Would you like to add a tip?I don't know.

你想加點提示嗎？

Does it taste good?No, sir.

味道好嗎？

I mean, do you want to pay a gratuity?For service?

我是說，你想付小費嗎？

And in compensation for the half-hour long order you just made?Do I have a choice?Always, sir.

作為對你剛才長達半小時的命令的補償，我有選擇嗎？

Great!

好極了

Then no!Ah-ha!

那就不要！啊哈！

We're getting a pizza!

我們要吃披薩

And I saved us money!

我還幫我們省了錢！

This day's just got twice as good!Ugh, this is taking forever.Be patient, boys.

這一天變得加倍美好了！唉，真費勁，耐心點，孩子們。

It's only been 60 minutes.

才過了 60 分鐘。

Let's take our minds off it.Good evening.

晚上好，讓我們別再想它了。

Our biggest story today is, of course, the sudden spike in random aggression in Elmore.

我們今天最大的新聞 當然是埃爾莫隨機攻擊事件的突然激增

To illustrate the situation, here's a pie chart.

為了說明情況，下面是一張餅圖。

Turn it off!

關閉它！

Pie charts make me hungry!Why don't we all tell each other about our day and why we got upset in the first place?

餅圖讓我餓了！我們為什麼不互相說說自己的一天，以及為什麼一開始就不高興呢？

I'll go first.

我先來。

I was on my way to work when the car broke down.Well, the damage is only superficial, so it shouldn't cost more than a hundred dollars.A hundred dollars?!

我在去上班的路上，車壞了。嗯，損壞只是表面上的，應該不會超過一百美元！

Excuse me?!

你說什麼？

Better make that two hundred.Whaaaaaaat?!

最好是兩百！

Five hundred?Whaaaaaaat?!

五百？

Seven fifty.Before I do what I'm about to do, I want you to know this is not your fault.

在我做我要做的事之前，我想讓你知道這不是你的錯。

You're just doing your job.

你只是在做你的工作。

But someone has to suffer for what happened, and unfortunately, you're the only one around.You're a worm!

但總得有人為所發生的事情承受痛苦，不幸的是，你是周圍唯一的人！

You're a feeding, bottom-feeding, money-grabbing crook!

你就是個吃飽了撐的、撈錢的金光黨！

People like you are squeezing the very last cent out of hard-working families!

像你們這樣的人正在榨乾辛勤工作家庭的最後一分錢！

You're the reason ice caps are melting and baby polar bears are homeless!I think that's all there was.

冰帽正在融化，北極熊寶寶無家可歸，都是因為你！我想這就是全部了。

Here.

給你

Uh, would you like to add a tip?Sure.

你想加點小費嗎？

A little extra twelve percent.You're a worthless maggot!

你這個沒用的蛆蟲！

A pointless oaf!Anyway, I feel much better now.

一個毫無意義的笨蛋！不管怎樣，我現在感覺好多了。

Oh, sorry.

哦，對不起。

A little too much in the moment there.

有點太投入了

Oh, where's the pizza?

披薩呢？

So hungry, I'm beginning to digest myself.All right, fine.

太餓了，我都開始自己消化了。

Richard, how was your day?I don't want to talk about it!Richard, you obviously want the attention.

理查德，今天過得怎麼樣？我不想談這個！理查德，你顯然是想得到關注。

Fine!

很好

If you all insist.

如果你們堅持的話

Come on!

來吧

Insist!

堅持！

Just tell the story already!All right!

快講故事吧！好吧！

So, I was at the burger joint.

於是，我就去了漢堡店。

Five double cheeseburgers and three cookies and cream shakes.Sir, please!

五個雙層芝士漢堡和三個曲奇奶油奶昔 先生，謝謝

You just ingested 12,000 calories an hour ago!

你一小時前剛攝入了 12000 卡路里！

To burn that off, you would literally have to catch fire!

要把它燒掉，你真的得著火！

I can't in good conscience serve you another meal before you exercise!But I did exercise.

在你鍛鍊之前，我不能昧著良心再給你上一餐！但我確實鍛鍊了。

Sir, I saw you.

先生，我看見你了

You just walked outside, stared at your watch for an hour, and walked straight back in.

你剛走到外面，盯著手錶看了一個小時，又徑直走了回來。

Sir, stop that!

先生，別這樣

Sir, you need to leave!

先生，你必須離開！

You've had enough!I'll tell you when I've had enough!Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to pay for that!

你喝夠了！我喝夠了會告訴你的！先生，我得請你為此付錢！

I'm sorry, but it's company policy to ask.

很抱歉，但這是公司的規定。

Would you like to add a tip?

您想補充一條建議嗎？

Okay.

好的

Well, the customer is always right.

顧客永遠是對的。

So, even though you were very clearly in the wrong, you were in the right.Where's the pizza?!What?

所以，儘管你顯然是錯的，但你是對的。披薩在哪裡？

I'm so hungry, I'm starting to hallucinate.

我太餓了，開始產生幻覺。

I'm so hungry, I can't even hallucinate, right?

我餓得連幻覺都產生不了，對吧？

Well, since the pizza still hasn't arrived, I might as well tell you why we're in such a bad mood.

好吧，既然披薩還沒到，我還是告訴你我們為什麼心情這麼差吧。

So, earlier on, we went to the video store...That's exactly what I'm saying, dude!

所以，早些時候，我們去了音像店......這正是我要說的，老兄！

These days, the trailers show you the whole thing, apart from the end credit.Yeah!

如今，除了片尾字幕，預告片都會讓你看個夠！

What's the point of watching a movie if you already know what happens in it?

如果你已經知道電影中會發生什麼，那看電影還有什麼意義？

It's like going up to this guy and saying, oh, you know that movie with the wizard kid under the stairs?

這就像走到這個人面前說，哦，你知道那部有樓梯下巫師小孩的電影嗎？

Well, at the end, the bearded dude gets iced by the golf guy.

最後，大鬍子被高爾夫球手冰封了。

Or like that one with the asthmatic robot who turns out to be the laser samurai's dad.

又比如那個哮喘機器人，原來是脈衝光武士的爸爸。

Yeah, or at the end of The Planet of the Monkeys when we realize that it was Earth all along.

是啊，或者在《猴子星球》的結尾，當我們意識到那一直都是地球的時候。

You maniacs!

你們這些瘋子

Gosh darn you!Guys, please!

你們真該死！夥計們，拜託了！

You're killing my business here!Dude, there's no one here.

老兄，這裡一個人都沒有。

You need to rethink your financial model.

你需要重新考慮你的財務模式。

No one rents DVDs anymore.Then what are you doing here?

現在已經沒人租 DVD 了，那你還在這裡幹什麼？

Supporting my favorite store.Well, how about a tip?Oh, sure, thank you.

支持我最喜歡的商店。那麼，給點小費怎麼樣？

Hey, look, a 20.

嘿，看，一個20。

Get out of here!

離開這裡

What kind of store bans its own customers?Worst day ever!

什麼樣的商店會禁止自己的顧客？