Use my link in the description and you'll receive a 7-day free trial and 40% off Blinkist's annual Premium Membership.

使用我在描述中的鏈接，您將獲得 7 天免費試用和 Blinkist 年度高級會員資格四折優惠。

I was somewhat apprehensive when I first tried it, but I was also excited.

第一次嘗試時，我有些忐忑不安，但也很興奮。

It was another way of attempting to inject the hope of novelty into an otherwise painfully mundane life, or perhaps mundanely painful.

這是另一種方式，試圖為原本痛苦平庸的生活注入新奇的希望，或者說是平庸的痛苦。

In either case, when I pressed that button for the first time, I felt a new world open up.

無論如何，當我第一次按下那個按鈕時，我感覺到一個新世界展現在眼前。

It was surreal, warm, invigorating, relieving.

這種感覺超現實、溫暖、令人振奮、如釋重負。

I felt powerful yet calm, like I could do anything.

我感到強大而平靜，彷彿無所不能。

It was an experience that would be impossible to describe to the version of myself that existed prior to pressing the button.

這種體驗是無法用按下按鈕之前的自己來描述的。

Now I'm sitting with the same device in my hand, the eTelly 6, looking out at Moraine Lake and Banff National Park in Alberta, Canada.

現在，我正坐在這裡，手裡拿著同樣的設備 eTelly 6，眺望加拿大阿爾伯塔省的 Moraine 湖和班夫國家公園。

It's beautiful, but beauty no longer captivates me.

它很美，但美已不再吸引我。

Nothing does.

什麼都沒有。

I've only been sitting here for a few minutes.

我只在這裡坐了幾分鐘。

I'm listening to the birds, the breeze, the water, and the other people.

我在傾聽鳥叫、微風、流水和其他人的聲音。

It's peaceful, and I'm uncomfortable.

這裡很寧靜，我很不自在。

My hand almost tremors as it awaits my conscious brain's permission to start moving.

我的手幾乎在顫抖，因為它在等待我的大腦意識允許我開始移動。

I try to stay strong, still looking out at the water and the mountains, but without even realizing it, my fingers have already begun to move.

我努力保持堅強，依然望著遠處的山水，但不知不覺中，我的手指已經開始移動。

Then I disappear.

然後我就消失了。

Place after place I go.

我去了一個又一個地方。

With but a few moments spent at each, I rush by them all, leaving almost as quickly as I arrive.

每到一處，我都要花上片刻時間匆匆走過，幾乎是來得快去得也快。

I go from the shore of Moraine Lake to a street in New York City, to a soccer game at a stadium in Italy.

我從 Moraine 湖畔到紐約街頭，再到意大利體育場的一場足球比賽。

On and on I go.

我繼續說下去。

I find myself at my friend Horace's apartment.

我發現自己在朋友霍勒斯的公寓裡。

I don't fully remember getting here.

我不太記得來過這裡。

I don't even really remember choosing to go here.

我甚至都不記得自己是怎麼選擇來這裡的。

It's been happening more and more recently.

這種情況最近越來越多。

I'll show up somewhere without even really realizing or choosing it.

我會在不經意間出現在某個地方，甚至沒有真正意識到或選擇它。

Horace's girlfriend, Cynthia, is also here.

霍勒斯的女朋友辛西婭也來了。

We are talking at their kitchen table.

我們在他們的廚房餐桌上哈拉。

They are telling me about how hard it was to lock down their new apartment, the one we are currently in.

他們告訴我，要鎖定他們的新公寓，也就是我們現在住的這間公寓有多難。

Rent is higher than ever, they say.

他們說，房租比以往任何時候都高。

It's difficult finding a good place in a good area that's affordable, they say.

他們說，很難在好地區找到一個負擔得起的好地方。

Property managers are always tricky, they say.

他們說，物業經理總是很棘手。

I know all of this, but small talk is all talk when your friends are mostly momentary appearances in a constantly fast-forwarded existence.

這些我都知道，但當你的朋友只是在不斷快進的生活中曇花一現時，閒聊也就成了空談。

I share with them some of the similar problems I've had in the past.

我與他們分享了我過去遇到的一些類似問題。

I think they're listening, but it's hard to tell.

我想他們在聽，但很難說。

I think I'm communicating clearly, but that's also hard to tell.

我想我說得很清楚，但這也很難說。

We seem to be in the same conversation, but it also feels fragmented, like we're constantly going backwards to retrieve our pieces, regardless of the relevance to where we are in the conversation.

我們似乎在進行同一場對話，但又感覺支離破碎，就像我們在不斷地倒退，去檢索我們的片段，而不管這些片段與我們在對話中所處的位置是否相關。

I am bored, restless, and anxious.

我感到無聊、煩躁和焦慮。

There is a brief pause in the conversation, and I take this as an opportunity to ask Horace and Cynthia if they want to transmit to somewhere.

談話稍作停頓，我趁機問霍拉斯和辛西婭是否想轉到某個地方。

No, we've been trying to stay in one place a bit more lately.

不，我們最近一直在努力多待在一個地方。

We've also been trying to walk and drive whenever we can.

我們也一直在嘗試能走路就走路，能開車就開車。

It's been nice, Horace tells me.

霍勒斯告訴我，這很不錯。

Cynthia agrees.

辛西婭表示同意。

This frustrates me a little, admittedly.

誠然，這讓我有點沮喪。

I know that's unsavory of me.

我知道我這樣做不光彩。

I should be supportive, but instead, I'm frustrated.

我應該給予支持，但我卻感到沮喪。

I'm frustrated that if I transmit to somewhere right now, I'll have to go alone.

我很沮喪，因為如果我現在要去某個地方，我就得一個人去。

Oh, alright, I say with a tone that is both accepting, but also intentionally leaves room for them to change their minds.

哦，好吧，我用一種既接受又故意留有餘地的語氣說，讓他們改變主意。

They don't.

他們沒有。

Good for them, I guess, I think to myself.

我心想，這對他們有好處吧。

Kind of lame, though.

不過有點蹩腳。

We sit quietly for a few more seconds, which I take as another opportunity, this time to get up and use the bathroom.

我們又靜靜地坐了幾秒鐘，我把這當作另一個機會，這次是起身上廁所。

I stare at myself in the bathroom mirror.

我盯著浴室鏡子裡的自己。

My eyes are both wide and baggy.

我的眼睛睜得很大，眼袋也很大。

I look both awake and tired.

我看起來既清醒又疲憊。

I used to do this thing where I would stare at myself in the mirror with my nose nearly pressed right up against the glass, and I would stay like that until I could no longer recognize myself in the reflection.

我以前經常這樣，盯著鏡子裡的自己，鼻子幾乎貼在玻璃上，就這樣一直盯著鏡子，直到鏡子裡的自己認不出來為止。

I don't have to do that anymore.

我再也不用這麼做了。

I notice in the reflection my e-tele is in my hand.

我從反光鏡中注意到我手裡拿著電子電話。

That's odd, because I don't remember taking it out of my pocket.

這就奇怪了，因為我不記得從口袋裡拿出來過。

I must have taken it out subconsciously.

我一定是下意識地把它取出來了。

Weird.

真奇怪

I think I want to just stay here tonight, with Horace and Cynthia.

我想我今晚就呆在這兒了 和霍勒斯還有辛西婭在一起

I should reconnect more with them.

我應該多和他們聯繫。

They're two friends whom I've had for a very long time, and I'm very close with, but have recently fallen further and further away from.

他們是我很長時間的兩個朋友，關係很好，但最近卻越走越遠。

I should stay here.

我應該留在這裡

I'm with my colleague, Terrence.

我和我的同事特倫斯在一起。

We're at the base of the Eiffel Tower.

我們在埃菲爾鐵塔底層。

It's massive.

它是巨大的。

It's busy.

很忙

It smells weird.

聞起來怪怪的。

I don't remember making plans with Terrence.

我不記得和泰倫斯有什麼計劃。

I don't remember getting here.

我不記得來過這裡

I guess Horace and Cynthia didn't want to come.

我猜霍勒斯和辛西婭不想來。

I'm at a cafe in Barcelona.

我在巴塞羅那的一家咖啡館。

I'm by myself now.

我現在一個人

I'm drinking coffee on the patio on the sidewalk.

我正在人行道的露臺上喝咖啡。

I'm at a dive bar in Chicago.

我在芝加哥的一家潛水酒吧。

I'm with another one of my friends, CJ.

我和我的另一個朋友 CJ 在一起。

We're drinking whiskey.

我們在喝威士忌

It's dark, and it smells like piss.

裡面很黑，還有一股尿騷味。

I'm at the historic sanctuary of Machu Picchu, alone.

我獨自一人來到歷史聖地馬丘比丘。

I'm looking at the ruins of the 15th century Inca civilization.

我看到的是 15 世紀印加文明的廢墟。

It's interesting, but kind of boring, and it makes me think too much about death and the end of everything.

它很有趣，但有點無聊，讓我過多地思考死亡和一切的終結。

I'm at a historic pub in the heart of the Docklands in London.

我正在倫敦碼頭區中心一家歷史悠久的酒吧裡。

I'm watching a bar fight as I drink a beer.

我一邊喝著啤酒，一邊看著酒吧裡的打鬥。

I am in my bed.

我在床上

It is the next morning, Sunday morning.

現在是第二天早上，星期天的早上。

I don't remember much of where I went yesterday.

我不太記得昨天去了哪裡。

I was at each place no more than a few minutes, a few seconds in most cases.

我在每個地方停留的時間不超過幾分鐘，大多數情況下只有幾秒鐘。

Over the span of the day and night, I must have gone to hundreds of different places, maybe thousands.

在一天一夜的時間裡，我肯定去了上百個不同的地方，也許上千個。

When you do that much and go to that many places, spinning your head like a basketball on the finger of dissatisfaction, everything becomes a blur.

當你做了那麼多事，去了那麼多地方，像籃球一樣在不滿的手指上旋轉時，一切都會變得模糊不清。

I'm frustrated with myself.

我對自己感到沮喪。

This keeps happening.

這種情況不斷髮生。

Once I start going, it's like I can't stop.

一旦開始，我就停不下來。

I just keep going, never presently in any one place, in any one moment.

我就這樣一直走下去，從不停留在任何一個地方，任何一個時刻。

I wanted to have a nice day and night.

我想度過一個美好的白天和夜晚。

I wanted to go to maybe one or two or three places.

我想去的地方可能只有一兩個或三四個。

I wanted to stay with Horace and Cynthia for a while, and maybe have another old friend or two join us.

我想在霍勒斯和辛西婭家住一段時間，也許還會有一兩個老朋友加入我們。

At the very least, I wanted to focus and get a couple important things done.

至少，我想集中精力，完成幾件重要的事情。

I didn't do any of that.

這些我都沒做。

I'll make up for it today, though.

不過，我今天會彌補的。

No questions asked.

沒有問題。

No excuses.

沒有任何藉口

I'm getting lunch in Copenhagen.

我在哥本哈根吃午飯。

My e-telly must be malfunctioning because I don't even remember choosing this place, or any place for that matter.

我的電子電視機肯定出故障了，因為我根本不記得自己選擇了這個地方，或者任何地方。

I could have sworn I had just woken up.

我發誓自己剛剛睡醒。

My eyes are still crusty.

我的眼睛還在結痂。

Two of my friends show up, Charlie and Alex.

我的兩個朋友出現了，查理和亞歷克斯。

They love transmitting to places.

它們喜歡向各地發射信號。

We get some food, and our e-tellies are already out.

我們得到了一些食物，我們的電子郵差已經出來了。

We're ready to go.

我們準備好了

We try to coordinate our plans as best we can.

我們盡力協調我們的計劃。

That's always hard to do.

這總是很難做到。

We are at Kuta Beach in Bali.

我們在巴厘島的庫塔海灘。

We are at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art in California.

我們在加利福尼亞州的洛杉磯郡立藝術博物館。

We are at Alex's apartment.

我們在亞歷克斯的公寓

We are at a bar and restaurant on the coast of Maine.

我們在緬因州海岸邊的一家酒吧和餐廳。

We are looking at the Bridge of Sighs in Venice.

我們現在看到的是威尼斯的嘆息橋。

We're moving so quickly, however, we lose each other.

然而，我們走得太快了，以至於失去了彼此。

We are on our own, separate routes now.

我們現在各奔東西，各行其是。

For the rest of the day, I continue to go to more places, trying to coordinate with Charlie and Alex, as well as other friends and colleagues, as best I can.

接下來的日子裡，我繼續去更多的地方，盡力與查理和亞歷克斯以及其他朋友和同事協調。

But I am mostly just going to places by myself.

不過，我主要還是一個人去一些地方。

Countless places by myself.

一個人去了無數個地方

I'm in my bed.

我在床上

It's the next morning.

現在是第二天早上。

Monday morning.

星期一上午。

I have to go to work.

我得去上班了。

My head hurts.

我的頭好痛

I'm tired and anxious.

我又累又焦慮。

I was supposed to be at work 10 minutes ago.

我十分鐘前就該去上班了。

I'm at my workstation.

我在我的工作站

I open my display screens and begin working.

我打開顯示屏，開始工作。

I need to get this work done today.

我必須在今天完成這項工作。

It was due last week.

它是上週到期的。

I can't transmit anywhere today.

我今天哪兒也發不了信號。

I need to stay here, focused.

我需要待在這裡，集中精力。

I'm walking the streets of Tokyo.

我走在東京街頭。

Just one place for a little while is fine.

只在一個地方呆一段時間就可以了。

It is night here.

這裡是夜晚。

The colorful neon lights of the signage and advertisements violently flash against my eyes.

招牌和廣告上五顏六色的霓虹燈在我眼前劇烈閃爍。

My eyes barely notice.

我的眼睛幾乎沒有注意到。

I pass by thousands of people as they pop in and out of the city streets.

我與成千上萬的人擦肩而過，他們在城市街道上進進出出。

I'm back at my workstation.

我回到了我的工作站。

It's harder to focus now.

現在更難集中精力了。

I pull up more display screens and begin to review some work.

我調出更多顯示屏，開始查看一些工作。

Documents comprising words, numbers, and symbols that mean very little to me.

由文字、數字和符號組成的文件對我來說意義不大。

I don't know why I'm doing what I'm doing.

我不知道自己為什麼要這麼做。

I don't care about it.

我不在乎。

I need this job, though.

但我需要這份工作

I need to get this work done today.

我必須在今天完成這項工作。

I'm on an observation deck on a New York City skyscraper.

我在紐約摩天大樓的觀景臺上。

I'm watching a man in a suit propose to what I presume is his girlfriend.

我正在看一個西裝革履的男人向我猜是他女朋友的人求婚。

I can't help but laugh.

我不禁啞然失笑。

I'm on a couch with Charlie and Alex.

我和查理、亞歷克斯一起坐在沙發上。

I'm at the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston.

我在波士頓的藝術博物館。

There are protesters here.

這裡有抗議者。

I'm back at work.

我回來工作了

I'm home.

我回來了

I'm back at work.

我回來工作了

I'm home.

我回來了

I'm at a concert with friends.

我和朋友們在音樂會上。

I don't know the artist.

我不認識這位藝術家。

I don't recognize them.

我不認識他們。

People seem to really like her, though.

不過，人們似乎真的很喜歡她。

The crowd is making me claustrophobic, and it's kind of boring.

人群讓我有幽閉恐懼症，而且有點無聊。

I can't really see anything too well.

我什麼都看不清楚。

I never understood why people go to concerts.

我一直不明白人們為什麼要去聽音樂會。

I'm in the French countryside, alone.

我一個人在法國鄉間。

The landscape is vast.

地勢遼闊。

The people are scarce.

人煙稀少。

It's way too quiet, and there's way too much space.

這裡太安靜了，空間也太大。

I'm back at work.

我回來工作了

I'm home.

我回來了

I'm back at work.

我回來工作了

I'm home.

我回來了

I'm at the Santa Monica Pier in California with Charlie.

我和查理在加利福尼亞的聖莫尼卡碼頭。

We play one round of one of the carnival games.

我們玩一輪嘉年華遊戲。

I've lost track of the time, of the day, of the week.

我已經忘記了時間、日期和星期。

I continue to go to more and more places, and more places, and more places.

我繼續去越來越多的地方，越來越多的地方，越來越多的地方。

I am barely at any of them.

我幾乎沒有參加任何活動。

I am moving faster and faster.

我走得越來越快。

Time slips further and further away.

時間越滑越遠。

Time is meaningless.

時間毫無意義。

Everything is meaningless.

一切都毫無意義。

I want everything to end.

我希望一切都結束。

I'm in some sort of quarry.

我在某個採石場裡。

I'm at the bottom of it, standing on what I assume is bedrock.

我正站在我認為是基岩的底部。

How did I get here?

我是怎麼來到這裡的？

How many years have gone by?

多少年過去了？

I honestly don't remember much of anything prior to that first teleportation device I tried.

老實說，在我第一次嘗試傳送裝置之前，我已經記不清楚了。

There are mining vehicles around me and up the paths carved out of the quarry walls.

我周圍和採石場牆壁鑿出的小徑上都停滿了礦車。

There is no one in any of them.

其中沒有一個人。

There is no one around at all.

周圍一個人也沒有。

I am used to being alone.

我習慣了孤獨。

I'm almost always alone.

我幾乎總是一個人。

Most people have either left my life, or I've left theirs.

大多數人要麼離開了我的生活，要麼我離開了他們的生活。

A lot of friends and family have scorned my lifestyle, telling me I need to slow down or stop.

很多朋友和家人都對我的生活方式嗤之以鼻，告訴我需要放慢腳步或停下來。

Many have left me because of it.

許多人是以離開了我。

There are so many ultimatums I've failed to oblige.

有很多最後通牒我都沒答應。

I get it.

我明白了。

But it would be nice to be loved, at least once in a while, as I am, not who I'm supposed to be.

但如果能被愛，至少偶爾被愛一次，愛我本來的樣子，而不是我應該成為的樣子，那該有多好。

Maybe then it would be easier to be who I'm supposed to be.

也許這樣我就能更容易地成為我應該成為的人。

The area surrounding the quarry looks familiar.

採石場周圍的區域看起來很熟悉。

There are old, abandoned towers and buildings in the distance that I recognize.

遠處有我認得的廢棄的舊大廈和建築。

I know where I am.

我知道我在哪裡。

This is by my childhood home.

這是我兒時的家。

I used to come here a lot, with my friends.

我以前經常和朋友來這裡。

We would walk around and ride our bikes through the trails in the surrounding woods.

我們會四處走走，騎著自行車穿過周圍樹林中的小徑。

I think we camped here a few times as well.

我想我們也在這裡露營過幾次。

I can't think of the last time I spent time like that with friends or anyone, including myself, where there was nowhere to go and no one to be or not be, and I was happy with that.

我想不出上一次這樣與朋友或任何人（包括我自己）共度時光是什麼時候了，在那裡無處可去，沒有人可以成為或不成為，而我卻樂在其中。

I hear faint footsteps against gravel.

我聽到了微弱的腳步聲。

I look up and see the silhouette of someone at the top of the quarry.

我抬起頭，看到採石場頂端有人的身影。

It's a man.

是個男人

He's looking at me.

他在看著我。

Staring at me.

盯著我看

I stare back at him.

我回頭盯著他。

He's waving now.

他在揮手

I wave back, but with discomfort.