People, if you ask most people, are you a good friend, most people will say yes.

如果你問大多數人，你是一個好朋友嗎，大多數人都會說是。

And then you start scratching the surface.

然後，你就開始觸及表面了。

So would you cancel on a friend for a work meeting?

那麼，你會取消朋友的工作會議嗎？

Would you cancel a work meeting for a friend?

你會為朋友取消工作會議嗎？

Well, my friends would understand.

我的朋友們會理解的。

That's why we cancel on them.

這就是為什麼我們要取消它們的原因。

If you have a friend who's depressed, do you try and fix them?

如果你的朋友情緒低落，你會試圖去安慰他嗎？

Do you try and point out that they're doing fine, to snap out of it?

你是否試圖指出他們做得很好，讓他們振作起來？

Or do you go sit in bed with them all day and be depressed with them?

還是整天和他們坐在床上，和他們一起消沉？

Just sit in mud with them, just so they don't feel alone.

和他們一起坐在泥濘中，這樣他們就不會感到孤單。

And you start going down the line, you realize most of us are pretty bad friends.

當你開始往下看時，你會發現我們大多數人都是很糟糕的朋友。

And friendship, for it to work, has to be intentional.

而友誼要發揮作用，必須是有意為之。

Making a friend is organic.

交朋友是有機的。

As human beings, we know how to, by accident, make friends.

作為人類，我們知道如何意外地結交朋友。

But to maintain friendship actually requires a lot of work.

但要保持友誼，其實需要付出很多努力。

And again, the analogy is a relationship.

同樣，這個比喻也是一種關係。

Like, going on a fun date and being attracted to someone, it kind of just happens.

就像，在一次有趣的約會中，被某人吸引，就這樣發生了。

But the relationship actually requires work.

但這種關係實際上需要付出努力。

And we talk about that, like, duh, go to work.

我們談論這個，就像，咄，去工作。

But we don't talk about working on friendship.

但我們不談友誼。

And people who have good friendships, have intentional friendship, they're actually healthier.

而那些擁有良好友誼、有意建立友誼的人，實際上會更健康。

They actually live longer.

實際上，他們活得更長。

They are better capable at managing stress.

他們更有能力管理壓力。

I'll give you just a quick...

我會給你一個快速...

So, our... and you know more about this than I do, but our basic understanding of addiction comes from an experiment that was done, like, in the 50s or 60s, where they took a rat and put it in a cage, and it had plain water and had water laced with drugs.

所以，我們......你比我更瞭解這一點，但我們對成癮的基本認識來自於一個實驗，這個實驗是在上世紀五六十年代做的，他們把一隻老鼠關在籠子裡，裡面有白開水，也有摻了毒品的水。

It tried both of them, preferred the one with drugs, got addicted to the point where it died.

它嘗試了這兩種方法，但更喜歡有毒品的方法，結果上癮，最後死掉了。

And our understanding of addiction largely comes from this experiment, right?

我們對成癮的理解很大程度上來自於這個實驗，對嗎？

A few years ago, a guy by the name of, I think his name was Bruce Alexander, made a realization that the experiment was flawed.

幾年前，一個叫布魯斯-亞歷山大（Bruce Alexander）的人意識到實驗存在缺陷。

Because rats, like us, are social animals.

因為老鼠和我們一樣，都是社會性動物。

And we put a rat in a cage by itself and left it alone, and of course it became addicted.

我們把一隻老鼠單獨關在籠子裡，讓它一個人待著，它當然就上癮了。

So he redid the experiment as in a social context, where he put many rats in a cage.

於是，他重新做了一個社會背景下的實驗，把許多老鼠關在一個籠子裡。

And he put fun things to do, and mazes and wheels.

他還安排了有趣的活動、迷宮和輪子。

And they put two things of water, one laced with drugs and one plain.

他們還放了兩瓶水，一瓶摻了藥，一瓶是白水。

They tried both.

他們兩個都試過。

They tried the one laced with drugs enough to get addicted.

他們嘗試了摻有毒品的那一種，以至於上癮。

And if you look at the data, the one with drugs, the usage goes down.

如果你看一下數據，有毒品的那個，使用率就會下降。

Which means, if you have friends, you're actually less likely to form addiction.

這意味著，如果你有朋友，其實你就不太可能形成癮癖。

When you're alone, you're more likely to form addiction.

一個人的時候，更容易上癮。

Which starts to raise some interesting questions, because we're all over social media and cell phones right now for being addicted.

這就引發了一些有趣的問題，因為我們現在都對社交媒體和手機上癮。

And they are addictive.

它們會讓人上癮。

They are dopamine producing devices and things that absolutely can produce addiction.

它們是產生多巴胺的設備，絕對會讓人上癮。

But is it the addiction that's making us lonely, or is it the loneliness that's opening us up to addiction?

但究竟是毒癮讓我們變得孤獨，還是孤獨讓我們染上毒癮？

And I would argue that we're not teaching our children how to make friends.

我認為，我們沒有教孩子如何交朋友。

In fact, as parents, we don't create environments to force them to be friends.

事實上，作為父母，我們不會創造環境強迫他們成為朋友。

How many parents take the phones away from all the kids when they have a play date, and call the parents and say, if you need your kid, call me?

有多少父母會在孩子們玩耍時把他們的手機都拿走，然後打電話給他們的父母，說 "如果你需要你的孩子，就給我打電話"？

Zero is probably the answer.

答案可能是 "零"。

Or a negligible number.

或者說是一個可以忽略不計的數字。

And then so, maybe the kids are more susceptible to addiction because they don't have friends.

然後，也許孩子們更容易上癮，因為他們沒有朋友。

Just a thought.

只是一個想法。