Hi, babe.

嗨，寶貝

I'm here today asking for you to be my plus one at my brother's wedding in exchange for a trip to your favorite European city this summertime.

今天我在這裡請求你在我哥哥的婚禮上做我的伴郎，以換取今年夏天去你最喜歡的歐洲城市旅行的機會。

Babe, I know we broke up, but remember the first wedding we went to?

寶貝，我知道我們分手了，但還記得我們參加的第一個婚禮嗎？

We sang karaoke until the sun came up and you even caught the bouquet.

我們一直唱到天亮，你還接住了花束。

And today, I'm here offering you a chance to put a final nail in the coffin that is our relationship.

今天，我在這裡給你一個機會 在我們關係的棺材上釘上最後一顆釘子。

So, babe, uh, do you want to get back together for one last weekend and be my plus one?

那麼，寶貝，呃，你想不想再一起過最後一個週末，做我的伴兒？

First of all, don't call me babe.

首先，別叫我寶貝。

Quite frankly, Max, I am insulted by your valuation, okay?

老實說，麥克斯，你的估價讓我很不爽，好嗎？

You cheat on me in Mexico City with an exotic dancer.

你在墨西哥城和一個異國情調的舞女偷情。

We break up, you take custody of my dog Otis, and now you're asking me to go to a wedding with you?

我們分手了，你奪走了我的狗奧蒂斯的監護權，現在你又要我和你一起去參加婚禮？

So based off of our first round, that was the evaluation.

是以，這就是我們第一輪的評估結果。

However, now I am open to negotiation.

不過，現在我願意接受談判。

This isn't a pitch.

這不是推銷

This is a scheme disguised as a pitch.

這是一個偽裝成推銷的陰謀。

Why did you come in here today?

你今天為什麼來這裡？

Because my mom loves you and it would make her very happy if you were my plus one.

因為我媽媽很喜歡你，如果你是我的綽號，她會很開心的。

Oh!

哦！

I will crush you like the cockroach that you are, Max.

我會像碾死蟑螂一樣碾死你，麥克斯。

I like you.

我喜歡你

You've always been a fun guy, but I'm not going to be your plus one just for your mom.

你一直是個有趣的人，但我不會只為了你媽媽而做你的伴兒。

And for those reasons, unfortunately, I'm out.

出於這些原因，很遺憾，我退出了。

Thank you for your time.

感謝您抽出寶貴時間。

I'll be your plus one to the wedding.

我會成為你婚禮上的伴郎。

Tell me more about this Europe trip.

請向我詳細介紹這次歐洲之行。

Another shark, Claire, who was Max's college girlfriend, has suddenly shown interest in going to the wedding with Max.

另一條鯊魚克萊爾是麥克斯的大學女友，她突然表示有興趣和麥克斯一起參加婚禮。

I actually disagree with Michelle here.

實際上，我不同意米歇爾的觀點。

I think that this deal has some serious legs.

我認為這筆交易非常有意義。

Just like you.

就像你一樣

Really?

真的嗎？

Uh, stand your ground, Max.

堅守陣地 麥克斯

She is about to make you a greedy offer.

她要給你一個貪婪的提議。

Max, your mother loves me.

麥克斯，你媽媽愛我

Remember Thanksgiving, junior year?

還記得大三那年的感恩節嗎？

Oh my God.

我的天啊

Now what I need is a stable two income household.

現在我需要的是一個穩定的雙收入家庭。

I'm opening a yoga business.

我要開一家瑜伽店

The bank won't give me a loan with my current financial situation.

以我目前的財務狀況，銀行不會給我貸款。

Don't take that offer.

不要接受這個提議。

That is unbelievable grief.

這真是令人難以置信的悲痛。

You're out, Michelle.

你出局了 米歇爾

I'm allowed to do a deal with Max now.

我現在可以和麥克斯做交易了

That's how this works.

就是這樣。

You walk into any nightclub right now, they'll give you the same offer.

你現在走進任何一家夜總會，他們都會給你同樣的優惠。

Thank you for the offer, Claire, but I will say Michelle is my mom's favorite ex-girlfriend.

謝謝你的好意，克萊爾，但我要說米歇爾是我媽媽最喜歡的前女友。

Ow!

噢

I really just came in here to make a deal with Michelle.

我真的只是來和米歇爾做個交易。

Listen, Max, let me just make this simple for you.

聽著，麥克斯，讓我簡單地告訴你吧

I'm out.

我不幹了

Ay, caramba!

啊，卡蘭巴

I'll make you an offer.

我給你開個價

Without asking any questions, Max's high school girlfriend, Samantha, has come out of nowhere with an offer.

麥克斯的高中女友薩曼莎沒有問任何問題，就突然向他發出了邀請。

I'm actually still close with your mom, and we still text from time to time.

實際上，我和你媽媽的關係還很好，我們還時不時地發短信。

So, I'll be your plus one at the wedding.

所以，我會是你婚禮上的伴郎。

I want everything you've offered.

我想要你提供的一切

Plus, I want you to come to Sunday brunches with my mom.

另外，我想讓你和我媽媽一起參加週日早午餐。

Uh, I don't like where this is going.

我不喜歡現在的情況

My mother's been on my case for having a grandchild, and I need to get her off my back.

我媽媽因為我有了孫子而一直對我喋喋不休，我得讓她別再煩我了。

You can pick the name of the kid.

你可以選擇孩子的名字。

We can lie about the whole thing.

我們可以對整件事撒謊。

Do not do this deal, Max.

不要做這筆交易，麥克斯

You help with my mom.

你幫我照顧媽媽

Oh, that's greedy.

哦，太貪心了。

I help with your mom.

我幫你照顧你媽媽

That's a greedy offer.

這是一個貪婪的提議。

Is that every Sunday in perpetuity, or...

是永久性的每個星期天，還是......

Yes.

是的。

Have really a moment of silence, please, for the death that will be taking place if you do that deal.

請大家默哀片刻，如果你們做了這筆交易，就會有人死去。

Michelle, you're out.

米歇爾，你出局了

She's an idiot!

她是個白痴！

She's a con artist!

她是個金光黨

Excuse me, you will not talk to me like that.

對不起，你不能這樣跟我說話。

I definitely want to help you out with that.

我一定會幫你的。

I was kind of hoping that Michelle would be...

我有點希望米歇爾...

You're an asshole!

你是個混蛋

Michelle's out, Max.

米歇爾出去了，麥克斯

You want a deal, right?

你想要交易，對吧？

He doesn't know what he wants.

他不知道自己想要什麼。

I came in here to make a deal, yes.

我是來做交易的，沒錯。

I'm all you've got left.

你只剩下我了。

Wait.

等等。

Right?

對不對？

I'm just listening right now.

我現在只是在聽。

Brooke, a girl Max hooked up with in an Uber one time four years ago on the way home from a music festival, is now considering going to the wedding.

布魯克是麥克斯四年前從音樂節回家路上在 Uber 上勾搭上的一個女孩，現在她正在考慮參加婚禮。

I'll make you an offer.

我給你開個價

And I will be joining her.

我也將加入她的行列。

Let's be real.

實話實說吧。

You only want to take an ex-girlfriend to this wedding for an easy...

你只想帶著前女友參加這場婚禮，以輕鬆...

Oh!

哦！

The truth comes out!

真相大白

Okay.

好的

Claire will be going to the wedding with you because your mom does not know me.

克萊爾會和你一起參加婚禮，因為你媽媽不認識我。

Again, I need this loan for my yoga business.

再說一次，我需要這筆貸款用於我的瑜伽事業。

And to Brooke's point, Claire, will we be hooking up at this wedding?

至於布魯克說的 克萊爾 我們會在婚禮上勾搭上嗎

No.

不

I don't find you physically attractive anymore.

我覺得你的身體不再有吸引力了。

Okay.

好的

That's where I come in.

這就是我來的原因。

You and I will hook up whenever you're in London.

只要你在倫敦，我們就會在一起。

I'm going to tell you right now, that's a good offer.

我現在就告訴你，這是個好提議。

That seems a little weird.

這似乎有點奇怪。

Can I ask for some more information?

我能瞭解更多資訊嗎？

I have a sugar daddy, but things aren't exactly great in the physical department.

我有一個 "糖爸爸"，但身體狀況不是很好。

Can't hate the honesty here.

不能討厭這裡的誠實。

Do we have a deal?

我們成交了嗎？

My deal is still alive, Maxie.

我的交易還沒結束，邁克西

Alright, I'm back in.

好吧，我回來了。

F*** you, Michelle.

去你媽的，米歇爾

F*** you, Michelle.

去你媽的，米歇爾

Alright, here is my counter.

好吧，這就是我的對策。

We keep your original offer.

我們保留您的原始報價。

I go to the wedding with you.

我和你一起去參加婚禮。

I honestly don't give a s*** about the Europe trip.

老實說，我根本不在乎歐洲之行。

Take that off the table.

別再提這個了。

Let's chat.

我們聊聊吧

Instead, when we return from the wedding, you never speak to me ever again.

相反，當我們從婚禮上回來後，你卻再也不跟我說話了。

And you give me full custody of my dog, Otis.

你把我的狗奧蒂斯交給我全權監護

I'm sorry, can I just say something real quick?

對不起，我能說幾句話嗎？

I worked so hard to get on this stage today.

為了今天能站在這個舞臺上，我付出了很多努力。

And you know, obviously my mom knows all you guys except for you because we hooked up in an Uber.

很顯然，除了你，我媽媽認識你們所有人 因為我們是在Uber上認識的

And I just want to be with someone who understands the work that I had to put in.

我只想和一個能理解我付出的人在一起。

And I'm looking for- We all worked hard, that's why we're sitting up here.

我們都很努力，所以才能坐在這裡。

Everybody that comes in here works hard, Max.

來這裡的每個人都很努力 麥克斯

I'm sorry, alright?

對不起，好嗎？

I'm just going to say it.

我就直說了。

No, you're right.

不，你說得對。

I'm sorry.

對不起

Okay.

好的

Michelle, you have always been my mom's favorite.

米歇爾，你一直是我媽媽的最愛。

Done.

完成。

What?

什麼？

Looking forward to it.

期待它的到來。

Thank you so much for your time.

非常感謝你抽出時間。

We're going to make this work.

我們一定會成功的。

I'm really excited to make this work with you.

能和你們一起工作，我真的很興奮。

You know what, I'm glad this happened.

你知道嗎，我很高興發生了這樣的事。

I'm giving my sugar daddy a second chance.

我要給我的甜心爸爸第二次機會。

It's going to be good.

一切都會好起來的。

I feel good about that.

我對此感覺很好。

He was nice, he was sweet.

他很好，很貼心。

And I'm back in.

我又回來了

Oh!

哦！

I'm so sorry.

真對不起

Yeah, I don't take that too.

是啊，我也不這麼認為。

I don't take that too.

我也不這麼認為。