Twenty-some-odd million years ago, there was a bit of a rodent situation.

兩千多萬年前，齧齒動物的情況有點糟糕。

Things had cooled off a bit, and the emerging grasslands were perfect for general rodent activities.

天氣已經涼爽了一些，新出現的草原非常適合一般的齧齒動物活動。

Around the same time, there was a group of emerging carnivores, the mustelids, that saw all of this as an opportunity for a buffet.

大約在同一時間，一群新出現的食肉動物--鼬科動物--將這一切視為自助餐的機會。

Now the innovation of the rodent, those meatballs of the field, was the ability to dig and burrow with their claws and ever-growing front teeth.

現在，齧齒動物--這些田野裡的肉球--的創新之處在於它們能夠用爪子和不斷生長的門牙挖掘和鑽洞。

And it can be a challenge if your favorite snack is packaged in a maze of tunnels.

如果你最喜歡的零食被包裝在迷宮般的隧道里，那將是一項挑戰。

So the innovation of the mustelids, like this one right here, was to develop a body plan that could go right into the tunnels after them.

所以鼬科動物的創新，就像這裡的這隻鼬科動物 就是發展出了一種身體結構 可以在它們之後直接進入隧道

Their bodies got longer and their legs shorter, until they took the form of a kitten snake.

它們的身體越來越長，腿越來越短，直到變成小貓蛇的樣子。

Which is obviously awesome, but there's trade-offs just like anything else.

這顯然是件好事，但就像其他任何事情一樣，也要有所取捨。

You can see how good a ferret is in a tunnel. I mean, that's some crouched-down walking right there.

你可以看到雪貂在隧道里有多厲害。我的意思是，這就是蹲著走路的樣子

But if you're all stretched out like that, you're basically planking the whole time.

但如果你像這樣伸展開來，你基本上就是一直在打板子。

And it's a great ab workout, but it takes some doing.

這也是一種很好的腹部鍛鍊方法，但需要一些時間。

So, when they walk out in the open, they arch their backs and bring their legs closer together, to better bear the weight.

是以，當它們在戶外行走時，它們會弓起背，雙腿併攏，以便更好地承受重量。

On the plus side, they can use their bodies like a spring when they run.

好的一面是，他們在奔跑時可以像彈簧一樣利用自己的身體。

Here's a demonstration by a leased weasel.

下面是一隻租來的黃鼠狼的演示。

It's a ridiculous name. I can think of plenty of things less of a weasel than that.

這名字真可笑。我能想到很多比它更不像黃鼠狼的東西。

Your mom's screwdriver. That's less.

你媽媽的螺絲刀少了點

Sudoku. I could go on.

數獨我還可以繼續說下去。

Your mom. Sorry, just wanted to say that.

你媽媽對不起，我只是想說

Anyway, these stretched-out rodent hunters became quite successful, and evolved into a diverse group of animals alive today.

總之，這些伸展開來的齧齒動物獵手取得了相當大的成功，進化成了今天生活著的多種多樣的動物群體。

One thing, though, that they all seem to have in common is that they're fierce little f**kers.

不過，它們似乎都有一個共同點，那就是它們都是凶猛的小****。

I mean, no wonder. That's what happens when you spend a few million years hunting in a hole.

這也難怪這就是在洞裡打獵幾百萬年的結果。

Think about it. It's pitch black down there.

想想吧下面漆黑一片

You're in a narrow tube, and the thing you're hunting has teeth that can chew through wood.

你在一個狹窄的管子裡，而你要獵殺的東西有可以咬斷木頭的牙齒。

Jerry, this doesn't look intimidating.

傑瑞，這看起來並不嚇人。

Looks like it forgot its lines at an audition.

看來它在試鏡時忘了臺詞。

Well, this one's even worse, Jerry. It looks like Mr. Magoo is a Furby.

這個更糟，傑瑞看起來Magoo先生是個Furby。

That line dates me, doesn't it?

這句臺詞讓我過時了，不是嗎？

Anyway, to deal with rodents that I believe would be scary coming at you in a tunnel, mustelids evolved disproportionately strong jaws.

總之，為了對付齧齒類動物，我相信它們在隧道里向你衝過來會很嚇人，鼬科動物進化出了不成比例的強壯下顎。

Many animals go wider when they want a stronger bite, but mustelids went long, with lots of leverage for those muscles to work through.

許多動物想要咬得更有力時，會把嘴張得更大，但鼬科動物的嘴卻很長，它們的肌肉有很多槓桿作用。

And the connection between the lower and upper jaw is a strong, tight fit.

下頜和上頜之間的連接牢固而緊密。

Stays together even as a skull.

即使是骷髏頭也能保持在一起。

A dog or a human lower jaw just falls off.

狗或人的下顎就會脫落。

Anyway, having spent their evolutionary childhood performing face-first colonoscopies of rodent tunnels, mustelids were plenty ready to f*** things up when they ventured out into the rest of the world.

總之，在進化過程中，鼬鼠的童年是在齧齒動物的道地裡臉朝下地進行結腸鏡檢查，所以當它們冒險來到外面的世界時，它們已經做好了充分的準備，要把事情搞得一團糟。

The mustelid perhaps best known for its bad acidness is the honey badger, with its ability to fart bees and squirt acid from its nipples.

鼬科動物中最出名的可能是蜜獾，它能放蜜蜂屁，還能從乳頭噴出酸液。

Jerry, that's obviously not true.

傑裡，這顯然不是真的。

What do you mean, how do I know?

你什麼意思，我怎麼知道？

Jerry, nothing farts bees, alright? Do your job.

傑瑞，沒有什麼能讓蜜蜂放屁，好嗎？做好你的工作

Anyway, here you can see a honey badger that has a python right where it wants it.

總之，你可以在這裡看到一隻蜜獾，它把蟒蛇逮個正著。

Jerry, again, that honey badger is clearly f***ed. Look at it.

傑瑞，再說一遍，那隻蜜獾顯然已經完蛋了。看看它

Oh great, now it's going to be eviscerated by jackals too.

哦，太好了，現在它也要被豺狼吃掉了。

Oh s***, you were right. That's crazy.

哦，你是對的。太瘋狂了

I mean, the snake definitely thought this was going to end different.

我是說，那條蛇肯定以為結局會不一樣。

Fine, Jerry, I did too.

好吧，傑瑞，我也是。

Oh, now they're doing the spaghetti scene from the dog movie, Lady and the Tramp.

哦，現在他們在演狗電影《淑女與流浪漢》中的意大利麵場景。

I mean, that's always been a horror movie, from the point of view of the noodle.

我是說，從麵條的角度來看，這一直是一部恐怖電影。

But you can see that the rest of the animal kingdom is still trying to catch up to what mustelids are capable of.

但你可以看到，動物王國的其他動物仍在努力追趕鼬科動物的能力。

They can go wherever they want.

他們想去哪兒就去哪兒。

A number of mustelids followed the rodents into the forests, like these stoats who were filmed by the naturalist Robert E. Fuller, who's very good at what he does.

一些鼬科動物跟隨齧齒動物進入了森林，比如博物學家羅伯特-富勒（Robert E. Fuller）拍攝的這些鼬科動物。

May not be as many tunnels, but there's certainly burrows and nests to raid.

也許沒有那麼多隧道，但肯定有洞穴和巢穴可以搜刮。

Listen, someone had to make sure that the squirrels don't get too sassy.

聽著，總得有人確保松鼠們不會太粗魯。

Look at it licking its chops.

看它舔得多開心

And if you didn't know, squirrels are f***ing fast.

如果你不知道，松鼠跑得可真快。

But that's fine for the stoat, it'll try after anything.

但這對白鼬來說沒什麼，它什麼都會嘗試。

Check this out, straight up diving shot for the bird.

看看這個，直接跳水射鳥。

And the other one's so confused.

而另一個則很困惑。

And look at this stoat, it's actually thinking about it.

看看這隻白鼬，它真的在考慮這件事。

That's the most delayed reaction from the pheasant.

這是野雞最遲鈍的反應。

But of course, sometimes you'll have to settle for an egg.

當然，有時你也不得不選擇雞蛋。

I mean, that's one way to scramble it, isn't it?

我是說，這也是擾亂的一種方式，不是嗎？

It's not even a dad joke, just like a dad observation.

這甚至不是一個父親的笑話，就像一個父親的觀察。

I mean, s*** if you're that size, an egg will make you an omelette big enough to wear as a poncho.

我的意思是，**** 如果你有那麼大，一個雞蛋就能給你做一個足夠大的煎蛋卷，可以當披風穿。

But listen, I don't mean to make it sound like rodents are pushovers.

但聽著，我並不想讓人覺得齧齒動物是好欺負的。

A rat, for example, will put up quite a fight.

例如，老鼠就會奮力抵抗。

I mean, look at that, the rat goes right in.

我是說，你看，老鼠就這麼進去了。

And the stoat's like, finally, someone worthy.

鼪鼬想，終於有人配得上他了。

And then it gets all crouching tiger, hidden dragon from there.

然後就開始臥虎藏龍了。

And sometimes you gotta know when to give up.

有時候，你得知道什麼時候該放棄。

But I certainly don't want to give you the impression that these smaller mustelids are all piss and vinegar.

但我肯定不想讓你們覺得，這些較小的鼬科動物都是尿和醋。

I mean, they have a softer side as well.

我的意思是，他們也有柔和的一面。

Look at this one stretching out in his den.

看看這隻在窩裡伸懶腰的傢伙。

He's even got a little pillow, oh god, that's a dead mouse.

他甚至還有個小枕頭，天哪，那是隻死老鼠。

You have to admit, it's pretty metal using a corpse for neck support.

你不得不承認，用一具屍體來支撐脖子還真有金屬感。

But here's a little nuptial scene.

但這裡有一個小小的婚禮場景。

Oops, she's pissed.

哎呀，她生氣了。

Look at that side-eye, that's amazing.

看看這側目，太神奇了。

He's totally come home drunk.

他完全是醉醺醺地回家。

Probably out drinking with the rat and lost track of time.

可能是和那隻老鼠喝多了，忘了時間。

She's having none of it, and he knows it too.

她不同意，他也知道這一點。

Right there is the stoat equivalent of sleeping on the couch.

這就相當於鼪鼬睡在沙發上。

Because they can get very cuddly.

因為它們會變得非常可愛。

You think your legs get tangled up under the sheets?

你覺得你的腿在床單下會纏在一起嗎？

Try your whole torso, like a weasel do.

試試你的整個軀幹，就像黃鼠狼那樣。

I mean, foreplay can look like a Cirque du Soleil act.

我是說，前戲看起來就像太陽馬戲團的表演。

And you know what that leads to?

你知道這會導致什麼嗎？

Weasel sex, right?

黃鼠狼做愛，對嗎？

I mean, that looks very similar to killing, actually.

我的意思是，這看起來和殺人其實很相似。

But, on the bright side, it goes on for about 90 minutes.

不過，好的一面是，它持續了大約 90 分鐘。

So, there's that.

就是這樣。

Now the embryos of most mastelids don't necessarily implant right away.

現在，大多數乳齒動物的胚胎並不一定會立即著床。

They can remain in diapause until the conditions are right.

它們可以一直處於休眠狀態，直到條件成熟。

To make sure the little babies have a chance.

要確保小寶寶們有機會。

I mean, right out the gate you wouldn't want these cute little bastards to have to make it through a winter.

我的意思是，一開始你就不希望這些可愛的小傢伙們要熬過一個冬天。

And winters can be challenging for mastelids.

而冬天對於桅子魚來說是一個挑戰。

That long body means that they lose heat quickly.

長長的身體意味著它們的熱量流失很快。

And they don't hibernate, so they've had to adapt.

而且它們不會冬眠，所以它們必須適應。

Maybe the most remarkable is that some mastelids, including this leased weasel, again with a name.

也許最引人注目的是，一些鼬科動物，包括這隻黃鼠狼，又有了名字。

I mean, it is around the size of a hot dog, so I'll let it slide.

我的意思是，它只有熱狗那麼大，我就不計較了。

Anyway, they reduce the size of their brain case and their brains during the winter.

總之，它們在冬天會縮小腦殼和大腦的體積。

They've got a high metabolism and that brain takes a lot of energy, so why not?

它們的新陳代謝旺盛，大腦需要消耗大量能量，為什麼不呢？

You want to sell your car to a weasel? Do it in January.

你想把車賣給黃鼠狼？那就一月份吧。

If you don't have CuriosityStream, it's time to get it.

如果你還沒有 CuriosityStream，那麼是時候購買了。

They have an amazing collection of documentary films, shows, and series that you can't find anywhere else.

他們收藏的紀錄片、節目和系列片令人歎為觀止，是您在其他任何地方都找不到的。

Look at all of it. It's crazy.

看看這一切。太瘋狂了

I mean, there's certainly something for anything you might be interested in.

我的意思是，你可能感興趣的任何東西都有。

Science, history, technology, nature?

科學、歷史、技術、自然？

You know I like me some nature.

你知道我喜歡大自然。

And there's new content added every week, including CuriosityStream originals.

每週都有新內容加入，包括 CuriosityStream 的原創內容。

I mean, we've been talking about mastelids, squirrel hunters.

我是說，我們一直在談論桅杆類動物 松鼠獵人

But if you want the squirrel side of the story, there's an excellent documentary on them called Going Nuts.

不過，如果你想了解松鼠的故事，有一部關於它們的紀錄片非常精彩，名叫《堅果》（Going Nuts）。

See what they did there?

看到他們做了什麼嗎？

You actually get to see a squirrel give birth, which was a first for me.

你真的能看到松鼠分娩，這對我來說還是第一次。

And I've seen a lot.

我見過很多。

If that's not your thing, look at this. There's a show about rescuing bear cubs.

如果你不喜歡，那就看看這個。有一個關於拯救熊寶寶的節目。

I didn't know you could do that. I want to do that.

我不知道你還能這麼做。我也想這麼做

What do you need, some blackberries?

你需要什麼，一些黑莓嗎？

Anyway, with annual plans starting at under $4 a month, it's an amazing deal.

總之，年度計劃起價不到每月 4 美元，是一筆非常划算的交易。

You get thousands of hours of high-quality documentaries and series.

您可以收看數千小時的高質量紀錄片和系列片。

And you can watch them wherever and whenever you want.

您還可以隨時隨地觀看這些節目。

Go to CuriosityStream.com slash ZeFrank.

請訪問 CuriosityStream.com slash ZeFrank。

Use code Z-E-F-R-A-N-K to get 25% off when you sign up.

註冊時使用代碼 Z-E-F-R-A-N-K，即可享受七五折優惠。

It's a great deal for great content, and I'm happy to have them as a sponsor.

對於精彩的內容來說，這是一筆很划算的交易，我很高興他們能成為贊助商。

Where were we? Oh, right.

我們說到哪兒了？哦，對了

Now, these forest-dwelling mastelids can get quite a bit bigger.

現在，這些生活在森林中的桅杆類動物可以長得很大。

I mean, those pine martins there aren't that much smaller than the fox.

我是說，那些松貂並不比狐狸小多少。

But they're still quite comfortable up in the trees.

不過，它們在樹上還是挺舒服的。

Look at this one doing a little inchworm down.

看，這隻小蟲子正在往下鑽。

And then they get up to this.

然後他們就這樣了。

I'll tell you right now, that's a fool's errand.

我現在就告訴你，這是痴人說夢。

You don't let a squirrel goad you into a circle chase.

你不能讓松鼠引誘你繞圈追逐。

I mean, I get it, you can't give up once you start because you're so pissed off.

我的意思是，我明白，你一旦開始就不能放棄，因為你太生氣了。

And now there's people filming it, for God's sakes.

現在還有人在拍攝，看在上帝的份上。

And the only way to get to a squirrel is make fun of its tail.

而接近松鼠的唯一方法就是取笑它的尾巴。

Tell them they used product to get that poof.

告訴他們，他們使用了產品，才有了 "噗噗 "聲。

They'll stop dead in their tracks, let you touch it.

他們會停下腳步，讓你摸摸它。

It's all they've got.

這就是他們的一切。

A martin may be big enough to take on a cat, but mastelids get bigger still.

一隻貂可能大到足以對付一隻貓，但桅子魚卻更大。

The wolverine, for example, went full bear.

例如，狼獾就完全變成了熊。

With an incredible stocky build and the ability to fart bees.

他身材魁梧，還能放蜜蜂屁。

God damn it, Jerry, you didn't do research, did you?

該死的，傑瑞，你沒做調查，是嗎？

And I don't want to say it again, nothing farts bees.

我不想再說一遍，沒有什麼能讓蜜蜂放屁。

Do you have anything about the wolverine?

你有關於狼獾的資料嗎？

It looks kind of like a bear, I just said that.

它看起來有點像熊，我剛說過了。

Forget it, just move on to badgers.

算了，換獾吧。

In addition to the honeyed variety, there's a number of flavors of badger out there.

除了蜂蜜味的獾之外，還有許多其他口味的獾。

Some of them more related than others.

其中有些人的關係比其他人更密切。

They're all into eyeliner, but the European badger took it a bit far, in my opinion.

他們都喜歡畫眼線，但在我看來，歐洲獾畫得有點過了。

All badgers have the ability to fart.

所有的獾都有放屁的能力。

Jerry, you deleted the word bees just now, didn't you?

傑裡，你剛才把蜜蜂這個詞刪掉了，是嗎？

Whatever, at least this way it's true.

不管怎樣，至少這樣是真的。

Anyway, a long time ago, the badger said,

總之，很久以前，獾說過

I'm tired of going into someone else's hole.

我厭倦了鑽別人的空子。

I don't want someone else's hole, I want my own hole.

我不要別人的洞，我要我自己的洞。

And I want to wear sweatpants all the time.

我還想一直穿運動褲。

So they changed their body into a pair of sweatpants.

於是，他們把自己的身體換成了一條運動褲。

And they learned how to dig with their incredibly long claws.

它們還學會了如何用長得驚人的爪子挖掘。

Their claws are so long that the badger wonders why a certain character is named after a wolverine and not a badger.

它們的爪子如此之長，以至於獾不明白為什麼某個角色的名字是以狼獾而不是獾命名的。

Look at him right there, it's bullshit.

看看他，簡直是胡說八道。

Anyway, unlike other mustelids, badgers do dig their own holes.

總之，與其他鼬科動物不同，獾會自己挖洞。

And they're nice big holes, too.

這些洞也很大。

Don't have to squat down all the time.

不必一直蹲下。

And speaking of squatting, they don't poop in there.

說到蹲坑，它們可不會在裡面大便。

They go outside to poop.

它們到外面大便。

Civilized, right?

文明，對嗎？

And I'll tell you, if you need help burying a body, call a badger.

我告訴你，如果你需要幫忙埋屍體，就找獾吧。

Look at this one.

看看這個。

Freezer's probably full, so it decides to bury an entire cow.

冰箱可能已經滿了，所以它決定把整頭牛埋起來。

Save it for dry age.

留待乾涸的歲月吧。

Pay extra for that.

為此額外付費。

Until it rains.

直到下雨

Look how happy it is with itself.

看看它自己多開心。

Now, a number of mustelids are quite comfortable in the water and have developed a taste for sushi fish, like this mink here.

現在，有許多鼬科動物在水中非常自如，並對壽司魚情有獨鍾，比如這隻水貂。

But one family of mustelids are particularly adapted to living in and around the water, the otters.

但有一種鼬科動物特別適合在水中和水邊生活，那就是水獺。

There's all sorts of them.

各種各樣的都有。

Here you can see some smooth-coated otter babies, which are, well, they're being ridiculously adorable, all right?

在這裡，你可以看到一些光滑毛皮的水獺寶寶，它們可愛得令人髮指，對嗎？

I don't have anything to say.

我無話可說。

I don't even know what they're doing.

我甚至不知道他們在做什麼。

I just want to look at them.

我只想看看它們。

Not everything has a point.

並非所有事情都有意義。

Now, in case you think the otters have gone soft, they haven't.

現在，如果你認為水獺變軟了，它們並沒有。

The giant otter, for example, is quite the predator and has a posse.

例如，巨型水獺是一種相當凶猛的捕食者，而且有一支隊伍。

So if some nosy jaguar happens to be loitering on their turf, they're plenty capable to give it the what for.

所以，如果有隻愛管閒事的美洲虎碰巧在它們的地盤上閒逛，它們有足夠的能力給它點顏色看看。

Look at that.

看看這個。

And after they chase it away, they hurl insults at it.

在趕走它之後，他們又對它進行辱罵。

The bodies of otters are streamlined with shortened limbs and webbed feet, which allow them to undulate efficiently through the water as they swim.

水獺的身體呈流線型，四肢縮短，腳上有蹼，這使它們在水中游泳時能有效地起伏。

Those long bodies lose heat in the water, and unlike other aquatic mammals, which pack on an insulating layer of blubber, otters got very, very hairy.

水獺長長的身體會在水中散失熱量，與其他水生哺乳動物不同的是，水獺身上有一層隔熱的脂肪，而水獺身上的毛非常非常多。

Sea otters have the densest coat of fur of any animal.

海獺的皮毛是所有動物中最濃密的。

You'd go through your whole stash trying to wax the nethers of a sea otter.

為了給海獺的臀部打蠟，你會花光所有的積蓄。

An outer layer of hair acts as a water barrier, while the layer beneath holds on to trapped air.

頭髮的外層起著隔水作用，而下面的一層則能阻隔空氣。

The air insulates sea otters but also makes them buoyant, so they can float around and groom themselves or have a snack, which people find cute.

空氣可以為海獺隔熱，還能使它們具有浮力，是以它們可以漂浮起來梳理自己或吃點零食，這讓人們覺得很可愛。

Even though if I do the same thing but on a couch, naked with a bag of chips propped up on my tum-tums, for some reason I look pathetic.

儘管如果我在沙發上做同樣的事情，光著身子，肚子上還墊著一袋薯片，不知為什麼，我看起來很可憐。

It's a double standard and it's bulls**t.

這是雙重標準，是胡說八道。

Anyway, they can open clams with rocks.

總之，他們可以用石頭打開蛤蜊。

Apparently you get an award for that, too.