What had originally seemed like a clear-cut and soundly based decision can, after a few weeks or months, come under fresh scrutiny and inspire intense doubt, regret, shame, insomnia and, at points, hurried attempts to reverse a decision.

原本看似一目瞭然、有理有據的決定，在幾周或幾個月後，可能會受到新的審視，並引發強烈的懷疑、後悔、羞愧、失眠，有時甚至會匆忙試圖推翻決定。

For example, a few months ago, it seemed absolutely right to end our relationship.

例如，幾個月前，結束我們的關係似乎是完全正確的。

We had the partner's faults clearly in view, and we were certain that these made any sensible plans for the future untenable.

我們清楚地看到了伴侶的缺點，而且我們確信，這些缺點使得任何合理的未來計劃都是站不住腳的。

But now we're no longer so sure.

但現在我們不再那麼肯定了。

We've been on a few dates, and they didn't go too well.

我們約會過幾次，但都不太順利。

We've been by ourselves a lot, and as we've been doing the laundry or walking around the park we've started to remember how funny and clever, sweet and tender our ex could be.

我們經常一個人待著，在洗衣服或逛公園的時候，我們開始想起我們的前任是多麼風趣、聰明、可愛和溫柔。

Still wondering whether we should, despite our original recommendation that neither of us should be in touch for a while, perhaps send them a falsely innocent text tonight.

我還在想，儘管我們最初的建議是暫時不要聯繫，但今晚是否應該給他們發一條虛假的無辜簡訊。

Or, last summer we knew we didn't have a particularly good time at the beach-side resort, and vowed to stick to a cooler climate next time.

或者說，去年夏天，我們知道自己在海濱度假勝地過得並不特別愉快，於是發誓下次一定要去氣候涼爽的地方。

But since then the weather has turned very cold, and just recently we're finding ourselves curious about returning south next year.

但自那以後，天氣變得非常寒冷，就在最近，我們發現自己對明年返回南方充滿了好奇。

Or, we told ourselves that we were fully done with a particular career, but we've been reflecting on matters since, and happened to bump into an old colleague last week, and are now wondering whether we shouldn't maybe make another attempt.

或者，我們告訴自己已經完全結束了某項職業，但之後我們一直在反思，上週碰巧遇到了一位老同事，現在又在想我們是否應該再做一次嘗試。

Or, a friend from university has suggested a meal.

或者，大學裡的朋友提議吃一頓飯。

We found them rather self-centred and dull when we last saw them a decade ago, but they sounded sparky in their invitation, and we've agreed to meet them for lunch near the station next week.

十年前我們最後一次見到他們時，我們覺得他們相當自我中心和沉悶，但他們的邀請聽起來很有火花，我們同意下週在車站附近與他們共進午餐。

In such instances it can be useful to keep a broad principle in mind.

在這種情況下，牢記一個廣泛的原則可能是有益的。

The further away we stand from the moment when we took a decision, the more our judgement is likely to be clouded and corrupted.

我們離做出決定的那一刻越遠，我們的判斷就越有可能被矇蔽和腐蝕。

And this is because of a feature of our minds that in most areas serves us extremely well – our capacity to let go of pain.

這是因為我們的思維有一個特點，在大多數情況下都能很好地為我們服務，那就是我們能夠放下痛苦。

The very faculty that means we can effectively mourn the death of a pet or a loved one, or get over a bankruptcy or endure a drop in income, also means that we are likely to revise our views of an ex we worked very sensibly to eject from our lives, or that we will know within five minutes of re-meeting an acquaintance that they are as maddening as they ever were.

這意味著我們可以有效地哀悼寵物或親人的離世，或走出破產的陰影，或忍受收入的下降，這也意味著我們很可能會改變我們對前任的看法，我們曾非常理智地把他從我們的生活中趕走，或者我們會在與熟人重逢的五分鐘內就知道他們一如既往地令人抓狂。

We pick apart and dissolve our judgements because we cannot keep a clear eye on the powerful incentives we come under to do so, because we don't notice how indigestible certain truths have become.

我們挑剔和消解自己的判斷，是因為我們不能清醒地認識到我們這樣做的強大動力，是因為我們沒有注意到某些真理已經變得多麼難以消化。

We abdicate to doubt under intolerable, irrepressible degrees of loneliness and sadness, isolation and confusion.

我們在無法忍受、無法抑制的孤獨與悲傷、孤立與困惑中放棄了懷疑。

Of course, we are going to start to question our views of our ex's strengths and weaknesses after seven weekends substantially on our own, being humiliated on dating apps.

當然，在自己一個人在約會軟體上被羞辱了七個週末之後，我們會開始質疑自己對前任優缺點的看法。

Of course, we won't remember our friend's dispiriting character when we were so loved to have a flourishing social life.

當然，在我們愛得如火如荼的社交生活中，我們不會記得朋友那萎靡不振的性格。

When we wake up and wonder if we have been unfair or hasty, the sternest, most reasonable part of us should know to grab the controls and ask whether a revision to our views is likely to be accurate or simply convenient.

當我們一覺醒來，懷疑自己是否有失公允或操之過急時，我們最嚴厲、最理智的部分應該知道抓住控制權，問一問對我們觀點的修正是否可能是準確的，或者僅僅是方便的。

Despite all the pressures we are under to believe otherwise, we should place our faith in the wisdom of a well-worn dictum.

儘管我們面臨著種種壓力，不得不信奉相反的觀點，但我們還是應該相信一句老生常談的箴言的智慧。

Trust what you knew then, not what you feel now.

相信你當時所知道的，而不是你現在的感覺。