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Lois, I need $28,000.
露意絲,我需要兩萬八千元
For what?
為了什麼?
I've decided I want to open a sushi restaurant.
我決定要開一家壽司店。
What do you know about sushi?
你對壽司瞭解多少?
I don't care about the sushi.
我不在乎壽司。
I just want to yell at customers when they walk in the door.
我只想在顧客進門時對他們大喊大叫。
Irasshaimase!
伊拉斯海馬斯
Hajimemashite!
Hajimemashite!
Here comes the black guy!
黑人來了
Peter, you're not getting money for that or anything else.
彼得,你不能因為這個或別的什麼而得到錢。
We're running seriously low on cash right now.
我們現在現金嚴重不足。
Like it or not, we're gonna have to start living on a strict budget for a while.
不管你願不願意,我們都得開始嚴格控制預算了。
Our top story tonight, the Rhode Island State Lottery has climbed to a record $150 million jackpot.
今晚的頭條新聞是羅德島州立彩票創下了 1.5 億美元的大獎紀錄。
That's right, Tom.
沒錯,湯姆。
Powerball fever has officially gripped Quahog.
強力球熱潮已正式席捲誇霍格。
There you go, Lois. That's the answer right there.
這就對了,露意絲這就是答案
We'll just win the lottery.
我們會中彩票的
In fact, I'm gonna go buy my winning ticket right now.
事實上,我現在就要去買我的中獎彩票。
Everyone, I got big news.
各位,我有個大消息
We are gonna be rich.
我們會發財的
Oh, my God, Peter.
天啊,彼得
There are thousands of lottery tickets here.
這裡有成千上萬張彩票。
Where did you get the money for all these?
你哪來的錢買這些東西?
Simple. I took out a second mortgage on a house.
很簡單。我辦理了房屋二次抵押貸款。
What?
什麼?
Peter, this is idiotic.
彼得,這太愚蠢了。
Your odds of winning are like 100 million to one.
你中獎的機率是一億比一。
Don't you know the lottery is just a tax on stupid people?
難道你不知道彩票只是向愚蠢的人徵稅嗎?
Peter, Brian's right.
彼得,布萊恩說得對。
How can you be so irresponsible?
你怎麼能這麼不負責任?
You take these tickets back right now.
你現在就把票收回去
No way, Lois. We're gonna win.
不行,露意絲我們會贏的
Okay, this is it, you guys.
好了,就這樣了,夥計們
They're gonna announce the winning lottery numbers.
他們要公佈彩票中獎號碼了
Time for the Griffin family to meet its destiny.
格里芬家族是時候迎接自己的命運了。
When we lose, I'm getting a divorce.
如果我們輸了,我就離婚。
Understood.
明白。
E!
E!
That's a three, honey. Turn it around.
這是一個三,親愛的。轉過來
This!
這!
Thirty-one.
31.
Spooky ghost mouth!
詭異的鬼嘴
That's a zero.
這是一個零。
Snowman!
雪人
Eight.
8.
Two sailboats!
兩艘帆船
Forty-four.
44.
Seventeen!
17!
No, that's... Oh, yes, that is seventeen.
不,那是...哦,對,是17歲
She's good at seventeen.
她十七歲就很厲害了
Well, folks, those are our winning numbers.
各位,這就是我們的中獎號碼。
All right, kids, we got 200,000 lottery tickets.
好了,孩子們,我們有20萬張彩票。
We gotta check.
我們得檢查一下
Oh, my God. We won!
我的天啊我們贏了
What?
什麼?
Let me see that.
讓我看看
Yes! We won the lottery!
是的我們中獎了
This is awesome.
這太棒了。
Now that we're rich, our lives are gonna be so much better.
現在我們有錢了,生活會好很多。
You sure it was such a good idea to cash that lottery check?
你確定兌現彩票支票是個好主意嗎?
It seems foolish to have all this money lying around.
把這些錢到處亂放似乎很愚蠢。
Right, so how are we gonna spend our winnings?
好吧,那我們要怎麼花掉贏來的錢呢?
We're not gonna go crazy spending our winnings, and we're not gonna let this money change us.
我們不會瘋狂揮霍獎金,也不會讓這些錢改變我們。
What are you talking about?
你在說什麼?
This money is our ticket to the good life.
這筆錢是我們通往美好生活的門票。
Starting now.
從現在開始
I just bought a giant room full of gold coins, and I'm gonna dive into it like Scrooge McDuck.
我剛買了一個裝滿金幣的大房間,我要像史古治-麥克達克(Scrooge McDuck)一樣一頭扎進去。
Aah!
啊
It's not a liquid!
它不是液體!
It's a great many pieces of solid matter that form a hard, floor-like surface!
它是由許多固體物質組成的堅硬、類似地板的表面!
Aah!
啊
Peter, what are you doing here?
彼得,你在這裡做什麼?
Shouldn't you be at work?
你不是應該在工作嗎?
I quit my job, Lois.
我辭職了,露意絲
You what?
你說什麼?
Yeah, we're rich now. I don't need to be working.
是啊,我們現在有錢了我不需要工作了
Hey, I got one, Peter.
嘿,我有一個,彼得。
What would you rather do, tread water where you are right now, or increase your net worth fivefold within the next 18 months?
你願意做什麼,是在現在的基礎上繼續努力,還是在未來 18 個月內將淨資產增加 5 倍?
Huh?
啊?
What are you talking about?
你在說什麼?
Well, my friend Marty is a whiz with chemistry, and he says he's come up with a new penis enlargement pill, and if we can bankroll him $100,000 in startup money, he'll triple our investment in the year.
我的朋友馬蒂是個化學奇才,他說他發明了一種新的陰莖增大藥丸,如果我們能資助他 10 萬美元的啟動資金,他就能在一年內把我們的投資翻三倍。
Well, uh, gee, I-I don't, uh...
好吧,呃,哎呀,我,我不,呃...
Peter, I've taken the liberty of mocking up some sales projections.
彼得,我冒昧地模擬了一些銷售預測。
Wow, that's pretty good.
哇,真不錯。
And this would be our net profits.
這就是我們的淨利潤。
Yeah, if you're gonna open your mouth with the missus, stick to kisses, eh?
是啊,如果你要對夫人開口,那就親親吧,嗯?
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
哈哈哈哈
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
哈哈哈哈
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
哈哈哈哈
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
哈哈哈哈
What neat humor!
真幽默!
What neat humor!
真幽默!
Yeah, so what do you say, Peter?
是啊,你怎麼說,彼得?
Can you help us out?
你能幫幫我們嗎?
Of course I can, you dope.
我當然能,你個笨蛋。
We're pals, right?
我們是朋友,對吧?
There you go.
這就對了。
Yeah, and I gotta work.
是啊,我還得工作
I'm flying a leg to Minneapolis tonight.
我今晚要飛去明尼阿波利斯。
Oh.
哦。
Yeah, I-I understand.
我明白
You got other things to do.
你還有其他事情要做
I-I just wrote you guys a couple of checks.
我剛給你們開了幾張支票。
But no, you-you do your things.
但是不,你做你的事。
What?
什麼?
No, I mean, I'm just saying.
不,我的意思是,我只是說。
I-I thought friends hang out, do things with each other.
我以為朋友們會一起出去玩,一起做些事情。
You know, especially when one friend gives the other friends a whole bunch of money.
你知道,尤其是當一個朋友給另一個朋友一大筆錢的時候。
Oh, well, I guess I could stick around.
哦,好吧,我想我可以留下來。
Yeah.
是啊
That's more like it.
這還差不多。
From now on, we're all gonna do whatever I want to do, because I'm the one with the dough.
從現在起,我想做什麼我們就做什麼,因為我才是拿著錢的人。
Okay, quagmire, I want you to take the first bite out of this fudge pop, because that first bite is the one that really hurts.
好了,泥潭,我要你咬下這軟糖的第一口 因為第一口才是真正的痛點
Well, okay.
好吧
Mm!
嗯 Mm!
Ah!
啊!
Mm!
嗯 Mm!
Ah!
啊!
Ow!
噢
Ow!
噢
Now, smear what's left of it on your face and look at me with your mouth open.
現在,把剩下的塗在臉上,然後張開嘴看著我。
Look at yourself, you filthy whore.
看看你自己,骯髒的婊子。
I don't even want this now.
我現在都不想要這個了。
Look, you aren't gonna shoot us in the eye, are you, Peter?
聽著,你不會對著我們的眼睛開槍吧,彼得?
Oh, no, Joe.
哦,不,喬
I wouldn't try to shoot you in the eye.
我不會朝你的眼睛開槍。
It's also not...
這也不是...
Ah!
啊!
Peter, it was really close to my eye!
彼得,它離我的眼睛很近!
Relax, Joe.
放鬆 喬
I'm nowhere near your eye.
我離你的眼睛太遠了
Hey, Joe, open your eye.
喬,睜開眼睛
Ah!
啊!
Gotcha.
抓到你了
You're a jerk.
你是個混蛋
Jerk?
混蛋?
What kind of a way is that to talk to your friend who gives you money?
你怎麼能這樣跟給你錢的朋友說話呢?
Go to hell, Peter.
去死吧,彼得
We don't need your money, and we don't need friends like you.
我們不需要你的錢,也不需要你這樣的朋友。
Fine, go on. I don't care.
好吧,去吧我不在乎
I don't need you.
我不需要你
I got money.
我有錢
You know, Peter, you used to be a great guy, but ever since you won that lottery...
彼得,你以前是個好人 但自從你中了樂透...
Ah!
啊!
Ow!
噢
Ah!
啊!
Come on, Joe.
來吧 喬
F*** this guy.
去他的
I'm here to audition for Fiddler on the Roof.
我是來試演《屋頂上的提琴手》的
Come right in.
請進
I'm worried the money is changing this family and not the way you hoped.
我擔心錢會改變這個家庭,而不是你希望的那樣。
Well, I was hoping it would make you shut up, so you're right.
好吧,我希望這能讓你閉嘴,所以你是對的。
You know, I spoke to Bonnie this morning, and she said you haven't talked to Joe or Quagmire in two weeks.
我今早跟邦妮談過了 她說你已經兩週沒跟喬或卡格米爾說話了
Who cares?
誰在乎呢?
I don't need Quagmire, and I certainly don't need Joe.
我不需要泥潭,當然也不需要喬。
I don't like what this money is doing to us.
我不喜歡這筆錢對我們的影響。
Lois, don't you understand?
露意絲,你還不明白嗎?
We don't got any of our old problems anymore.
我們再也沒有老問題了。
We don't have to worry about paying bills.
我們不用擔心支付賬單。
We don't have to worry about saving dough.
我們不用擔心省錢的問題。
All we got to do is enjoy ourselves.
我們要做的就是盡情享受。
Interested?
感興趣嗎?
Ah!
啊!
Oh, my God!
我的天啊
Peter, it's beautiful.
彼得,太美了
Is it a blood diamond?
是血鑽嗎?
Ah, the bloodiest.
啊,最血腥的。
The two kids who found it were forced to murder each other.
找到它的兩個孩子被迫互相殘殺。
Oh, Peter, I love it.
哦,彼得,我喜歡。
I think I'm gonna take a nap.
我想我要打個盹。
What, here?
什麼,在這裡?
Yeah, I had a giant mobile put in the sky so I can sleep wherever I want.
是啊,我在天上裝了一個巨大的行動電話,這樣我就可以想睡哪兒就睡哪兒了。
Oh, this is nice.
哦,這個不錯。
I hope that bear comes around soon.
我希望那隻熊能儘快回來。
That's sort of my favorite.
這是我的最愛。
Oh, look, the bear!
哦,看,那隻熊!
Well, actually, sir, your card has been declined.
實際上,先生,您的卡被拒了。
Oh, really?
哦,真的嗎?
Well, I'm sure a brief call to my accountant will resolve this to our mutual satisfaction.
好吧,我相信只要給我的會計打個電話,就能解決這個問題,讓我們都滿意。
Hello, Schnozenstein?
喂,施諾岑斯坦?
This is Peter Griffin.
我是彼得-格里芬。
There seems to be some issue with our credit.
我們的信用似乎出了點問題。
I told Carstairs you'd set everything straight.
我告訴過喀斯特,你會把一切都擺平的.
What do you mean I'm broke?
你說我破產是什麼意思?
I can't believe it.
我簡直不敢相信。
We lost everything.
我們失去了一切。
What do we do now?
我們現在該怎麼辦?
Well, seems like our only hope is the lottery.
看來我們唯一的希望就是彩票了。
Holy...
神聖的...
We won twice, and we're right back here again.
我們贏了兩次,又回到了這裡。
We had $150 million, and we blew through it in a month.
我們有 1.5 億美元,一個月就花光了。
Peter, we can't live like this.
彼得,我們不能再這樣生活下去了。
Well, what are we supposed to do, Lois?
那我們該怎麼辦,露意絲?
Everything we had is gone.
我們擁有的一切都不復存在。
We have friends, Peter.
我們有朋友,彼得
Not anymore, we don't.
現在不會了,我們不會了。
They're good people.
他們是好人。
They'll listen, and they'll care what happens to us, even after everything that's happened.
他們會傾聽,他們會關心我們的遭遇,即使發生了這麼多事。
Well, well, look who it is.
看看這是誰
Look, you guys, I messed up bad.
聽著 夥計們 我搞砸了
Winning the lottery was the worst thing that ever happened to me and my family.
中彩票對我和我的家庭來說是最糟糕的事情。
I thought being rich would solve all my problems, but all it did was make me forget what was important, like who my real friends are.
我以為有錢就能解決所有問題,但結果只是讓我忘記了最重要的東西,比如我真正的朋友是誰。
I don't expect you to forgive me, but if for some reason you do, you can find me in a cardboard box on the corner of Meeting and Fair.
我不指望你會原諒我,但如果你出於某種原因原諒了我,你可以在 Meeting 和 Fair 街角的一個紙箱裡找到我。
Peter, wait.
彼得,等等
That corner's a bit of a hike for me.
那個角落對我來說有點遠。
I'd rather just come see you at home.
我寧願直接去你家看你。
What?
什麼?
Where'd you get this kind of money?
你哪來這麼多錢?
The penis enlargement pill you gave me the startup money for.
你給我啟動資金買的陰莖增大藥丸
It turned a pretty nice profit.
利潤相當可觀。