I'll go first.

我先來。

I had a patient come in and actually express to me that my mother in the afterlife had sent them a message to bring to me.

有一個病人來找我，說我來世的母親給他們捎了個口信，讓他們帶給我。

They weren't even interested in receiving medical care, they just wanted to give me the message. Weird visit.

他們甚至對接受醫療服務都不感興趣，只想給我傳遞信息。真是奇怪的拜訪。

My name is Jake Goodman and I'm in my last year of psychiatry residency.

我叫傑克-古德曼，現在是精神病學住院醫師的最後一年。

The worst thing that a patient has ever said to me was "You are a Harry Potter, Peter Parker-looking shrink." Yeah, I can't even be mad at that. That was pretty creative.

病人對我說過的最糟糕的話是：「你是長得像哈利波特跟彼得帕克的心理醫生。」是的，我甚至不能為此生氣。那很有創意。

Hi, my name is Ben Schmidt, also known as Doc Schmidt, and I'm a gastroenterologist, also known as a GI doctor.

大家好，我叫本-施密特，也叫施密特醫生，我是一名腸胃病醫生，也叫消化道醫生。

Now, as a GI doctor, I take care of a lot of people with liver disease.

現在，作為一名消化道醫生，我照顧了很多肝病患者。

One consequence of a liver disease called cirrhosis is that patients can develop fluid in their belly called ascites that causes their belly to balloon out and can cause a lot of pain and discomfort.

肝硬化這種肝病的一個後果是，患者的腹部會出現一種叫做腹水的積液，這種積液會導致腹部膨脹，引起疼痛和不適。

Now, sometimes we have to drain that fluid out using a large needle.

我們有時不得不用一根大針將腹水引流出來。

It typically has a yellowish clear color, so it looks a little bit like urine.

它通常呈淡黃色透明色，所以看起來有點像尿液。

I was doing the drainage procedure on a patient for the first time and he told me that he thought the fluid looked like beer.

我第一次給病人做引流手術，他告訴我，他覺得液體看起來像啤酒。

I laughed it off, kind of shrugged it off at first, but he kept coming back to it, stating he thought it looked like beer and he wondered what it would taste like.

我一笑置之，起初還想推脫，但他一直在說，他覺得這看起來像啤酒，不知道喝起來會是什麼味道。

At one point, he even wondered if he could sell it.

有一次，他甚至在想，能不能把它賣掉。

I told him no.

我告訴他不行。

Hi, I'm Dr. Glockenflecken. I am actually a board certified ophthalmologist.

你好，我是格洛肯弗萊肯醫生。實際上，我是一名經過認證的眼科醫生。

A patient once told me that they saw my skits and that they were kind of funny.

曾經有一位病人告訴我，他們看過我的短劇，覺得「有點」好笑而已。

Hi, I'm Dr. Siobhan Deschauer, although online you may know me as ViolinMD. I'm a rheumatologist, so I specialize in joints and autoimmune diseases.

大家好，我是 Siobhan Deschauer 醫生，不過在網上你們可能只知道我是 ViolinMD。我是一名風溼病學家，所以我專門研究關節和自身免疫性疾病。

You know, I can't really think of something outrageous or terrible.

你知道，我實在想不出什麼過分或可怕的事情。

I don't know, maybe Canadian patients are just a little bit more polite. But I did recently have this older patient in the hospital who kept calling me sweet cheeks.

我不知道，也許加拿大病人就是比較有禮貌。但最近醫院裡確實有一位年長的病人一直叫我甜心臉頰。

I still don't know how I feel about that.

我還是不知道自己是怎麼想的。

I kind of wanted to say that's Dr. Sweet Cheeks to you, sir.

我想對你說那是甜心臉頰醫生，先生。

I'm Dr. Gary Linkov. I'm an ENT specialist with subspecializations in facial plastics and hair restoration surgery.

我是加里-林可夫醫生，我是一名耳鼻喉科專家，副專業是面部整形和頭髮修復手術。

Most of my patients know by now that I have an autoimmune hair loss condition, but some of them don't quite know.

我的大多數病人都知道我患有自身免疫性脫髮，但有些人還不太清楚。

So they might look at me and say, "Hey, you know, if you're doing hair restoration and you're going to try to make my hair better, why don't you go and try to fix your hair first?"

所以他們可能會看著我說：「嘿，你知道，如果你在做頭髮修復，你想讓我的頭髮變得更好，為什麼你不先去嘗試修復你的頭髮呢？」

That can sometimes be a bit hurtful.

這有時會有點傷人。

But when I explain to them what's actually going on, then they get it.

但當我向他們解釋實際情況時，他們就明白了。

And they usually respond quite well to that.

他們的反應通常都很好。

What's up, guys? I'm Dr. Antonio Webb, a board-certified orthopedic spine surgeon, also called the back doctor, just because patients after surgery, they just keep coming back.

你們好嗎？我是安東尼奧-韋伯醫生，是一名經過認證的骨科脊柱外科醫生，也被稱為「背部醫生」，因為病人在手術後會不斷回來。（back 有背部跟回來的意思）

One of the worst things a patient has ever said to me as a spine surgeon is, "Hey, doc, I googled my symptoms and I think you're wrong."

作為一名脊柱外科醫生，病人對我說過的最糟糕的一句話就是：「嘿，醫生，我上網查了我的症狀，我覺得你錯了。」

I find it funny that a 10 minute search on Google trumps my 10 plus years of medical school and training.

我覺得很有趣，在谷歌上搜索 10 分鐘就能勝過我在醫學院接受的 10 多年培訓。

Hello, my name is Danielle Bilardo. I'm a cardiologist in Los Angeles, California, and I specialize in cardiovascular disease prevention.

你好，我叫丹妮爾-比拉多。我是加州洛杉磯的一名心臟病專家，擅長心血管疾病的預防。

A patient with triple vessel coronary artery disease and systolic heart failure once told me they plan to continue taking over 100 supplements recommended to them by a naturopath they saw on TikTok.

一位患有三血管冠狀動脈疾病和收縮性心力衰竭的病人曾告訴我，他們計劃繼續服用在 TikTok 上看到的自然療法醫生向他們推薦的 100 多種保健品。

Instead of following lifesaving guideline directed medical therapy.

而不是遵循救生指南指導的醫療療法。

I have a deep empathy for patients like this because it breaks my heart to see them fall victim to so much online misinformation.

我對這樣的病人深有同感，因為看到他們成為如此多網絡錯誤信息的受害者，我的心都碎了。

It is not their fault.

這不是他們的錯。

They're overwhelmed and misled by the sheer volume of conflicting advice that they find online.

他們被網上大量相互矛盾的建議所迷惑，不知所措。

My name is Dr. Anthony Yoon, and I'm a board certified plastic surgeon. I'm a YouTuber and a podcaster.

我叫 Anthony Yoon 醫生，是一名經過委員會認證的整形外科醫生。我是一名 YouTuber 和播客。

When I first started my practice, I had a patient who told me that she wanted to hit me with her car and she was so angry with me.

我剛開始執業時，有一個病人告訴我，她想開車撞我，她對我非常生氣。

She said, "I'm going to send you back to LA where the only people who will let you operate on them are the whores."

她說：「我要把你送回洛杉磯，那裡只有妓女才會讓你給她們做手術。」

"The whores," she screamed at me.

「只有那些妓女」，她對我尖叫道。

Now I had performed a facelift on her a couple of months earlier, and honestly, she looked really good, but she was very unhappy with the results.

幾個月前，我給她做了拉皮手術，說實話，她看起來真的很不錯，但她對手術效果很不滿意。

So unhappy that she threatened that if I didn't pay her $150,000 in cash, that she was going to all sorts of bad things to me.

她很不高興，威脅說如果我不付給她 15 萬美元現金，她就會對我做各種壞事。

Well, this was my first foray as a young plastic surgeon with body dysmorphic disorder.

作為一名年輕的整形外科醫生，這是我第一次患上身體畸形障礙。

And many years later, she actually tried this whole thing on another plastic surgeon as well.

很多年後，她還在另一位整形外科醫生身上 試過這整件事。

Hey, I'm Dr. Dhaval Bhanusali, a board certified dermatologist here in New York City.

嘿，我是達沃-巴納薩利醫生，紐約市皮膚科認證醫師。

The meanest thing a patient's ever said to me, probably not what they said.

病人對我說過的最刻薄的話，可能不是他們說的話，

I've had a bunch of patients come in here with sunburns and broke my heart.

有很多曬傷的病人來找我，我都心碎了。

Hi, I'm Dr. Brian Boxer-Wachler. I'm an aka eye surgeon.

你好，我是布萊恩-博瑟-瓦克勒醫生。我是一名眼科醫生。

There was one day when my office was just super busy with patients and some people were waiting excessively long time, which we really don't ever like to have happen.

有一天，我的辦公室裡病人超多，有些人等了很長時間，我們真的不希望發生這種情況。

But this one patient was just dropping all these F-bombs with me.

但這個病人卻對我狂罵 F 開頭的髒話。

And I said, "Sir, if you're going to continue like this, we're just going to not continue this relationship."

我說：「先生，如果你要繼續這樣下去，我們就得解除醫病關係了。」

And he kept dropping F-bombs.

但他還是不停地罵 F 髒話 。

So as a result, despite his frustration, I had to fire him.

所以儘管他很沮喪，我還是不得不解僱了他。

You are done. Fired.

你的任務完成了。你被解雇了。

Hello, my name is Austin Chiang, and I'm an interventional gastroenterologist.

我叫奧斯汀-張，是一名介入性胃腸病專家。

The worst thing a patient has actually said to me is probably that they've lost faith in science or medicine in general, and that they'd rather trust something that they read on the internet or through social media.

病人對我說過的最糟糕的一句話可能是，他們已經對科學或醫學失去了信心，他們寧願相信在網上或社交媒體上讀到的東西。

I get it.

我懂。

If you have a complex chronic condition that you've seen doctor after doctor for and gotten no satisfying answers, it can be really, really frustrating.

如果你患有複雜的慢性疾病，看了一個又一個醫生，卻得不到滿意的答案，這真的會讓你非常非常沮喪。

And if medical training has taught me anything, it's that we don't know everything about the human body and we have limitations and we can only treat people based on the best available evidence at the moment.

如果說醫學培訓教會了我什麼，那就是我們並不瞭解人體的一切，我們有侷限性，我們只能根據目前現有的最佳證據對人進行治療。

But that doesn't mean that you can trust something on the internet that people come up with out of thin air that sound really appealing because they're easy solutions but aren't based on any evidence and might not have any clear benefit.

但這並不意味著你可以相信網上那些人們憑空想出來的東西，這些東西聽起來很吸引人，因為它們很容易解決，但卻沒有任何證據，而且可能沒有任何明顯的好處。

Hello, my name is Mauricio, but everybody calls me Dr. Mao. I'm triple board certified in internal, emergency and obesity medicine.

大家好，我叫 Mauricio ，但大家都叫我毛博士。我擁有內科、急診和肥胖症醫學的三重認證。

We were about to see a patient and then the patient in front of everybody explicitly said he did not want to be seen by me.

當時我們正要去看一個病人，然後那位病人當著所有人的面明確表示他不想讓我看病。

Everybody looked at me and gasped.

大家都看著我，倒吸一口氣。

And I politely said, "Why?"

我禮貌地說：「為什麼？」

And he said, "I don't know. You don't give me a good vibe."

他說：「我不知道。你給我的感覺不太好。」

And needless to say, I felt terrible.

不用說，我感覺糟透了。

Hey, everyone. My name is Dr. Sanjay Juneja, and I'm a hematologist and medical oncologist, otherwise known as a blood and cancer specialist.

大家好，我叫 Sanjay Janeja 博士，是一名血液和腫瘤內科醫生，也就是血液和癌症專家。

The worst thing a patient ever said to me was something along the lines of having to wait a while before being seen for their benign blood problem.

病人對我說過的最難聽的話莫過於良性血液問題要等一段時間才能看病。

And what I had mentioned, you know, it's a difficult conversation proceeding, which was a young patient with stage four cancer, it kind of replied with basically saying, well, you never know what that person probably had done to deserve that diagnosis.

我剛才提到的，你知道，這是一個艱難的談話過程，這是一個患有第四期癌症的年輕患者，它的回答基本上是說，好吧，你永遠不知道那個人可能做了什麼值得這樣的診斷。

That taught me that there is a lot of need for education and kind of understanding about one of these challenging processes like cancer.

這讓我認識到，對於癌症這種具有挑戰性的病症，我們有很多教育和了解的需求。

Hi, my name is Dr. Alok Patel. I'm a pediatric hospitalist.

大家好，我是阿洛克-帕特爾博士。我是一名兒科住院醫生。

If a child is hospitalized, my people are on it.

如果有孩子住院，我的人就會去處理。

What is the worst thing a patient's ever said to me?

病人對我說過的最難聽的話是什麼？

It's sad that, like, I have multiple options to choose from.

可悲的是，我有多種選擇。

I've had multiple patients accuse me of profiting from death or illness or being in bed with big pharma.

曾有多個病人指責我從死亡或疾病中牟利，或者與大藥廠同流合汙。

But the winner, or I should probably say loser, I did have one patient threaten me and say that he was going to find my address and kill me.

但贏家，或者我應該說是輸家，確實有一個病人威脅我說，他要找到我的地址，然後殺了我。

Obviously, the situation was handled.

顯然，情況已經得到了處理。

We called the cops.

我們報警了。

It's no longer a thing.

這不再是個問題了。

But still, harsh.

但還是很刺耳。

These are things you should never do in the hospital.

這些都是在醫院裡絕對不能做的事情。

Click here to check that out.

點擊這裡查看。

And as always, stay happy and healthy.

一如既往，保持健康快樂。