Carly.

卡莉

Carly.

卡莉

Keep it together.

冷靜下來

You can do this.

妳可以的

Stay with me Carly

卡莉 我在這

Carly...

卡莉…

Carly

卡莉

Carly, are you there?

卡莉 妳在嗎?

You're here now.

妳現在就在這

There's no avoiding it.

沒得逃避

Where?

哪裡?

The first step. Reminiscing and retracting

第一階段 緬懷與收回

I don't wanna get up.

我不想起床

That's fine. You can lay here all day.

不要緊 妳可以躺一整天

You can cry all night.

哭一整晚也沒關係

You are allowed to do all the things you've promised to yourself that you'll never do.

那些自己發誓絕不去做的事 儘管去做

Like listen to an old voice message to hear his voice

例如 聽舊語音訊息 只為了聽他聲音

Sorry I missed your call. I'm in subway right now. But I'll call you back later, okay?

抱歉 沒接到電話 我在電車上了 晚點打給妳 好嗎

Or wish him message you. Just so you know, he was thinking of you too.

或 期待收到他的簡訊 這樣妳才知道 他也在想妳

But at the same time, when she wouldn't. Because it would only make you miss him more.

但同時 又不希望他傳來 因為這只會讓妳更想他

And you know you shouldn't, but… you text him. Maybe even call him.

雖知道不行 但…還是傳訊給他了 甚至打給他

You've fight it. But you lose.

內心有掙扎過 但…輸了

You watch the sappy rom coms.

妳邊看著那些白癡浪漫喜劇

It's cliché but go ahead. Eat from the crumbs.

雖然有點老套 但…吃吧 盡情狼吞虎嚥

I miss everything about him.

我想念他的一切

What do you miss?

像是什麼?

How steady he felt when I hug him tight.

懷念緊緊抱著他時 充滿內心的安全感

The way he would rest his chin on top of my head.

想念他下巴偎著我頭頂時的 那種感覺

Sharing his hand felt when he catch me through the crowd.

懷念穿越人群時 他緊緊握著我的手

That look in his eyes when he accidentally ate the last cookies.

想念他不小心吃掉最後一塊餅乾時 望向我的眼神

Sweety kisses after he worked out which made me cringed every time. But…

他健身完 會故意親我 每次我都拼命閃躲 但…

now it just make me smile.

現在想起來 卻讓我微笑

I miss it all.

我想念過去的一切

That's okay. You're allowed to. You're supposed to.

沒關係 妳可以想念 這很正常

It's okay you do look like crap and not caring.

想邋里邋遢 不修邊幅 也沒關係

Who do you try to impress anyway.

反正也不用為誰打扮了

Do you see him?

妳看見他了嗎?

Everywhere

他無處不在

Hey. It's okay to purposely avoid all those places in the pain.

嘿 就儘管避開令人心痛的場所吧

You just wanna be alone.

妳只想要獨處

You friend insist on taking you out. But… all you want is

朋友們堅持帶妳去走走 但…妳想要的只是

To shut off all the lights.

關掉所有的燈

Curl up in bed and cry some more.

把自己蜷曲在床上 再哭一會

Your friends are try to help by saying:

朋友們想幫妳走出來 於是說

You can do so much better.

妳值得更好的人

I didn't like him in anyways.

反正我其實也不太喜歡他

I don't want to hear any of that.

我不想聽這些

It doesn't help at all.

這些話一點用也沒有

I just… wanna back in my life.

我只想…回到之前的生活

Or do you just miss the thought of him?

還是 妳只是懷念有他的生活?

You miss the routine, the comfort, the body, that's all, right?

想念那些甜蜜日常 安全感 肉體溫度 就只是這樣 對吧?

No. at this point, you just miss him.

不 在這個時間點 妳就只是想他

And that's okay.

沒關係的

Carly…

卡莉…

Carly. Are you there?

卡莉 妳在嗎?

Yeah.

嗯

Do you wanna get up?

想起床了嗎?

Actually, I do.

其實 我想耶

How long was I there?

我賴在這裡多久了呀?

It doesn't matter. All that matter is that you're ready

這不重要 重要的是 妳準備好了

For the next step

下一個階段

Release

釋放

I'm hungry.

好餓喔

I think you can put some effort into looking sort of decent.

我想 妳該試著讓自己看起來像樣一點

What does that to do?

要怎麼做?

Brushing your hair? Maybe a little eye shadow. Some blush?

梳個頭吧 再上點眼影 塗點腮紅?

Yea. No. you're right. No blush yet.

好吧 妳是對的 先別上腮紅

Call up one or two of your close friends to catch up.

約一兩個好姊妹 聊聊近況

You're ready to talk a little bit about your ex. But this time with a clear hair.

已經能聊點前男友了 這次 頭髮是整齊的

You might see cute guys for their eyes but nothing stirs inside your heart.

妳可能會與帥哥對到眼 但心中不會起任何漣漪

No butterflies, no sparks, no interest.

不會小鹿亂撞 擦不出火花 激不起興趣

Because I still miss him. You'll for a while

因為我還在想他 這還會持續一陣子

but at least the urge of contact him or check up become less frequent.

但至少 不再一直有衝動想打給他

You just have to learn to suppress those urges now.

現在得學著去壓抑這些渴望

How long will I be here?

我會在這階段待多久?

As long as you need to be.

需要待多久 就待多久

You're up early. -I'm ready.

今天真早! -我準備好了!

The next step. Rebuilding.

下一階段 重建

One day becomes two. Two becomes a week.

一天變成兩天 兩天變成一週

Weeks become months. And soon you're ready to prove to yourself that you can live on.

幾週變成幾月 很快的 妳準備好證明自己能獨立生活了

You actually wanna go out. Socialize, meet new people.

妳渴望出門走走 與人交流 認識新朋友

You talk, laugh, flirt.

與人聊天 談笑 調情

Yes even flirt. Or whatever you call what you just did.

沒錯 甚至調情 不管用哪個詞 總之就是妳剛剛做的動作

I'm a little rusty. -It's okay. It's been a while.

我還不太習慣 -沒關係 畢竟有好一陣子了

As long as you're smiling again.

只要能再度微笑 就好

You start doing things toward a better version of you.

妳開始邁向一個更好的自己

Trying the fruit clans. Finally taking that trip to Europe.

嘗試養生蔬果汁 終於去了趟歐洲

Trying yoga for the first time. cutting your hair…

第一次體驗瑜珈 剪頭髮…

Oh, okay. Nothing too crazy.

噢 好吧 別那麼瘋

Running a marathon, checking out a museum,

跑馬拉松 參觀博物館

cleaning out your old clothes.

清掉所有舊衣服

You start to see life without him.

開始發現 沒有他 也能生活

Carly.

卡莉

It was the first time he came over.

這是他第一次來我家時

I cooked spaghetti and he got a stain on it.

我煮了義大利麵 他衣服弄髒了

I put it into a wash away.

所以脫下來 拿去洗

We ended up talking for hours.

最後因此聊了好幾個小時

And he forgot it here.

後來它就被忘在這了

You've made so much progress Carly. Please.

卡莉 妳進步很多了 真的

I kept it in the closet as a reminder of that night.

後來我把衣服留在衣櫃裡 紀念那晚

That was almost four years ago.

都過了快四年了

I thought he was the one.

我曾相信 他就是對的人

We both did.

我們都曾這樣相信著

Yeah. It did feel special.

沒錯 曾覺得這段感情很特別

It was.

對 曾經

And it always will be.

以後也都會在心裡有個特別位置

Sometimes no matter how hard you try,

有時 不管妳多努力

something can always hold you back for moving on.

總是有東西能阻止妳繼續向前

A lingering memory, a false hope.

一抹回憶徘徊 一絲虛妄期待

And you fold back a few steps.

讓妳又後退了幾步

But if you could be strong, you'll finally make it out.

但 只要妳夠堅強 總有一天會走出來的

Renewed

重生

The world is brighter, happier, lighter.

世界變得更明亮 更愉悅 更輕盈

That huge weight of pain and fear has been left and all you feel is excitement.

痛苦與恐懼不再是不可承受之重 妳只感受到興奮

Excitement for what's to come. Excitement for the possibilities.

期待即將到來的事物 期待各種可能性

At this point, it's not even about finding another person to love.

這時 甚至不用刻意去找個新戀人

It's about finding who you are as a person. As a human

而是認識自己 從心出發

It's only when you don't have to consider anyone else that you could focus completely on your own life.

不用再考慮他人 認真活出自己的人生

And creating the best possible version of yourself.

創造出最美好的自己

But there's no harm in smiling back at the cute guy in coffee shop.

不過 對咖啡店的帥哥回以微笑也是無妨

Even the strong cry,

就連強者也會哭泣

when no one's looking

趁著沒人注意的時候

we try

我們嘗試

not to be scared on the outside,

讓自己看起來無所畏懼

but I know that there's strength from the fall,

但我知道 失敗使人堅強

it's not weak, to be weak at all.

容許自己脆弱 其實並不脆弱