We'll have gone on courses, read books, hired psychiatrists and psychotherapists, taken medicines, and through this we would have veered between despair and hope that we might eventually be able to achieve a victory over our monsters.

我們上過課程，讀過書，請過心理醫生和精神治療師，吃過藥，在絕望和希望之間徘徊，希望最終能夠戰勝自己的怪獸。

But the more time passes, more we have to take on board a bleaker, unavoidable reality.

但隨著時間的推移，我們不得不接受一個更加暗淡、不可避免的現實。

This thing is here for the long term.

這東西是長期存在的。

In the one life we'll ever have, this is us.

在我們的一生中，這就是我們。

We'll never be rid of the bug.

我們永遠擺脫不了蟲子。

We have a chronic condition of the mind, not an illness.

我們得的是心靈的慢性病，而不是疾病。

So how can we survive this ostensibly extremely dispiriting realisation?

那麼，我們怎樣才能在這種表面看來極其令人沮喪的現實中生存下來呢？

A range of thoughts come to mind.

我想到了一系列想法。

First and foremost, we need a certain mindset, one combining intense doses of pessimism with bleak humour and the most tender compassion.

首先，我們需要一種特定的心態，一種將強烈的悲觀主義、淒涼的幽默和最溫柔的同情結合在一起的心態。

We never asked for this, we didn't do anything especially wrong, it's not a sign of a sinful nature.

我們從來沒有要求這樣，我們也沒有做什麼特別的錯事，這不是罪性的表現。

We can speculate at length about where it comes from, an emotional inheritance, a biological condition, the outcome of certain choices we've made.

我們可以長篇大論地猜測它的來源：情感遺傳、生理條件、我們所做的某些選擇的結果。

It will be a distinctive mixture of all of these and in the grander schemes it may not really matter.

它將是所有這些的獨特混合體，在更大的計劃中，這可能並不重要。

The task is ultimately just to accept that this is the fight of our lives.

歸根結底，我們的任務只是接受這是我們一生的戰鬥。

Against a bleak picture, we need to redraw our horizons and expectations.

面對暗淡的前景，我們需要重新規劃我們的視野和期望。

We're never going to solve the whole problem.

我們永遠無法解決整個問題。

Therefore, we need to be able to particularly celebrate when things aren't especially awful, when we have a good day or two.

是以，當事情不是特別糟糕的時候，當我們有一兩天過得不錯的時候，我們需要能夠特別慶祝。

We know by now that the problems are always going to return, which is why we have no option but to draw maximal satisfaction when, every now and then, we go through a steady and coherent passage.

我們現在已經知道，問題總是會捲土重來，這就是為什麼我們別無選擇，只能時不時地通過一個穩定而連貫的通道來獲得最大的滿足感。

We need to become the sort of people who can say, without irony or bitterness, Wednesday went well and that's a serious accomplishment.

我們需要成為這樣的人，他們可以不帶諷刺或苦澀地說："週三一切順利，這是一項重大成就。

Other people climb mountains for a challenge or go racing around a motor track at 200 miles an hour.

還有一些人為了挑戰而爬山，或者以每小時 200 英里的速度在賽道上飆車。

Our extreme sport is the challenge of staying alive.

我們的極限運動就是挑戰生存。

We don't want to be judgmental but a lot of people, perhaps most people, are really not going to be very helpful to us.

我們不想妄加評論，但很多人，也許是大多數人，真的不會對我們有什麼幫助。

They may have the sweetest dispositions and interesting lives but, in essence, they'll never be able to understand us.

他們可能有最可愛的性格和最有趣的生活，但本質上，他們永遠無法理解我們。

To put it more accurately, their circumstances mean they'll never feel a need to understand our minds and, good for them, we would be the same if we were any luckier.

更準確地說，他們的處境意味著他們永遠不會覺得有必要了解我們的思想，對他們來說是件好事，如果我們更幸運一些，我們也會一樣。

And their experiences will always feel remote and alien as a result.

是以，他們的經歷總會讓人感覺遙遠和陌生。

We need to seek out people who either know the condition from the inside or, because of some fortuitous bend in their minds, feel somehow instinctively close to it anyway.

我們需要尋找這樣的人，他們要麼對病情瞭如指掌，要麼因為某種偶然的心理變化，本能地感到與病情很接近。

We need people who can let us despair but also know how to encourage us to laugh, people who won't accuse us of malingering or making a meal out of nothing, who won't look wide-eyed and full of judgment as we detail what we've been up to and some of the wildest thoughts that coursed through us in the early hours.

我們需要的是既能讓我們絕望，又能鼓勵我們歡笑的人，需要的是不會指責我們裝瘋賣傻或無中生有的人，需要的是當我們詳述自己的近況和凌晨時分最瘋狂的想法時，不會瞪大眼睛、充滿批判的人。

We need, more than most, a lot of love.

我們比大多數人更需要愛。

And yet, of course, we'll be unusually inept at finding it, as damaged people are.

當然，我們也會像受損害的人一樣，在尋找它方面異常無能。

We need to remain at all times vigilant, knowing how susceptible we are.

我們需要時刻保持警惕，因為我們知道自己是多麼容易受到傷害。

One of the enemies we have to deal with is our own sudden assumptions that we might, after all, be well again.

我們必須面對的敵人之一，就是我們自己的突然假設，即我們畢竟可能會恢復健康。

So we need to be always on our guard as to the likelihood of a relapse.

是以，我們需要時刻警惕復發的可能性。

We should formulate plans but hold on to them very lightly.

我們應該制定計劃，但不能掉以輕心。

We should realise the link between busyness and mania and take extreme measures to live soberly.

我們應該意識到忙碌與狂躁之間的聯繫，並採取極端措施，清醒地生活。

We should acknowledge and fully honour the differences between ourselves and other, more robust people.

我們應該承認並充分尊重自己與其他更強大的人之間的差異。