It was like my first time there.

這就像我第一次去那裡一樣。

Or not my first time, but a first time in a long time.

或者說，這不是我的第一次，而是很久以來的第一次。

When was that?

什麼時候的事？

This was about like two and a half months ago.

這大概是兩個半月前的事了。

Okay.

好的

And I was really excited for this big trip and I got to visit my friend who's starting grad school at NYU.

這次旅行讓我非常興奮，我可以去看望我的朋友，她正在紐約大學讀研究所學生。

And for some reason, once we were walking down the street and out of nowhere I got like this feeling of anxiety in my stomach.

不知道為什麼，有一次我們走在街上，我的胃裡突然有種焦慮的感覺。

And I was like, oh, this is really weird.

我當時想，哦，這真的很奇怪。

Like I haven't felt anxiety in years.

好像我已經很多年沒有感到焦慮了。

Like I wonder what it's coming from.

就像我想知道它是從哪裡來的一樣。

I hope it doesn't come.

我希望它不會來。

Like all the typical thoughts that come with anxiety.

就像所有焦慮帶來的典型想法一樣。

That was pretty.

真漂亮

Out of nowhere, you just said there was a storm of anxiety.

你剛才突然說有一場焦慮風暴。

Yeah, and then I tried to dive into it later.

是的，後來我試著深入研究了一下。

For some reason it made me feel very anxious and insignificant and just like, wow, there's so many.

出於某種原因，這讓我感到非常焦慮和渺小，就像，哇，有這麼多的人。

Like why does it matter if I sit on this bench or if I don't sit on this bench?

比如說，我坐不坐這個長凳有什麼關係？

Or why does it matter if I wear these shoes or other shoes or if I say this thing or not this thing?

或者說，我穿這雙鞋還是其他鞋，我說這句話還是不說這句話，又有什麼關係呢？

So that's kind of where it started growing.

這就是它開始成長的地方。

And then it started growing more into like more existential thoughts of like, who am I even?

然後，它開始發展成更多的存在主義思想，比如，我到底是誰？

Or like, why are we even here?

或者說，我們為什麼會在這裡？

Or like, what's the point of anything?

或者說，這有什麼意義？

At this point, as a therapist, I feel a bit bewildered.

此時此刻，作為一名治療師，我感到有些困惑。

One thing I know for certain is that this sudden attack of existential angst does not come out of nowhere.

我可以肯定的一點是，這種突然發作的生存焦慮並非憑空而來。

It's inconceivable that life could have been going entirely well for her and then suddenly, suddenly this out of the blue attack.

難以想象，她的生活本來一切順利，卻突然遭到突然襲擊。

So we've got to begin to track it down.

是以，我們必須開始追查。

One outstanding characteristic of the attack is her sense of insignificance, which is triggered by being in a large city.

襲擊的一個突出特點是她的渺小感，這種渺小感是由身處大城市引發的。

However, she grew up in a large city in Los Angeles and we're going to need to start investigating the meaning of this.

不過，她是在洛杉磯的一個大城市長大的，我們需要開始調查這其中的含義。

As I start to try to take some history from you in our first sessions, there was this puzzle that you had been extremely happy in your life.

在我們的第一次談話中，我開始嘗試從你那裡瞭解一些歷史，你的生活一直非常幸福，這是個難題。

You had had a very good life and nothing bad had ever happened to you.

你過得很好，沒有發生過任何不好的事情。

So that was the way I got.

於是我就這樣了。

But the way- That's how I would agree with all of that stuff.

但方式--這就是我同意所有這些東西的方式。

You'd agree.

你會同意的。

But then as I experienced it, as we went along, things started to change in that way.

但隨著我的經歷，隨著我們的前進，事情開始發生了這樣的變化。

You know, you related to me that, you know, you never even had a fall off your bicycle, that you had good relationships with everyone.

你跟我說，你騎自行車從來沒摔過跤，跟每個人的關係都很好。

Your childhood had been perfect and maybe that's why this was scaring you so much because everything had been so perfect.

你的童年是完美的，也許這就是為什麼這讓你如此害怕，因為一切都那麼完美。

But then, over these last few sessions, other things started to come up as we talked.

但是，在過去的幾節課裡，我們在交談中開始提到其他事情。

I began to get the feeling that you really weren't that happy as a child.

我開始覺得，你小時候真的不是那麼快樂。

There were a lot of unhappy things going on, especially, you know, last week when we talked about this brace that you had to wear for three years and how awful that was and how humiliating it was for you in gym class and things like that.

發生了很多不開心的事情，尤其是上週我們談到你不得不戴了三年的支架，那是多麼可怕，在體育課上對你來說是多麼羞辱，諸如此類的事情。

And then I've also, we haven't explored this in greater depth, but also the things you're not always very happy at home.

我們還沒有更深入地探討過這個問題，但我也知道你在家裡並不總是很開心。

Your mother was a pretty unhappy woman and she was pretty restrictive and- I think she was happy, she was just worried.

你母親是個很不快樂的女人，她很拘束，我覺得她很快樂，只是很擔心。

I don't know if unhappy is the word.

我不知道該不該用 "不開心 "這個詞。

If she hears a rustling outside in the yard and thinks that somebody's gonna be dead, you know, this sounds like there's, that she is- She doesn't really, it's weird to me because she really does worry a lot, but I would never in my life think of her as unhappy because she's so happy, but she's worried.

如果她聽到外面院子裡有沙沙聲 覺得有人會死掉，你知道，這聽起來就像 她真的不擔心，這對我來說很奇怪 因為她真的很擔心，但我這輩子都不會覺得她不開心 因為她很開心，但她很擔心