I'm telling you.

我告訴你

Yeah.

是啊

CHEERING. Man or woman, man or woman, get that Asian president in the White House, we will fix this shit in a week.

歡呼聲不管是男人還是女人，不管是男人還是女人，讓那位亞洲總統入主白宮，我們將在一週內解決這個爛攤子。

LAUGHTER.I promise you, give us a solid eight days, you will see results.

我向你保證，只要堅持八天，你就會看到成果。

Because we don't care, we just want things to work. Imagine harnessing the power of Asian people in government.

因為我們不在乎，我們只希望事情能順利進行。想象一下在政府中利用亞洲人民的力量。

Oh, my God.

我的天啊

All the Asians in government just going down the list of broken things.

政府中的所有亞洲人都在不斷地製造麻煩。

Fixing it, one by one, with no agenda.

逐一修復，不帶任何目的。

Just pure logic, right?

只是純粹的邏輯，對嗎？

LAUGHTER.

笑聲：

CHEERING.Just going down the list.

歡呼聲。

Live long and prosper.

長命百歲，繁榮昌盛。

That's fine, that works, that's pretty good. Separation of powers is awesome, that works most of the time, that's OK, that's OK, that's fucked, that's fucked. Governmental protection agency's fucked, Medicare's fucked, do your fucking job just slapping people in the face. Right, every nine months in this country, that's like a congressional gridlock.

這很好，這行得通，這很不錯。三權分立很牛逼，大部分時候都管用，這就好，這就好，這就操蛋，這就操蛋。政府保護機構完蛋了，醫療保險完蛋了 做你的工作去吧，就知道打人耳光在這個國家，每九個月就會發生一次國會僵局

Everyone always threatening a government shutdown. Government shutdown?

每個人都在威脅政府關門。政府關門？

Yo, there's no government shutdown with Asian people in charge.

喲，有亞洲人當家，政府就不會關門。

We don't shut down for anything.

我們不會因為任何事情而停工。

LAUGHTER. Yo, we don't shut down for Christmas, you understand?

笑聲：喲，聖誕節我們不關門，明白嗎？ Yo, we don't shut down for Christmas, you understand?

LAUGHTER. We work through public holidays.

笑聲。我們在公共假期工作。

Any city in America, when it's 3am and you're hungry, where do you go?

在美國的任何一個城市，當凌晨 3 點，你餓了，你會去哪裡？

You go to Chinatown, that's where you go.

你去唐人街，那就是你要去的地方。

Because things are affordable, delicious and open. Does that sound like a country you want to live in?

因為物美價廉，美味開放。這聽起來像你想生活的國家嗎？

We don't shut down for anything.

我們不會因為任何事情而停工。

Thanksgiving means nothing to me.

感恩節對我來說毫無意義。

LAUGHTER.

笑聲：

APPLAUSE.Do you have any idea how meaningless the concept of Thanksgiving is to me?

你們知道感恩節這個概念對我來說有多無意義嗎？

Fuck turkey, it's dry.

去他媽的火雞，太乾了

LAUGHTER. Yeah, I'd rather fix healthcare than eat turkey, how about that?

笑聲：是啊，比起吃火雞，我更願意解決醫療問題，怎麼樣？

Is that someone you want in charge?

這是你想要的負責人嗎？

Please, vote for the Asians when you get a chance.

如果有機會，請投給亞洲人。

We'll work while you're eating.

我們會在你吃飯的時候工作。

LAUGHTER.

笑聲：