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  • Some of you already know because you've been to my shows in the past, my poison of choice is tequila.

    你們中的一些人已經知道,因為你們過去曾看過我的表演,我的毒藥是龍舌蘭酒。

  • Certain alcohol I no longer mess with anymore, like I no longer mess with Jaeger.

    某些酒我不再沾了,就像我不再喝野格一樣。

  • See, first of all, any alcohol that will make you say its name is not safe.

    首先,任何能讓你說出它名字的酒都不安全。

  • And that's the only alcohol that will make you do that.

    只有酒精才能讓你這麼做。

  • That's the only one you hear people, Jaeger!

    這是你唯一聽到的聲音,野格!

  • You don't hear anyone else.

    你聽不到其他人的聲音。

  • You don't hear Mexicans.

    你聽不到墨西哥人的聲音。

  • You don't hear black people.

    你聽不到黑人的聲音。

  • Hennessy player.

    軒尼詩,朋友

  • You don't hear Japanese.

    你聽不到日語。

  • Jaeger is scary for a few reasons.

    野格之所以可怕,有幾個原因。

  • One, I'm type two diabetic.

    第一,我是二型糖尿病患者。

  • I shouldn't even be drinking, but Jaeger has twice as much sugar in it.

    我甚至不應該喝酒,但野格有兩倍的糖分。

  • Second thing is the consistency.

    其次是黏稠度。

  • It's very sticky.

    非常粘。

  • It's like cough syrup.

    就像止咳糖漿一樣。

  • So if you drink too much of it, it holds on longer than anything else.

    是以,如果你喝得太多,它就會比任何東西都更持久。

  • And it's nasty.

    而且很噁心。

  • When you drink it, you're like, it's horrible.

    當你喝下它時,你會覺得,它太可怕了。

  • If you drink too much of it, it holds on longer than anything else.

    如果你喝得太多,它就會比任何東西都更持久。

  • You know what I'm saying?

    你知道我在說什麼嗎?

  • Like if you have one too many beers, you know what happens?

    就像如果你喝多了啤酒,你知道會發生什麼嗎?

  • You get the, and then you return it to the rightful owner.

    你拿到它,然後把它物歸原主。

  • Jaeger makes you feel like you got to bring it back, but you can't.

    野格讓你覺得你必須把它帶回來,但你做不到。

  • All it does is make you dramatic for 45 minutes until it lets go.

    它只會讓你在 45 分鐘內戲劇化,直到它放手。

  • You've seen someone like that.

    你見過這樣的人

  • Hey, you okay?

    嘿,你還好嗎?

  • I'm fine.

    我沒事

  • They can't throw up.

    他們吐不出來。

  • All they're doing is six minute abs.

    他們做的只是六分鐘腹肌。

  • People look at you the next day.

    第二天人們會看著你。

  • Are you into fitness?

    你喜歡健身嗎?

  • No, I'm a drunk.

    不,我是個酒鬼

  • Jaeger is scary.

    野格很可怕

  • Another alcohol I refuse to mess with anymore is wine.

    另一種我拒絕再沾的酒是葡萄酒。

  • Look at the people over there.

    看看那邊的人們。

  • We're from Schaumburg.

    我們來自沙姆堡。

  • For those of you that don't know, Schaumburg is the kind of the Beverly hills of the area.

    對於那些不知道的人來說,沙姆堡就像是該地區的貝弗利山。

  • So with wine is very simple.

    所以,葡萄酒很簡單。

  • I don't like the fact that wine is socially accepted.

    我不喜歡酒被社會所接受的事實。

  • And what I mean by that is that if you see someone with a bottle of wine, if you see a guy crossing the street with a bottle of wine, immediately he's judged, but in a positive way, because wine is always associated with something high class, something positive, something progressive, an anniversary, a celebration of promotion.

    我的意思是說,如果你看到有人拿著一瓶酒,如果你看到一個人拿著一瓶酒過馬路,他馬上就會受到評判,但這是一種積極的評判,因為酒總是與高級的東西、積極的東西、進步的東西、週年紀念、升職慶祝聯繫在一起。

  • So you try to figure it out.

    所以你就想辦法解決。

  • Hey, what do you think is going on over there?

    嘿,你覺得那邊發生了什麼?

  • Graduation promotion.

    促進畢業。

  • It's got to be good.

    一定要好。

  • Hey, good for you, buddy.

    嘿,好樣的,夥計。

  • Women see a man with a bottle of wine, holding a couple of glasses and immediately lucky bitch.

    女人看到一個男人拿著一瓶酒,端著幾個杯子,馬上就會覺得他是個幸運的婊子。

  • It's still alcohol.

    還是酒精。

  • It will still mess you up.

    它還是會把你弄得一團糟。

  • The main reason why I don't like wine is because you cannot accurately measure wine.

    我不喜歡葡萄酒的主要原因是,你無法準確測量葡萄酒。

  • You can measure real enough times, what you can handle and what you can't handle because people who drink a lot love to brag about their drinking abilities.

    你可以測量足夠多的真實次數,你能承受什麼,你不能承受什麼,因為經常喝酒的人喜歡吹噓自己的酒量。

  • They have their drinking number, right?

    他們有喝酒的號碼,對吧?

  • They have their drinking number.

    他們有自己的酒水號碼。

  • You'll hear them.

    你會聽到的

  • Yeah. 11 shots of don't Julio.

    是啊,11杯 "不要胡里奧

  • Woo.

    Woo.

  • Yeah.

    是啊

  • They had their drinking number.

    他們有喝酒的號碼。

  • Even women after four shots of Cuervo.

    即使是喝了四杯奎爾沃酒的女人也不例外。

  • I am so good.

    我太厲害了

  • Four shots is my sweet spot.

    四槍是我的最佳選擇。

  • What happens if you do five?

    如果你做了五次會怎麼樣?

  • I'll wake up in an alley.

    我會在小巷裡醒來

  • What happens if you do six?

    如果你做了六次會怎麼樣?

  • That's how I met Tyrone.

    我就是這樣認識泰隆的。

  • See, with wine, you cannot accurately measure how much you're drinking unless you're basing it on the bottle.

    你看,對於葡萄酒來說,除非根據酒瓶來計算,否則你無法準確衡量自己喝了多少。

  • And if you're basing it on the bottle, then that's a whole different issue.

    如果你以瓶子為依據,那就是完全不同的問題了。

  • With wine, the glasses are always different sizes.

    喝葡萄酒時,酒杯總是大小不一。

  • Sometimes they're big glasses.

    有時是大眼鏡。

  • Sometimes they're small glasses.

    有時是小眼鏡。

  • And a lot of times you need to rely on someone to pour it for you.

    很多時候,你需要依靠別人來幫你倒酒。

  • Sometimes they know what they're doing.

    有時他們知道自己在做什麼。

  • Sometimes they don't.

    有時不會。

  • Sometimes they fill it up too high, which is not the proper amount.

    有時他們裝得太高,這是不合適的。

  • Sometimes they get it just right, which is a little bit less than half of the glass.

    有時,他們會恰到好處,也就是不到杯子的一半。

  • Sometimes you get that greedy bastard from Olive Garden.

    有時你會遇到橄欖園那個貪婪的混蛋。

  • You know what I'm talking about?

    你知道我在說什麼嗎?

  • Where you get that little sample and then you have to hold it up in direct sunlight and do this.

    你拿到小樣本後,必須把它放在陽光直射的地方,然後做這個動作。

  • Then you drink it.

    然後你就喝了它。

  • You're like, that's pretty good.

    你會覺得,這很不錯。

  • I got a coupon for that.

    我有一張優惠券。

  • Here you go.

    給你

  • And you never see wine drinkers drinking with real drinkers in dive bars.

    在潛水酒吧裡,你永遠看不到酒鬼和真正的酒鬼一起喝酒。

  • You might see them at a social gathering like this one or some corporate function, but never at a little hole in the wall.

    你可能會在像這樣的社交聚會或一些公司活動中看到他們,但絕不會在牆上的一個小洞裡看到他們。

  • You'll never see.

    你永遠不會看到

  • Jaeger!

    傑格

  • Tequila way!

    龍舌蘭酒

  • And in the middle.

    中間是

  • Mellow, I say.

    我說 "圓潤"。

  • Oh, this is a fantastic establishment.

    哦,這真是個好地方。

  • I truly enjoy the decor here.

    我非常喜歡這裡的裝飾。

  • This is amazing.

    太神奇了

  • This is fantastic.

    這真是太棒了。

Some of you already know because you've been to my shows in the past, my poison of choice is tequila.

你們中的一些人已經知道,因為你們過去曾看過我的表演,我的毒藥是龍舌蘭酒。

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