Hey, how was it?

嘿，怎麼樣？

Well, I had a great time.

嗯，我玩得很開心。

Chauncey, on the other hand, I will tell the story.

而恰恰相反，我會講故事。

It was going great.

一切都很順利。

I let him win.

我讓他贏了

We were bonding.

我們在一起

He even said that I could call him Dad.

他甚至說我可以叫他爸爸。

And what did he ask you?

他問了你什麼？

Not to call him?

不給他打電話？

Daddy.

爸爸

All right, look.

好了 聽著

Here's the story.

故事是這樣的

Well, we had just finished playing racquetball and we were going to take a steam.

我們剛打完壁球，正準備去蒸三溫暖。

I walk into the steam room and it's really steamy.

我走進蒸汽房，裡面熱氣騰騰。

So I take off my glasses and that's when it happened. Over here.

於是我摘下眼鏡，事情就發生了。 在這裡

Have a seat, son.

請坐，孩子

Hey.

嘿。

Oh my God, Chandler.

天啊 錢德

I can't believe it.

我簡直不敢相信。

I know.

我知道

You gave my father a lap dance.

你給我父親跳過大腿舞

Why did they put so much steam in there?

為什麼要放這麼多蒸汽？

Because otherwise they'd have to call it the room room.

否則，他們就得叫它 "房間 "了。

Why?

為什麼？

Okay, why?

好吧，為什麼？

Why did that have to happen?

為什麼會這樣？

Come on.

來吧

It's not that big a deal.

這沒什麼大不了的。

Not that big a deal.

沒什麼大不了的。

There was touching of things.

有一些東西被觸摸到了。

Chandler, I know you wanted to bond with my dad, but did you really have to bond to that part?

錢德，我知道你想和我爸爸結合，但你真的非得和那部分結合嗎？

Listen, I'm sure that dad doesn't care.

聽著，我相信爸爸並不在乎。

He probably thought this was really funny.

他可能覺得這真的很有趣。

He'll be telling this story for years.

他會把這個故事講上好幾年。

I don't want him to tell this story for years.

我不想讓他把這個故事說上好幾年。

But he will.

但他會的。

He still tells the story about how Monica tried to escape from fat camp.

他還在講述莫妮卡如何試圖逃離肥胖營的故事。

I wasn't escaping.

我沒有逃跑

Then how'd you get caught in the barbed wire?

那你怎麼會被鐵絲網纏住？

I was trying to help out a squirrel.

我只是想幫助一隻松鼠。

You were trying to eat it.

你想吃掉它

If that is your father calling to tell this story, then the marriage is off.

如果這是你父親打來的電話，那麼這樁婚事就泡湯了。

Come on.

來吧

Hello?

喂？

I'm sorry, you have the wrong number.

對不起，您打錯了。

Okay, I'll call you later, dad.

好吧，我晚點再打給你，爸爸。

Love you.

愛你

Alright, I'm off to see your dad.

好了，我要去看你爸爸了

Whoa, whoa.

哇哦 哇哦

Aren't you a little overdressed?

你是不是穿得有點多了？

Yeah, and you better make sure he tips you this time.

是啊，你最好確保他這次給你小費。

Look, I figured I would try to convince him not to tell the story anymore.

聽著，我想我會說服他不要再講這個故事了。

And I figured the best way to do that was face to face.

我想最好的辦法就是面對面。

And by face, I don't mean his lap.

我說的 "臉 "不是指他的大腿。

And by face, I don't mean my ass.

我說的臉，不是指我的屁股。

So you understand, I'd feel a lot more comfortable if you didn't tell people what happened.

所以你要明白，如果你不告訴別人發生了什麼，我會感覺舒服很多。

You know, I'm a little embarrassed about it.

你知道，我有點不好意思。

I understand completely.

我完全理解。

There's nothing more horrifying than embarrassing yourself in front of your in-laws.

沒有什麼比在公婆面前出醜更可怕的了。

As a matter of fact, when I started dating Judy, I was unemployed.

事實上，當我開始和朱迪約會時，我還沒有工作。

And her father asked me what I did for a living, and I told him I was a lawyer.

她父親問我是幹什麼的，我說我是律師。

What did you do when they found out?

他們發現後，你做了什麼？

They never did.

他們從未這樣做過。

So if you ever see me giving them legal advice, just nod along.

所以，如果你看到我給他們提供法律建議，就點點頭吧。

Doubt?

懷疑？

So, I guess we wear swimsuits in here.

所以，我猜我們在這裡穿泳裝。