For the discerning passenger.

為挑剔的乘客而設

We're not in Kansas anymore.

我們已經不在堪薩斯州了

Ta-ta.

嗒嗒

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.

早上好，女士們先生們。

We are about to begin boarding South Northern Airlines flight 34 to Grand Rapids.

我們即將登上南方北方航空公司飛往大急流城的 34 號班機。

Okay, excuse me.

好吧，對不起。

Boarding group one.

第一登機組

I'm going to board in group one.

我要在第一組登機。

Excuse me.

打擾一下

Boarding group one.

第一登機組

And we would like to begin pre-boarding with our first class passengers.

現在開始為頭等艙乘客辦理登機手續。

First class passengers only, please.

請僅乘坐頭等艙。

Next, our business class passengers may now board.

接下來，我們的商務艙乘客可以登機了。

Okay, now we would like to welcome our Regal Alliance Elite members.

好了，現在我們歡迎富豪聯盟精英會員。

Regal Alliance Elite members.

富豪聯盟精英會員。

Okay, now all passengers with children.

好了，現在請所有帶孩子的乘客上車。

Anyone with small children, you may board now.

帶小孩的乘客可以登機了。

Okay, we would like to continue boarding with uniformed military personnel.

好的，我們想繼續讓軍警人員登機。

What? Why can't...this is...

什麼？為什麼不能......這是......

Thank you for your service.

感謝您的服務。

Thank you so much for your service. God bless you.

非常感謝你們的服務。願上帝保佑你們。

Thank you for your service.

感謝您的服務。

Thank you for your service.

感謝您的服務。

All right, people in wheelchairs.

好了，坐輪椅的人。

Any priests, nuns, rabbis, imams?

有牧師、修女、拉比、伊瑪目嗎？

What? Why do they get special treatment?

什麼？為什麼他們會得到特殊待遇？

As-salamu alaykum.

願你安好。

I've never...

我從未...

That's typical.

這很典型。

Any old people in wheelchairs with babies?

有老人帶著嬰兒坐輪椅嗎？

Any old religious people with military babies?

有宗教老人帶著軍人的孩子嗎？

What's a military?

什麼是軍隊？

Thank you for your service.

感謝您的服務。

Jason Schwartzman.

傑森-施瓦茨曼

Anyone with a blue suitcase, you may now board.

請攜帶藍色行李箱的乘客登機。

Finally.

最後

No, not you, sir.

不，不是你，先生。

Not me. This is a blue suitcase.

不是我這是一個藍色手提箱

That's a blue computer bag.

那是一個藍色的電腦包。

So you're not going to let me on, then?

那你是不讓我上車了？

Damn it! Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it! God damn it!

該死該死，該死，該死，該死，該死！真該死

Anyone who doesn't seem cranky.

任何看起來不暴躁的人。

Drunk people, you will now be boarding any drunk people.

醉漢們，你們現在可以登上任何醉漢的船了。

Drunk people.

喝醉的人

No, it's my bag, sir.

不，這是我的包，先生。

Just...

只是...

Hello?

喂？

Oh, hey, Christian.

哦 嘿 克里斯蒂安

Yeah.

是啊

Totally.

完全是

Well, you have your favorites and I have my favorites.

你有你的最愛，我也有我的最愛。

Okay.

好的

Call you later.

稍後再打給你

Ciao, ciao.

Ciao, ciao.

Boarding group one.

第一登機組

I got him!

我抓到他了

I got Schwartzman here!

施瓦茨曼來了

Hey, everyone. Jason Schwartzman's live!

大家好傑森-施瓦茨曼在直播

We got Jason Schwartzman. Let's wrap it up, people.

我們有傑森-施瓦茨曼大家收工吧

Boarding group one over here.

這裡是第一登機組

To the boarding group one.

前往第一登機組。

Bernard, he's disgusting.

伯納德，他真噁心

He doesn't like this. He's an airport technician. I mean, come on.

他不喜歡這樣他是機場技術員我是說，拜託

And he talks too much.

而且他話太多了。

I like you. You don't talk. You just listen. It's good.

我喜歡你你不說話。你只是聽。這很好

And the captain has turned on the fasten seat belt sign.

機長打開了繫好安全帶的指示燈。

Got a little turbulence coming up. Should be no problem.

馬上就有亂流了應該沒問題

Just remain in your seat until the sign is turned off.

請留在座位上，直到指示牌關閉。

Thank you for your cooperation.

感謝您的合作。

Okay.

好的

Excuse me, I'm going to the bathroom.

對不起，我去一下洗手間。

Hi. Excuse me.

嗨，打擾一下

Yeah?

是嗎？

I need you to take your seat. The fasten seat belt sign is on.

請坐下繫好安全帶的標誌已經亮起

I'm just going to go to the bathroom for a second. I'll be right back, okay?

我去一下洗手間我馬上回來，好嗎？

I understand what you want to do.

我明白你想做什麼。

Unfortunately, I'm going to need you to observe the fasten seat belt sign.

不幸的是，我需要你注意繫好安全帶的標誌。

That would be much appreciated.

非常感謝。

I read on the internet that it's not against the law for me to go to the bathroom while the fasten seat belt sign is on.

我在網上看到，繫好安全帶的標誌亮起時，我去洗手間並不違法。

Seat belt sign is on.

安全帶指示燈亮起。

But is it against the law, though?

但這樣做違法嗎？

The light is on.

燈亮了。

Is it against the law?

這違法嗎？

No, but is it against the law, though?

沒有，但這違法嗎？

The fasten seat belt sign is on.

繫好安全帶的指示燈亮起。

But is it against the law, though?

但這樣做違法嗎？

The seat belt sign is on.

安全帶指示燈亮起。

But is it against the law?

但這違法嗎？

But is it against the law?

但這違法嗎？

Legal.

法律

Lawful.

合法。

Law.

法律

Law, law, law.

法律、法律、法律

Not illegal.

不違法。

Legal.

法律

Sir, I have to piss and I have to s*** in the toilet.

先生，我要小便，我要在廁所裡****。

Can you lower your voice?

你能小點聲嗎？

I have to piss and I have to s***.

我得小便，我得****。

Okay, lower your intensity.

好吧，降低強度。

You're louder than me.

你比我還大聲

You're yelling in my face.

你對著我的臉大喊大叫

Sir, you're the one who I think needs to tone it down right now.

先生，我覺得你才是現在需要收斂一下的人。

You are screaming at me.

你在對我尖叫

You're hurting my eardrums.

你弄疼我的耳膜了。

That wasn't a word. You're not saying a word there.

那不是一個字。你什麼都沒說

This is a word.

這是一個詞。

That's not a word. That's a tongue trick.

這不是一個詞。那是個舌頭把戲

Okay, sir, sir, sir.

好的，先生，先生，先生

If you would like to.

如果您願意

I would not like to.

我不願意。

I would not like to sit down.

我不想坐下。

What I'd like to do is go take a s*** in the bathroom.

我想做的是去衛生間大便。

Because it's not against the law.

因為這並不違法。

So I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

我去下洗手間

Okay?

好嗎？

Mark.

馬克

With a K.

帶 K。

Oh, my God.

我的天啊

Oh, my God.

我的天啊

Oh, my God.

我的天啊

Oh, my God.

我的天啊

Oh, my God.

我的天啊

And your captain has turned off the fasten seatbelt sign.

你們的機長已經關閉了繫好安全帶的指示燈。

Feel free to move around the cabin.

請隨意在機艙內走動。

Excuse me.

打擾一下

Oh, excuse me, sir.

哦，對不起，先生。

Are you sitting in 26G?

你坐在 26G 位置嗎？

Yes.

是的。

Have I done something wrong?

我做錯了什麼嗎？

No, no, no, no.

不，不，不，不

We just wanted to ask if you would mind switching seats so that a mother and a child could sit together.

我們只想問您是否介意調換座位，讓母親和孩子坐在一起。

But I'm back there.

但我還是回來了。

Right, yeah, but you'd actually be sitting here.

對，是的，但你會真的坐在這裡。

Which is an economy plus.

這是一個經濟優勢。

It's actually an upgrade.

這實際上是一種升級。

Upgrade, you say?

你說升級？

Economy plus?

經濟艙？

Yes, sir.

是的，先生。

Oh.

哦。

Don't mind if I do.

別介意。

Great, great.

好極了

Carry on?

繼續嗎？

Carry on yourself, Alex.

你自己繼續吧，亞歷克斯。

Thank you.

謝謝。

Economy plus?

經濟艙？

For the discerning passenger.

為挑剔的乘客而設

We're not in Kansas anymore.

我們已經不在堪薩斯州了

Ta-toe.

嗒嗒嗒

Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.

女士們，先生們，我是你們的船長。

We should be leaving Topeka in the next ten minutes.

我們應該在十分鐘內離開託皮卡

I stand corrected.

我更正。

Looks like we're going to have a smooth flight.

看來我們的飛行會很順利。

Trust me, I know the captain, and he's one smooth guy.

相信我，我認識船長，他是個很圓滑的人。

Of course he knows the captain.

他當然認識船長

He is the captain.

他是隊長。

Oh, move over, Colin Mockery.

哦，讓一讓，科林-莫克利。

There's a new face in the biz.

商界有了新面孔。

His name is Captain.

他叫船長。

Oh.

哦。

Have to be in economy plus to get it, I guess.

我想，必須乘坐經濟艙才能得到它。

Extra foot room.

額外的腳部空間

One inch at least.

至少一英寸。

Sky shop magazine.

天空商店雜誌。

Don't mind if I do.

別介意。

Oh.

哦。

Dog ear for my convenience.

狗耳朵方便我使用。

Lord of the Rings cups.

魔戒杯

Lord of the Rings tables.

魔戒桌

Oh.

哦。

Oh.

哦。

Oh.

哦。

Holy shiatsu massage.

神聖的指壓按摩

Economy plus.

經濟加

It hurts a little, but I like it.

雖然有點疼，但我喜歡。

Gross butt.

毛屁股

Hmm.

嗯

I thought I had an upgrade.

我以為我升級了。

Hi.

你好。

Yo.

喲。

Hey, yo.

嘿

Hi, y'all.

你們好

Y'all, y'all.

你們，你們

Excuse me?

你說什麼？

Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man.

哦，夥計，哦，夥計，哦，夥計。

I tell you one thing.

我告訴你一件事。

If 9-11's were to happen up on this here plane, don't worry.

如果在這架飛機上發生了 "9-11 "事件，不用擔心。

We got this.

我們得到了這個。

Okay.

好的

Okay, I have no idea what you're talking about.

好吧，我不知道你在說什麼。

He's saying that if them Terrys is going to try something up in here today like the Bounce Boogie and Bump, that we got this on lock.

他是說，如果特瑞斯今天要在這裡表演 "蹦蹦跳 "和 "蹦蹦跳"，那我們就贏定了。

Do you mean terrorists?

你是指恐怖分子嗎？

Hell yeah, baby.

當然，寶貝。

He ain't talking about Terry Gar.

他說的不是特里-加爾。

And I certainly ain't talking about no Terry cloth.

我說的當然不是特里布。

I mean, if a Terry up on this plane, he been thinking about trying to do something, we going to drats him up.

我的意思是，如果一個特里在飛機上， 他一直在想試圖做一些事情， 我們要drats他了。

You're going to what?

你要去什麼地方？

We going to drats him, sklumps.

我們要幹掉他，笨蛋

I think what my partner's trying to say is if any Terrys come up in here, we going to get our bergeron.

我想我的搭檔想說的是 如果有任何特瑞上來 我們就把他幹掉

Yeah.

是啊

Did something happen, or did I miss something that's hypothetical?

是發生了什麼事，還是我錯過了什麼假設性的東西？

Oh, we going to definitely drats some hypotheticals on that Terry's clavicle, because I'm talking about.

哦，我們肯定會在特里的鎖骨上做一些假設，因為我說的就是這個。

Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze.

擠、擠、擠、擠。

Don't you just wish, though?

難道你不希望如此嗎？

Don't you just wish in your heart of hearts some Terry would come up in here trying some grab baths and the touchy-feely.

你是不是打心眼裡希望特里能來這裡，給你洗洗澡，摸摸你的頭。

That's the opposite of what I want to have happen on a plane.

這與我希望在飛機上發生的事情恰恰相反。

Okay.

好的

That's unfortunate.

真是不幸。

Conference.

會議。

This was unexpected.

這出乎我的意料。

It certainly was.

確實如此。

I'm thrown right now as to who's going to be our comrade.

我現在不知道誰會成為我們的同志。

I can still hear you.

我還能聽到你的聲音

He doesn't have the heart nor the gumption.

他沒有這個心，也沒有這個膽。

You're literally right next to me.

你就在我旁邊。

On three.

數到三

Break.

休息

Three.

三個

Yoo-hoo.

Yoo-hoo.

I got an idea.

我有個主意

Feel free to say no.

請隨意拒絕。

But can we switch seats?

但我們能換個座位嗎？

I will not take no for an answer.

我不會接受拒絕。

Why?

為什麼？

That's the combat seat, Jonathan Livingston Segal.

那是戰鬥席位 喬納森-利文斯頓-西格爾

If you going to be in the combat seat, then you got to be willing to blast up on some Terry's.

如果你要坐上戰鬥位置，那麼你就必須願意和特瑞一起戰鬥。

Because with great power comes great response.

因為權力越大，迴應也越大。

Okay, I just wanted some leg room.

好吧，我只是想要一些腿部空間。

Okay, max leg room.

好吧，最大腿部空間。

You get yours.

你會得到你的。

Meanwhile, I'm going to go Hayden Pantinieri on some Terry's.

與此同時，我要去海登-潘蒂尼裡的特里餐廳。

Especially when they get froggy.

尤其是當它們變成青蛙的時候。

Ribbit.

裡比特

Ribbit.

裡比特

You going to have to be ready to kidnap a Terry.

你得準備好綁架特瑞

You going to have to be ready to torture a Terry.

你得做好折磨特瑞的準備。

I don't think that's necessary.

我認為這沒有必要。

Absolutely.

當然可以。

You have to fireboard those mother jammers.

你必須用防火板固定這些母體干擾器。

I don't even understand what that means.

我甚至不明白這意味著什麼。

Do you trust me?

你相信我嗎？

No.

不

I'll take that as a yes.

我就當你同意了。

Okay.

好的

Trust.

信任

These Terry's come up in here trying to act froggy.

這些特瑞人跑到這裡來裝青蛙。

Then we going to give them the rainbow connection.

然後，我們將給他們提供彩虹連接。

Yeah, froggy, froggy, froggy, froggy.

是啊，青蛙，青蛙，青蛙，青蛙。

Box cutter?

盒式切割機？

Oh, you best believe it, baby.

哦，你最好相信它，寶貝。

We going to be eating like Diane Keaton.

我們會吃得像黛安-基頓（Diane Keaton）一樣好。

2.35 inches, baby.

2.35 英寸，嬰兒。

She'll wax.

她會打蠟

Perfectly legal.

完全合法。

And if those don't work, you know I'm working up that plan B, brother.

如果這些都不管用，你知道我正在想B計劃，兄弟。

You have a gun?

你有槍嗎？

Hell yeah.

當然。

3D printer, baby.

3D 打印機，寶貝

100% polyurethane.

100% 聚氨酯。

They can't detect these mama jammers.

它們探測不到這些媽媽干擾器。

That's a weapon.

那是一種武器。

They have a weapon.

他們有武器

They have a weapon.

他們有武器

Who got a weapon?

誰有武器？

Where you at, Terry?

你在哪裡，特里？

Everybody relax.

大家放輕鬆

We taking control of this place.

我們要控制這個地方

Look out, on the right.

小心，在右邊。