我 15 歲的時候，我的手還能握住它們一樣。不幸的是嘿 Siri

What ounce boxing glove should I get if I'm a featherweight? I'm a featherweight 125 pounds 150 pounds you should get 12. I'm 140 pounds

如果我是羽量級選手，我應該買多大盎司的拳擊手套？我是羽量級 125 磅 150 磅，你應該買 12 盎司的。我 140 磅

Pure muscle motherfuckers. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you. Is this supposed to cover your entire head?

純粹的肌肉混蛋謝謝Oh, thank you.這是要蓋住你整個頭嗎？

Yeah, I can't even see through that

是啊，我都看不透了

Is this supposed to cover your entire head like that

這個應該像這樣蓋住整個頭嗎？

And then we need mouthguards, which should probably in the hockey section, right? Oh, yeah, look at my setup pink gloves black helmet

然後我們需要護齒，這應該放在曲棍球區，對吧？哦，對了，看看我的裝備 粉色手套 黑色頭盔

That's what they call me

他們都這麼叫我

Thanks, bro, okay, how bad do we need them we need

謝謝，兄弟，好吧，我們有多需要他們，我們需要

Bro

兄弟

No said how bad do we need them?

沒有說我們有多需要他們？

Well, I don't I don't know cars especially cuz I paid for Invisalign like I will cry if my like teeth started bleeding

嗯，我不知道，我不知道汽車，尤其是因為我付了隱形牙齒矯正的錢，如果我的牙齒開始流血，我會哭的

I'm missing a missing tooth does kind of look cool though. No, no, it does not it looks no it looks like experience

我缺了一顆牙，不過看起來挺酷的。不，不，它不酷，它看起來不酷，它看起來像經驗

No, oh shit. We were just over. Okay, it's probably downstairs. Let's go downstairs

不，該死我們剛結束好吧，可能在樓下我們下樓去

Joe is that mean you go?

喬，你要走了嗎？

That's right guys. I got held up in traffic. No, that's cool. You go go help a customer

沒錯，夥計們。我堵車了沒關係你去幫顧客吧

Because we know where everything is now apparently dude if somebody gets me a sports check uniform

因為我們知道現在所有東西都在哪裡，顯然，如果有人給我買運動服的話，老兄

We should do a challenge where we have to pretend to be employees. The first one to get kicked out loses

我們應該做一個挑戰，讓我們假裝是員工。誰先被踢出去誰就輸了

It wouldn't be me, bro

不是我，兄弟

No, cuz you would make a scene great. I bullshit in though

不，因為你會讓現場精彩紛呈。但我還是要廢話少說

That's true. I feel like I'd be got to keep him low a lot low

沒錯。我覺得我得讓他低調很多。

I would I would be so out there that they'd be like, oh, it's just this for his day. Like he's just nervous man. I

我會表現得很誇張，以至於他們會說，哦，這只是他的一天。他只是太緊張了I

Swear, we looked everywhere. I'm just gonna ask again, bro. Oh my god compilation of all

我發誓，我們到處都找過了我再問一遍，兄弟哦，我的上帝，所有的彙編

Excuse me. Hi, excuse me. Could I ask you a question? Hi, sir?

借過嗨，打擾一下能問你個問題嗎？嗨，先生？

I was already do you know where the gym section is and I'm not gonna ask for fucking help

你知道健身房在哪裡嗎，我不會求你幫忙的。

Hi, sir. Could I ask you a quick question?

你好，先生我能問你一個簡單的問題嗎？

Do you know where your mouthguards are? Oh, yeah. Yeah

你知道你的護齒在哪兒嗎？知道知道

All right, we got neon green

好吧，我們有霓虹綠

And that's it let's do black should we do a whistle for Celeste so he can blow in the

就這樣，我們來吹黑哨吧，我們應該為塞萊斯特吹個哨子，這樣他就能吹響黑哨了。

Okay, let's get a whistle wait, what if wait do we probably shouldn't have a whistle in Gramble Street

好吧，我們去拿個哨子 等等，如果等等 我們也許不應該在格蘭布爾街放哨子

Wait, why people are gonna think it's a rape whistle, bro

等等，為什麼人們會認為這是強姦口哨，兄弟？

Okay, let's go by these it was a thing yeah guys, sorry, I'm really sniffly sniffly today

好吧，那就按這些來吧，這是一件事，是的，夥計們，對不起，我今天真的很流鼻涕

Blow your nose blow your nose blow your nose in my hand, man. I will do it

擤鼻涕吧 擤鼻涕吧 用我的手擤鼻涕吧 夥計我會的

But I'm going to wash my hand and then you got to go pay for this stuff

但我要去洗手，然後你就得去付錢了

Close cell phone technology for hand protection grip cord inside for extra gripping ever cool mesh ventilation panels

封閉式手機技術可保護手部，內側的抓繩可提供額外的抓握力，還有涼爽的網狀通風面板

Ever shield reinforced pad a wrist for support and increase hyper. Yeah, you're fucked

永遠的盾牌加固了手腕的支撐和增高。是啊，你完蛋了

The manager was like a right behind us the whole time, bro

經理一直跟在我們後面，兄弟

I know it's like do you like I was gonna you know, I was gonna do it in your nose, right?

我知道這就像你喜歡 我是要去 你知道，我是要做到這一點 在你的鼻子，對不對？

Do it. All right, not in your hand. I mean

動手吧好吧，不在你手裡我是說

This is the most disorganized store ever check out check out blood warning

這是史上最混亂的商店，結賬結賬血的警告

We were in check out and we got all the gear but then DZ started

我們在退房時拿到了所有裝備，但後來 DZ 開始

I started bleeding cuz my tap wouldn't work on the credit card and I had to think of the password and it was just too

我開始流血，因為我的水龍頭在信用卡上不起作用，我不得不想密碼，這實在是太

Much for like he was literally over like overdrive and then I was just like I was like

就像他簡直就像超速一樣，然後我就像我就像

Oh, and I just told you my fucking password and I just ran out

哦，我剛告訴你我的密碼，我就跑出來了

Stop I need a napkin. Yeah. So what we're gonna do now is we got it. Okay, I'll get you a nap

我需要一張餐巾紙好的所以我們現在要做的就是拿到它 So what we're gonna do now is we got it.好吧，我給你拿個小盹

That means I'm definitely bleeding today this we should just get me a bunch of napkins like this isn't the end

這意味著我今天肯定要流血了，我們應該給我拿一堆餐巾紙，因為這還不是結束

This isn't the end. God damn it. This happens. This is a monthly thing here. You fucking go man

這不是終點該死的這種事時有發生每個月都這樣你他媽的去的人

You should get more cuz like if you punch me it's gonna happen again. No, no, no, it'll be good. It's fine

你應該多拿點，因為如果你打我一拳 我還會再打你的不 不 不 會沒事的It's fine

All right guys now we're going to the second we got to go mold the mouthpiece. Oh, I'm gonna wash my hands later

好了，夥計們，現在我們要去第二個 我們得去模具的口罩。哦，我一會兒要洗手

Yeah, so we need to find like some place that has boiling hot water so we can mold the mouth pieces into our teeth

是啊，所以我們得找個有滾燙開水的地方，這樣我們就能把口模塞進牙齒裡了

You got the mouthpiece in already, bro. I'm not gonna show you guys the blood strong blood. I can't show you the blood

你已經把嘴塞進去了，兄弟。我不會讓你們看到血淋淋的場面我不能給你們看血

I don't want to show you the blood some people like that shit, but here's I just like the you know, hold it right here

我不想給你看血跡，有些人喜歡那玩意兒，但我喜歡這裡，你知道，就拿著它

Two fingers medium pressure just hold it and be patient the more you stress the more it's gonna bleed

用兩根手指按住，壓力適中，耐心等待，壓力越大，出血越多。

That's what my mom said. Did she say that? Yeah, what's she talking about noses? Oh

我媽媽是這麼說的她這麼說的？是啊，她說什麼鼻子？哦

Probably menopause too. My mom went through menopause. My mom actually

可能也是更年期。我媽媽也經歷過更年期。我媽媽實際上

Undid her menopause one time. Did you know that?

有一次，她的更年期解除了。你知道嗎？

My mom's like late 50s right now one time I think she was like 54 dude, she literally started she undid the menopause. She started bleeding bro. I was like, what the fuck is happening

我媽媽現在已經 50 多歲了 有一次，我想她大概 54 歲，她真的開始停經了。她開始流血我當時就想，這他媽是怎麼回事

It was it was awesome, man. That's pretty awesome

真是棒極了真是太棒了

How bloody do I look you look like you've got hit one live from the Tim Hortons bathroom right now. We're gonna mold these

我看起來多血腥啊 你看起來就像在Tim Hortons的洗手間裡被人打了一樣我們要把這些

We got two cups of hot water right here

這裡有兩杯熱水

I don't know how to do this

我不知道該怎麼做

You just put it in for a minute and then you take it out that cannot work like that

你只需把它放進去一分鐘，然後再拿出來，這樣做是行不通的

It works like that. Well, we'll see. Fuck. These are 30 bucks heat water to 150 do not boil water should be just hot enough that you can't quite dip your finger in it

是這樣的走著瞧吧媽的這些要30塊錢 把水加熱到150度 不要燒開 水溫要剛好燙到你不能把手指浸進去

Okay, it's mouth guard in water

好吧，是水中護齒

Detailed side up. Okay. Let's see. That's good. Oh my god. That's perfect

詳細的一面朝上。好的Let's see.That's good.哦，我的上帝。That's perfect

And I wasn't it just quite couldn't dip but yeah, that's fine. Okay, so

我沒有，只是不能沾水，不過沒關係。好吧

Okay, get yours ready Derek. Okay ready? Okay

好了，把你的準備好，德里克好了嗎？好了

I have a lot of fucking anger. I'm like tilted from that from the

我有很多他媽的憤怒。我就像傾斜了一樣，從

No, it's like like Derek and his relationship and those nosebleeds is like very complex

不，這就像德里克和他的關係 和那些鼻血是非常複雜的

Like we have to keep the packaging if we're returning it or we can return these dude

比如說，如果我們要退貨，就必須保留包裝，或者我們可以退還這些花花公子

My relationship with this so complex because it's like I fear it all the time every time I have something significant in my life

我與它的關係如此複雜，因為每次我生活中有重大事情發生時，我都會害怕它

I'm always scared about a nosebleed. I always take tissue

我總是害怕流鼻血。我總是帶著紙巾

It literally just fucks with me check the mouth guard with the softness of a spoon or fork

它簡直就是在用勺子或叉子的柔軟度干擾我檢查護齒

Do not keep this do not keep in the water too long 30 to 40 seconds. You can't take this out

不要在水裡泡太久，30 到 40 秒。不能取出

It's just hot just dip your fingers in bro. Just show do not let it fold it do. Oh fuck dude

用手指蘸一下就熱乎乎的，兄弟。只是顯示不要讓它摺疊它做。哦，該死的傢伙

You're just shrinking holding yours is folding. Oh my god. It's actually so hot

你只是在縮小，而你的在摺疊。天吶其實好熱

You push my to the bottom, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Okay, just take it out. Okay, okay

你把我推到底 對不起 對不起I'm sorry.好吧，只是把它拿出來。好吧，好吧

Okay, where we put it in your mouth, bro. Top or bottom top

好了，我們把它放進你的嘴裡，兄弟。頂部還是底部 頂部

I

I

Don't know if I did this right

不知道我這樣做對不對

Back in

返回

That's how you fucking do a mouth guard guys, okay, that's how you fucking do it, but you fucking I have to get mine somehow

這就是你們他媽的做護齒的方法，好吧，這就是你們他媽的做護齒的方法，但你他媽的我得想辦法弄到我的護齒。

Okay, dude, Derek. You're on the sink in the Tim Horton the same

好了 夥計 德里克你在蒂姆-霍頓的水槽上，和我一樣

That's fucking nasty

真他媽噁心

I

I

Could totally beat labar ball in one big one. Yeah

完全可以一舉擊敗拉巴球。是的

Yo, I

喲，我

Actually did it. It's pretty good. I feel like that's a pretty good mouth guard. Sure

我真的做了。很不錯我覺得這個護齒不錯當然

But why doesn't it protect it doesn't protect your bottom teeth. Have you ever seen the NHL player wear? No

但為什麼它不能保護你的下牙呢？你見過 NHL 球員戴的護齒嗎？沒有

But I don't want to lose my bottom. No, I think the bottom piece the way they're like a line to your body makes it

但我不想失去我的下半身。不，我覺得底片就像你身體的一條線，讓它

So I can't like break. I have my personally like

所以我不喜歡休息。我個人喜歡

We're gonna put him in my mouth the whole time right put him in a cup what the fuck did I just step on bro?

我們要把他一直放進我的嘴裡 對 把他放進杯子裡 我他媽踩到什麼了 兄弟？

Oh shit. That's my own

哦，該死這是我自己的

That's right on my own

這是我自己的

Double chocolate chunk cookie is a boom

雙層巧克力塊餅乾大受歡迎

What do they say?

他們怎麼說？

Have you seen that video where like they're trying to plan the script and they get mad at his son

你看過那段視頻嗎？視頻中，他們正在策劃劇本，然後對他的兒子發火。

Hey guys, I'm so sorry to hear about your dead brother. That's at least five big booms

嘿，夥計們，對於你們死去的兄弟，我深表遺憾。至少有五聲巨響

I'm happy again here. Thanks, bro. It's quite good

我在這裡又開心了。謝謝，兄弟。很不錯

If solicit bite bro doesn't my bad y'all don't drink too much water before we fight by the way, oh

如果你不咬我的兄弟，那是我的錯，順便說一句，在我們戰鬥之前，你們都不要喝太多的水哦。

Oh

哦

I'm powering up your power. Yo, how much exercise do you do? I jog like 20-30 minutes a day

我在增強你的力量喲，你做多少運動？我每天慢跑 20-30 分鐘

I haven't realized and probably

我還沒有意識到，也許

Since when was grade 11 gym class?

11 年級的體育課是什麼時候開始的？

Dude, that's like six years. I haven't exercised in six years, but you're not unfit. Yeah, you just don't

老兄，這都六年了我已經六年沒運動了 但你不是不健康是啊，你只是沒有

Yeah, I just I mean you're on yeah, like like 30 seconds of running like I'm actually like done I just I might as well

是啊，我只是我的意思是，你是在是啊，像像30秒運行 我其實喜歡做，我只是我還不如

Yeah, I'm gonna fuck you up then boy. Yeah, no cuz my strat right now to beat Derek is to do

是啊，那我就乾死你，小子。是的，不，因為我現在打敗德里克的方法是

Short bursts of high intensity because that's all I have in me cuz longevity Derek will beat me cardio

短時間的高強度運動，因為這就是我的全部，因為長壽的德里克會打敗我的有氧運動

He'll just destroy me. So I have to get my it's like a minute and a half rounds, bro, dude