Name: 第 50 次親密接觸 - SNL50 (Close Encounter 50th – SNL50)
Uploaded: 2025-02-17T13:46:44.000Z
Duration: 8 min 44 s

基礎被動語態

Thank you all for coming. I'm General Fairfax with the U.S. Space Force. This is Dr. Tyler from SETI. We are eager to talk to you, as you have all experienced a verified alien abduction. This is wild. One minute we're three friends slamming Miller Tallboys behind a Dollar Tree, now we're sitting at the Pentagon. Hey, I've been meaning to ask, like, why do you call it the Pentagon when it's only got five sides? Because a shape with five sides is called the Pentagon. I don't think that's right. We'll look into it. Now, let's start with how you were all brought aboard the spacecraft. Well, this beam of light appeared from the bottom of the ship, floated me up like a soft hand, beckoning me. Same, same. And we met these two beautiful, glowing aliens who took our hands and said, welcome. I've never felt so safe. And you, Ms. Rafferty? Yeah, a little different for me. I was less cradled by light and more grabbed by a giant rusty claw, which yanked me right out of my slacks. So I'm pantsless, right? I'm folded in half like a wallet, nips to knees. I'm getting winced skyward with my vagety and my tragedy, flapping in the breeze. And I'm tossed into the bottom of the ship. I see my old pals, the gray aliens with the big dumb eyes. Ms. Rafferty, I'm told this is your fifth time being abducted by these gray aliens? Yeah. Only other place I've been pantsless five times is Six Flags. Okay, well, let's move past that. Now, what happened next in the upper part of the ship? Well, the smart aliens bathed us in this glowing liquid that erased all my pain. My bad knee didn't even hurt. I busted it a few years back playing paintball. Competitive. Okay, don't know why you winked at me after saying that, but let's continue. Were you also bathed in this light, sir? Yes, ma'am. It felt better than any drug, including the ones I'm on right now. Okay, see, now that really tweaks my cheeks because down in steerage, the mood was tense.

感謝各位的到來我是美國太空部隊的費爾法克斯將軍這位是SETI的泰勒博士我們很想和你們談談 因為你們都經歷過外星人綁架事件太瘋狂了前一分鐘我們還是三個朋友 在一元樹後面喝著米勒啤酒 現在我們卻坐在五角大樓了嘿 我一直想問 為什麼五角大樓只有五條邊 你卻叫它五角大樓?因為有五條邊的形狀就叫五角大樓我覺得不對我們會調查清楚的。先說說你們是怎麼被帶上飛船的吧這束光從飛船底部出現 把我帶上去 就像一隻柔軟的手 在向我招手一樣一樣我們遇到了兩個美麗的發光的外星人 他們握著我們的手 說歡迎我們的到來我從未感到如此安全你

轉承詞

Strange. Now, what do you think could have caused this reaction? Well, between you, me, and Jesus, see, I think it had to do with the state of my down there hair. Because remember,

真奇怪你覺得是什麼引起了這種反應？在你我和耶穌之間 我覺得這和我下面的頭髮有關因為記住

情態副詞

I'm Donald Duck in it, okay? Shirt, no pants. So my poke bowl and my smokey hole are out, and pubically speaking, nature has reclaimed the earth. Last time I had a Brazilian down there was 2002. His name was Diego, and he got strep throat. Who mows the lawn in winter, am I right? Amen. Okay, I'll ask you maybe not to say amen to that kind of comment.

我穿著唐老鴨，好嗎？有襯衫沒褲子所以我的捅碗和煙燻窟都不在了 從公開的角度來說，大自然已經收回了大地上次我請巴西人來是2002年他叫迭戈，得了鏈球菌病誰會在冬天修剪草坪，對吧？阿門好吧，我請你不要對這種評論說 "阿門"。

Mr. Afferty, I'm failing to see what your unkempt private area has to do with the alien's demeanor.

阿弗蒂先生，我看不出你那不修邊幅的私處和外星人的舉止有什麼關係。

Okay, my theory is I think they thought it was an animal. Because, wait, Kermit, do you mind?

好吧，我的理論是 他們以為那是隻動物因為，等等，柯密特，你介意嗎？

Here, look. First, they didn't know if it was friendly, so they're cautious, and they're kind of, they're going up, tapping it, and then going. And then, then the alpha comes in, and he challenges it, right? He goes like this.

看這裡首先，它們不知道它是不是友好的 所以它們很謹慎 它們有點，它們上去，拍拍它，然後走了然後，然後阿爾法來了， 他挑戰它，對不對？它是這樣的

And then, so he gives a thumbs up, like, we're good, it's tame. And then, whoa, it's playtime. And then one of them, sorry, Dusty, you mind? One of them comes up under it, puts it on like a wig. He's doing this, he's like doing prop comedy. And then another one, he's trying to, he's so excited, he's like wrestling with it. Like it's his brother pulling me all around the room. So I look down, I see a guy between my legs with a smile on his face, and I'm like, I don't know, first time for everything. Amen. Okay, again, not a thing to say amen to. Anyway, this goes on about 15 minutes until who comes through the door but my friggin' mother, Colleen Senior. Yes, we actually had some questions for her as well.

然後，他豎起大拇指，好像說，我們很好，它很溫順。然後 哇 遊戲時間到了然後其中一個，對不起，塵土飛揚，你介意嗎？其中一個人走到它下面 像戴假髮一樣戴上它他就像在演道具喜劇然後另一個，他試圖， 他是如此興奮， 他喜歡摔跤吧。就像他弟弟拉著我滿屋子轉一樣我低頭一看，我看到一個人在我兩腿之間 臉上帶著微笑 我就想，我不知道，凡事都有第一次阿門好吧，還是那句話，阿門可不好說。總之，這樣持續了大約15分鐘 直到誰從門外走了進來 除了我那該死的媽媽，科琳-賽尼爾是的，我們也有問題要問她

我在這裡，我在這裡，我在這裡。

Sorry, sorry, my bathroom break took longer than I thought. My number one turned into a number three.

對不起，對不起，我上廁所的時間比我想象的要長。我的一號變成了三號

Mega milf alert. Sir, let's nod. Now, Mrs. Rafferty, you had been abducted earlier that same evening? Yep, us Rafferty gals, we always attracted the freaks. For years,

巨乳警報先生，我們點頭吧。拉費蒂夫人 你在當晚早些時候被綁架過嗎是的 我們拉費蒂家的姑娘們 總是吸引著那些怪胎很多年了

I thought Colleen's father was part alien, but turns out he was just uncircumcised.

我還以為科琳的父親有外星人的血統，原來他只是沒有割包皮。

Amen. You gotta, you gotta stop. Please, stop. Stop. Anyways, I still had my pants on when they took me, but that was good because much like her, I got a into the woods sort of a situation.

阿門你得，你得停下來。請停下來住手總之，他們抓我的時候，我還穿著褲子 不過這很好，因為我和她一樣，也遇到了進森林的情況

My ex used to say that it was like trying to hack his way through the black forest.

我的前男友曾說，這就像在黑森林裡砍柴。

Okay, I feel like we're off track. You said that after arriving on the ship, the aliens lost interest and quote, stuck you in a closet? Yeah, yeah, can you believe that?

好吧，我覺得我們偏離了軌道。你說到了飛船上之後 外星人失去了興趣 引用一句話 把你困在了壁櫥裡？是啊，是啊，你相信嗎？

I mean, hey, I'm used to being stuffed into closets, but it's usually, you know, when the guy's wife comes home late or something, or early or whatever. Anyway, so I'm, all of a sudden I hear the screaming, this one, and so I just kind of, just kind of bust out of that. I just bust out and I just kicked those little, I just kicked those little pervs away.

我的意思是，嘿，我已經習慣了被塞進壁櫥， 但它通常是，你知道，當男人的妻子 回家晚了什麼的， 或早期或什麼的。總之，我突然聽到尖叫聲 我就從裡面衝了出來我一腳踢飛了那些小混蛋 我一腳踢飛了那些小混蛋

Wow, you are a good mama. Yeah, well, a good mother can also be a bad girl.

哇，你真是個好媽媽是啊，好媽媽也可能是壞女孩。

What's your name, mustache? Okay, can we not do any of that right now, please. How, how did you all exit the spacecraft? That same soft light picked me up and placed me back in my bed.

你叫什麼名字，小鬍子？好了，我們現在能不能不做這些事？你們是怎麼離開飛船的？那束柔和的光把我抱起來 放回我的床上

Me too. That light even tucked me in, which was so thoughtful of it. And how did you two

我也是那盞燈還幫我蓋了被子，真是太體貼了。你們兩個

Well, in the past, I've just been pushed out of a hatch, but this time, that's what happened too.

過去，我只是被推出艙門，但這次也是如此。

Yeah, but my pants got snagged on a piece of metal, so they're gone. And then, uh, as for underwear, underwear-wise, you know, this devil wears nada. I mean, I don't know, I don't, I don't know, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't,

是的，但我的褲子被一塊金屬卡住了 所以就沒了然後，呃，至於內衣，內衣方面， 你知道，這個魔鬼什麼都不穿。我是說，我不知道，我不知道，我不知道，我不知道，我不知道，我不知道，我不知道，我不知道，我不知道，我不知道，我不知道，我不知道，我不知道，我不知道，我不知道，我不知道，我不知道，我不知道，我不知道，我不知道，我不知道，我不知道，我不知道，我不知道，我不知道，我不知道，我不知道，我不知道，我不知道，我不知道，我不知道，我不知道、

As for underwear, underwear-wise, you know, this devil wears nada.

至於內衣，你知道，這個魔鬼什麼都不穿。

Basically, we just, uh, kind of, it was a free fall for 40 feet with our carpets and our tar pits on full display. Yeah, we crashed through a ceiling, we land ass up on top of Phil McDermott.

基本上，我們就像自由落體一樣 從40英尺高的地方摔下來 我們的地毯和焦油坑都暴露無遺是啊，我們撞穿了天花板 我們屁股著地，壓在菲爾-麥克德莫特身上

Yeah. Who is Phil McDermott? He's a gentleman whose family, I bet, wish they went with the clothes casket funeral. Not the worst thing my mom and I have done in a church. Okay, let's, let's, please, let's not finish that story at all. Thank you for your candor. We're going to take you for some psychological tests now. Oh, we'll save you the trouble. Fail.

是的菲爾-麥克德莫特是誰？他是一位紳士，我敢打賭，他的家人， 希望他們去的衣服棺材葬禮。這不是我和我媽在教堂做的最糟糕的事了好吧，讓我們，讓我們，請， 讓我們不要完成這個故事。謝謝你的坦誠我們現在要帶你去做一些心理測試哦，那我們就不麻煩你了失敗