It's a B2B company that provides cloud storage for Fortune 500 companies.Chet, what did the market research turn up?What?

切特，市場調研結果如何？

Oh, I googled them, but the results were weird.You didn't use the market research database that we spend thousands of dollars a month on and that you were specifically trained to use.I quit.

你沒有使用我們每月花費數千美元、專門培訓你使用的市場調研數據庫。

This job is different than I thought it would be. Stop.

這份工作和我想象的不一樣。別說了

Does this situation look familiar?A new type of worker has entered the workforce.

這種情況是否似曾相識？

They're called millennials, and they're terrible.Today, I'm going to teach you all about this new breed of worker so you can avoid misunderstandings in which you feel the need to fire them immediately.In the first reimagination we just saw, Mary makes the classic mistake of not reassuring Chet while offering overflowing amounts of praise.Chet, you were so smart to use Google.

他們被稱作千禧一代，他們非常糟糕。今天，我將向大家介紹這種新型員工，這樣你就可以避免誤解，不會覺得有必要立即解僱他們。在我們剛剛看到的第一個重新想象中，瑪麗犯了一個典型的錯誤，她在對切特大加讚賞的同時，卻沒有安慰他。

That's the perfect way to start the research.

這是開始研究的最佳方式。

You're so smart.

你真聰明

Great job. So, the conference call is scheduled for 10.30.So that we're on the same page, let's do a pre-call about 9.30 a.m.I don't understand.Noodle.

幹得好那麼，電話會議定在10點30分，為了讓我們保持一致，讓我們在上午9點30分左右開個會前電話會議吧。

Noodles. 9.30.

麵條9.30.

Nine?

九個？

Thirty?Cheryl Sandberg here isn't aware time exists before 10.30 a.m.

謝麗爾-桑德伯格不知道上午 10 時 30 分之前還有時間。

To her generation, there's a mysterious dead zone after 4 a.m. and before they stroll into work 40 minutes late with their iced coffee.

對她這一代人來說，凌晨 4 點之後，在他們端著冰咖啡遲到 40 分鐘上班之前，有一個神祕的死角。

So take that into consideration for scheduling. That's very difficult for me.

所以在安排時間時要考慮到這一點。這對我來說非常困難。

Fine.

很好

I'll take the call myself.

我自己接電話。

Oh, thank you.

哦，謝謝。

Nailed it.Here's that report that you asked for.

這就是你要的報告。

Thanks.Morgan did exactly what was asked of her.

謝謝。摩根完全按照要求做了。

Nothing more, nothing less.

僅此而已。

She expects a raise and promotion.

她期待加薪和晉升。

Thanks.Junior Executive Manager of Data Consulting.

數據諮詢初級執行經理。

Is that better than Assistant Manager of Junior Accounts?

這比初級會計助理經理更好嗎？

Yes.

是的。

Oh, my God.

我的天啊

Thank you.

謝謝。

I'm going to go call my parents.

我要去給我父母打電話。

Now you're getting it.I need to take work off tomorrow for a mental health day.Did you know millennials can actually be exceptionally creative with reasons why they need to miss work?

現在你明白了吧。我明天需要請假，過心理健康日。你知道千禧一代其實可以非常有創意地提出曠工的理由嗎？

These eccentric excuses are normal to them.

這些古怪的藉口對他們來說很正常。

And they will be to you, too.

他們也會這樣對你。

Sure.

當然。

That's a normal thing. Hi.

這很正常你好

I know I only get ten days paid vacation, but that wouldn't count a three-week Argentinian surf spirit quest, right?

我知道我只有十天帶薪休假，但這不算為期三週的阿根廷衝浪精神之旅，對吧？

No.

不

Why would it?Why don't you go home early today?

你今天為什麼不早點回家？

That's it.

就是這樣。

Any questions? Why even hire millennials?Oh, right.

有問題嗎？為什麼要僱用千禧一代？

Well, millennials comprise 19% of the workforce.

千禧一代佔勞動力的 19%。

If none of them worked and their parents supported them, it would cripple our economy and China would take over.So, unfortunately, it's your civic duty to employ them.Trust us.

如果他們都不工作，由父母供養，我們的經濟就會癱瘓，中國就會取而代之。

We want to fire them all, too.

我們也想把他們全部開除。

But we can't.

但我們做不到。

We can't.

我們不能。