Don't apologize. They seem nice.

不用道歉。他們看起來不錯

Well, you wouldn't say that if you ever saw us in the movies.

如果你看過我們的電影，就不會這麼說了。

Alright, we got our popcorn from home, our soda from home, our snacks from home, and Braveheart.

好吧，我們從家裡拿了爆米花，從家裡拿了蘇打水，從家裡拿了零食，還有《勇敢的心》。

Wow, a paying grown-up job!

哇，這是一份有報酬的成人工作！

I haven't been this excited about anything since the night Wicked premiered in Quahog.

自從《魔女宅急便》在誇霍格首演的那天晚上起，我就再也沒有這麼興奮過了。

Alright, Brian, let's rob these gay guys.

好了，布萊恩，我們去搶劫這些同志吧

What if they're home?

如果他們在家呢？

They're not gonna be home.

他們不會回家的

Look, I even brought Tom Sizemore's Game of Life.

聽著，我甚至帶來了湯姆-西澤摩爾的《生命遊戲》。

Sell rights to saving Private Ryan residuals to buy a case of Coors Light.

賣掉《拯救大兵瑞恩》的剩餘版權，買一箱庫爾斯淡啤。

Steal your son's wallet while he's in the shower.

趁你兒子洗澡時偷走他的錢包。

Miss Audition.

試鏡小姐

Scoop someone's urine from Starbucks toilet to pass drug test.

從星巴克廁所裡舀別人的尿液來通過藥物測試。

Feels like we should be moving these pieces backwards.

感覺我們應該把這些棋子向後移動。

Oh, my God, that's always been a dream of mine!

天哪，這一直是我的夢想！

Well, that and tuning a guitar in front of a live audience.

嗯，還有在現場觀眾面前給吉他調音。

This was in perfect tune when they handed it to me.

當他們把它交給我時，它的音調非常好。

Hey, guys, how about a little TV?

嘿，夥計們，看看電視怎麼樣？

We can watch a baby thing together.

我們可以一起看嬰兒節目

Baby Einstein.

嬰兒愛因斯坦

Muppet babies.

布偶寶寶

Uh, what's CSI babies?

CSI嬰兒是什麼？

What's this?

這是什麼？

They can't solve this crime.

他們破不了案。

They're just frightened babies.

他們只是受到驚嚇的嬰兒。

They don't even know it's a crime.

他們甚至不知道這是犯罪。

They just know their parents aren't there.

他們只知道父母不在身邊。

They're scared, now I'm scared.

他們害怕，現在我也害怕。

Turn this off!

關閉此功能！

Ah, that's not what I want!

啊，這不是我想要的！

Ah, I'm gonna go hide in my couch fort!

啊，我要躲到我的沙發堡壘裡去了！

Is CSI babies over yet?

CSI 嬰兒期結束了嗎？

Brian, this does not seem appropriate to watch in front of the baby.

布萊恩，在孩子面前看這個似乎不太合適。

Not appropriate?

不合適？

You took me to see Magic Mike XXL.

你帶我去看了《魔力麥克XXL》。

Yep, this one's wet.

沒錯，這個是溼的。

This one, too.

這個也是。

Also wet.

也是溼的

Huh, this one's dry, but the back of the seat in front of it is wet.

咦，這個是乾的，但前面的椅背是溼的。

You know, many viewers think our cutaways are just whipped together, but they actually go through a rigorous testing process before filming.

要知道，很多觀眾都以為我們的剪輯只是臨時拼湊起來的，但其實它們在拍攝前都經過了嚴格的測試過程。

This is the planet Jupiter, and he could say, next year is my star mitzvah.

這是木星，他可以說，明年是我的成人禮。

Ha-ha!

哈哈！

They love it.

他們很喜歡。

Tell the director. Where is he?

告訴導演他在哪兒？

It says don't take it with alcohol, but you should take it with alcohol.

它說不要與酒精一起服用，但你應該與酒精一起服用。

Yeah, duh.

是啊

I also need a couple for the girl I'm babysitting.

我還需要幾件給我要照看的女孩。

Yeah, because we don't want to make a big mistake, like when I peed next to the chatty guy.

是啊，因為我們不想犯大錯，就像我在那個健談的傢伙旁邊撒尿一樣。

Hey, man, we should get out of here.

嘿，夥計，我們該走了

The building's on fire.

大樓著火了

Hey, pal, not now. I'm busy.

嘿，夥計，現在不行。我很忙

Anyway, I'll tell you what's on fire.

總之，我會告訴你什麼著火了。

My urethra.

我的尿道

That's the last time I go to a water park.

這是我最後一次去水上樂園了。

I'll tell you that much.

我就說這麼多吧。

Well, that's not completely true, because I have a group on, and I'd hate to waste it.

也不完全是這樣，因為我有一個小組，我不想浪費它。

Blast the truth is, the kid...

事實是，孩子...

Oh, my God.

我的天啊

I was the chatty guy.

我是個健談的人。

Open the door, or I'll start executing passengers.

開門，否則我就開始處決乘客了。

Man, coming on this trip was a terrible idea.

天啊，來參加這次旅行真是個糟糕的主意。

I know.

我知道

Now I wish I'd just stayed home and finished my remake of Inside Out.

現在我真希望自己能呆在家裡，完成我的翻拍版《Inside Out》。

I'm Joy.

我是喬伊。

I'm Sadness.

我是悲傷

I'm Anger.

我是憤怒

I'm Disgust.

我感到噁心。

I'm Pooh.

我是維尼

Oh, I need to use the bathroom.

哦，我要上廁所。

Yay, I win!

耶，我贏了！

I don't know. We've always had each other's backs.

我也不知道我們一直相互扶持。

Like when we used to rob banks in lesser-known President's Masks.

就像我們以前戴著鮮為人知的 "總統面具 "搶銀行一樣。

All right, remember to tell everyone who did this.

好了，記得告訴大家是誰幹的。

Um, who are you guys supposed to be?

你們是什麼人？

Oh, come on. I'm James K. Polk.

得了吧我是詹姆斯-K-波爾克

He's Millard Fillmore.

他就是米勒德-菲爾莫爾。

He's William Henry Harrison.

他就是威廉-亨利-哈里森。

First president to die in office.

第一位死於任內的總統

You should have been FDR.

你應該是羅斯福。

Why?

為什麼？

Because of the, you know...

因為...

The wheelchair doesn't define me!

輪椅並不能定義我！

And I'm Grover Cleveland.

我是格羅弗-克利夫蘭

It's funny, because my name's Cleveland.

這很有趣，因為我的名字叫克利夫蘭。

Aw, damn it, Cleveland. Now we got to kill them all.

該死的，克利夫蘭現在我們得把他們全殺了

This guy gets it first.

這傢伙先拿到的。

That bastard's just getting famous by tricking people, like Orson Welles.

那個混蛋就是靠騙人出名的，就像奧森-威爾斯一樣。

So, the aliens have come to Earth to destroy all mankind.

所以，外星人來到地球是為了毀滅全人類。

And, uh, they're going to start at McDonald's.

而且，呃，他們要從麥當勞開始。

So if you're in line there, you better run.

所以，如果你正在排隊，最好快跑。

Whoa, whoa. Not the workers, though.

哇，哇。但不是工人。

They've already said the workers are safe.

他們已經說工人們是安全的。

Why would the principal make all the students do that?

為什麼校長要讓所有學生都這麼做？

I don't know. I think he's going through a tough time.

我不知道我想他正在經歷一段艱難的時期。

He's in the middle of a bad divorce.

他正在鬧離婚。

What? How do you know that?

什麼，你怎麼知道的？

He's actually been pretty open about it.

事實上，他對此一直很坦誠。

Good morning, students.

早上好，同學們。

Today at 3.30, James Woods High will be hosting a cross-country meet.

今天下午 3:30，詹姆斯伍茲高中將舉辦越野賽。

Which also happens to be where Lorraine has threatened to take my children across the country.

這也是洛林威脅要帶我的孩子們橫穿全國的地方。

And here's today's Tuesday trivia question.

下面是今天的週二小問題。

Does this sound like yelling?

這聽起來像大喊大叫嗎？

Because apparently this sounds to some people like yelling.

因為很顯然，對某些人來說，這聽起來像是在大喊大叫。

All right, fine.

好吧

I mean, it's not the first time I pretended to be someone else.

我的意思是，這不是我第一次假扮別人了。

I once dressed as a farmer to get a date on FarmersOnly.com.

我曾在 FarmersOnly.com 上扮成農民約會。

Are you Peter?

你是彼得嗎？

Yeah. Are you the gross lady who lives in the converted horse trailer?

是啊你就是那個住在改裝馬拖車裡的噁心女人？

You don't have to be lonely at FarmersOnly.com.

在 FarmersOnly.com，您不必感到孤獨。

It doesn't say whites only, but...

它沒有說只有白人，但...

yeah.

是的

Hey!

嘿！

Boy, that was rough.

天啊，那可真難熬。

This sport's even more dangerous than skeet shooting.

這項運動甚至比飛靶射擊更危險。

Pull!

拉！

I got in the wrong line!

我排錯隊了

Stewie, I've been standing here the whole time.

史都華，我一直站在這裡。

You know what? That's fine.

你知道嗎？沒關係

I'll just go have a dog-style celebration by myself.

我就一個人去享受狗式的慶祝吧。

Yeah! Awesome time!

是啊太棒了

This is very fun for me!

這對我來說非常有趣！

Hey! Oh, hey!

嘿！

This is fun, right?

這很有趣，對吧？

The best! And me too!

最棒的！我也是

Oh, Rupert, I can't believe Taylor Swift is actually going to be in our house.

哦，魯伯特，真不敢相信泰勒-斯威夫特真的會來我們家。

I haven't been this excited since I abused those caffeine pills to get ready for the big show.

自從我濫用咖啡因藥片為大秀做準備以來，我還沒有這麼興奮過。

Everything will be fine, as long as I take one of these.

只要我帶著這個，一切都會好起來的。

Pills? You actually are taking drugs?

藥片？你真的在吸毒？

Stewie, give me those!

Stewie 把那些給我

I can't, Zach! I need them to sing!

我不能，扎克！我需要他們唱歌

I'm so excited!

我太激動了

I'm so excited!

我太激動了

I'm so scared!

我好害怕

I'm so scared!

我好害怕

I'm so scared!

我好害怕

Screech is going to stab someone on Christmas.

斯克瑞奇要在聖誕節捅死一個人。

Screech is going to stab someone on Christmas.

斯克瑞奇要在聖誕節捅死一個人。

I mean, can you imagine if we had our own medieval castle?

我的意思是，你能想象如果我們有自己的中世紀城堡嗎？

I bet it'd be even more fun than when I went to White Castle.

我敢打賭，那一定比我去白色城堡時更有趣。

Huh.

咦？

Names are a little deceiving.

名字有點騙人