Name: 回顧星期四：酒保試圖警告我｜加布裡埃爾-伊格萊西亞斯 (Throwback Thursday: The Bartender Tried To Warn Me | Gabriel Iglesias)
Uploaded: 2024-08-13T13:15:21.000Z
Duration: 5 min 22 s

This is what you got to do with your life.

不，如果你喜歡漢堡，那就殺了它。

I'm just saying, that's what I'm going through.

我只是說，這就是我正在經歷的。

And then people think, oh, he's trying to lose weight because he's doing movies.

然後人們就會想，哦，他在努力減肥，因為他在拍電影。

不，不，不，不，不，不，不，不。

At my highest weight of 445 pounds, the level of acceptance I had was amazing.

在我體重最高時達到 445 磅時，我對自己的接納程度令人驚歎。

To put it to you like this, to put it to you like this, at 445 pounds, there was women throwing themselves at me.

這樣跟你說吧，445 磅的時候，有很多女人向我投懷送抱。

Oh, in Bay Area, let me tell you something about gay men.

哦，在灣區，讓我告訴你一些關於男同性戀的事情。

I'm going to tell you something about gay men.

我要告訴你一些關於男同性戀的事情。

Gay men are very creative, they're very persistent, and they're very opportunistic when they want to achieve the mission.

男同性戀很有創造力，他們很執著，當他們想要完成任務時，他們很會投機取巧。

They're just as calculated as straight men are.

So, one night, Martine and I are at a bar, and we're having drinks.

一天晚上，我和瑪蒂娜在酒吧喝酒。

So, as we're drinking, Martine is paying attention, and he's listening in to a conversation that's happening about 15 feet away between these two girls.

我們喝酒的時候，瑪蒂娜一直在注意聽，他在偷聽這兩個女孩在 15 英尺外的對話。

They're going back and forth, and one of them was like, I don't believe we finished the whole bottle.

他們來來回回，其中一個人說，我不相信我們能喝完整瓶酒。

How the hell are we supposed to get home?

Martine stands up, looks at me, and says, bro, I'll be back.

瑪蒂娜站起來，看著我說，兄弟，我會回來的。

You know, freaking, hit him, hit him, hit him, hit him, hit him, hit him.

你知道，嚇壞了，打他，打他，打他，打他，打他，打他。

They listen, they focus, they pay attention, they wait for one of the cows to get away from the rest of the herd so they can corner it and strike.

它們傾聽，它們專注，它們關注，它們等待著其中一頭奶牛遠離牛群的其他部分，這樣它們就能把它逼到角落，然後發動攻擊。

Four hours later, Martine and I are at the bar, and I'm 16 shots of tequila in.

四個小時後，我和瑪蒂娜來到酒吧，我已經喝了 16 杯龍舌蘭酒。

And I tell Martine, bro, I don't remember the last time I had this many shots of tequila.

我告訴瑪蒂娜，兄弟，我都不記得上次喝這麼多龍舌蘭酒是什麼時候了。

And Martine goes, bro, you're crazy, Fluffy, you're crazy.

瑪蒂娜說，兄弟，你瘋了，毛毛，你瘋了。

And so he leaves to the restroom, and I'm leaning against the bar.

於是他去了洗手間，我就靠在吧檯上。

The bar is the only thing keeping me standing.

酒吧是唯一能讓我站起來的地方。

And from across the room, this guy stands up, looks at his friends, and says, I'll be back.

這個人站起來，看著他的朋友們，說："我會回來的。

Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun.

敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦敦。

And he gets in my face and he tells me, I just have to say, I am such a huge fan of yours.

他當著我的面對我說，我不得不說，我是你的超級粉絲。

Anytime someone says they're a huge fan of mine, it automatically makes me smile, even more so if I've been drinking.

只要有人說他們是我的超級粉絲，我就會自動露出笑容，如果我喝了酒，笑容會更燦爛。

如果我在喝酒，我會說，謝謝。

兄弟，我已經滿載而歸，我鞠躬了。

The guy puts his hand on my shoulder and he says, I just have to say, you have gotten me through some difficult times.

他把手放在我的肩膀上，說："我只想說，你讓我度過了一些困難時期。

And he stops talking and he squeezes and he goes, oh, my God.

他不說話了，捏了捏，然後說："哦，天哪"。

他就說，哦，你完全能看出來。

He's like, no, bro, you don't understand.

Want me to rub both your shoulders and your back and scratch it?

He grabs me by the shoulders and he turns me around.

他抓住我的肩膀，把我轉過身來。

Now I'm facing the bartender and the bartender is trying to warn me.

現在我正對著酒保，酒保正試圖警告我。

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回顧星期四：酒保試圖警告我｜加布裡埃爾-伊格萊西亞斯 (Throwback Thursday: The Bartender Tried To Warn Me | Gabriel Iglesias)

straight

conversation

fluffy

achieve