And today I wanted to share several of these life lessons and small little mindset changes that have helped me so much ever since I first learned them.

今天，我想與大家分享其中的幾堂人生課和一些小小的心態改變，自從我第一次學到它們以來，它們對我幫助很大。

And I hope it might do the same for you.

我希望它也能為你帶來同樣的效果。

I also briefly want to thank our friends over at Headspace for sponsoring today's video.

我還想簡要感謝 Headspace 的朋友們贊助今天的視頻。

Headspace is my favorite meditation app.

Headspace 是我最喜歡的冥想應用程序。

But we're going to chat more about them a little bit later.

不過，我們稍後再聊。

For now, grab a drink, get cozy, and let's get started.

現在，拿上一杯飲料，找個舒適的地方，讓我們開始吧。

When I first met my partner, Robin, he was telling me a story about how when he was a little boy, he was taking taekwondo lessons.

當我第一次見到我的搭檔羅賓時，他給我講了一個故事，說他小時候是如何上跆拳道課的。

And sometimes he just couldn't kick high enough or he couldn't break the wooden planks.

有時，他只是踢得不夠高，或者無法踢碎木板。

And so frustrated, he'd say, I can't do it.

他沮喪地說，我做不到。

And his teacher would reply, no, I can't do it yet.

他的老師會回答說，不，我還做不到。

And five years later, that little boy got his black belt.

五年後，那個小男孩拿到了黑帶。

And what I love so much about the story is that from a young age, this teacher was essentially instilling in him a growth mindset instead of a fixed mindset.

我非常喜歡這個故事的一點是，這位老師從小就給他灌輸了一種成長型思維模式，而不是固定型思維模式。

Because somebody with a fixed mindset believes that skills and talents are innate, something that they're born with.

因為擁有固定思維模式的人認為，技能和天賦是與生俱來的，是與生俱來的。

Whereas somebody with a growth mindset believes that hard work rather than talent alone is important in success.

而擁有成長型思維模式的人則認為，成功的關鍵在於勤奮，而不僅僅是天賦。

And it's one of the most powerful mindsets that you can have, because it essentially makes time your ally.

這是你能擁有的最強大的心態之一，因為它本質上讓時間成為你的盟友。

Eventually, everything is possible.

最終，一切皆有可能。

So anytime you catch yourself thinking, I can't do it, switch it to, I can't do it yet.

是以，無論何時，當你發現自己在想 "我做不到 "時，就把它改成 "我還做不到"。

In social situations, I'm hyper aware of whether what I'm saying or doing is coming across as awkward.

在社交場合，我非常在意自己說的話或做的事是否讓人覺得尷尬。

Or if I'm at the gym, for example, I'm nervous that people are watching my every move and silently critiquing my form.

再比如，如果我在健身房，我就會緊張，害怕別人在看我的一舉一動，默默地責備我的姿勢。

And what I've come to learn is that this anxiety in psychology has a name.

我逐漸瞭解到，這種焦慮在心理學上是有名字的。

It's called the spotlight effect.

這就是所謂的聚光燈效應。

It's when you feel like all eyes are on you.

這時，你會覺得所有人的目光都集中在你身上。

But in reality, most people are too wrapped up in their own concerns to pay much attention to anyone else.

但在現實生活中，大多數人都沉浸在自己的憂慮中，而不會去關注其他人。

As Eleanor Roosevelt once famously said, you wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.

正如埃莉諾-羅斯福曾經說過的一句名言：如果你意識到別人對你的看法很少，你就不會那麼擔心別人對你的看法了。

Most people simply don't care.

大多數人根本不在乎。

And I have found that thought so liberating because it's helped me feel more comfortable just being myself.

我發現這種想法非常自由，因為它讓我更自在地做自己。

When we want to make a diet change, when we want to eat more healthfully, it can be really tempting to want to eliminate foods that we think are harmful, like cutting out chocolate and chips, for example.

當我們想改變飲食習慣，想吃得更健康時，很容易就會想去掉那些我們認為有害的食物，比如不吃巧克力和薯片。

The problem with restrictions though, is it can really mess up our relationship with food.

但限制的問題在於，它真的會擾亂我們與食物的關係。

And I'd like to think that all food has a place at the table and it's more just about finding balance rather than strict elimination.

我認為，所有食物在餐桌上都有一席之地，更重要的是找到平衡點，而不是嚴格杜絕。

So what if we shifted our focus from exclusion to inclusion?

那麼，如果我們將重點從排斥轉向包容呢？

So instead of saying something like, I want to stop eating donuts, we would say, I want to eat more fruits and veggies.

是以，與其說 "我不想再吃甜甜圈了"，不如說 "我想多吃水果和蔬菜"。

Instead of saying, I want to stop eating out, we'd say, I want to make food at home more often.

與其說 "我想停止在外就餐"，不如說 "我想更多地在家做飯"。

It's more forgiving and more motivating because we're not focusing on what we want to eliminate.

這更寬容，也更有動力，因為我們並沒有把注意力集中在我們想要消除的東西上。

We're emphasizing what we want to add, creating a diet based on abundance.

我們強調的是我們想要增加的東西，創造一種以豐富為基礎的飲食。

I wish somebody had told me this sooner, that it is okay to change.

我希望有人早點告訴我，改變是可以的。

When I was in university and I had to change my major or later in life when I completely changed career paths, I was consumed with this fear that I was just throwing away all of this time and effort that I had invested.

當我在大學裡不得不改變專業時，或者在以後的人生中完全改變職業道路時，我都會有一種恐懼感，擔心自己投入的時間和精力就這樣白白浪費掉了。

And I was so embarrassed to admit to other people that I had changed my mind again.

我不好意思向別人承認我又改變了主意。

And it just felt like everybody else had their path figured out and my uncertainty just felt like a personal failure.

感覺就像其他人都想好了自己的路，而我的不確定性就像個人的失敗。

And the same fear even gripped me when I decided to go plant-based.

當我決定以植物為食的時候，同樣的恐懼甚至籠罩著我。

I was hesitant to share the news with other people because I didn't know what they were going to think.

我很猶豫是否要把這個消息告訴其他人，因為我不知道他們會怎麼想。

But what I've come to learn is that change is not something to be ashamed of.

但我逐漸認識到，改變並不是一件羞恥的事。

It's actually incredibly inspiring because it's a sign that you're listening to your inner voice and you're evolving into the person you're meant to become.

這其實是非常鼓舞人心的，因為這標誌著你正在傾聽自己內心的聲音，你正在逐漸成為你想要成為的那個人。

But most importantly, be patient with yourself when you're journeying to a place you've never been before.

但最重要的是，當你前往一個從未去過的地方時，要對自己有耐心。

My sister once told me how you brush your teeth is how you do everything.

我姐姐曾告訴我，刷牙的方式就是你做任何事情的方式。

And literally the night before I was thinking to myself, oh my gosh, I'm so restless when I'm brushing my teeth.

就在前一天晚上，我還在想，天哪，刷牙的時候我真是坐立不安。

I just want it to be over with as quickly as possible so I can move on to the next thing.

我只想盡快結束，這樣我就可以繼續做下一件事。

And this kind of restlessness also spills over to other areas of my life.

這種不安也蔓延到我生活的其他方面。

Like I am always rushing when I'm walking or rushing when I'm doing the dishes.

比如我走路時總是匆匆忙忙，洗碗時也是匆匆忙忙。

And I think that's exactly what my sister was trying to tell me.

我想這正是我姐姐想告訴我的。

That the way you do one thing is the way you do everything.

你做一件事的方式就是你做所有事的方式。

If we're always feeling like we're in a hurry, if we're always feeling like we need to do more, our entire life starts to feel frazzled, overwhelming and anxiety inducing.

如果我們總是覺得自己很匆忙，如果我們總是覺得自己需要做更多的事情，那麼我們的整個生活就會開始變得焦頭爛額、不堪重負和令人焦慮。

And so the only antidote I think is to learn to slow down.

是以，我認為唯一的解藥就是學會放慢腳步。

But it's not just as easy as wanting to slow down, right?

但這並不只是想慢下來那麼簡單，對嗎？

Because it takes practice, especially if we're used to rushing through life all the time.

因為這需要練習，尤其是當我們習慣了匆匆忙忙的生活時。

And this is where Headspace has made the biggest difference in my life.

而這正是 Headspace 給我的生活帶來最大改變的地方。

So Headspace is a mindfulness app that helps you find calm and clarity.

是以，Headspace 是一款能幫助你找到平靜和清晰的正念應用程序。

And if we're talking just a few life lessons in this video, consider Headspace to have hundreds of life lessons packed into it.

如果我們在這段視頻中談論的只是一些人生道理，那麼可以認為 Headspace 包含了數百條人生道理。

It has helped me learn to slow down.

它讓我學會放慢腳步。

It's helped me learn to let go of things I can't control and just embrace whatever situation I'm in.

它讓我學會放下我無法控制的事情，擁抱我所處的任何環境。

I'm just going to come back to that feeling of being present, being balanced in both body and mind.

我只想回到那種身臨其境、身心平衡的感覺。

So within the app, you're going to find everything from mindfulness walks to becoming a more mindful eater, to meditations that are specifically designed to help you unwind and enjoy a better night's sleep.

是以，在這款應用程序中，你會發現從正念散步到變得更有正念的飲食，再到專為幫助你放鬆和享受更好睡眠而設計的冥想，應有盡有。

And Headspace has been gracious enough to offer to our audience an exclusive 40% discount on their subscription.

此外，Headspace 還慷慨地為我們的閱聽人提供了 40% 的獨家訂閱折扣。

So if you want to snatch it up, it's just for a limited time.

所以，如果你想搶購的話，這只是在有限的時間內。

This offer, you can scan this QR code right here or check out the link I'll leave for you in the description box below.

您可以掃描這裡的二維碼，或者查看我在下面描述框中為您留下的鏈接。

I have been using Headspace for nearly a decade now, and it has changed my life.

我使用 Headspace 近十年了，它改變了我的生活。

So I'm really excited for you to try it out too.

所以，我真的很期待你也能嘗試一下。

If you're consistently falling short of meeting your goals, the problem might not be you, but how you're setting up the goals.

如果你總是達不到目標，問題可能不在於你，而在於你如何設定目標。

So let me explain.

讓我來解釋一下。

If you're somebody who's always feeling like, I want to get an A on my exam, or I want to win first place, or I want to reach 10,000 views on my video.

如果你總是覺得，我想在考試中拿 A，或者我想拿第一名，或者我想讓我的視頻達到 10,000 次觀看。

These things can seem like great targets, but they're based on outcomes.

這些看似偉大的目標，其實是建立在結果基礎上的。

Outcomes you can't fully control.

你無法完全控制的結果

And so if you don't hit the targets, it can start to feel really discouraging.

是以，如果你沒有達到目標，就會開始感到非常氣餒。

So see if you can instead shift your focus from end results to actions that you can control instead.

所以，看看你是否能把注意力從最終結果轉移到你可以控制的行動上。

So for example, instead of saying, I want to reach 10,000 views on my video, you can commit to producing two videos a week, or commit to training three days a week, or studying a couple hours every night.

是以，舉例來說，與其說 "我想讓我的視頻瀏覽量達到 10,000 次"，你可以承諾每週製作兩個視頻，或者承諾每週訓練三天，或者每天晚上學習幾個小時。

With these goals, we're focused on inputs, actionable and measurable goals that we can achieve.

有了這些目標，我們就能專注於我們能夠實現的投入、可操作和可衡量的目標。

And when we focus on what we can control, the results often just take care of themselves.

當我們把注意力集中在我們能夠控制的事情上時，結果往往就會水到渠成。

Imagine having everything you've ever wanted in your life right now.

想象一下，你現在就能擁有生活中想要的一切。

But would it even be possible, given that we have so many conflicting desires?

但是，鑑於我們有如此多相互衝突的願望，這可能嗎？

Like we dream of traveling the world, but we also crave the stability of a permanent home.

就像我們夢想環遊世界，但我們也渴望有一個穩定的家。

Or maybe we dream of starting a family, but at the same time, we cherish our independence.

或者，我們夢想成家立業，但同時又珍視自己的獨立性。

Like I remember a few years ago, I was video chatting with my mom, and I was telling her how homesick I was.

記得幾年前，我和媽媽視頻哈拉，告訴她我有多想家。

On the one hand, I loved living in Europe, and I was building this life with my partner, and it was amazing.

一方面，我喜歡在歐洲的生活，我和我的伴侶一起創造著這樣的生活，這真是太棒了。

But at the same time, I so fiercely missed my family back home in Canada.

但與此同時，我又非常想念加拿大老家的家人。

My mom said, you will have everything you've ever wanted in your life, just never all at the same time.

我媽媽說，你會擁有一生中想要的一切，只是永遠不會同時擁有。

And that grounded me.

這讓我感到踏實。

It helped me so much.

這對我幫助很大。

It helped me realize that our dreams and our goals, they often unfold in stages.

它讓我認識到，我們的夢想和目標，往往是分階段展開的。

And while we might wish that everything happens all at once, there's a beauty in each dream materializing in its own time.

雖然我們可能希望所有事情都能一蹴而就，但每個夢想都能在自己的時間裡實現，這也是一種美。

When I was working as a dietitian, and somebody would come to me and say, hey, I wanna follow this specific diet, or I wanna try this juice cleanse, or I wanna eliminate this specific food, what do you think?

當我作為一名營養師工作時，有人來找我說，嘿，我想遵循這種特定的飲食習慣，或者我想嘗試這種果汁清腸法，或者我想不吃這種特定的食物，你怎麼看？

My response was always, can you imagine sticking to this way of eating for the next five years?

我的回答總是，你能想象未來五年都堅持這種飲食方式嗎？

If the answer is no, it's probably not the best approach.

如果答案是否定的，那麼這可能不是最好的方法。

And it's just a simple question to help us rule out if what we're trying to follow is a quick fix.

而這只是一個簡單的問題，可以幫助我們排除我們試圖遵循的是否是一種速效療法。

And when it comes to quick fixes, usually they only give short-term results.

而說到速效救心丸，通常只能帶來短期效果。

But real change happens with consistent effort over time.

但真正的改變需要長期不懈的努力。

The daily habits.

日常習慣

As Gretchen Rubin once said, what you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while.

格雷琴-魯賓曾經說過，每天做什麼比偶爾做什麼更重要。

So if you ever come across someone who says you should eat a certain way, or you shouldn't eat a certain food, before you give in, just ask yourself honestly, can I see myself following this advice not just for the next week, but can I see myself eating this way consistently for the next five years?

是以，如果你遇到有人說你應該以某種方式進食，或者你不應該吃某種食物，在你屈服之前，請誠實地問自己：我能看到自己不僅在下週遵循這個建議，而且能看到自己在接下來的五年裡一直以這種方式進食嗎？

And if the answer is no, it's probably a good idea to find a more balanced approach.

如果答案是否定的，那麼找到一種更平衡的方法也許是個好主意。

I was once talking to a therapist.

有一次，我和一位心理醫生談話。

I was telling her about this goal I really wanted to achieve, but I was so afraid of failing.

我告訴她我很想實現這個目標，但我很害怕失敗。

And she asked, are you afraid or are you excited?

她問，你是害怕還是興奮？

And I said, no, I'm afraid.

我說，恐怕不行。

And she asked again, are you sure?

她又問，你確定嗎？

Because the physical sensations of fear and excitement are very similar.

因為恐懼和興奮的生理感覺非常相似。

We often think that fear means we're doing something wrong.

我們常常認為，恐懼意味著我們做錯了什麼。

But what if it's just showing us that we care about the outcome, that we're invested?

但如果這只是在向我們表明，我們關心結果，我們投入其中呢？

What if we saw fear as excitement for what could happen next?

如果我們把恐懼看作是對接下來可能發生的事情的興奮，那又會怎樣呢？

In the words of the author, Corey Allen, going from being worried about what might happen to being excited about what might happen is only a mindset shift away.

用作者科裡-艾倫（Corey Allen）的話說，從擔心可能發生的事情到為可能發生的事情感到興奮，只需要轉變一下心態。

And so now anytime I feel fear, I'll say out loud, nope, I'm excited.

是以，現在只要我感到恐懼，我就會大聲說：不，我很興奮。

It literally transforms the paralyzing effects of fear and anxiety into an openness to try new things.

它從字面上將恐懼和焦慮的癱瘓效應轉化為嘗試新事物的開放性。

We're stuck with ourselves every single day.

我們每天都被自己困住。

Other people come and go, but we're with ourselves forever.

別人來了又走，但我們永遠和自己在一起。

And so it's really important that we are intentional and kind in the way that we talk to ourselves.

是以，我們必須有意識地、善意地與自己對話，這一點非常重要。

And so this is a little trick that I use.

這就是我使用的一個小竅門。

It's gonna sound weird, but just bear with me.

這聽起來很奇怪，但請耐心聽我說。

Anytime you're talking about yourself in your mind, try to use the third person.

任何時候，當你在腦海中談論自己時，儘量使用第三人稱。

Because I think we tend to beat ourselves up a lot and we say things like, I'm so dumb or I'm so ugly.

因為我覺得我們往往會自責，我們會說 "我好笨"、"我好醜 "之類的話。

But if we shift to third person instead and say, Sadie's so dumb, she's so ugly, kind of sits weird because we're not used to talking about other people like that, hopefully.

但如果我們換成第三人稱，說 "Sadie 太笨了，她太醜了"，感覺就有點怪怪的，因為我們不習慣這樣談論別人，但願如此。

But we will talk about ourselves like that.

但我們會這樣談論自己。

And so when we switch to third person, I find that we tend to soften our words.

是以，當我們換成第三人稱時，我發現我們的言辭往往會變得柔和。

So we might instead say, she felt so dumb because she didn't know what to say or she feels really ugly because she doesn't like what she's wearing.

是以，我們可能會說，她覺得自己很笨，因為她不知道該說什麼，或者她覺得自己很醜，因為她不喜歡自己的穿著。

It makes the whole thing feel less intense and more just like we're working through a problem instead of attacking ourselves.

這讓整件事感覺不那麼緊張，更像是我們在解決問題，而不是在攻擊自己。

Look, you can walk away from a bully, but you can't walk away from yourself.

聽著，你可以遠離惡霸，但你無法遠離自己。

So you want your mind not to be a place where you feel scared and criticized, but a place where you feel safe and supported.

是以，你希望自己的心靈不是一個讓你感到害怕和責備的地方，而是一個讓你感到安全和支持的地方。

So just make sure you're building yourself up and not tearing yourself down.

所以，只要確保你是在塑造自己，而不是在摧毀自己。

But now for the best part, I am so curious to know if there are any thoughts, life lessons, quotes that you've learned that have helped to improve your life.

但現在是最精彩的部分，我很想知道，你是否有任何有助於改善生活的想法、人生經驗和名言。

If you're willing to share it, I think everybody's gonna love just going through the comments and absorbing all of the wisdom that's down there.

如果你願意分享，我想每個人都會喜歡瀏覽評論，吸收其中的智慧。

I know I'm looking forward to it.

我知道我很期待。

So I'll see you in the comments.

我們評論區見。

Thanks so much for hanging with me today, friends.

朋友們，非常感謝你們今天和我在一起。

I really appreciate it.

我真的很感激。

Makeup Limes signing off, and I'll see you in the next video.

Makeup Limes 簽收，我們下期視頻再見。