Alright, alright. But you better be wearing clothes when I open my eyes.

好吧，好吧但我睜開眼睛時，你最好穿著衣服。

Alright, open your eyes.

好了，睜開眼睛吧。

Sweet mother of all that is good and pure.

一切美好和純潔的甜蜜之母。

Days of our lives picked up my option. Congratulations!

我們生活的日子》選中了我的選項。祝賀你

Now we can finally watch Green Acres the way it was meant to be seen.

現在，我們終於可以以原汁原味的方式觀看《綠野仙蹤》了。

So, uh, which one is mine?

那麼，哪個是我的？

Whichever one you want, man. Whichever one you want.

隨便你要哪一個隨便你

Not that one.

不是那個

Oh, yes.

哦，是的。

Oh, yeah, that's the stuff.

哦，是的，就是這東西。

Do we dare?

我們敢嗎？

We dare.

我們敢

Hey, Kiki.

嘿，琪琪

What are you doing?

你在幹什麼？

Just trying to get comfortable. I can't sleep in my underwear.

只是想舒服點我不能穿著內衣睡覺

Well, you're gonna.

你會的

I've been thinking, you know, about how I'm always seeing girls on top of girls.

我一直在想，你知道，我總是看到女孩在女孩上面。

Are they end-to-end or tall like pancakes?

它們是端對端還是像煎餅一樣高？

You know what I mean, about how I'm always going out with all these women.

你知道我的意思，我總是和這些女人約會。

Because I always figured when the right one comes along,

因為我總能猜到什麼時候會有合適的人出現、

I'll be able to be a stand-up guy and go the distance, you know?

我將會是一個頂天立地的男子漢，走得更遠，你知道嗎？

Now I'm looking at my dad, thinking...

現在我看著我的父親，想著...

Hey, you're not him. You're you.

嘿，你不是他。你是你自己

When they were all over you to go into your father's pipe-fitting business, did you cave?

當他們都勸你去做你父親的管道生意時，你屈服了嗎？

No.

不

No. You decided to go into the out-of-work actor business.

不，是你決定去做失業演員的生意。

Now, that wasn't easy, but you did it.

現在，這並不容易，但你做到了。

And I'd like to believe that when the right woman comes along, you will have the courage and the guts to say, no thanks, I'm married.

我願意相信，當合適的女人出現時，你會有勇氣和膽量說：不，謝謝，我已經結婚了。

You really think so?

你真的這麼想？

You really think so?

你真的這麼想？

Yeah, I really do.

是的，我真的這麼想。

Thanks, Chandler.

謝謝，錢德勒。

Get off.

下車。

Joey!

喬伊

Got you the Joey special. Two pizzas!

給你喬伊特餐兩個披薩

Joe?

喬？

Hello?

喂？

Damn it!

該死的

Hello?

喂？

No, Joey's not here right now, but I can take a message, I think.

不，喬伊現在不在，但我可以幫你捎個口信。

He's still got a chance for the part?

他還有機會得到這個角色嗎？

Oh, that's great news!

哦，這真是個好消息！

Well, no, obviously not for the actor who was mauled by his dog.

嗯，不，顯然不是為了那個被狗咬傷的演員。

Oh, well, that's great. I will give Joey the message. Thank you.

那太好了我會轉告喬伊的謝謝

Yes.

是的。

Okay.

好的

Mac...

Mac...

audition...

試聽...

at two...

在兩個...

allergy...

過敏...

actor...

演員...

attacked.

受到攻擊。

By...

通過...

dog...

狗...

not...

不...

flowers.

花朵

Hey!

嘿！

Please tell me you got the message.

請告訴我你收到資訊了。

What message?

什麼資訊？

The actor playing Mac couldn't do it.

扮演麥克的演員做不到。

They needed to see you at two o'clock.

他們要在兩點鐘見你。

What?

什麼？

At six o'clock?

六點鐘？

I wrote it on the board!

我把它寫在了黑板上！

Look, I wrote it on the board!

看，我寫在黑板上了

I wrote it on the board and then I went all over New York City looking for you.

我把它寫在黑板上，然後就滿紐約找你。

I went to Ross's, I went to the coffee house,

我去了羅斯家，去了咖啡館、

I went to any place that they make sandwiches!

只要有做三明治的地方，我都會去！

I can't believe this, Chandler!

真不敢相信，錢德

Sorry, I don't know what to say.

對不起，我不知道該說什麼。

Well, you might say...

你可能會說

congratulations.

祝賀你

I saw the board, I went to the audition, I got the part!

我看到了告示牌，參加了試鏡，得到了這個角色！

Is that supposed to be funny?

這很好笑嗎？

I was really worried over here.

我真的很擔心這裡。

Oh, well...

哦，好吧...

You know, sometimes that fake-out thing is just mean.

你知道，有時候假戲真做是很卑鄙的。

Oh, wow. Okay, man, I'm sorry.

哦，哇好吧，夥計，我很抱歉。

I did not mean to make you feel bad.

我並不想讓你感到難過。

Well, that's good.

那就好

Because you didn't!

因為你沒有！

And I'm incredibly happy for you!

我真為你感到高興！

That's mean!

太刻薄了

You really had me going there!

你真的把我說動了！

We could do this all day.

我們可以這樣做一整天。

Yeah, you're right.

是的，你說得對。

I took the quiz and it turns out I do put career before men.

我做了測試，結果發現我確實把事業看得比男人更重要。

Get up.

站起來

What?

什麼？

Near my seat.

靠近我的座位

How is this your seat?

這是你的座位嗎？

Because I was sitting there.

因為我就坐在那裡。

But then you left.

但後來你離開了

Well, it's not like I went to Spain.

我又沒去西班牙。

I went to the bathroom. You knew I was coming back.

我去了洗手間你知道我會回來的

What's the big deal? Sit somewhere else.

有什麼大不了的？換個地方坐吧

The big deal is I was sitting there last.

最重要的是，我最後坐在那裡。

So, it's my seat.

所以，這是我的座位。

Actually, the last place you were sitting was in there, so...

事實上，你最後坐的地方就在裡面，所以...

You guys, you know what? You know what?

夥計們，你們知道嗎？你們知道嗎？

It doesn't matter.

沒關係。

Because you both have to go get dressed before the big vein in my head pops.

因為在我腦子裡的大血管爆掉之前，你們倆都得去穿衣服。

So...

所以...

All right, Ross, I just have to do one thing really quickly.

好了，羅斯，我得趕快做一件事

It's not a big deal.

這沒什麼大不了的。

Get up!

站起來

All right, fine. You know what?

好吧你知道嗎？

We'll both sit in the chair.

我們都坐在椅子上。

Fine with me.

我沒意見。

I am so comfortable.

我很舒服。

Me, too.

我也是

In fact, I think I might be a little too comfortable.

事實上，我覺得我可能有點太舒服了。

All right.

好的

Okay, look, we have 19 minutes, okay?

好吧，聽著，我們有19分鐘，好嗎？

Chandler, I want you to go and change, okay?

錢德，我要你去換衣服，好嗎？

And then when you come back,

當你回來時

Joey will go change and he'll have vacated the chair, okay?

喬伊會去換衣服，他會把椅子騰出來，好嗎？

Okay.

好的

All right, fine. I'm going.

好吧我走了

When I get back, it's chair sitting.

回來後，我就坐在椅子上。

And I'm the guy who's...

而我就是那個...

sitting in a chair.

坐在椅子上

All right, you will notice that I am fully dressed.

好了，你們會發現我已經穿戴整齊了。

I, in turn, have noticed that you are not.

反過來，我也注意到你不是這樣。

So, in the words of A.A. Milne, get out of my chair, dill hole.

所以，用 A.A.米爾恩的話說，從我的椅子上滾開，蒔蘿洞。

Okay.

好的

What are you doing?

你在幹什麼？

Well, you said I had to give you the chair.

你說過我必須把椅子給你的

You didn't see anything about the cushions.

你沒看到任何關於坐墊的東西。

The cushions are the essence of the chair.

坐墊是椅子的精髓所在。

That's right. I'm taking the essence.

這就對了。我在吸取精華

Oh, he'll be back.

他會回來的

Oh, there's nobody in the room.

哦，房間裡沒人。

Where's my underwear?

我的內褲呢？

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

哇，哇，哇

Come on, come on. What, you took his underwear?

來吧，來吧。什麼，你拿了他的內褲？

He took my essence.

他奪走了我的精華。

Okay, hold on.

好的，等等

Joey, why can't you just wear the underwear you're wearing now?

喬伊，為什麼你就不能穿你現在穿的內衣呢？

Because I'm not wearing any underwear now.

因為我現在沒穿內衣。

Okay, um, then why do you have to wear underwear tonight?

好吧，那你今晚為什麼要穿內衣呢？

It's a rented tux, okay?

這是租的禮服，好嗎？

I'm not gonna go commando in another man's fatigues.

我可不想穿著別人的軍裝去參加突擊隊。

Well, then it looks like somebody's gonna have to give somebody back his cushions.

看來有人得把坐墊還給別人了。

Okay, you hide my clothes.

好吧，你把我的衣服藏起來

I'm gonna do the exact opposite to you.

我要做的和你正好相反。

What, are you gonna show me my clothes?

怎麼，你要給我看我的衣服嗎？

Hey, opposite...

嘿，對面...

is opposite.

是相反的。

He's got nothing.

他一無所有。

Okay, buddy boy, here it is.

好了，夥計，到了

You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own.

你把我的衣服藏起來，我就穿你所有的衣服。

Oh, my God.

我的天啊

That is so not the opposite of taking somebody's underwear.

這和偷別人的內衣可完全不是一回事。

Look at me. I'm Chandler.

看著我我是錢德勒

Chandler, could I be wearing any more clothes?

錢德勒，我還能穿更多的衣服嗎？

Maybe if I wasn't going commando.

如果我不是突擊隊員的話，也許可以。

Yeah.

是啊

I'll tell you, it's hot with all this stuff on.

我告訴你，戴著這些東西很熱。

I better not do any, I don't know, lunges.

我最好不要做任何，我不知道，肺活量。

Okay, okay, enough. Enough with the lunging.

好了 好了 夠了夠了

No, I'm sick of this, okay?

不，我受夠了，好嗎？

I've had it up to here with you two.

我受夠你們兩個了。

Neither of you can come to the party.

你們倆都不能來參加聚會。

Jeez, what a bait.

哎呀，真是個誘餌。

Give me a chance to win my money back, okay?

給我個機會把錢贏回來，好嗎？

Sudden death, one goal, $1,000.

猝死，一個目標，1000 美元。

You serious?

你是認真的嗎？

Oh, yes.

哦，是的。

Okay.

好的

Get ready to owe me.

準備好欠我人情吧

Okay.

好的

Okay, here we go. Ready?

好了，我們開始吧。準備好了嗎？

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

不，不，不，不，不，不，不，不！

One can beat me.

有人能打敗我

See, now that's why only the little fake men are supposed to do the kicking.

看，這就是為什麼只有小假人才該踢人。

Let's see.

讓我們看看

Wow, I don't know what to say.

哇，我不知道該說些什麼。

Eh, what do you say?

你怎麼說？

I don't know.

我不知道。

It's a bracelet.

這是一個手鐲。

Isn't it?

不是嗎？

And it's engraved, too. Check it out.

而且還刻了字。快來看看吧

To my best bud.

敬我最好的朋友

Thanks, best bud.

謝謝你，好兄弟。

Put it on.

穿上它

Oh, now?

哦，現在？

No, no, I think something this nice should be saved for a special occasion.

不，不，我覺得這麼好的東西應該留到特殊場合才用。

Oh, no, no, that's the beauty part.

哦，不，不，這才是最美的部分。

It goes with everything.

它可以搭配任何東西。

You put this on, you're good to go.

穿上它，你就可以走了。

Oh, man.

天啊

You are so wearing that bracelet.

你一定要戴上那條手鍊。

I so am.

我也是。

You pick one.

你選一個。

Just pick one.

隨便選一個。

Here, how about that one?

這個怎麼樣？

That's patio furniture.

那是庭院傢俱。

For what?

為了什麼？

Like people are gonna come in and think, uh-oh, I'm outside again.

就像人們一進來就會想，啊哦，我又在外面了。

All right.

好的

What about the birds?

鳥兒怎麼辦？

I don't know.

我不知道。

Birds just don't say, hello, sit here, eat something.

鳥兒不會說 "你好，請坐，吃點東西"。

You pick one.

你選一個。

All right.

好的

How about the ladybugs?

瓢蟲怎麼樣？

Oh, so forget about the birds, but big red insects suggest fine dining.

哦，那就別管鳥兒了，大紅色的昆蟲暗示著美食。

Fine.

很好

You wanna get the birds?

你想抓鳥嗎？

Get the birds.

抓鳥

Not like that, I won't.

我不會那樣做的

Kip would have liked the birds.

基普會喜歡這些鳥的。

This is so exciting.

太激動人心了

It's so glamorous.

太迷人了

People taking our picture.

人們在給我們拍照。

How do I look?

我看起來怎麼樣？

A little tall.

有點高

What?

什麼？

Would you mind crouching down a little bit so that I look taller?

你能不能蹲下一點，讓我看起來高一點？

There you go.

這就對了。

Good job, Joe.

幹得好，喬。

Well done.

幹得好

Top notch.

一流。

You liked it?

你喜歡嗎？

You really liked it?

你真的喜歡嗎？

Oh, yeah.

哦，是的

Which part exactly?

具體是哪一部分？

The whole thing.

整件事情。

Here we go.

開始了

No, no, no.

不，不，不

Give me some specifics.

說說具體情況。

I love the specifics.

我喜歡這些細節。

The specifics were the best part.

具體細節是最精彩的部分。

Hey, what about the scene with the kangaroo?

嘿，那袋鼠的那一幕呢？

Did you like that part?

你喜歡這部分嗎？

I was surprised to see a kangaroo in a World War I epic.

在第一次世界大戰史詩中看到袋鼠，我感到非常驚訝。

You fell asleep.

你睡著了

There was no kangaroo in World War I.

第一次世界大戰中沒有袋鼠。

There was no kangaroo.

沒有袋鼠。

They didn't take any of my suggestions.

他們沒有采納我的任何建議。

Thanks a lot for coming, buddy.

非常感謝你能來，夥計。

See you later.

再見

Don't go.

別去

I'm sorry.

對不起

I'm so sorry.

真對不起

Look, this guy fell asleep.

看，這傢伙睡著了

He fell asleep, too.

他也睡著了。

Be mad at him.

生他的氣。

Or call an ambulance.

或者叫救護車。

Oh, man.

天啊

I can't believe I locked myself out again.

真不敢相信，我又把自己鎖在門外了。

Hang on, buddy.

堅持住 夥計

Oh, my God.

我的天啊

What happened here?

這裡發生了什麼？

Did you do all this?

這些都是你做的嗎？

I sure did.

我當然知道。

Why?

為什麼？

Well, I just thought it would make me feel good to do something nice for my friend.

我只是覺得能為朋友做點好事會讓我感覺很好。

You're amazing.

你真了不起

No, no, no.

不，不，不

This is amazing.

太神奇了

A TV that appears as if from nowhere.

不知從哪裡冒出來的電視

That's the dream.

這就是夢想。

Man, how did you afford all this stuff?

你怎麼買得起這些東西？

Well, you know, I'm 29.

你知道，我已經29歲了。

I mean, who needs a savings account?

我是說，誰需要儲蓄賬戶？