That's why I've come to Koreatown, to the Wii Spa, an authentic Korean spa.

這就是我來到韓國城的原因，來到 Wii 水療中心，一家正宗的韓國水療中心。

I brought with me Steven Yeun, international star.

我帶來了國際巨星史蒂文-楊。

Come on in here.

進來吧

Don't look so scared, you okay?

別那麼害怕，你還好嗎？

Yeah, I'm good.

我沒事

You all right?

你沒事吧？

Yeah, this is gonna...

是啊，這會...

You look worried.

你看起來很擔心。

Yeah, I've only been here one time.

是啊，我只來過這裡一次。

You battle zombies for a living.

你以與殭屍作戰為生。

You fight the undead, yet you seem worried about coming to a spa.

你與亡靈作戰，卻似乎擔心來做水療。

You walk around here naked?

你光著身子在這裡走來走去？

No one told me that was part of this room.

沒人告訴我這是這個房間的一部分。

Oh, we're supposed to be naked.

哦，我們應該是裸體的。

I've never been naked.

我從沒裸體過

So what did you just give me right here?

你剛才給了我什麼？

You just gave me a...

你剛剛給了我一個...

So that's a large, that's your t-shirt for when you go to the co-ed floor.

所以，這是大號的，這是你去男女共用樓層時穿的 T 恤。

And here are your shorts.

這是你的短褲

Oh, there's a co-ed area?

哦，還有男女混合區？

Yes.

是的。

If there are going to be other women around, what are the rules?

如果周圍有其他女人，規則是什麼？

May we speak to them?

我們能和他們談談嗎？

You can mingle, whatever you want.

你可以隨意交際。

There's no sexual activity, or you will be banned for life.

不能有性行為，否則終身禁入。

Banned for how long?

禁賽多久？

Life.

生活

Oh, life ban.

哦，生活禁令。

Is that one of the policies?

這是政策之一嗎？

You have 75,000 rules here in nine different languages, nowhere, does it say anywhere, Steven?

你這裡有九種不同語言的七萬五千條規則，沒有一處寫著 "任何地方"，史蒂文？

This doesn't say anything about sexual activity.

這並沒有提到性活動。

So I guess you should put that in there then.

所以我想你應該把它寫進去。

Yeah, guess what?

你猜怎麼著？

It's gonna take you 24 hours to get that new leaflet made.

你得花24小時來製作新的傳單

In the meantime...

同時...

Waka-cha-ka-ka, ka-ka-ka-ka.

哇咔咔，咔咔咔。

Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

嘣，嘣，嘣，嘣，嘣。

Hello?

喂？

We read Korean.

我們讀韓語。

What does this say?

這說明了什麼？

It says fire, I don't know what's in English.

上面寫著火，我不知道英文是什麼。

This is Jonathan, Jonathan works here at the Wii Sponsor, correct?

這是喬納森，喬納森在Wii贊助商這裡工作，對嗎？

Yes, I do.

是的，我知道。

Put your clothes in your locker.

把衣服放進儲物櫃

All the clothes.

所有的衣服

All the clothes.

所有的衣服

Can I wear jeans down here?

我能在下面穿牛仔褲嗎？

No, no jeans, because no one's wearing any jeans in there, so if you're the only one, you're gonna be looking awkward.

不，不能穿牛仔褲，因為裡面沒人穿牛仔褲，所以如果只有你一個人，你會顯得很尷尬。

I'll be in jeans, and they'll have their dicks hanging out, so I think I'll look normal.

我會穿牛仔褲，他們會把老二露在外面，所以我覺得我會看起來很正常。

Right?

對不對？

Ah, that's hot.

啊，好熱。

Mm, mm, super hot.

嗯，嗯，超級性感

Ah.

啊。

Uh-oh.

啊哦

Oh.

哦。

Oh.

哦。

Hello?

喂？

You're naked.

你沒穿衣服

Naked.

赤身裸體

Stephen and I are now in a sauna with two nude men we have never met.

斯蒂芬和我現在正和兩個素未謀面的裸體男人在三溫暖室裡。

Hello?

喂？

Hello?

喂？

I see you.

我看到你了

You seem thrilled.

你看起來很激動。

Try and calm down.

試著冷靜下來。

Hello?

喂？

Just calm.

冷靜。

Stay cool.

保持冷靜

Okay, all right.

好吧

Wow.

哇

What a new culture you have here.

你們這裡的文化真是煥然一新。

We're normally friendly.

我們通常都很友好。

Oh, hello.

哦，你好

Hello, how are you?

喂，你好嗎？

Good.

很好。

Have a seat, please.

請坐

Penis.

陰莖

Ask me if he can tell that I work out.

問我他能不能看出我在健身。

Oh, yeah.

哦，是的

Why are you not looking at me?

你為什麼不看著我？

Look at me.

看著我

Look at me.

看著我

Look at me.

看著我

Look at me.

看著我

Look at me.

看著我

Why do you not look at me?

你為什麼不看著我？

What's he looking at?

他在看什麼？

Uh, look at me.

看著我

Look at me.

看著我

Look at me.

看著我

Look at him?

看看他？

No.

不

What?

什麼？

No, I want to rest.

不，我想休息。

Feel.

感覺

Feel.

感覺

No, no, no, no, no, no.

不，不，不，不，不，不，不。

Just, just, just.

只是，只是，只是。

You think it's funny when one naked man squeezes the breast of another.

當一個裸體男人捏另一個裸體男人的乳房時，你覺得這很有趣。

You thought that was funny.

你覺得這很有趣

Funny.

真有趣

It is funny.

這很有趣。

Okay, it is funny.

好吧，這很有趣。

Yes, well.

是的，很好。

You like to watch.

你喜歡看

Yeah, I got to watch.

是啊，我得看。

You like to watch.

你喜歡看

Uh-huh.

嗯哼

One naked man squeeze, but you like to watch what he did.

一個裸體男人擠壓，但你喜歡看他做什麼。

Here, let's do this for him again.

來，我們再為他做一次。

For him again, right there.

又是他，就在那裡。

You like this?

你喜歡這樣嗎？

A little bit like this.

有點像這樣

A little bit like this?

有點像這樣？

Come on.

來吧

Come on.

來吧

Okay, I'm going to.

好吧，我要去。

I'm becoming aroused now.

我現在開始興奮起來了。

What are we doing now?

我們現在在做什麼？

Now you're going to go into the coat tub.

現在你要進入大衣浴缸。

It's about 61 degrees.

大約 61 度。

No, no, no, no!

不，不，不，不

Oh my God!

我的天啊

Oh!

哦！

No!

不

No!

不

Oh!

哦！

Oh!

哦！

Oh!

哦！

Oh!

哦！

Oh!

哦！

Oh!

哦！

Oh!

哦！

Oh!

哦！

Oh!

哦！

Oh!

哦！

Oh!

哦！

Oh!

哦！

Oh!

哦！

Oh!

哦！

Oh!

哦！

Oh!

哦！

Oh!

哦！

Oh!

哦！

Oh!

哦！

Oh!

哦！

Oh!

哦！

It's nice now, just hold me.

現在好了，抱著我就好。

Back, back, back.

後退，後退，後退

Put it down.

放下來

He's got my side.

他站在我這邊

He's got my side.

他站在我這邊

Jonathan, tell us what happens now?

喬納森，告訴我們現在會發生什麼？

Um, so you guys are going to get my scrub.

嗯，所以你們會得到我的擦洗。

My scrub?

我的擦洗？

This is a full body scrub.

這是一款全身磨砂膏。

Yes.

是的。

This is a disturbing set-up, is this where they do dolphin autopses?

這是個令人不安的場景，他們是在這裡進行海豚自爆嗎？

Is this going to hurt?

這會疼嗎？

Yeah, Steven?

什麼事 史蒂芬

Does this hurt?

疼嗎？

Does this hurt?

疼嗎？

You're sadist.

你是個虐待狂

You like to hurt people.

你喜歡傷害別人

You like to cause pain.

你喜歡製造痛苦

It gives you pleasure.

它能給你帶來愉悅。

Yes.

是的。

Mr. Lee.

李先生。

Mr. Lee.

李先生。

Mr. Lee.

李先生。

Mr. Lee, thank you.

李先生，謝謝你。

Whoa!

哇哦

Okay, that's hot.

好吧，真性感

That's hot.

真性感

No, those are freckles.

不，那是雀斑。

Those stay on.

這些保持不變。

Those aren't supposed to come off.

那些不應該掉下來的。

Steven, it's not funny.

史蒂芬，這不好笑。

It really hurts.

真的很疼。

It's okay.

沒關係。

It sucks.

糟透了。

Oh!

哦！

Oh!

哦！

Mother!

母親

Oh!

哦！

What did Mrs. Lee do to you last night?

李太太昨晚對你做了什麼？

Ow!

噢

You can see the skin.

你可以看到皮膚。

Ow!

噢

That's skin that's been on me since Jimmy Carter was president.

自從吉米-卡特擔任總統以來，我身上就一直有這種皮膚。

You can't hurt me now, Mr. Lee.

你現在傷害不了我了，李先生。

I've lost all feeling.

我失去了所有感覺。

Ow!

噢

Shut the f*** up, Steven.

閉嘴 史蒂芬

I'll tell you anything.

我什麼都告訴你

Ow!

噢

Ow!

噢

Ow!

噢

Our battalion is in the mountains on the north side.

我們營在北面的山上。

They'll never see you coming, Mr. Lee.

他們不會看到你來的，李先生。

What are you doing?

你在幹什麼？

Don't bend.

不要彎曲。

No!

不

Ow!

噢

Ow!

噢

Ow!

噢

You took the skin off my balls.

你把我蛋蛋的皮都扒下來了

Oh, my goodness.

我的天啊

Ow!

噢

That's it, Lee.

就是這樣，李。

Ow!

噢

Ow!

噢

That's it, Mr. Lee.

就這樣，李先生。

Harder, Mr. Lee.

用力，李先生。

Harder.

再用力點

What happens next?

接下來會發生什麼？

We're heading over to the jjimjilbang.

我們要去 "吉吉邦"。

What is jjimjilbang?

什麼是 jjimjilbang？

Jjimjilbang means saunas.

Jjimjilbang 的意思是三溫暖。

Saunas.

三溫暖

Okay.

好的

Let's go.

我們走吧

Jjimjilbang.

Jjimjilbang.

Jjimjilbang.

Jjimjilbang.

213 degrees.

213 度。

People carry pizzas in here, uncooked.

人們把披薩帶進來，還沒煮熟。

And they come out, they have a freshly cooked pizza, and then they're dead.

他們出來，吃上剛出鍋的披薩，然後就死了。

I'm going in.

我要進去了

Okay.

好的

I might stay in for a long time.

我可能會在裡面待很久。

Awesome.

棒極了

They took my skin, and now I want to sleep forever.

他們奪走了我的皮膚，現在我想永遠睡下去。

This one, this one actually is really good.

這個，這個其實真的很不錯。

I think when you're in a room filled with Cocoa Puffs.

我覺得當你在一個滿是可可泡芙的房間裡時

Hello.

你好

Hello.

你好

Are you okay?

你還好嗎？

Yeah.

是啊

Are you feeling good?

你感覺好嗎？

Yeah.

是啊

Do you know who Conan is?

你知道柯南是誰嗎？

No idea.

不知道。

No idea who I am?

不知道我是誰？

Have you ever seen a show called Walking Dead?

你看過《行屍走肉》這部劇嗎？

No.

不

What's your favorite TV show?

您最喜歡的電視節目是什麼？

What TV show do you like?

你喜歡什麼電視節目？

Two and a Half Men.

好漢兩個半

Two and a Half Men?

好漢兩個半》？

Everybody loves Raymond.

人人都愛雷蒙德

Everybody loves Raymond.

人人都愛雷蒙德

Okay, so you don't know who I am.

好吧，你不知道我是誰。

You don't know who Steven is.

你不知道史蒂文是誰。

Everyone loves Raymond.

每個人都愛雷蒙德。

Hasn't been on the air.

尚未播出。

Do you like it?

喜歡嗎？

Does it make you laugh?

它能讓你發笑嗎？

It's okay.

沒關係。

I got tired of it.

我已經厭倦了。

Same joke over and over again.

同樣的笑話反反覆覆。

Like, oh, what am I going to do?

比如，哦，我該怎麼辦？

Oh, my wife's mad at me.

哦，我老婆在生我的氣。

Oh, my brother's taller than me.

哦，我弟弟比我高。

Oh, what am I going to do?

哦，我該怎麼辦？

What am I going to do?

我該怎麼辦？

Right?

對不對？

You was like this.

你是這樣的

That is the best Ray Romano impression I've ever seen.

這是我見過的雷-羅馬諾模仿得最好的一次。

May I move closer to you, or would you rather I did not?

我可以靠近你嗎，還是你希望我不要靠近你？

You better not.

最好不要

I got nervous.

我很緊張

I got nervous.

我很緊張

You got nervous?

你緊張嗎？

Yeah.

是啊

Oh, don't trust yourself, eh?

哦，不相信自己，是嗎？

I don't trust myself.

我不相信自己。

I don't trust you.

我不相信你

Ew, ew.

呃，呃

Ew.

Ew.

Well, that was our day at the Wii Spa in Koreatown.

這就是我們在韓國城 Wii 水療中心的一天。

Thanks for joining me.

感謝您的參與。

This was fun.

這很有趣。

No.

不

No, it was not fun.

不，這並不好玩。

It was.

就是這樣。

It was awful.

太可怕了

It was painful.

這是痛苦的。

And for me, I think life-shortening.

對我來說，我認為這會縮短生命。

My skin is really smooth.

我的皮膚真的很光滑。

I will be dead within 48 hours.

我將在 48 小時內死去。

But thank you for showing me this.

不過，還是要謝謝你給我看這個。