Name: 我的宗教創傷故事｜基督徒的介入 (My Story of Religious Trauma | A Christian Intervention)
Uploaded: 2024-09-15T04:08:53.000Z
Duration: 47 min 17 s

動名詞

Hi friends, welcome back to my channel. If you don't already know, my name is Christi, and this channel is all about deconstructing our former Christian beliefs.

嗨，朋友們，歡迎回到我的頻道。如果你們還不知道的話，我叫克里斯蒂，這個頻道主要是解構我們以前的基督教信仰。

to 不定詞

But today's episode is going to be quite a bit different than my normal content, because I'm not going to be reading through Bible stories or deconstructing the teachings of Jesus.

但今天的節目將與我平時的內容有很大不同，因為我不會通讀《聖經》故事，也不會解構耶穌的教誨。

未來簡單式

Instead, I want to share a very personal story that I think will be very relevant to the content that I make here.

相反，我想分享一個非常私人的故事，我認為它與我在這裡所做的內容非常相關。

I think it's important that ex-Christians, they share their stories of religious trauma.

我認為前基督徒分享他們的宗教創傷故事非常重要。

The whole purpose of this channel is to encourage critical thinking so that we can reduce harm.

本頻道的宗旨就是鼓勵批判性思維，從而減少傷害。

And we can cut down on the amount of harm that is being caused in the name of Jesus, God, Christianity, these ideologies.

我們可以減少以耶穌、上帝、基督教、這些意識形態的名義造成的傷害。

And so if I'm going to talk about the harm and talk about the religious trauma, I think it's only fair that I share my story.

是以，如果我要談論傷害，談論宗教創傷，我認為分享我的故事才是公平的。

And I talk about how it impacted me, because I am just one person in a sea of thousands, millions of other people who have also experienced religious trauma.

我講述了它對我的影響，因為我只是成千上萬、數百萬同樣經歷過宗教創傷的人中的一個。

I think it's really important that I share this story so that I can provide some background and context to why I'm here.

我認為分享這個故事真的很重要，這樣我就可以提供一些背景資料，讓大家知道我為什麼來這裡。

This is not an attempt to gain your sympathy or to make you feel bad for me.

這不是為了博取你的同情，也不是為了讓你為我感到難過。

This is something that happened to me a long time ago.

這是很久以前發生在我身上的事情。

It has deeply impacted me and my mental health, but I am healing.

它深深地影響了我和我的心理健康，但我正在痊癒。

And so this is not an attempt to gain sympathy from you.

是以，這並不是在博取你們的同情。

Secondly, this is not a story about why I lost my faith or why I'm no longer a Christian.

其次，這不是一個關於我為何失去信仰或為何不再是基督徒的故事。

A lot of times Christians tend to think that it is our church hurt or our religious trauma that causes us to lose faith.

很多時候，基督徒往往認為是我們在教會受到的傷害或宗教創傷導致了我們失去信仰。

But they don't realize that there's a lot of steps usually in between.

但他們沒有意識到，這中間通常還有很多步驟。

And that often the church hurt comes after we've already started questioning and losing our faith.

而教會的傷害往往是在我們已經開始質疑和失去信仰之後才出現的。

So it's really important that we make that distinction right up front.

是以，我們必須先把這一點區分開來。

I also want to say that even though this was incredibly traumatic for me and that I have experienced symptoms of PTSD since this event,

我還想說的是，儘管這件事給我造成了極大的創傷，而且自那次事件後，我出現了創傷後應激障礙的症狀、

I consider myself very lucky that this is the most traumatic thing that's happened to me.

我認為自己很幸運，這是我經歷過的最痛苦的事情。

Because there's a lot of people out there that have experienced a lot worse.

因為有很多人經歷過更糟糕的事情。

But one thing that I've learned about trauma is that it does not care who else has experienced what.

但關於創傷，我學到的一點是，它並不關心其他人經歷了什麼。

You don't get to choose what traumatizes you.

你無法選擇什麼會給你帶來創傷。

You don't get to choose what impacts you negatively.

你無法選擇對你產生負面影響的事物。

And it's just something you have to live with and deal with.

這是你必須面對和處理的問題。

你們很多人可能都知道這一點。

我是土生土長的南方浸信會教徒。

I said the prayer to be saved at five years old.

我五歲的時候就做了得救的禱告。

And though I was raised in a very strict fundamentalist culture, we were also Baptists.

雖然我是在非常嚴格的原教旨主義文化中長大的，但我們也是浸禮會教徒。

And if you know anything about Baptists, they can be pretty wishy-washy.

如果你對浸禮會有所瞭解，就會發現他們非常躊躇滿志。

Like one foot in the church, one foot in the world.

就像一隻腳在教會，一隻腳在世界。

So that kind of gives you some idea of how I was raised.

是以，你可以大致瞭解我是如何長大的。

It was very much, our religion was very much for show.

在很大程度上，我們的宗教在很大程度上是擺設。

And up until I was about 14, 15, my upbringing was, I think, relatively normal.

在我 14、15 歲之前，我的成長環境相對正常。

Though very steeped in that Southern Christian culture.

雖然深受南方基督教文化的影響。

I was allowed to listen to secular music.

But then when I was about 14, I rededicated my life to Jesus.

但在我 14 歲左右時，我重新把生命獻給了耶穌。

And then from there on out, I really got serious about my faith.

從那時起，我開始認真對待自己的信仰。

And I think this also kind of encouraged my home life and my family.

我認為這也鼓勵了我的家庭生活和家人。

And I'd say I was a bit of a golden child in my family.

So I had a lot of responsibility to do things the right way and to be an example.

是以，我有很大的責任以正確的方式做事，併成為榜樣。

是以，我非常認真地對待這個角色。

And I devoted myself to the teachings of Jesus and to the church.

我全身心地投入到耶穌的教誨和教會中。

And then when I was about 17, I really started questioning what I believed.

大約 17 歲時，我開始質疑自己的信仰。

Because I was being exposed to new ideologies.

因為我接觸到了新的意識形態。

我在《聖經》中挖掘得更深了。

A lot of questions that people couldn't answer.

So I started really digging into it for myself.

And when I was around 18, I started going to a different church.

大約 18 歲時，我開始去另一個教會。

Because I felt like the church that I was raised in wasn't really aligning with what I was finding out about the Bible and about Jesus.

因為我覺得我成長的教會與我所發現的《聖經》和耶穌並不一致。

And so I wanted to kind of branch out and try something new.

是以，我想嘗試一些新的東西。

於是，我家人就去了他們的教堂。

And through that process, I only got more confused.

而在這個過程中，我只會更加困惑。

That everyone who claimed to be a Christian had their own idea about who Jesus was and what the Bible said.

每個自稱是基督徒的人都對耶穌是誰以及《聖經》的內容有自己的看法。

And I just, through my searching and my desperation of trying to find God and trying to find the truth, I became more confused.

我只是，通過我的尋找，通過我試圖找到上帝和試圖找到真理的絕望，我變得更加困惑。

Very, very tired of trying to figure things out.

非常、非常疲憊地試圖搞清楚事情。

So I kind of put my relationship with God on pause.

是以，我暫停了與上帝的關係。

我仍然認為自己是一名基督徒。

But I didn't know what to believe about God and Jesus.

但我不知道該如何相信上帝和耶穌。

And I wanted to be a normal 18-year-old girl.

I lived in a college town, so there was always partying going on.

我住在大學城，所以經常有聚會。

And I was making friends that were going to these parties.

我交到了很多朋友，他們都會參加這些派對。

And so I, too, started going to these parties and living a little bit more of that worldly lifestyle that they warn you about in the church.

於是，我也開始參加這些聚會，過上了他們在教會里警告你的那種世俗的生活方式。

And this caused a lot of concern in my family.

I was kind of butt in heads with my parents for a while.

有一段時間，我和父母鬧得很僵。

And one day I actually tried to move out.

I moved in with someone that I knew at that time who offered me kind of a temporary place to stay.

我搬到了當時認識的一個人家裡，他給了我一個臨時住處。

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我的宗教創傷故事｜基督徒的介入 (My Story of Religious Trauma | A Christian Intervention)

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authentic

panic

trauma