Gerber puree beef and ham!

Gerber 純牛肉和火腿！

Okay, not me actually liking it.

好吧，不是我真的喜歡。

Aw, that was so fun.

噢，太有趣了

Okay, switching gears.

好吧，換個話題。

Let's give a round of applause to the MILF of the hour, my cousin Kelsey!

讓我們以熱烈的掌聲有請本時段的 "母夜叉"，我的表妹凱爾西！

Love you, cuz! Girl, you killed rehab!

我愛你姑娘，你殺了戒毒所的人

Welcome back!

歡迎回來

And let's not forget about the Papa 2B.

別忘了還有爸爸 2B。

Kidding. Just four weeks till we meet our little one.

開玩笑的。還有四周就能見到我們的小寶貝了。

I would now like to invite up Kelsey's besties,

我現在想請凱爾西的好朋友們上臺、

AKA Cal Squad!

又名 Cal Squad！

Thank you. So, instead of a gift, we're going to do something different for y'all because we're a little bit artistic and a little bit random.

謝謝你們所以，與其說是禮物，不如說是我們要為你們做點不一樣的事情，因為我們有點藝術細胞，也有點隨意。

Last month, we took Kelsey on one last girls' trip, a besties babymoon.

上個月，我們帶凱爾西去參加了最後一次女生旅行，也就是閨蜜嬰兒月。

I think the babymoon is normally for the couple, but hey, I know y'all queens gotta be queens.

我覺得嬰兒月通常是給夫妻倆的，但我知道你們女王就是女王。

And let's just say Kelsey was hot to go on our vacay, so we wrote a special song about it.

凱爾西很想去度假，所以我們專門為此寫了一首歌。

They say everything's bigger in Texas.

俗話說，得克薩斯州什麼都大。

But Kelsey's already effing huge, so we're going to Miami.

但凱爾西已經很厲害了 所以我們要去邁阿密

Five, six, five, six, seven, eight.

五、六、五、六、七、八

Kelsey is our bestie, gonna be a mama.

凱爾西是我們的好朋友，馬上就要當媽媽了。

So we took a trip in my Hyundai Sonata.

於是，我們開著我的現代索納塔去旅行。

Just cuz you're pregnant don't mean you're a granny.

懷孕並不意味著你就是個老太婆。

Kelsey couldn't fly, so we drove to Miami.

凱爾西不能坐飛機，所以我們開車去了邁阿密。

We get facials at the spa, but Kelsey doesn't talk at all.

我們在水療中心做面部護理，但凱爾西根本不說話。

We say, Kelsey, get off your phone, cuz we know who she's texting, know who she's texting.

我們說，凱爾西，別玩手機了 因為我們知道她在給誰發短信 知道她在給誰發短信

D-O-L-I-N-E-O.

D-O-L-I-N-E-O。

Kelsey's texting the big girl.

凱爾西在給大女孩發短信

Thought that she forgot his due.

還以為她忘了他該做的事。

She's sending him her pregnant news.

她要把懷孕的消息告訴他

Wait, what happened?

等等，怎麼了？

Oh my God, babe, just listen to the whole song before you make, like, a snap judgment.

哦，天哪，寶貝，聽完整首歌再下結論吧。

Okay, well, the song just started, and we're already at pregnant news.

好吧，這首歌才剛開始，我們就聽到了懷孕的消息。

Dancing at the club, but Kelsey's panicked.

在俱樂部跳舞，但凱爾西驚慌失措。

Take her to the bathroom, and she just starts shouting.

帶她去衛生間，她就開始大喊大叫。

She says eight months ago is a little bit hazy.

她說八個月前的事情有點模糊。

I'm 90% sure that it's not Domingo's baby.

我有 90% 的把握這不是多明戈的孩子。

Wait, what?

等等，什麼？

There's a chance this isn't even my kid?

這有可能不是我的孩子嗎？

Babe, are you even listening?

寶貝，你在聽嗎？

I said it's 90% not his baby.

我說 90% 不是他的孩子。

Trust the math.

相信數學

Now we can finally see why Kelsey brought us to Miami.

現在我們終於知道凱爾西為什麼帶我們來邁阿密了。

She has the address of his childhood home.

她有他兒時家的地址。

She meets his whole family.

她見到了他的全家。

They completely embrace her.

他們完全擁抱了她。

Is the point of this song that you saw Domingo in Miami?

這首歌的重點是你在邁阿密見到了多明戈嗎？

No, the point is it is hot to go.

不，問題的關鍵是它熱到要走了。

D-O-M-I-N-G-O.

D-O-M-I-N-G-O。

Kelsey's learning Espanol.

凱爾西在學西班牙語

D-O-M-I-N-G-O.

D-O-M-I-N-G-O。

Spends all day on Duolingo.

整天泡在 Duolingo 上。

I knew I heard you speaking Spanish in the bathroom.

我就知道我聽到你在廁所裡說西班牙語了。

Escuchate, Mateo.

埃斯庫查特，馬特奧

We don't know where Kelsey's been.

我們不知道凱爾西去了哪裡。

Look her up on Find My Friend.

在 "尋找我的朋友 "上查找她。

She's standing in the ocean like she don't give a damn.

她站在海里，好像根本不在乎。

Then she pulls out the sonogram.

然後她拿出了超音波圖。

She says we came to Miami because she found out the paternity.

她說我們來邁阿密是因為她發現了父子關係。

The doctor says it is twins.

醫生說是雙胞胎。

And what is Matthew's?

馬修的是什麼？

And what is Domingo's?

多明戈的是什麼？

That is biologically impossible.

這在生物學上是不可能的。

Okay, miracles happen every day.

好吧，奇蹟每天都在發生。

I'm going to ask you a question, and I want you to be honest with me.

我要問你一個問題，我希望你對我說實話。

When was the last time you saw Domingo?

你最後一次見到多明戈是什麼時候？

It is today!

就是今天！

Hey, my brother, aren't you happy?

嘿，我的兄弟，你不開心嗎？

Direct from Domingo, we both are daddies.

多明戈直接說，我們都是爸爸。

Domingo gonna be in your life forever.

多明戈會永遠留在你的生命中

We'll raise our babies in Miami together!

我們將在邁阿密一起撫養我們的孩子！

Wait, we're moving to Miami?

等等，我們要搬去邁阿密？

Yeah, if you want to co-parent.

是啊，如果你想共同撫養孩子的話。

Matt, can we have a water birth? I have a hot tub!

馬特，我們能在水裡生孩子嗎？我有個熱水浴缸

5, 6, 7, 8!

5, 6, 7, 8!

B-O-M-I-N-G-O!

B-O-M-I-N-G-O！