Over.

完畢。

And over.

完畢。

You should do a video about Ikea.

你應該拍一部關於宜家的視頻。

Do Ikea next.

接下來去宜家。

Ikea next.

下一個是宜家。

You should do Ikea next.

接下來你應該去宜家。

Ikea next.

下一個是宜家。

Ikea in a nutshell when?

宜家在什麼時候？

Do Ikea please.

請去宜家。

Next Ikea.

下一個宜家

Do you guys honestly think I give in that easily?

你們真以為我那麼容易屈服嗎？

That I just read all your comments and just make a video because so many of you requested it?

我只是看了你們所有的評論，然後就做了一個視頻，因為你們很多人都要求這樣做？

Am I gonna do that?

我要這麼做嗎？

Yes.

是的。

Ah, Sweden.

啊，瑞典。

The land of Fika, ABBA, PewDiePie, and of course, Ikea.

這裡有 Fika、ABBA、PewDiePie，當然還有宜家。

Now Costco and Ikea aren't too dissimilar in the fact that they're both gigantic warehouses, but nothing is more striking than seeing that gigantic blue building with that shiny yellow logo, repping the Swedish colours, Swedish flags posted outside the building.

雖然好市多和宜家都是巨大的倉庫，並無太大區別，但最引人注目的莫過於那座巨大的藍色建築，閃亮的黃色標誌，代表著瑞典的顏色，建築外張貼著瑞典國旗。

In fact, I believe they should just take all existing Swedish embassies and move them into

事實上，我認為他們應該把現有的瑞典大使館都搬到

Ikea's.

宜家

Founded on the 28th of July, 1943 in Älmhult, Sweden.

於 1943 年 7 月 28 日在瑞典阿姆胡爾特成立。

Okay, you're gonna have to let me off for my Swedish pronunciation the entire way through this video.

好吧，你得原諒我在這段視頻中的瑞典語發音。

I can already see all my Swedish audience disappearing as I speak.

在我說話的同時，我已經可以看到我所有的瑞典聽眾都在消失。

Anyway, founded on the 28th of July, 1943 in Älmhult, Sweden by 17 year old Ingvar Kamprad, then the first Ikea store officially opening in 1958, Ikea now have 474 stores worldwide across 64 countries.

宜家於 1943 年 7 月 28 日由 17 歲的英格瓦-坎普拉德（Ingvar Kamprad）在瑞典的阿姆胡爾特（Älmhult）創立，1958 年第一家宜家專賣店正式開業，現在宜家在全球 64 個國家擁有 474 家專賣店。

So while at 17, Ingvar was starting a Swedish retail empire, I was unemployed, getting killed on Overwatch.

是以，當 17 歲的英格瓦正在創建一個瑞典零售帝國時，我卻失業了，在《守望先鋒》中被殺。

Now for any of you that are unaware, or have never had the chance to go, Ikea is a giant furniture wonderland.

如果你們不知道，或者從來沒有機會去過，那麼宜家就是一個巨大的傢俱仙境。

And when I say giant, boy, these things can get big.

我說的 "巨大"，是指這些東西可以變得很大。

The largest Ikea in the world, in Pasay City, Philippines, is an eye-watering 65,000 square metres, which is actually the size of Sweden.

世界上最大的宜家位於菲律賓帕賽市，面積達到令人瞠目的 65,000 平方米，相當於瑞典的面積。

In fact, they're so large, the second you enter the store, there is a huge map of the entire building, as well as arrows along the floor that you have to follow around the store like you're playing some weird Swedish version of Bloons Tower Defence.

事實上，它們是如此之大，你一進入商店，就會看到一張巨大的整棟建築的地圖，以及沿著地板的箭頭，你必須沿著這些箭頭在商店裡走一圈，就像你在玩瑞典版的布隆塔防遊戲。

And although they have numerous safety measures in place to ensure you don't get lost in the frantic field of furnishings, it's a common fact that Ikea do not have a staff recruitment process.

儘管宜家採取了許多安全措施，以確保您不會迷失在熙熙攘攘的傢俱店中，但一個普遍的事實是，宜家並沒有招聘員工的程序。

No job interviews.

沒有求職面試。

They simply wait for the weak customers to wander off the track, get lost, and become consumed by the store.

他們只是在等待弱小的顧客偏離軌道，迷失方向，被商店所吞噬。

So walking into the primary coloured palace, you're met with all your furniture needs.

是以，走進這座原色宮殿，你就能滿足所有的傢俱需求。

Now, Ikea predominantly works off a sort of showroom design, so as you walk around the store, there'll be these pre-made example rooms, like the ones you can clip onto your house in The Sims, that you're free to wander around to your heart's content, each full of various pieces of furniture that you can purchase individually, which sounds harmless on the surface and a good method, really, but when you're walking around the rooms alone, especially if the store is somewhat empty, it is the eeriest thing ever.

現在，宜家主要採用的是一種展廳設計，所以當你在店裡走動時，會看到一些預製的樣板間，就像《模擬人生》中可以夾在房子裡的樣板間一樣，你可以盡情地在這些樣板間裡閒逛，每間樣板間裡都擺滿了各種傢俱，你可以單獨購買。

The rooms are so detailed, you forget you're in Ikea for a second and fall for the illusion, until you try to turn a tap on and no water comes out, or the fake plastic Ikea food on an Ikea plate sat atop an Ikea table that looks far too edible for my liking.

房間裡的擺設非常細緻，讓人一瞬間忘記了自己身處宜家，沉浸在錯覺中，直到你試圖打開水龍頭，卻發現沒有水流出來，或者宜家的餐桌上擺放著宜家盤子裡的假塑膠宜家食物，看起來太可食用了。

At times, I feel like I'm walking around someone's actual living room, like the spaces are so detailed and feel lived in, I'm convinced one day I'm just going to walk around Ikea and find my own bedroom on display, or I'll wander into a showroom and I'll just find a bloke drinking a Stella while he's watching the Premier League, then I'll go to leave and it turns out I wasn't in Ikea at all, and I was in a house in Greater Manchester.

有時，我覺得自己就像在別人家的客廳裡漫步一樣，空間如此細膩，感覺就像住在自己家裡一樣，我相信有一天我會在宜家漫步，發現自己的臥室也陳列在那裡，或者我漫步走進一個展廳，發現一個傢伙一邊喝著斯特拉，一邊看著英超聯賽，然後我就走了，結果發現我根本不是在宜家，而是在大曼徹斯特地區的一棟房子裡。

But hey, I mean speaking of getting lost, I guess Ikea would be one of the better places to get lost in, really.

不過，說到迷路，我想宜家應該是最適合迷路的地方之一了。

You're basically living in a 200 room house.

你基本上是住在一個有 200 個房間的房子裡。

Also, important to note that Ikea has to be in the top 3 places ever to play hide and seek.

此外，值得注意的是，宜家一定是史上最適合玩捉迷藏的三個地方之一。

Not that I do that, of course, because I'm a fully grown man.

當然，我並沒有這麼做，因為我已經是個成年人了。

I play tag instead.

我則玩捉人遊戲。

It seems that everyone is drawn to an Ikea at some point in their lives, to fill out their house with the Swedish craftsmanship.

似乎每個人在一生中的某個時刻都會被宜家吸引，用瑞典的精湛工藝來充實自己的房子。

It's fun walking around and seeing the different furniture they have on offer.

四處逛逛，看看他們提供的各種傢俱，是一件很有趣的事情。

Ooh, that's nice.

哦，真不錯。

Ooh, that would look great here.

哦，在這裡看起來一定很棒。

And something I do every single time, without even realising, is a feat of human nature.

而我每次都在不知不覺中做的一件事，就是人性的壯舉。

When you're in an Ikea, no matter how many times you walk past a sofa, you either have to sit on it to test the comfiness, or so you don't look like you're playing some sort of freak game of musical chairs, sitting around every single sofa on the store floor, you do that weird subtle thing where you lean to one side and push your hand into them to test the sitting capabilities.

當你在宜家購物時，無論你路過沙發多少次，你都要坐上去試一試舒適度，或者為了不讓自己看起來像在玩音樂椅的怪異遊戲，圍著店裡的每一張沙發坐來坐去，你會做那種奇怪的微妙動作，身體向一邊傾斜，把手伸進沙發裡，測試坐姿。

Why do I do this every time?

為什麼我每次都這樣做？

Like I'm some sort of professional sofa reviewer, walking around with a clipboard, pushing my hand into sofas.

好像我是什麼專業沙發評論員，拿著寫字板走來走去，把手伸進沙發裡。

And it's even worse with the beds.

床的情況更糟。

They need to put chains around those bad boys, because you damn well bet I'm lying on every single one of them, at any given chance, and rating them in a tier list on which one is best.

他們需要在這些壞小子身上套上鐵鏈，因為你他媽敢打賭，只要有機會，我就會對它們中的每一個撒謊，並在層級列表中評出哪一個是最好的。

Then buying none of them.

那就一個都不買。

It takes me about nine hours total to get around the store by the time I'm done violating all the products.

當我買完所有商品時，我總共要花九個小時才能逛完這家商店。

And how could I forget about the product names, an iconic part of the Ikea experience.

我怎麼能忘記宜家的標誌性產品名稱呢？

Ah, the Swedish furniture names.

啊，瑞典傢俱的名字。

Now whilst to the untrained, monolingual eye, it may look like an employee jumped on a keyboard, but the names do have logic to them.

現在，雖然在沒有受過訓練、只懂一種語言的人看來，這可能像是員工在鍵盤上跳來跳去，但這些名字確實有其邏輯性。

Each product is a Swedish word relating to that type of product.

每種產品都有一個與之相關的瑞典語單詞。

So outdoor products are named after Scandinavian islands, rugs are named after towns in Sweden and Denmark.

是以，戶外產品以斯堪的納維亞島嶼命名，地毯以瑞典和丹麥的城鎮命名。

But to anyone that doesn't speak Swedish, the names sure can offer up a range of emotions upon first read.

但對於不懂瑞典語的人來說，這些名字一讀起來肯定會讓人感慨萬千。

Ikea is the only store in existence that can make common household products sound like warriors.

宜家是世界上唯一一家能把普通家居用品說得像戰士一樣的商店。

Kjellborg the Destroyer, Sirvallon the Mighty, Orjar Blomster, the grey bedspread, 150 by 210 centimetres for £7.

毀滅者凱爾伯格、強大的西爾瓦隆、奧雅爾-布洛姆斯特，灰色床罩，150×210 釐米，售價 7 英鎊。

And certain products are named after Swedish names, so you can have a bookshelf called

某些產品還以瑞典名字命名，所以你可以把書架命名為

Billy.

比利

The Billy bookshelf.

比利書架

You know, I personally think we should apply this system to every store out there.

你知道，我個人認為，我們應該把這個系統應用到外面的每一家商店。

I want to be able to walk into my nearest department store and buy a crowbar called

我希望能走進最近的百貨商店，買一根撬棍，叫做 "撬棍"。

Derek, or a lawnmower called Russell.

德里克，或者一個叫拉塞爾的割草機。

Now most Ikea products are flat pack, a system introduced to Ikea in the 1950s.

現在，宜家的大多數產品都是平板包裝，這種系統於 20 世紀 50 年代引入宜家。

So put shortly, you have to follow the Ikea instructions and build the product from scratch with the parts you're given.

是以，簡而言之，你必須按照宜家的說明，用給你的零件從頭開始製作產品。

Kind of like adult Lego.

有點像成人樂高。

Which seems easy in theory, but you lose one screw and the whole thing is a write off.

這在理論上似乎很容易，但如果丟了一顆螺絲，整個工程就會前功盡棄。

I'm so bad at constructing Ikea flat pack furniture that I'll make a mistake and just accept it.

我不擅長製作宜家的平板傢俱，以至於出了差錯也只能接受。

And use the furniture anyway.

無論如何都要使用這些傢俱。

And I'll have people come round to visit and be like, why does this table have three straight legs and one that's forcefully drilled into the top of it.

有人來參觀時會問我，為什麼這張桌子有三條直腿，還有一條腿被強行鑽進了桌面。

And I'll sort of just play it off like, oh that's the design, it said that in the instructions.

然後我就裝作一副 "哦，這就是設計，說明書上是這麼寫的 "的樣子。

That's the Gareth table.

那是加雷斯的桌子。

Which is a great cover up and all, but it doesn't fix when you're alone and your flat pack fumbles start affecting your daily life.

這是個很好的掩飾，但當你獨自一人時，你的平板包裝失誤開始影響你的日常生活時，它就無法挽回了。

I'll be eating my dinner and it'll just slide onto the floor out of nowhere because I read the instructions wrong three months earlier and one leg is three inches smaller than all the others.

我正在吃晚飯，它就會突然滑到地板上，因為我三個月前看錯了說明書，一條腿比其他腿都小三英寸。

At this point, my house is so full of Ikea flat pack furniture built wrong that it looks like I'm trying to host some abstract art show with various weird sculptures.

現在，我的房子裡堆滿了宜家的平板傢俱，看起來就像在舉辦一個抽象藝術展，裡面擺放著各種奇怪的雕塑。

Now in life, there is often times where you have to make a decision.

在生活中，很多時候你必須做出決定。

What career path you want, your first born's name, what colour crop do you want to wear each morning.

你想從事什麼職業，你的第一個孩子叫什麼名字，你每天早上想穿什麼顏色的衣服。

And arguably, the most important question every individual needs to answer is which

可以說，每個人需要回答的最重要的問題就是

Ikea stuffed animal toy you choose to own.

您選擇擁有的宜家毛絨玩具。

Forget the furniture, the stuffed animals are Ikea's best range of products by a mile.

拋開傢俱不談，毛絨動物是宜家最出色的產品系列。

There is of course, the big boy, Jungle Skok, the bear, that did the rounds on Twitter to the point where it sold out on the Ikea website everywhere.

當然，還有在推特上引起熱議的 "大男孩 "Jungle Skok（小熊），它在宜家網站上的售罄程度可想而知。

You have a range of choices, the pig, the snake, the tiger, the panda, the wolf, the polar bear, the shark, but never fear.

您有一系列選擇：豬、蛇、老虎、熊貓、狼、北極熊、鯊魚，但千萬不要害怕。

If you struggle to decide, you can take this BuzzFeed quiz to decide which one closely relates to you.

如果您難以抉擇，可以參加 BuzzFeed 的小測試，以確定哪一個與您密切相關。

Well I took the test, answered each question, like pick a favourite snack.

我做了測試，回答了每個問題，比如選擇一種最喜歡的零食。

How does that relate to the...

這與...

Anyway, my results were in.

總之，我的結果出來了。

Blahaj, the shark, you're probably off enjoying the great outdoors, you're always on the move.

布拉哈吉，鯊魚，你可能去享受戶外活動了，你總是在移動。

I've spent the last week, sat in front of my PC, writing a video about a Swedish furniture store and taking a BuzzFeed quiz.

上週，我一直坐在電腦前，一邊寫關於一家瑞典傢俱店的視頻，一邊參加 BuzzFeed 的測驗。

Regardless, BuzzFeed had given me my Ikea stuffed animal of choice, Blahaj the shark.

無論如何，BuzzFeed 給了我宜家毛絨玩具的首選--鯊魚 Blahaj。

Thank you BuzzFeed, so I headed over to the Ikea website and bought Jungle Skok the monkey.

感謝 BuzzFeed，所以我去宜家網站買了小猴子 Jungle Skok。

Come on, I had to, it's a damn monkey, nothing against Blahaj, but look at him.

拜託，我必須這麼做，那是隻該死的猴子，我不是針對布拉哈吉，但你看看他。

And if you want to take a break from all the furniture action, you have Ikea's other attractions, like the restaurant with the iconic Ikea meatballs, scientifically proven that when consumed, each meatball increases your Swedish heritage by 1%.

如果您想在傢俱區休息片刻，宜家還有其他景點，比如有標誌性宜家肉丸的餐廳，科學證明，每吃一個肉丸，您的瑞典血統就會增加 1%。

Or these huge billboards for cinnamon buns that state that this is not the actual size.

還有這些巨大的肉桂麵包廣告牌，上面寫著這不是實際尺寸。

Like people think that Ikea secretly serve a giant cinnamon bun that they're storing in the back.

就像人們認為宜家在後面偷偷放了一個巨大的肉桂麵包一樣。

Somewhere that holds a soft spot in my heart, Small Land.

我心中最柔軟的地方--"小土地"。

Now this place brings back memories of when I was a kid, so simply put, Small Land is basically a sort of play area that parents can leave their kids in whilst they venture into the Ikea labyrinth.

現在，這個地方勾起了我小時候的回憶，簡單地說，"小小樂園 "基本上就是一個遊樂區，家長們可以把孩子們留在這裡，而自己則在宜家迷宮中探險。

Now whenever I would enter Small Land, it felt like heaven, rivers of plastic balls, felt trees to rest under after a hard day of doing absolutely nothing, caves to explore in.

現在，每當我進入 "小小樂園"，我都覺得這裡就像天堂一樣，有塑膠球組成的河流，有辛苦了一天什麼都沒幹之後可以休息的氈樹，還有可以探險的洞穴。

It was like an oasis, a resort, I could have spent hours in Small Land.

它就像一片綠洲，一個度假勝地，我可以在 "小樂園 "裡待上幾個小時。

Now I will admit, after googling it as an adult, it didn't really live up to my memories, but I was convinced it was better than this.

現在我承認，成年後上網查了一下，它並沒有辜負我的記憶，但我堅信它比這個要好。

Maybe it was shrouded in nostalgia.

也許是被懷舊情緒所籠罩。

Now when you walk around Ikea, you of course don't just pick up the pieces of furniture out of the showrooms and put them in your trolley, regardless of what one couple thought.

現在，當你逛宜家的時候，你當然不會隨隨便便把展廳裡的傢俱拿出來放進手推車裡，不管有一對夫婦是怎麼想的。

Instead, you note the little number down, and then when you've finally reached the end of the store, you've even made it through the jungle of the houseplant section, the maze of miscellaneous movables behind you, with your notepad of products scribbled down with an Ikea pencil, you're presented with the warehouse, towering metal shelves piled with flatpack fortunes, very Costco-esque in fact, then you simply find the products down the hallway of boxes and pile them in your car.

相反，你會記下這個小數字，然後當你終於走到商店的盡頭，甚至已經穿過了家庭植物區的叢林，穿過了身後雜七雜八的活動用品的迷宮，拿著用宜家鉛筆潦草記下的產品記事本，你就會看到倉庫，高聳的金屬貨架上堆滿了平板包裝的財富，實際上非常像好市多（Costco）。

And finally, I thought I'd share some stories from the Ikea-burg.

最後，我想和大家分享一些宜家堡的故事。

Firstly, the Ikea monkey.

首先是宜家的猴子。

December 9th, 2012, Darwin the monkey escapes from a locked crate on a nearby truck, makes his way towards the closest Ikea, and in his forked shirling coat, just wanders around.

2012 年 12 月 9 日，小猴子達爾文從附近一輛卡車上的一個上鎖的箱子裡逃了出來，一路向最近的宜家走去，穿著它那叉開的毛衣，四處閒逛。

Or when New Jersey couple Shirley Stewart and Berkley Rashid Smith got married in their local Ikea, as it's where they met.

紐澤西夫婦雪莉-斯圖爾特（Shirley Stewart）和伯克利-拉希德-史密斯（Berkley Rashid Smith）在當地的宜家結婚，因為他們就是在宜家相識的。

Or the strange phenomena sweeping fashion, the trend of making Ikea-themed clothing, or even using the brightly coloured 99p Ikea bags to construct garments.

或者是席捲時尚界的奇怪現象--製作宜家主題服裝的潮流，甚至是用色彩鮮豔的 99 便士宜家購物袋來製作服裝。

I did indeed visit Ikea whilst making this video, and it's a great time.

在製作這段視頻時，我確實參觀了宜家，那是一段美好的時光。

If you've never been, or haven't been recently, I highly recommend it.

如果您從未去過，或者最近沒有去過，我強烈推薦您去。

Walking around, the interior design skills of the showrooms genuinely does inspire you to spruce your own living space up, and a lot of what Ikea has to offer is some super high quality stuff.

走在宜家的展廳裡，室內設計的精湛技藝確實能激發你為自己的生活空間增光添彩，而且宜家提供的很多東西都是超高品質的。

And the meatballs were pretty tasty.

肉丸也相當美味。

Just whatever you do, no matter how badly you need it, never, ever attempt to use a showroom toilet.

無論你做什麼，無論你多麼需要它，永遠不要嘗試使用陳列室的廁所。

And with all of that said, goodbye!

說了這麼多，再見了！