Lady, give me tonight Here's what you'd do if you caught your wife cheating on you When most men get caught in this situation they'd freak out and confront their wives But you're here to play chess, not checkers Since you know that your wife is a cheater you're going to go to your local high school find the captain of the football team and give him $100 to follow your wife on Instagram Your wife will see this follow request and be intrigued and this young man will start to flirt with her in the DMs A couple of weeks pass and eventually they decide to meet up in person to grab a cup of coffee So your wife leaves the house She tells you that she's going to go to her yoga class But really, she's driving to the coffee shop to meet up with this jock When she arrives there, she'll find you and two of your friends who are holding cameras And you'll run up to your wife, screaming This woman is trying to meet a 17-year-old boy She'll freak out and tell you that they're just friends and that nothing really happened But you'll just serve her the divorce papers and threaten to release this footage and her chat logs with this 17-year-old If she doesn't let you keep 100% of your assets and pay you $50,000 in a month Here is the fastest way to get $1,000,000 Follow this plan if you want to get rich First, go to the busiest restaurant in your city Walk in without a reservation and ask for a table The host will likely say I'm sorry, there's a 30-minute wait I can take your name You reply I see some tables right there Why can't I sit there?

女士，今晚給我 如果你發現你妻子出軌，你會怎麼做？既然你知道你的妻子是個金光黨 你就去當地的高中找橄欖球隊隊長 給他100美元讓他在Instagram上關注你的妻子 你的妻子看到這個關注請求後會很感興趣 這個年輕人就會開始在DM裡和她調情 幾個星期後 他們最終決定見面喝杯咖啡她會開車去咖啡店 和這個運動員見面 當她到了那裡你會跑到你妻子面前大喊 這個女人要去見一個17歲的男孩 她會嚇壞了，告訴你他們只是朋友 什麼也沒發生 但你只要給她離婚協議書 並威脅要公佈這段錄像 以及她和這個17歲男孩的聊天記錄首先，

They will say those tables are reserved Look upset After about 30 minutes of waiting and making the staff uncomfortable you will be seated When your server comes she will start to explain the specials Interrupt her after a few words and say Yeah, yeah, yeah I don't care Let me order The server will feel uncomfortable Order only two appetizers When your food arrives take out a DNA sampling kit from your pocket Because you were rude the staff might have spit in your food so you will test it for any traces If no one spit in your food spit in it yourself and say it was someone else At the end, sue everything out of the restaurant until you get rich and repeat it to make even more money Here's what to do if you catch your kids sneaking out at night The first thing you need to do is to not mention it Let them think you don't know Then, book a hotel room outside of town On a random day go about your usual routine but don't come home Your kids will start to worry and call you Ignore their calls and texts Your spouse will also act worried and pretend to search for you around 11pm but they'll actually join you at the hotel Leave your kids alone for two days while you think of a story to explain your absence After two days come back home and tell your kids a made-up story like you were stuck at work or in a hospital Act relieved to be back Then, look up home security systems and have a salesman come to your house Pretend you didn't call them and let them sell you a security system with cameras at every entrance Tell your kids you never want this to happen again and ask if you can all install Life360 Your worried kids will agree and now you'll have their location 24-7 and know who comes in and out of your house DJ Kara is back with another question for you What's the similarity between a woman and a tornado?

他們會說那些桌子是預訂的，你會顯得很不高興 經過大約 30 分鐘的等待並讓服務員感到不舒服之後，你就可以入座了 當你的服務員來的時候，她會開始介紹特色菜 說了幾句話後打斷她，然後說 是的，是的，我不在乎 讓我點菜 服務員會感到不舒服 只點兩份開胃菜服務員會覺得不舒服 只點兩份開胃菜 當你的食物送到時 從口袋裡拿出DNA採樣包 因為你很粗魯 服務員可能會在你的食物裡吐口水 所以你要檢測食物裡是否有痕跡 如果沒人在你的食物裡吐口水 你就自己吐口水 說是別人乾的如果你發現你的孩子晚上偷偷溜出去 你該怎麼做？ 你

At first, there's a lot of blowing but in the end, you lose your house Here is your daily dose of jokes Little Timmy was sitting in class and he was behind a girl called Susan The teacher asks the class who created the Earth and Little Timmy pokes Susan in the back with his sharpened pencil and she jumps and says, My God!

一開始，大家都在吹牛，但最後，你失去了你的房子 這裡是你每天都要聽的笑話 小提米坐在教室裡，他的後面坐著一個叫蘇珊的女孩。老師問全班同學誰創造了地球，小提米用削好的鉛筆戳了戳蘇珊的後背，她跳了起來，說："我的上帝！

And the teacher says, Yes, Susan, God did create the Earth Susan sits down Then the teacher asks, Where do you go after you live a good life?

老師說，是的，蘇珊，上帝確實創造了地球，蘇珊坐下來 然後老師問，你過上好日子後會去哪裡？

And Little Timmy pokes Susan again and she jumps up and says, Heavens to Betsy!

小提米又戳了蘇珊一下，她跳起來說："天哪，貝茜！

And the teacher says, Yes, Susan, you will go, go to heaven after you live a good life Susan sits down, knowing full well that Little Timmy was poking her Susan gave Little Timmy an angry glare and she turned around And then the teacher asks the class, What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?

老師說，是的，蘇珊，你會去天堂的，在你過上好日子之後 蘇珊坐下來，她很清楚小提米在戳她 蘇珊生氣地瞪了小提米一眼，轉過身去 然後老師問全班同學：在他們生了第 77 個孩子之後，夏娃對亞當說了什麼？

And Little Timmy pokes Susan harder this time in the back and she jumps, turns around and says, If you stick that thing in me one more time I swear I'm going to lose it Here is your daily dose of jokes One day in school at the end of class the teacher tells the students to go home and come back with a story that has a moral The next day, Susie goes first and says, My dad sells eggs One day, the eggs fell out of the basket The moral is, Don't put all your eggs in one basket Then, Lucy says, My dad has an incubator Last week, only 8 of 12 eggs hatched The moral is, Don't count your chickens before they hatch Finally, Kenny says, My Uncle Ted fought in Vietnam His plane crashed but he took a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete He drank the beer, shot 70 soldiers, cut 20 more and killed the rest with his hands The teacher, shocked, asks, And what is the morale of your story?

有一天在學校下課時，老師讓學生們回家講一個有寓意的故事。第二天，蘇西先講，我爸爸賣雞蛋、接著，露西說，我爸爸有一個孵化器，上個星期，12 個雞蛋只孵出了 8 個，寓意是：不要在雞孵出來之前就數雞。最後，肯尼說，我叔叔特德在越南打過仗，他的飛機墜毀了，但他帶了一箱啤酒、一挺機槍和一把大砍刀。

Kenny replies, Well, don't mess with Uncle Ted when he's been drinking For more UN videos visit www.un.org

肯尼回答說："泰德叔叔喝了酒就別惹他。" 欲瞭解更多聯合國視頻，請訪問 www.un.org。