Kids grow up in that game.

孩子們就是在這種遊戲中長大的。

They end up more familiar with the Minecraft world than their own household.

他們對 Minecraft 世界的熟悉程度最終超過了對自己家庭的熟悉程度。

Like, this boogeyman doesn't exist anymore, now it's Herobrine.

比如，這個惡靈已經不存在了，現在是赫伯林。

Or maybe even that's outdated, I don't know.

也許這已經過時了，我也不知道。

The only thing I know for sure is Herobrine is real.

我唯一可以確定的是，Herobrine 是真實存在的。

I watched it slit the throat of my grandfather to squeeze out the diamonds from his cold corpse.

我看著它割開我祖父的喉嚨，從他冰冷的屍體上擠出鑽石。

Point is, Minecraft is huge.

重點是，Minecraft 是個龐然大物。

So it was only a matter of time before a live-action movie was made to capitalize on the success of the property.

是以，製作一部真人電影來利用該片的成功只是時間問題。

And rejoice, because that time is now.

歡呼吧，因為現在就是時候了。

The Minecraft movie trailer just dropped.

威廉與魔獸》電影預告片剛剛發佈。

And the reception has been lukewarm at best.

而人們的反應充其量只是冷淡。

In fact, I'm being pretty generous by calling it lukewarm.

事實上，我把它稱作 "冷淡 "已經很寬容了。

There was about as much cheering for this as there was when I hit my last free throw in my high school basketball career.

現場的歡呼聲不亞於我高中籃球生涯最後一次罰球。

And it was really only my parents clapping because we got blown out in that final game.

其實只有我的父母在鼓掌，因為我們在最後一場比賽中被淘汰了。

Ever since the film was announced as a live-action movie, people were quick to write it off just saying things like, there's no way they'll be able to make that watchable, it'll probably just be garbage.

自從該片被宣佈為真人電影后，人們很快就將其一筆勾銷，說什麼 "他們不可能把它拍得好看，很可能就是垃圾 "之類的話。

And now that the teaser's dropped, that's confirmed a lot of people's suspicions that, yep, this is gonna be turbo-ass.

現在，預告片已經發布，證實了很多人的猜測：是的，這將是一部 "渦輪屁股 "電影。

Jack Black as Steve is the biggest one people are pointing the finger at here.

傑克-布萊克（Jack Black）飾演的史蒂夫是人們最大的矛頭所指。

So, Jack Black plays Steve.

傑克-布萊克扮演史蒂夫。

For those of you that don't know Minecraft, which is zero people watching, I'll still just show you anyway, this is Steve.

對於那些不知道威廉與，這是零的人看，我還是隻告訴你，無論如何，這是史蒂夫。

He's basically just playing Jack Black, but in a blue shirt.

他基本上就是在扮演傑克-布萊克（Jack Black），只不過穿了一件藍色襯衫。

It looks like he rolled out of bed and they gave him this blue shirt and said, alright, now you're Steve.

看起來就像他從床上滾下來，然後他們給了他一件藍色襯衫，說，好吧，現在你是史蒂夫了。

As if it's Captain America's shield or something.

好像是美國隊長的盾牌什麼的。

It's pretty low effort from the costume department here that people were making fun of.

人們取笑的是服裝部門的低級趣味。

It'd be like if they made a live-action Simpsons movie and I was cast as Homer and this was my costume.

這就好比他們拍了一部真人版的《辛普森一家》電影，我扮演荷馬，這就是我的服裝。

Because Homer also wears a white shirt.

因為荷馬也穿白襯衫。

Like, fucking porn parodies put more work into the costuming.

比如，該死的色情模仿在服裝上多下點功夫。

Like, Spongenob Square Nuts.

比如，Spongenob 方形堅果。

They had a whole getup for him that you could immediately identify as, oh, that's supposed to be SpongeBob.

他們為他準備了一整套服裝，你一眼就能認出，哦，那應該是海綿寶寶。

Here, if he didn't say, I am Steve, I would have had no fucking clue, personally.

在這裡，如果他不說 "我是史蒂夫"，我個人根本不知道。

Just like I have no clue who Jason Momoa is supposed to be here, he looks like a character I would have made and dressed to impress on Roblox, just combining random shit onto the character.

就像我不知道傑森-莫莫亞（Jason Momoa）在這裡應該是誰一樣，他看起來就像我在 Roblox 上做的一個角色，只是把一些亂七八糟的東西拼湊到這個角色上，打扮得讓人印象深刻。

He looks like someone in the Witness Protection Program who's going undercover to see a Credence Clearwater revival concert.

他看起來就像一個參加了證人保護計劃的人，臥底去看一場克雷登斯清水復興音樂會。

But at the very least, that's fun.

但至少，這很有趣。

Like, Jason Momoa just being like a, you know, quirky, zany-looking character here in the trailer?

比如，傑森-莫莫亞在預告片中就像一個，你知道的，古怪的，看起來很滑稽的角色？

Like, that's interesting.

就像，這很有趣。

Jack Black as Steve is just...

傑克-布萊克飾演的史蒂夫簡直...

Man, you didn't even really try.

老兄，你甚至都沒怎麼試過。

Like, Jack Black is a huge draw.

比如，傑克-布萊克（Jack Black）就是一個巨大的吸引力。

Most people really like Jack Black, and he's been in a lot of huge movies recently.

大多數人都非常喜歡傑克-布萊克，他最近出演了很多大片。

If I could, I'd ask the Men in Black to neuralize the knowledge of Borderlands out of my fucking craniums, that way I don't have to remember that Jack Black was in that atrocity.

如果可以，我想讓黑衣人把《邊陲之地》的知識從我他媽的腦子裡神經化，那樣我就不用記得傑克-布萊克演過那部暴行了。

But he's been in some great films, and it looks like he's the go-to now for these studio execs to pick up for children's movies.

不過，他出演過一些很棒的電影，而且看起來他現在是這些製片廠主管們挑選兒童電影的首選。

And based off this teaser, this is very clearly aimed at kids.

從預告片來看，這顯然是針對兒童的。

This is made for toddlers.

這是專為幼兒設計的。

I'm talking, like, actual milk-drinking, fucking snot-nosed, diaper-soiling children.

我說的是真正喝牛奶、流鼻涕、弄髒尿布的孩子。

This isn't like the Super Mario Bros. movie, where pretty much anyone of all ages can appreciate that film.

這部電影不像《超級馬里奧兄弟》，幾乎所有年齡段的人都能欣賞這部電影。

This one really seems, at least based on this very first glimpse, that it is entirely made for kids that love Minecraft.

至少從第一眼看上去，這款遊戲似乎完全是為喜歡 Minecraft 的孩子們量身打造的。

Not anyone who loves Minecraft.

不是任何喜歡威廉與魔獸的人。

The style of the film is just also kind of off-putting.

影片的風格也有點令人反感。

Danny summed it up best by saying it looks like a Honda commercial.

丹尼用 "看起來像本田的廣告 "來概括它。

It also just kind of reminds me of something Clash of Clans would have posted on their YouTube channel as, like, a Facebook ad or something.

這也讓我想起了《部落衝突》在其 YouTube 頻道上發佈的類似 Facebook 廣告之類的東西。

The animation style is not revolting or anything, except for this stupid fucking thing.

動畫風格並不令人反感，除了這個該死的蠢東西。

But the integration of live-action into it just is not done super well in this teaser.

但在這支預告片中，真人表演與之融合的效果並不是很好。

It really looks kind of haphazardly thrown together.

它看起來真的有點像是胡亂拼湊起來的。

Like, the live-action characters just don't blend with the animation as well as I would have thought it would.

比如，真人角色與動畫的融合並沒有我想象的那麼好。

This movie would have been significantly better if it was just fully animated, instead of trying to shoehorn and ham-fist in, like, Jack Black and Jason Momoa just for the sake of having big-name star power draw to it.

如果這部電影只是完全動畫化，而不是為了吸引大牌明星的關注，就把傑克-布萊克（Jack Black）和傑森-莫莫亞（Jason Momoa）等人硬塞進來，這部電影的效果會好得多。

Like, they could have voiced in it.

比如，他們可以在裡面配音。

You know, like, I don't know why they didn't take a page out of the Super Mario Bros. playbook, which was very positively received, absolutely crushed it in the box office, and for some reason, Minecraft completely ignores that, comes out here and shits their whole ass with this teaser, which is not being positively received.

我不知道他們為什麼不借鏡《超級馬里奧兄弟》的做法，這部電影反響很好，票房絕對碾壓《超級馬里奧兄弟》，而《威廉與魔獸》卻完全無視這一點，一上來就用這個反響平平的預告片把他們的屁股 "涮 "了一遍。

If it was fully animated, I think it would have stood a far better chance.

如果它是完全動畫的，我想它的機會就會大得多。

Ultimately, though, I don't think it's going to matter to the main demographic the movie is trying to appeal to, which is kids.

不過，我認為這對這部電影想要吸引的主要觀眾群（即兒童）來說並不重要。

They're not going to care.

他們不會在意的。

Kids will just endlessly let videos autoplay, rotting their goddamn brains, just watching, like, Finger Family or whatever else just happens to scroll through.

孩子們會無休止地讓視頻自動播放，讓他們的大腦腐爛，只顧著看《手指家族》或其他任何剛好滾動播放的視頻。

They're not going to be bothered by things like the live-action and animation don't work together super well.

他們不會因為真人和動畫配合得不好而煩惱。

But just because I'm not the target audience for this movie doesn't mean I can't insult it and point out its shortcomings.

但我不是這部電影的目標觀眾，並不意味著我不能侮辱它，指出它的缺點。

What are they going to do, have the Enderman come fuck me?

他們會怎麼做？ 讓安德曼來操我？

This just isn't great-looking, and a lot of people aren't very happy with it, especially because apparently it's been 10 years in the making.

它的外觀並不好看，很多人對此並不滿意，尤其是因為它顯然已經制作了 10 年之久。

Like, they started scripting this back in 2014 from what I read.

據我所知，他們早在 2014 年就開始編劇了。

What a weird use of 10 years.

10 年的時間用得真怪。

What it seems to me, and I could be totally wrong here, I got the tinfoil hat on for this, is they may have had, like, a bunch of different scripts over the course of the decade, and then they started seeing video game movies succeed, like Sonic, like Detective Pikachu, like Super Mario Bros.

在我看來，我可能完全弄錯了，我戴著錫箔紙的帽子，他們在這十年裡可能有很多不同的劇本，然後他們開始看到電子遊戲電影成功了，比如《索尼克》、《神探皮卡丘》、《超級馬里奧兄弟》、《侏羅紀世界》、《侏羅紀世界》、《侏羅紀世界》、《侏羅紀世界》、《侏羅紀世界》、《侏羅紀世界》、《侏羅紀世界》和《侏羅紀世界》。

And then they just started to rush, like, Okay, we need to capitalize on this ASAP.

然後他們就開始著急了，比如，好吧，我們得儘快利用這個機會。

It's hot right now.

現在很熱

We have to strike while the iron is hot.

我們必須趁熱打鐵。

We gotta go!

我們得走了

And then they push this out.

然後他們就把這個推了出去。

At least that's the impression I get here.

至少這是我在這裡得到的印象。

Who knows, though?

誰知道呢？

Maybe this was the original vision from the start.

也許這就是最初的設想。

All the way back in 2014, they said, We need Jablinski games in here.

早在 2014 年，他們就說過，我們需要雅布林斯基的比賽。

Playing Steve.

扮演史蒂夫

Regardless, though, right now it's only one teaser, so maybe the next one comes out and it's great.

不過，不管怎樣，現在只是一個預告片，也許下一個預告片出來就會很棒。

It blows us all away.

這讓我們都大吃一驚。

You know, maybe the movie comes out and it's extraordinary.

你知道，也許電影上映後會非常出色。

But I doubt it.

但我對此表示懷疑。

And many others are doubting it as well.

許多人也對此表示懷疑。

That's about it.

僅此而已。

See ya.

再見