Americans to have guns, I'm not trying to stop you from having guns, all I'm saying is this is my personal belief on the opinion, my opinion on the belief, ah, it doesn't matter,

美國人擁有槍支，我並不是要阻止你們擁有槍支，我只是說這是我個人的觀點，我對這種觀點的看法，啊，這並不重要、

I don't like guns, right, I'm going to say some things that are just facts, right, in

我不喜歡槍，對吧，我要說一些事實，對吧，在

Australia we had guns, right, right up until 1996 and in 1996 Australia had the biggest massacre on earth, still hasn't been beaten, and, now after that they banned the guns, now in the 10 years before Port Arthur there was 10 massacres, since the gun ban in 1996 there hasn't been a single massacre since, I don't know how or why this happened, ah, maybe it was a coincidence, right, now please understand that I understand that Australia and America are two vastly different cultures with different people, right, I get it, in

澳洲有槍，對，直到 1996 年，1996 年澳洲發生了地球上最大的大屠殺，至今仍未平息，之後他們禁止了槍支，在亞瑟港事件之前的 10 年裡，發生了 10 起大屠殺，自從 1996 年禁槍之後，就再也沒有發生過一起大屠殺，我不知道這是怎麼發生的，也不知道為什麼會發生，也許是巧合，對，現在請大家理解，我理解澳洲和美國是兩個文化差異巨大的國家，有著不同的人民，對，我明白了，在澳洲，我們有槍，對，直到 1996 年，澳洲發生了地球上最大的大屠殺，至今仍未平息，之後他們禁止了槍支，在亞瑟港事件之前的 10 年裡，

Australia we had the biggest massacre on earth, the Australian government went, that's it, no more guns, and we all went, and we all went, yeah, right then, that seems fair enough to me, now in America you have the Sandy Hook Massacre where little tiny children died and your government went, maybe we'll get rid of the big guns, and 50% of you went, f**k you, don't take my guns, so here's, here's where it gets confusing, right, now as I said I'm all for your Second

澳洲發生了地球上最大的屠殺，澳大利亞政府說，就這樣吧，不要再有槍支了，我們都去了，我們都去了，是的，沒錯，對我來說，這似乎很公平，現在在美國，你們發生了桑迪胡克大屠殺，小小的孩子們死了，你們的政府說，也許我們會取消大型槍支，你們中的 50%的人說，去你媽的，不要拿走我的槍，所以，這裡，這裡就是讓人困惑的地方，對吧，正如我所說的，我支持你們的 "第二憲法"。

Amendment rights, I think you should be able to have guns, it's in your Constitution, what I'm not for is bullshit arguments and lies, there is one argument and one argument alone for having a gun, and this is the argument, f**k off, I like guns, it's not the best argument, but it's all you've got, and there's nothing wrong with it, there's nothing wrong with saying I like something, don't take it away from me, but don't give me this other bullshit, the main one is I need it for protection, I need to protect me, I need to protect my family, really, is that why they're called assault rifles, is it, never heard of these f**king protection rifles you speak of, protection, what the f**k are you talking about, you have a gun in your house, you're 80% more likely to use that gun on yourself than to shoot someone else, and people think, well that had never happened to me, you don't know that, because you know what, from time to time, we all get sad, one day you're happy, then you're sad, and then, protection, I had a break-in in Manchester,

我認為你們應該擁有槍支，這是憲法規定的，但我不贊成狗屁論點和謊言，擁有槍支只有一個論點，這就是 "滾開，我喜歡槍支"、這不是最好的論據，但你只有這個，這沒有錯，說我喜歡某樣東西，別把它從我身邊奪走，這沒有錯，但別給我說其他廢話，最主要的是我需要它來保護，我需要保護我自己，我需要保護我的家人，真的、我需要保護我的家人，真的嗎？ 這就是它們被稱為衝鋒槍的原因嗎？ 從沒聽說過你說的這些該死的保護步槍，保護，你他媽的在說什麼？你用槍指著自己的機率比用槍打別人的機率高80%，人們會想，我從來沒遇到過這種事，你不知道

England, where I was tied up, I had my head cut, they threatened to rape my girlfriend, they came through the window with a machete and a hammer, and Americans always go, well imagine if you had a gun, and I'm like, all right, I was naked at the time, I wasn't wearing my holster, I wasn't staring at the window waiting for cunts with machetes to come through, like what world do you live in, where you're constantly f**king ready, you have guns because you like guns, that's why you go to gun conventions, that's why you read gun magazines, none of you give a s**t about home security, none of you go to home security conventions, none of you read padlock monthly, none of you have a Facebook picture of you behind a secure door going f**king yeah, like you're gonna be ready if someone comes into your house, you have it at all f**king time, by the way, most people who are breaking into your house, just want your f**king TV, you think that people are coming to murder your family, how many f**king enemies do you have, jeez, you think a lot of yourself if you think everyone's coming to murder you, so if you have it readily available, it becomes unsafe, you have it in your bedside table, one of your kids picks it up, thinks it's a toy, shoots another one of your kids, happens every f**king day, people go, that would never happen in my house, because

在英國，我被綁了起來，我的頭被砍了，他們威脅要強姦我的女朋友，他們拿著一把砍刀和一把錘子從窗戶進來，美國人總是說，想象一下，如果你有一把槍，我就會說，好吧，我當時光著身子，我沒有戴槍套，我沒有盯著窗戶等著拿著砍刀的陰戶進來，我就會說，好吧，我當時光著身子，我沒有戴槍套，我沒有盯著窗戶等著拿著砍刀的陰戶進來、就像你們生活在一個什麼樣的世界裡，你們時刻準備著，你們有槍是因為你們喜歡槍，所以你們才去槍支大會，所以你們才看槍支雜誌，你們都不關心家庭安全，你們都不去家庭安全大會，你們都不看掛鎖月刊，你們都沒有在臉書

I'm a responsible gun owner, I keep my guns locked in a safe, then there's no f**king protection, someone comes into the house, you're like, wait there f**k face, oh you've come to the wrong house here buddy boy, I'll tell you what, I'm gonna f**k you up, okay, is it 32 the left or 32 the right, your mother's birthday, why the f**k would I know your f**king mother's birthday, maybe if you didn't leave the window open, because it's too hot in here, we wouldn't be getting f**king murdered right,

我是一個負責任的槍支擁有者，我把槍鎖在保險櫃裡，然後就沒有他媽的保護了，有人進屋，你就會說，等一下，你他媽的臉，哦，你來錯地方了，夥計，我告訴你，我要把你****了、好吧，現在是左32還是右32，你媽媽的生日，我他媽怎麼會知道你他媽媽媽的生日，如果你不開著窗戶，因為這裡太熱，我們就不會被殺了，對吧、

I find the NRA to be hard work, the fact that they always think the answer is more guns, after Sandy

我覺得全國槍支協會的工作很辛苦，他們總是認為答案就是更多的槍支，桑迪事件之後

Hook happened, the NRA said and I quote, none of this would have happened, if the teachers had guns,

胡克事件發生後，全國槍支協會說，如果教師有槍，這一切都不會發生、

I think they're forgetting what school was like, did anyone remember that casual teacher that used to, whenever she came onto school, that relief teacher came, you and your friends would see her and go, oh we're gonna make her cry, and then she's standing in front of the class with a bit of chalk and her hands would be shaking, and you go, you're never getting married are you miss, never gonna happen for you, then she gets back to a 1967 Volkswagen Beetle, she'd be crying over the steering wheel, just why don't they like me, let's give that kind of gun and see how things work out, and then they go, oh we'll answer to that, we'll just add more guns, they go we'll put an armed security guard at every school across America, yeah that'll work out, the average security guard in America earns $16 an hour, not a lot of wiggle room to be a fucking hero, someone comes onto the school and and you've got Kevin, now I'm sure Kevin's shit hot at Call of Duty, but it might not fucking cut it ladies and gentlemen, now I understand that when I'm doing this joke in this room, 50% of you agree with me, 50% of you don't agree with me, and I do respect the people who don't agree with me, don't think I don't, uh the 50% that don't agree with me, 20% of those people are smart enough to realize this is a comedy show and it's not to be taken seriously, and they're laughing along because it's just funny jokes right, and then the next 20% are sort of phased out a little bit and looking around going,

我覺得他們忘了學校是什麼樣子了 有人記得那個隨便的老師嗎 每次她來學校 那個代課老師來了 你和你的朋友看到她就會說 我們要把她弄哭了然後她回到一輛 1967 年的大眾甲殼蟲汽車上，對著方向盤大哭，"為什麼他們不喜歡我，我們就給他們那樣的槍，看看事情會怎麼樣，然後他們會說，哦，我們會解決這個問題的，我們會增加更多的槍支，他們會說，我們會在全美國的每所學校都安排一名武裝保全，是的，會成功的、美國保全的平均時薪為16美元，沒有太多的迴旋餘地去當英雄，有人來到學校，而你有凱文，現在我相信凱文在《使命召喚》裡很厲害

I wonder how they got that chandelier up, and then there's the last 10% and they're fucking furious, right now in this room and the people watching at home, 10% of you are fucking seething, just and for a couple of reasons, first reason, I'm making good points,

我想知道他們是怎麼把吊燈弄上去的，還有最後那 10%的人，他們都他媽的氣瘋了，現在在這個房間裡，還有在家裡看電視的人，你們當中有 10%的人都他媽的氣瘋了，只是出於幾個原因，第一個原因，我說得很有道理、