I mean, like, I liked it, and you probably did too.

我是說，我喜歡它，你可能也喜歡。

A lot of people did!

很多人都這麼做了！

It sold like a hundred million units!

它賣出了差不多一億臺！

Alright, you don't just do that by being the Atari 5200.

好吧，你不能只靠雅達利 5200 來做到這一點。

No offense.

無意冒犯。

But despite its factual success, and fans who WILL defend the Wii with their lives, MYSELF INCLUDED, the Wii STILL gets no respect!

但是，儘管 Wii 取得了事實上的成功，儘管 Wii 的粉絲們（包括我自己）會用生命捍衛 Wii，但 Wii 仍然得不到尊重！

It's a baby's toy.

這是一個嬰兒玩具。

Who wants to play games with a remote?

誰想用遙控器玩遊戲？

The Wii has no good games.

Wii 沒有好遊戲

WRONG, IDIOTS!

錯了，白痴們！

But despite everyone making fun of the Wii, every company and their mother tried to emulate its success and charm.

儘管大家都在嘲笑 Wii，但每家公司都想模仿它的成功和魅力。

Remember this?

還記得這個嗎？

Remember this horrible idea?

還記得這個可怕的想法嗎？

This is worse than the Wii.

這比 Wii 還糟糕。

Scientifically.

科學地

Good job.

幹得好

Now, while these are more famous examples of a Wii ripoff, never underestimate the power of bootleggery, because today, we're gonna check out a little console called the Lexibook Yeno TV Game Console 201 Electronic Games.

現在，雖然這些都是 Wii 仿冒品中比較有名的例子，但永遠不要低估盜版的力量，因為今天我們要檢查的是一款名為 Lexibook Yeno TV 遊戲機 201 Electronic Games 的小控制檯。

And yes, that's STILL a better idea than THIS!

沒錯，這個主意還是比這個好！

HOLY CRAP!

我的天啊

So, this is the Lexibook.

這就是 Lexibook。

And yep, definitely getting some Wii vibes here.

沒錯，這裡肯定有 Wii 的影子。

You get two remotes with plastic buttons so thick, I GUARANTEE they hardly respond, and it's a chore to just press them down.

你得到的兩個遙控器上的塑膠按鈕太厚了，我保證它們幾乎沒有反應，而且按下去也很費勁。

Now this thing sounds really special, I mean it's 200 games in one that are all in beautiful 32-bit!

現在，這東西聽起來真的很特別，我是說它集 200 款遊戲於一身，而且都是精美的 32 位遊戲！

We got sports games, arcade games, racing games, fu- fun games?

我們有體育遊戲、街機遊戲、賽車遊戲，還有好玩的遊戲？

Are you implying that not all of these games are fun?

你是在暗示這些遊戲並不都很有趣嗎？

Cause I'd believe you.

因為我會相信你

Now, unlike a lot of these awful bootleg consoles that come in from all around the world, the Lexibook comes from my own backyard, aka America.

現在，與許多來自世界各地的劣質盜版遊戲機不同，Lexibook 來自我的後院，也就是美國。

Obviously.

很明顯

I mean, it has to, right?

我是說，必須這樣，對嗎？

All of the promotional images use the same white family stock image.

所有宣傳圖片都使用相同的白色家族圖片庫。

Like the hot mom over here hardly looks invested, while the dad looks a little too into this thing.

比如這邊的辣媽看起來幾乎沒有投入，而爸爸則有點太投入了。

Oh my gosh, this image can tell a story.

哦，我的天哪，這幅畫可以講述一個故事。

The mom looks like she wants to speak to my manager, this kid's name is probably something stupid like Braxton, this girl probably has two names like Alexis May, spelt funny of course, and this guy looks like he's not allowed to be within 10 feet of a school.

這個媽媽看起來想和我的經理說話，這個孩子的名字可能是像布拉克斯頓（Braxton）這樣的蠢名字，這個女孩可能有兩個名字，比如亞歷克西斯-梅（Alexis May），當然拼法很滑稽，而這個傢伙看起來不允許出現在學校 10 英尺以內的地方。

Well that's about everything involving the promotional side of the console, I guess we now have to look at some games.

關於遊戲機宣傳方面的內容就介紹到這裡，我想我們現在得看看一些遊戲了。

What a ripoff.

真是坑爹。

Oh I'm sorry, I thought I plugged in the Lexibook, not a PERSONAL COMPUTER FROM 1994.

哦，對不起，我以為我插的是 Lexibook，而不是 1994 年的個人電腦。

Man, this is not a pleasing menu.

天啊，這菜單真不討人喜歡。

Who needs a stupid home screen with organized and pleasing apps, when you got folders.

有了文件夾，誰還需要一個愚蠢的主螢幕，上面排列著井井有條、賞心悅目的應用程序呢？

So we're probably not going to go through all of these games, but I'm going to try my best.

是以，我們可能無法完成所有這些比賽，但我會盡力而為。

BOMB SUPERMAN!

炸彈超人

Alright, I've already had enough.

好吧，我已經受夠了。

Bomb Superman, why would I do that?

炸彈超人，我為什麼要那麼做？

And what the heck are you pointing at?

你到底在指什麼？

Yes, I do see this game.

是的，我看到了這場比賽。

I just can't believe it.

我簡直不敢相信。

Huh.

咦？

So it's Bomberman.

原來是炸彈人

Super slow and laggy Bomberman.

超慢、滯後的炸彈人

Seriously, why does this game run like garbage, there's nothing going on.

說真的，為什麼這遊戲運行起來像垃圾一樣，什麼事都沒有。

And if this is what 32-bit looks like, I'm glad we live in a world where it didn't become popular.

如果這就是 32 位的樣子，我很高興我們生活在一個 32 位沒有流行起來的世界。

This is a bootleg.

這是盜版。

When you think of the word, bootleg video games, this is what comes to mind.

說到 "盜版電子遊戲 "這個詞，你一定會想到它。

Ugly 3D models trying their best to rip off a more successful product.

醜陋的 3D 模型竭力模仿更成功的產品。

Up next is Edacity Snakes.

下一個節目是 Edacity Snakes。

You talking about Edacity?

你說的是 Edacity？

Edacity.

Edacity.

That's a JonTron joke.

這是 JonTron 的笑話。

I literally ripped off a JonTron joke.

我真的是抄襲了 JonTron 的笑話。

Just like this game literally ripped off another bootleg from another bootleg console.

就像這款遊戲從另一款盜版遊戲機上剽竊了另一款盜版遊戲一樣。

It's Snake.

是蛇。

You don't have to pay money if you want to play this game.

如果你想玩這個遊戲，你不需要付錢。

Just open up the YouTube player when you have no internet and bam.

沒有網絡時，只需打開 YouTube 播放器，"砰 "的一聲就搞定了。

Remember that?

還記得嗎？

I don't even know if you can do that anymore, to be honest.

老實說，我都不知道還能不能這樣做了。

Okay, let's move on before I get more upset-y spaghetti.

好了，在我吃到更難吃的意大利麵之前，我們繼續吧。

Sword of Warrior.

勇士之劍

I mean, why not?

我是說，為什麼不呢？

Holy crap, that's epic.

我的天哪，這簡直是史詩。

This one's gotta be good.

這個一定不錯。

I mean, it's got fire and swords.

我的意思是，它有火和劍。

I hate everything.

我討厭一切。

Okay, so what we have here is a super well-designed and well-controlling game.

好了，我們現在看到的是一款設計精良、控制良好的超級遊戲。

If you've never played a video game before.

如果你以前從未玩過電子遊戲。

Got em.

找到了

It's an attempt at an arcade-style beat-em-up.

這是一款街機風格的遊戲。

Emphasis on the word attempt.

強調 "試圖 "一詞。

This is our main hero, the aptly named Sword of Warrior.

這就是我們的主角--"勇士之劍"。

I mean, to be fair, I've played worse arcade beat-em-ups.

我的意思是，公平地說，我玩過更糟糕的街機beat-em-up。

There was a Golden Axe remake on the PlayStation 2 that looked pretty similar to this game, and that was made by an actual company that supposedly cared about the game.

PlayStation 2 上有一款《金斧子》的重製版，看起來與這款遊戲非常相似，而且是由一家真正關心這款遊戲的公司製作的。

So I actually shouldn't be too harsh on this game.

所以，我其實不應該對這款遊戲太苛刻。

Okay, scratch that.

好吧，不說了。

I'm having a terrible time.

我現在過得很糟糕。

Next please!

下一位請！

Alright, this is uh...

好吧，這是...

Oh my gosh, never look at me again.

哦，天哪，別再看我了。

Okay, so here's Ninga Hero.

好了，這就是《人猿英雄》。

Dude, come on.

老兄，別這樣。

Like, are we even trying anymore?

比如，我們是否還在努力？

It's like a worse version of Sword of Warrior, which is saying a lot!

它就像是《勇士之劍》的劣質版，這已經說明了很多問題！

More ugly characters, unresponsive controls, and stiff gameplay.

更多醜陋的角色、反應遲鈍的操控和僵硬的遊戲。

This guy's a pretty terrible ninja, I gotta say.

我得說，這傢伙是個非常糟糕的忍者。

But as a Ninga, he's doing pretty good.

但作為一個寧加人，他做得還不錯。

I'd give him a gold star.

我會給他一顆金星。

And I'll give myself a ninja star to the back of my head so I can guarantee I never have to play this awful game again!

我會給自己的後腦勺上一顆忍者星，這樣我就能保證再也不用玩這款糟糕的遊戲了！

Now these games are great and all.

現在，這些遊戲都很棒。

No, they're not.

不，他們不是。

But this is a Wii ripoff, so I wanna play some games with motion controls!

但這是 Wii 的翻版，所以我想玩一些體感遊戲！

Here we go.

開始了

Paint.

油漆

Literally, MS Paint from Windows XP.

從字面上理解，就是 Windows XP 中的 MS Paint。

I'm not kidding!

我不是在開玩笑！

It's even got the red X in the corner like a computer application.

它的角落裡甚至有一個紅色的 "X"，就像一個電腦應用程序。

Now drawing with motion controls isn't exactly functional.

現在，使用體感控制進行繪畫並不完全實用。

However, it is pretty entertaining.

不過，它還是很有娛樂性的。

This game doesn't do that though, and makes you draw with the D-pad.

但這款遊戲沒有這樣做，而是讓你用 D-pad 繪圖。

Thanks Lexibook.

謝謝 Lexibook。

Alright now we're talking!

好吧，現在我們開始討論！

Some sports!

一些體育運動

A real manly man sport, like ping pong.

真正的男子漢運動，就像乒乓球。

At 3 frames per second.

每秒 3 幀。

Also, this wasn't even a game, it's a movie!

而且，這根本不是遊戲，而是電影！

Why?

為什麼？

Did they accidentally leave this in here?

他們是不是不小心把這個忘在這裡了？

What a nice little easter egg.

多好的復活節彩蛋啊

If that easter egg was 8 months old and rotting away.

如果那個復活節彩蛋已經有 8 個月的歷史，而且已經腐爛。

Oh now here's the goods!

現在有好東西了

Motion controlled sports games!

運動控制體育遊戲

Like tennis!

比如網球！

This one's pretty weird, and I'm not even sure if it's in a good way.

這個很奇怪，我都不知道是不是好的方面。

It's a first person tennis game, which does feel more virtual and interactive, but you can't see your tennis racket, meaning you're not 100% sure on when to swing.

這是一款第一人稱網球遊戲，確實更有虛擬感和互動性，但你看不到自己的網球拍，這意味著你無法百分百確定何時揮拍。

So when the ball comes in your general vicinity, 9 times out of 10 you just flail your arms like crazy!

是以，當球來到你附近時，你十有八九會瘋狂地揮舞手臂！

Also, holy crap, I'm hitting this ball at 100 miles an hour?

還有，我靠，我這球的時速是 100 英里嗎？

Sure doesn't feel like it.

當然感覺不像。

Snowball!

雪球

Featuring even more horrifying creatures!

擁有更多可怕的生物！

Seriously, at least try to look like you're having fun, come on man.

說真的，至少也得裝出一副玩得很開心的樣子，拜託，老兄。

Oh hey, look at this!

哦，嘿，看看這個！

A tutorial!

教程

Why start giving one now?

為什麼現在才開始？

Swing the controller to control the actor!

擺動控制器來控制演員！

Actor?

演員？

You know how most video games use the word character?

你知道大多數視頻遊戲是如何使用 "角色 "一詞的嗎？

You think you're better than Mario calling yourself an actor?

你覺得你比馬里奧自稱演員強？

It's what you think it is.

這就是你所想的。

You throw snowballs, and it's impossible to hit your opponent because this is a hardly responsive Wiimote!

你可以扔雪球，但不可能擊中對手，因為這個 Wiimote 幾乎沒有反應！

Okay, so here's a game that actually uses the motion controls really well.

好吧，這款遊戲確實很好地利用了體感控制。

Little Ninja, which is spelt correctly this time.

小忍者，這次拼寫正確了。

Still wish we could do something about that face though.

不過，我們還是希望能為那張臉做點什麼。

It's a first person action game, where ninjas and other non-threatening uglies advance toward you, and it's your job to fight them off.

這是一款第一人稱動作遊戲，在遊戲中，忍者和其他沒有威脅的醜陋傢伙向你前進，而你的任務就是擊退他們。

How do we do that?

如何做到這一點？

By swinging the remote like a madman!

像瘋子一樣揮動遙控器！

Seriously, there is no strategy whatsoever to it.

說真的，這完全沒有策略可言。

Go crazy!

瘋狂吧

You can even do some Naruto Jutsu stuff and burn everyone alive!

你甚至可以施展火影忍者之術，活活燒死所有人！

Here we got a game with cl-cl-clowns?

這裡有小丑的遊戲嗎？

The only clown I see here is me, for spending actual money on this console.

在我看來，唯一的小丑就是我，因為我花了真金白銀買了這臺遊戲機。

Ah!

啊！

Must be the circus!

一定是馬戲團！

Here's Candy Bear.

這是糖果熊。

Candy Bear?

糖果熊？

Meet YouTube.

認識 YouTube

YouTube, this is Candy Bear.

YouTube，這是糖果熊。

It's a...

這是一個...

It's a 2D side-scroller that literally rips off Mario 1!

這是一款 2D 側滾輪遊戲，從《馬里奧 1》中剽竊而來！

Seriously, this is World 1-1!

說真的，這是世界 1-1！

The block setup, the pipes...

塊的設置、管道...

This is a Mario rip-off in the purest sense of the word.

這簡直就是馬里奧的翻版。

Even the title screen music sounds a teensy tiny bit familiar.

就連標題畫面的音樂聽起來都有那麼一點點熟悉。

Yeah!

是啊

It goes dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun!

咚--咚--咚--咚--咚--咚--咚--咚--咚--咚--咚--咚！

So we complete level 1 by jumping down a flagpole.

是以，我們通過跳下旗杆來完成第一關。

Hmm, seems kinda familiar.

嗯，好像有點熟悉。

Level 2 is uh...

第 2 級是...

Well, what do you think?

你怎麼看？

It's level 2 from Mario.

這是馬里奧的第 2 層。

The dark underground setting with the exact same layout!

黑暗的地下環境，佈局完全相同！

I can't believe what I'm looking at!

我簡直不敢相信眼前的一切！

And what are these Goombas supposed to be?

這些 Goombas 應該是什麼？

They look like Lovecraftian horrors of the night.

它們看起來就像黑夜中的洛夫克拉夫特恐怖怪獸。

I mean, congratulations, seriously.

我是說，祝賀你，說真的。

Never have I ever encountered a more awful Mario rip-off!

我從未遇到過如此糟糕的馬里奧翻版！

I mean, could you honestly be any more shameless with your rip-offs?

我的意思是，你們還能再無恥一點嗎？

Oh!

哦！

Plumber.

水管工

Just Plumber.

Just Plumber.

What more do you need?

你還需要什麼？

And who are you?

你又是誰？

Anime Mario is in like the top 7 things this planet never needed.

動漫馬里奧是這個星球最不需要的七樣東西之一。

It literally looks like they just took the actual Mario artwork and just threw on a white-haired anime boy.

這簡直就像是他們把真正的馬里奧圖紙搬到了白頭髮的動漫男孩身上。

This is so surreal.

這太不真實了。

I still just can't believe I'm actually looking at anime Mario.

我還是不敢相信我真的在看馬里奧卡通片。

A bootleg Nintendo character on a bootleg Nintendo console.

盜版任天堂遊戲機上的盜版任天堂角色。

How fitting.

太合適了

The game itself is also just bootleg Super Mario Bros from the arcade.

遊戲本身也只是街機上的盜版《超級馬里奧兄弟》。

And anime Mario is no longer anime Mario.

動漫馬里奧不再是動漫馬里奧了。

What a scam.

真是個騙局。

So like, you get the idea, don't you?

你明白我的意思了吧？

So many ugly and unappealing games. 32-bit isn't exactly the best.

醜陋不堪的遊戲太多了。32 位並不是最好的。

Or at least, it wasn't utilized properly here.

或者說，至少在這裡沒有得到很好的利用。

All of the games are either shameless knockoffs of actual games or are simply nightmare fuel with its ugly visuals and unresponsive controls.

所有遊戲要麼是對真實遊戲的無恥山寨，要麼就是醜陋的視覺效果和反應遲鈍的操控，簡直就是噩夢的燃料。

Overall, I think it's safe to say that the Lexibook was a failure.

總的來說，我認為可以說 Lexibook 是失敗的。

Nowadays, Wii's are so cheap that if you are still buying a Lexibook over a Wii, then you are clearly a chaotic evil type of person.

如今，Wii 的價格已經非常便宜，如果你還在購買 Lexibook 而不是 Wii，那麼你顯然是一個混亂邪惡的人。

But I will say something nice about the Lexibook.

不過，我還是要說說 Lexibook 的好話。

It's better than the PlayStation Move.

它比 PlayStation Move 更好。

Or, as your white family would say, that really butters my biscuits!

或者，用你們白人家庭的話說，這真是給我的餅乾塗上了奶油！