I sat down one summer and I researched the laws of attraction and just looked at whether I could explain them through cognitive science, which is psychology and neuroscience, and I could.

有一年夏天，我坐下來研究吸引力法則，看看能否通過認知科學（即心理學和神經科學）來解釋它們，結果我做到了。

And the first stage for me was understanding that it is absolutely to do with the way that you think, but then it's not magically like attracting something in the atmosphere, it's to do with the changes that you make based on your thought process.

對我來說，第一階段就是要明白，這絕對與你的思維方式有關，但這並不像在大氣中吸引什麼東西那樣神奇，而是與你根據自己的思維過程做出的改變有關。

I do believe in vision boards, but I call them action boards because I see them as a But I still have to go out there and make those things happen.

我確實相信願景板，但我稱之為行動板，因為我把它們看作是 "但我仍然必須走出去，把這些事情變為現實"。

I think it's also much more empowering to believe that it's your brain that's making that stuff happen and not some external force that you're not really sure what it is.

我認為，相信是你的大腦而不是某種你不確定是什麼的外力讓事情發生，也會讓你更有力量。

So how would I manifest something into my life?

那麼，我怎樣才能在生活中體現出一些東西呢？

Say I want to manifest a great relationship.

比方說，我想要體現一段美好的關係。

Say I was single and I wanted to manifest the perfect partner.

假如我是單身，我想找到一個完美的伴侶。

How would I manifest the perfect partner into my life?

我怎樣才能讓完美伴侶出現在我的生活中？

I think the preferred method is to create a list of the attributes that you want in that person, but you have to make sure that you are everything that is on that list.

我認為首選的方法是創建一份清單，列出你希望對方具備的特質，但你必須確保自己具備清單上的所有特質。

I've never heard anyone say that, but that is so important because I know so many people who would write a list that they couldn't meet themselves in terms of fundamental values.

我從來沒聽人這麼說過，但這一點非常重要，因為我知道有很多人都會寫一份他們自己都無法滿足的基本價值觀清單。

They probably want their partner to be disciplined, to care about their health, to be honest.

他們可能希望自己的伴侶嚴於律己，關心自己的健康，誠實守信。

And if they ask themselves, are they those things, they'd probably fail at that.

如果他們捫心自問，自己是否具備這些條件，他們很可能會失敗。

Why is that important?

為什麼這很重要？

I think that you hear a lot of people saying, this is what I really want in someone, but you never really hear people saying, I've really worked on myself and this is what I believe I have to offer.

我認為，你會聽到很多人說，這就是我真正想要的人，但你從未真正聽到過有人說，我真的對自己做了很多努力，這就是我相信自己能提供的東西。

Psychologically, you meet people at the level of psychological evolution that you're at, but equally on the flip side of the coin, you meet people at the level of psychological wound that you have.

從心理學角度講，你遇到的人與你的心理進化程度有關，但同樣反過來說，你遇到的人與你的心理創傷程度有關。

To be in a balanced relationship with someone that's really great, you've got to be bringing something to the party.

要想與真正優秀的人保持平衡的關係，你就必須給對方帶來一些東西。

I mean, no one's going to go out with you if they're really amazing and you're a drag.

我的意思是，如果他們真的很棒，而你是個拖累，沒人會和你約會。

When I was at optimal drag in my life, when I was the most a drag in my life, I attracted drag people, but I wanted amazing people and I could never get them.

當我處於人生的最佳變裝狀態時，當我是人生中最變裝的人時，我吸引變裝的人，但我想要了不起的人，卻永遠得不到。

But I feel like with you, that was part of your journey of knowing that you could become an amazing person.

但我覺得，對你來說，這是你知道自己可以成為一個了不起的人的旅程的一部分。

I believed I could.

我相信我能做到。

Yeah, exactly.

是啊，沒錯。

So you got an amazing person once you did the work that took you out of dragsville.

所以，一旦你完成了帶你離開拖車村的工作，你就得到了一個了不起的人。

Amen.

阿門

So make sure you are the things on that list because we'll rise to the level of our values and we'll fall to the level of our wounds.

所以，請確保你是清單上的那些人，因為我們會因為自己的價值觀而崛起，也會因為自己的傷痛而墮落。

Yeah, I love the way you put that, but also that what you have to offer in a relationship is just as important as what you want out of it.

是的，我喜歡你的說法，同時你在一段關係中能提供什麼，和你想從這段關係中得到什麼一樣重要。

And I don't know, as a society, we just don't really seem to think about it like that.

我不知道，作為一個社會，我們似乎並沒有這樣想過。

There's actually a note in my diary where I wrote, people who focus on what they want don't typically get what they want.

事實上，在我的日記裡有這樣一句話：專注於自己想要的東西的人通常得不到自己想要的東西。

People who focus on what they have to offer typically get what they want.

專注於自己能提供什麼的人通常會得到他們想要的東西。